"Hey E, it's me again. I'm sorry for leaving that mess of a voicemail for you yesterday. My brain just feels like it's everywhere, you know? You were always the one that could calm me down, help me organize all the shit going on in my head. And now, you're the one making everything feel so screwed up...
I feel so stupid, leaving these for you. Honestly, I don't know why I'm doing it. I could easily invest in like, a diary or something. But I guess it feels good to actually say it out loud; to know that maybe one day you'll wake up and you can listen to these.
Or maybe I'm hanging onto the hope that you'll simply pick up, always by the third ring like you do even if you get to your phone by ring number two, and greet me with that long drawn out "hellllooooo?" in that same silly voice you use whenever you're tickling me. Maybe I'm hanging onto the hope that you're fine and all of this ended up being one big, horrible nightmare.
I miss you, Ethan."