Chapter 12: Don't Leave a Sister Hanging
Since I’d gotten so good at avoiding people, I managed to dodge Margot for the rest of the day, which was a hard thing to pull off because dodging Margot was kind of like dodging a flying bullet. She was resourceful, she could find out where I was just by ordering her minions to track me down and she’d know where I was hiding in one minute flat. Jumping by the expectant, yet horrified look I glimpsed in her eyes before I bulldozed my way out of our history classroom before she had a chance to catch up with me, I could tell that our talk was far from over. I could see why she wanted…no, why she needed an answer from me.
But, considering I was in no mood to give any answers, I hid out in the library where I even had my lunch. I hadn’t resorted to such drastic measures even when I was a freshman and had no friends to speak of. But now that I was one of the populars, I had no one to share my lunch with, which was sort of depressing. Not sort of. Very depressing. But also, kind of necessary.
At the end of the school day, I was just glad that I could spend some alone time with Hannah and talk it all out with her, thinking she may have had more insight in this. When I started walking over to her jeep, though, I saw that Margot was already leaning against it and she and Hannah were talking animatedly, oblivious that I was watching them from distance.
When Margot saw me an unreadable look passed over her face, but I couldn’t make anything of it because Hannah had thrown her arms around me and had blocked my view.
“Where have you been?” Hannah demanded to know once she’d pulled away, but she still kept me at arm’s length, as if I was about to flee. Clever girl. “I haven’t seen you since this morning. Margot and I have started thinking you were going to flake out on us,” Hannah said accusingly, punching me slightly in the shoulder, but I didn’t feel a thing because I was too focused thinking not about the pain, but something else entirely.
“Us?” I repeated dumbly. “You’re coming with us, too?” I asked, directing my question towards Margot who simply nodded in reply, giving me a speculative look.
“Is that okay?” she asked, raising one perfectly plucked eyebrow at me challengingly and I forced myself to act like I wasn’t throw off balance.
“Yeah, of course,” I shrugged flippantly, rolling my eyes, “why wouldn’t it be? That’s awesome. The more, the merrier,” I replied, trying to convince not just them, but myself, too.
But even still, I’d already taken one step backwards, trying to put more distance between me and the girls so when I spotted Rachel’s head in distance, an idea came to me.
“Oh, guys, shoot, I forgot,” I cursed, slapping a hand to my forehead and looking remorseful, even though inwardly I was simply relieved, “I promised Rachel I’d hang out with her today. My dad’s been nagging at me for being a total bitch to her, so he wants me to make amends. I really have to split. You guys go ahead, I’ll catch up with you later, okay?” I told Hannah and pointedly avoided looking anywhere near Margot as I started walking backwards with my hands raised in surrender.
“You’re bailing on me?” Hannah asked in disbelief, her mouth wide open, but all I could do was shrug in response before I swiveled around and made a beeline for Rachel just as she was about to get into her mini cooper, a present from dad for her sixteenth birthday.
“Savannah,” she said my name almost in a daze as she froze in place, her hand still on the handle, probably wondering what the hell I thought I was doing.
Well, I was making my great escape, for one.
“Just,” I started, hoping she’d stop gawking at me, as if I was an alien and not ask any stupid questions, “follow my lead, okay?” I slip into the passenger seat of her car, and then closed the door behind me. Soon Rachel did the same, much to my relief.
“Everything okay?” Was the first thing she asked me once she was behind the steering wheel. She looked like she was threading on thin ice with me, which might as well have been true, all things considered.
I couldn’t believe that I had to run to her for shelter, out of all people. The irony of life was hard to ignore.
“Just….go,” I told her, thinking that later I had to come back to school to pick up my car, but it was nothing compared to the excruciating conversation with Margot I was going to be forced to have once she brought up Connor again.
I couldn’t blame her, either. If I was in her place, I would’ve wondered why I was acting so crazy (crazier than usual, that is), too.
“Where to?” she asked me next, although she followed my advice and peeled out the parking lot and the farther I was from the girls, the freer I felt.
“Home, I guess,” I replied after small deliberation. I didn’t really know where else to go at the moment. Or whom to talk to while we were at it, too.
“Savannah…,” Rachel started to say, but I decided to cut her off before she got any ideas.
“Don’t,” I warned her in a low, but deadly voice, one that proved to people that messing with me was pretty darn suicidal, “don’t think that just because you’re giving me a ride, we’ll suddenly become besties or something. We’re not having a heart-to-heart.”
Rachel was my sister, not by choice, but she was not my friend by choice. I didn’t see that changing anytime soon.
She sighed, then I saw her tighten her hands on the steering wheel, but she held her tongue, even if she did want to snap back at me same way I did to her.
When my cell beeped, I almost ignored it, thinking that it was Hannah…or worse – Margot. A wave of relief crashed into me when I realized it was just Connor, asking me if I wanted to stop by his house after football practice to play video games with him and Owen. My fingertips hovered over the keypad and I bit my lip, not knowing what to do. Usually, I would’ve been all for it, but I couldn’t help myself but wonder.
Did he know?
Of course he didn’t. Otherwise he would’ve told me about this by now. Margot Wells having a legit crush on you and wanting to date you was kind of a big deal. But, trust was, I had no idea if Connor was interested in dating her. I got that she wanted him, but I didn’t know if he liked her back.
Seriously, who was I kidding?
Of course he liked her. Maybe he didn’t know it yet, but he did. He’d be crazy not to.
How could I tell him that Margot had basically asked for my blessing to start pursuing, dating him or whatever it was that she wanted to do with him?
All this thinking about Connor, about Margot, about them being together was making my head pound, so quickly texted him back, saying I wouldn’t make it. Hell, even sitting in dead silence with Rachel was preferable over having to grill Connor about Margot.
“You know,” Rachel began and if she knew what was good for her, she would’ve kept her silence, “you may hate me, but apparently, I’m closest thing to a friend you have right now,” she told me, surprising me, in fact.
I turned to look at her, amazed that she could be so bold. Just the other day she was begging me to let her in and now she was being all saucy and a smart-ass.
“Oh, really?” I asked, raising one eyebrow at her, waiting for her to continue. “How so?”
Rachel clenched and unclenched hands nervously before she prowled on. “Well…you did bail on your friends and came to me instead,” she explained simply, shrugging.
“You saw that?” I asked, surprised that she’d seen me make a scene.
“Oh, yeah,” Rachel nodded in affirmative, getting all pensive and pursing her lips, “I think everyone around saw it, too. They definitely heard Hannah, that was for sure.”
Of course they did. Subtle had never been Hannah’s style. Whatever she did, she was loud and obnoxious and everyone knew her business.
I sighed, annoyed, not just at Rachel for once, but at this whole ordeal. I was confused and I needed to talk this through with Hannah, but without even knowing it, she’d ruined everything.
For a second there, I even entertained the thought of spilling the beans to Rachel, wondering what was the worst that could happen, but when I opened my mouth to speak, no words came out. Was I feeling that lonely and forsaken that I was even willing to talk and seek advice from Rachel, the little brat I couldn’t stand, out of all people?
Thankfully, she didn’t ask any more questions I had no way of answering because we were already by my house. She pulled over, but didn’t stop the car, which meant she wasn’t going to ask me to invite her in. Truthfully, this house was hers as much as it was mine, but there was this unwritten rule that it was my territory, not hers, same way I didn’t belong in the house that she and the evil witch lived in. I may have had a room in it, but it didn’t necessarily mean I considered it my home. That was what happened after my folks called it quits.
I was about to step out, but I sat back down and I half-faced Rachel. “Thanks,” I told her quietly and she gave me a small, tentative smile, testing the waters. “I owe you one,” I admitted reluctantly, ready to slip out of her car, one foot already on the pavement.
“How about,” Rachel’s voice stopped me from leaving and I turned to her once again, “instead of owing me anything, you just call mom back?” she asked, biting down on her lower lip, hard, and looking at me pleadingly.
I pursed my lips, my eyes hardening. Everyone could tell I wasn’t a fan of the idea, but went along, anyways. “Fine,” I said in a clipped voice and Rachel’s eyes widened in surprise. She didn’t expect me to cave in, obviously. Neither did I, to be honest.
“You will?” She gaped at me with her mouth wide open.
“I said so, didn’t I?” I snapped at her, making her flinch before her expression smoothed out and she recovered. For a moment there, I even felt bad for snapping at her, but then I came to my senses, too.
“Okay, great,” she replied in a controlled voice, combing a hand through her silky, chocolate brown hair, which was a nervous tick she’d had since we were kids.
“Yeah, yeah, awesome,” I said exasperatedly, waving her away as I got out of the car and then she was off.
I was trying to fish my keys out of my handbag, wondering if I’d lost them again, which was basically a part of my daily routine when I realized I was not alone.
“So you are hiding something from me,” Hannah suddenly exclaimed in hallelujah voice and surprised, seeing how I hadn’t heard her coming, I dropped my bag to the ground. I spun around, shocked to find her standing behind me.
“Fuck, Hannah,” I cursed at her as I bent down, still shaking, to pick up my bag. “What are you doing here?” I asked, standing up, then added, “Did you follow me?”
I knew that Hannah was not the most mentally stable girl I knew, something we both had in common, but I had no idea she had stalking tendencies, too.
How did she manage to arrive at my house before I did beat me, too…?
“Yeah,” she confirmed, unabashed and unremorseful, like she hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary, “and it’s a good thing I did. You lied to me, Sav,” she said to me, sounding – dare I say it – hurt. Her eyes glinted as she kept on talking, “Why did you bail on me?” she wondered, her bottom lip quivering, as if she was about to start crying, but I knew that this was just a trick Hannah used when she wanted to get people to tell her the truth.
I sighed, then glanced down at my feet before I met her eyes again. “I didn’t bail on you,” I insisted, remembering that Hannah was actually the only person I really wanted to talk to and tell everything to.
“Yeah, as if,” she scoffed, her eyes growing hard as she crossed her arms across my chest and turned her nose up at me, “you totally bailed on us.”
I sighed exasperatedly once more, thinking that this was not a conversation I wanted to have out on the streets. “Get inside, Han,” I commanded, motioning for her to go in after I opened the front door, but Hannah didn’t make a move.
“Why would I? So you can lie to my face some more?” she asked haughtily, as if she wasn’t about to believe a word that left my mouth. “I’m fine right here, thanks.”
I shrugged. “Suit yourself then,” I said to her before I almost closed the door in her face, but Hannah’s foot prevented me from doing that.
“Hey,” she protested and I pulled the door open to reveal a very red-faced and scandalized Hannah, “you did not just close the door in my face!” she shrieked at me, sounding more downright amazed than mad at me.
“You said you were fine where you were,” I shot back, reminding me what she’d told me not a few seconds ago if my memory served me right.
Hannah rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed with me. “God, Savannah, you’re such a bitch,” she declared before she pushed past me, bumping her shoulder into me before she went in. I rolled my eyes at her theatrics before I gently closed the door and followed after her.
Hannah stood in the middle of my living room with her hands on her narrow hips.
“So are you ready to tell me what’s up with you and why you lied to my face before I change my mind and kick your ass instead?” she asked, all business as she let her bag fall to the floor.
“For the record,” I started, pointing one finger up, “you don’t stand a chance in a fight against me. I can take you down in one minute flat,” I stated, giving Hannah a quick once over. She looked so small sometimes, even now when she tried to act all forbidding and shit, I could still easily fit her into my back pocket.
Instead of getting mad or starting to argue with me for picking on her height, like I hoped she would, she simply rolled her eyes at me, again. “I swear Savannah if you don’t tell me why you left us hanging, I’ll-“
I didn’t let her finish, I jumped in before she could. “Margot,” I said simply, obviously not thinking straight. I didn’t even know where I was going with this.
Hannah blinked at me blankly, realizing I’d spoken. “What about Margot?” she asked slowly, pushing her dark blond eyebrows together.
“Why did you invite her to tag along with us?” I asked, trying, but failing miserably not to sound bitter about it. I liked Margot, I really did, but I felt like I was about to lose my closest friends to her and that…well, that I definitely didn’t like one bit. I was there first. Somehow it didn’t seem fair. First Hannah who was crazy about the girl and always hung around her when she could and now she wanted Connor, too.
“I didn’t,” Hannah argued, getting on the defensive, “she asked what I was doing after school, I told her I was hanging out with you and she asked if she could come and of course, I said okay, why not? I didn’t think you’d mind if she came,” she said, sounding downright accusing and even though she wasn’t pointing any fingers at anyone, her voice was ice cold, “we’re all friends, aren’t we?”
“You should’ve told me, Han,” I told said to her in a tired voice, rubbing my temples.
“Well, gee, I would’ve told you if you hadn’t been avoiding me all day long,” she snapped back, not wasting any time. “But I don’t see what the problem is! I thought you got along with Margot,” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in surrender, like she didn’t know what to do with me.
“That’s irrelevant,” I explained calmly, thinking that it was a bit more complicated than this. And then, when Hannah opened her mouth to yell me off, I continued. “Do you know the identity of the mystery guy she’s oh so crazy about?” I asked her, at which Hannah shook her head, still not following, but I could tell she was getting curious.
“It’s Connor,” I proclaimed, trying not to make a face. But just the idea of them, of them together made me want to gag, still.
And then, for the first time since I’d known her, Hannah was left speechless.
“Oh, shit,” she breathed out, her hands dropping limply by her sides and her jaw dropping to the floor.
“This is…this is-,” Hannah struggled to find the right words, her voice drifting off. Then she glanced away from me and bit her lower lip as she rubbed her neck awkwardly.
“Surprising?” I offered, smiling a little, figuring this was how I must’ve looked when Margot admitted it to me.
“No shit,” she said in her ‘duh, are you fucking kidding me?’ voice that she’d perfected.
“Are you okay with it?” she asked through her widened eyes and then it looked like she was about to reach out to touch me, but she didn’t. “What are you going to do?” she continued, bombarding me with questions and blinking fervently, like she’d caught fire. “Hell, how did you even find out?”
“She told me,” I said, “she basically asked for my blessing. She wanted to know if I’d be cool if she and Connor, you know…,” I shrugged, my voice trailing off, but I was glad I didn’t have to finish that sentence and Hannah could read between the lines.
Hannah clasped her hands together, getting excited. “What did you say?” she asked breathlessly.
“Nothing,” I exclaimed, eyes wide, lifting my shoulders up. “I said nothing! I don’t know…it just feels weird. She’s my friend, he’s my ex…the two of them together…it’s weird,” I shuddered, hoping that Hannah would back me up on this, but she didn’t look that sympathetic with me. On the opposite, she looked skeptical after she heard me out.
“Uh-huh, I thought you’re over Connor,” she said, slightly narrowing her eyes, trying to catch me in a lie, but I didn’t see how that was even possible. What did I have to lie about?
“I am, but still…”
“Still what?” Hannah pressed, which didn’t help soothe my nerves.
“I don’t know!” I exclaimed, fighting the urge to bash my head against the wall. “I don’t know what to think,” I admitted before I flopped down on the coach, shoulders slumping in defeat because all this was too confusing for me.
Hannah hovered over me, but didn’t join me on the coach. “Okay, so this is kind of weird,” Hannah observed and when I shot her a dark glare, she backpedalled, “okay, very weird for you, but you need to talk to Margot. She’s probably freaking out right now,” Hannah speculated, getting all pensive on me and a part of me was peeved that even now when she was with me, Hannah was still worried about how Margot must’ve been feeling, never mind that I too had feelings.
“And tell her what, exactly?” I asked through narrowed eyes.
“The truth,” Hannah shrugged, as if it really was that easy to do, “that you and Connor are just friends. You don’t still have feelings for him, do you?” she asked, deliberately drawing each word out, secretly enjoying this.
“No,” I stressed, shaking my head feverishly, “I wanted us to end things, too, remember?” I reminded her and Hannah shrugged carelessly at me, as if that was of no importance to her.
“Then what’s the big deal? I get that it’s super-duper weird and I’m shocked too, but I don’t know…call Margot and tell her that you need to get used to the idea or something,” Hannah brainstormed, “just don’t leave a sister hanging. It’s not cool,” she said to me and I leant back, running a hand through my hair absentmindedly, thinking her words over.
“You’re right. It’s not cool of me to keep avoiding her like that,” I admitted, realizing how foolish I’d been acting. I was not a middle school girl with a crush on her big brother’s best friend. I was supposed to have my wits about me when it came to stuff like that and put someone else’s needs before my own. “This is so stupid. I’m going to call her and set it straight,” I said resolutely and Hannah sighed in relief whereas my stomach was tied in a knot I didn’t think would ever get untangled.
With all these dreadful phone calls I had to make today, I’d sure need plenty of liquid courage.
A/N: Oh, gosh, this chapter took longer than expected. My life's crazy right now and there's no time for me to write or read, so I'm sorry that I wasn't around much. I hope you liked this chap, even though it wasn't that exciting. ;) It was necessary either way. In the next one, we get to see more of Connor and Savannah fights with a friend. ;) Anyways, thanks for sticking with me guys! :*