November 1st 2001.
Detroit, Michigan.
*Chapter Inspired By: Kehlani- Not Used To It*
A/N: I think this chapter is going to be part one of two so keep an eye out for the next! Probably will be updating in a week or two at a stretch.
I realise that these 'imagines' are really long and more like chapters but you don't mind do you? I guess I've just continued writing the story and given up on the imagines idea??? Idk??? What do ya'll reckon lol. Do you mind? I guess the benefit of calling them imagines is that there's no pressure to continue with them or update frequently- I can literally stop when I want to. Wow this is rambly, okay I hope you enjoy the chapter lovelies!!!!!
Quick question! What do y'all honestly think about Marshall and Cassie's relationship?
Please comment and vote, I love any feedback!
-Louisa xxx
*****
Cassie's POV:
Hailie and Alaina giggled uncontrollably as their dad chased them around the lounge, trying to catch and tickle them to annoy them as much as humanely possible within the short five minutes he'd been home. Marshall was absolutely swamped at the moment with his music, he was 'in the zone', producing as many beats and songs as he could while he was inspired. Which meant he wasn't at home as much as he, and I, would like him to be. Not that it was all bad. The girls and I had been spending more time together and I wanted to try as best as I could to bond with them and assert my self as a constant thing in their often confusing lives. We'd been having a relaxed day reading, drawing and watching movies together but Marshall had completely dissolved the calm atmosphere I'd achieved, not that I minded one bit. Every time I saw him with the girls I got all warm and tingly inside, I adored the way he was with them. The perfect dad.
Marshall finally managed to grab them both and tickle them to the ground until they screamed bloody murder, begging for him to stop. I laughed to myself from the couch as Hailie yelled an urgent "I gotta pee!" before she toddled of with Alaina cracking up laughing.
"You don't think I forgot about my favourite big girl did you?" Marshall smirked, making his way over to me.
"Marshall Mathers if you tickle me I swear to god I'll kick you in the face" I deadpanned. Marshall chuckled softly and bent down to place a gentle kiss on my lips, making my insides turn to mush. "And who are you calling big?"
"Yo ass" Marshall whispered, reaching down to sneakily grab a handful of it.
Hailie ran back into the room and squealed when she saw us. "Ew! Stop kissing in front of us, it's gross!"
"Yeah please stop, I'm tryna watch TV here" Alaina groaned, throwing her head into a pillow.
"You mean stop this?" Marshall grinned at the girls cheekily before dramatically kissing my whole face sloppily, making me cringe and squirm to get away from him.
"Yes!" the girls shrieked in unison, with Alaina making gagging noises and Hailie trying to unsuccessfully claw her eyes out.
"Honey stop your terrorizing them" I giggled as he bopped me on the nose before collapsing next to me and resting his head on my shoulder. "Did you remember Nate and Kim are coming over for dinner?" I spoke lowly as I ran my long nails through his hair, making his tired eyes droop shut.
"Fuck" Marshall grumbled. "Let's just cancel, I can't be fucked with drama tonight".
"Sorry baby, chickens already in the oven and the sides are made. Besides, it'll be good. We haven't seen Kim in a while with her being sick and all" I reminded, nudging him. Kim, Marshall and I have been getting on surprisingly well, even willingly spending time together. Marshall and Kim have finally figured out how to successfully co-parent, while also being friends. I still couldn't believe it was real but I wasn't going to jinx it. The girls and us three adults were all much happier and actually now enjoyed having dinner together or just hanging about as a weird, mixed, crazy family.
"Yeah I know" he nodded. "You're too good to me baby" he murmured, pecking me on the lips. "Okay Hai Hai and Lanie, Mum and Nate are going to be over soon for dinner, ya'll needa pack up your toys and go get ready please".
"Daddy can we finish playing first? We'll be done really soon" Hailie begged with puppy dog eyes.
Marshall quickly looked at his Rolex watch that I'd bought him for our one year anniversary. It was 6.36 pm, Kim and Nate should be over any minute now. "Five more minutes okay?" They both nodded eagerly and went back to playing an intense game of Uno.
Marshall stood and winked suggestively at me and pulled me up with him to the kitchen. As soon as we were out of view I wrapped my arms around his neck and asked him with as much innocence as possible; "Yeah daddy, can we finish playing first?" I bit my lip to stifle a giggle as his eyes threatened to bulge out of his sockets at my provocative words.
Marshall smirked and shoved me against the door, hungrily eyeing up my body. "Keep talking with that dirty mouth of your's baby and I'll be more than happy to shove something in it to keep you quiet".
I quirked an eyebrow at him suggestively, running my hands up and down his toned arms. "Oh really?" He nodded slowly and dipped his head into the crook of my neck, nipping harshly at the skin. The doorbell sounded through the house and Marshall slumped against me, sighing deeply at our only moment together all day being interrupted. "Too bad we don't have the time" I purred, running my hand down to his front and snapping it away before he could feel my touch.
"The fuck am I gonna do with this now?" Marshall gestured down to the large effect I'd had on him.
"I'm sure you'll figure something out" I laughed, sauntering out of the kitchen and to the front door.
Smoothing my hair over once in the mirror, I peered through the peep hole to see Kim anxiously standing there, holding a plate of food and biting her lip. She looked different? Must be the fish-eye glass. I pulled the door open and immediately Kim stood up straighter and smiled a some-what forced smile at me; "Hey Cassie".
"Hey Kim" I leant over and gave her a friendly hug. I still couldn't believe how far we'd come in our relationship that I was now hugging her without second thought. Our relationship was completely different to since the first time we met, when she'd burst into Marshall's home screaming and calling me a whore. A lot could change in a year. "Long time no see".
I moved aside so she could come in and she shrugged off her coat, hanging it up. "I know, I'm sorry but I just haven't been feeling well recently". We slowly walked towards the dining area, as my eyes scanned her to see what was making me think she looked different.
"Any idea what it is yet?" I prodded.
She shook her head and half smiled at me as I took her plate off her and placed it on the dining table. "No idea, probably just a weird stomach bug".
"Are you taking any medicine?"
"Nah, doctor said it'll pass soon".
I nodded understandingly, sensing her unwillingness to talk about it much more. "The girls are in the lounge and Nate will be over soon. Do you want something to drink? I've got a bottle of white in the fridge, that one you like?"
"No thanks I'm good" she refused, shifting on her feet. "I'll just go say hi to the girls if that's all good?"
"Of course! You know you don't have to ask" I smiled, even though my mind was secretly racing to figure out what was up. Something was different, I could feel it. "I'll just go check on the chicken".
*****
"Nate just grow up would you" Marshall glared at Nate who'd spent the entire dinner mocking anything Hailie and Alaina would say or do.
Nate shrugged and kicked his feet up onto the table, "Sorry big bro, I can't help it".
My eye nearly damn twitched at the sight. "Nate get your dirty shoes off my goddamn table" I hissed, completely and utterly over his antics for the night. He'd already broken a plate of mine and hadn't even apologized, so I was pissed. Sometimes Nate was a great kid, and other times? He needed to stop being so damn immature. Recently Marshall and I had both agreed that the fact 'Eminem' was his brother had inflated his ego, especially as when his peers found out he was immediately elevated to God status in his school.
"Woah woah" Nate raised his hands in defense and slowly stood up, backing away. "Tell your missus to calm down bro". Kim raised her eyebrows in shock at his audacity to speak in such a way when I'd just made his dinner but she bit her tongue, knowing the after all these years it was best to keep out of arguments when possible.
"I know you did not just tell me to calm down or talk about me like Marshall's in charge of what I do".
"Yeah you better start watching your mouth Nate" Marshall warned, clenching his jaw. "I've had enough of your shit tonight. Either play nice or go home".
Surprise washed over his face but he masked it quickly, wanting to seem as cool as possible. "Fine. I'm outta here" Nate gruffed, kicking over a chair on the way out of the room. We all flinched as the front door slammed, and again as we heard Nate's car door slam shut just as forcefully.
I tutted as I picked up the chair and smoothed out the table cloth, trying to create the false appearance of a normal family. Marshall rubbed his face down in stress and took a seat next to Kim who scoffed at the volitile behaviour of a moody teenage boy. "Fuckin brat" she laughed, earning a smirk from Marshall and I.
"Tell me about it. He's been non-stop recently, I dunno what the fuck is wrong with him" Marshall thought aloud.
A comfortable silence fell over the three of us and I topped up Marshall and I's wine glass seeing as Kim wasn't drinking tonight. "So I've gotta tell you guys something" Kim confessed, staring down at her thumbs as she twiddled them.
My interest immediately piqued, hoping it's something to do with how different she's been acting tonight. Marshall and I exchanged a curious look, but he simply shrugged, just as lost as me. "Go on" I urged.
"So, the real reason that I've not been around as much recently is't because I've been sick, well it kind of is but- I've had morning sickness".
I gasped excitedly and leapt forward in my seat, a grin splitting my face in half as I jumped to conclusions. Everything suddenly clicked! The non-drinking, the perhaps slight weight gain which I didn't want to mention, and her absence in the past couple of months. "Kim are you...?"
"Pregnant? Yup".
"Oh my god!" I gushed, rushing out of my chair to ambush her with a hug. She seemed shocked but quickly accepted and let out what seemed to be a sigh of relief mixed with an airy laugh. I pulled back from the hug and bounced up and down. "This is so exciting! Isn't it Marshall?" I asked hopefully, realizing he hadn't said a word yet.
Kim, and me too now, held her breath again as we waited for Marshall's reply. His blank face spread into a genuine smile and his eyes glowed with excitement. Marshall was a sucker for kids. "That's great Kim" he embraced her in a friendly hug. "I'm really happy for you". I looked at the two of them and smiled, they were finally at a place where there was no competition, they could be genuinely happy for one another.
I sat back down and started asking the first of my millions of questions, "How far along are you?"
"My doctor thinks about 3 and a half months, I've just gotten into my second trimester, which is why I was waiting to tell you guys- till it was safe".
Marshall nodded. "Have you told the girls yet?"
Kim shook her head and turned to Marshall for advice. "I wanted to tell you guys first so you could help me figure out how to. I was thinking I'd wait to find out the sex of the baby, which I will in a couple of weeks. That way they'll be able to visualize it a bit better I think- if they know whether to expect a baby brother or sister".
"Yeah that's a good idea" Marshall agreed. "So Eric obviously knows?"
"Yeah". Kim looked down, a wave of sadness coming over her. "Things between us haven't been good recently. He's excited, but I just don't know if we'll stay together through it all". She bit her lip to stop from crying, tears brimming at her eyes.
I took her hands in mine and spoke to her as sincerely as I could; "Kim you don't have to worry about that. Marshall and I are going to be here to support you as much as you need and be on this journey with you. This is going to amazing! The girls are going to be so happy and excited for you".
Kim nodded and let what seemed to be a happy tear roll down her cheek. She looked to Marshall for his take on it and he cleared his throat seeming a tad emotional himself. I loved my softie of a man. "Yeah of course, you know we'll help ya out Kim. We're in a good place now, you can ask for anything".
"But Kim?" I brought her attention back to me and removed her hands from mine. "If you so much as think about using any type of drug or hanging around those people who get you into trouble, I will beat your fucking ass as soon as that baby is born".
"I-"
"I'm dead serious Kim. Then I'll make sure that beautiful innocent child is under our care and can't be touched by you. You hear me?" I spoke harshly. I couldn't be more serious. Kim was not going to let her bad habit ruin this baby or the girls any more. I've seen enough people ruined by addiction. My old life was a hard life to lead, watching friends fall from their addictions had taken a toll on my heart. I'd had enough, and now that she had gotten back from rehab a couple of months ago, I was determined to help her stay clean.
"I understand".
"I'm just giving you some tough love Kim. I care about you too much to let your addiction jeopardize this magical gift".
"I know" Kim wiped her tears, gathering herself. "I'm not using anymore I promise. This baby already means the world to me".
I moved around the table again and gave her the tightest hug I could manage, pouring my love into it so she could know how much I really cared. "God has blessed you. He's sent this baby to heal you. I can't wait to meet it". Kim squeezed me back just as hard, knowing I meant every word if I mentioned my God.
We all let out a cleansing breath and Marshall chuckled, breaking the tension. "Now that Cassie's finished being such a hard ass, do you guys want dessert? Cassie makes a bomb apple pie".
*****
"Okay girls, bed time now" I told them as I finished reading their story to them. They nodded sleepily and trailed up the stairs with me, as I let Marshall turn off all the lights and check the doors were locked, fulling packing up for the night. We were all exhausted and it was waaaay past the girls bed time, but I just couldn't turn down their hopeful smiles when they asked for a bedtime story. Marshall led Hailie into her room after I gave her a cuddle and kiss goodnight, and he did the same to Alaina as I took her to her room. Alaina happily crawled into her bed and I turned off the main light, letting the nightlight illuminate the room.
"Cassie?"
"Yes sweetie?" I replied, moving to her bed and sitting on the side. She pondered her burning question for a moment, seeming unsure whether to go on. "You can ask me anything Alaina, I'm listening" I smiled, tucking the covers tighter around her arms.
"Do you love me and Hailie, like mummy loves us?"
Shit.
Shit shit shit!
I wasn't prepared for this! I knew a question like this would come up eventually but I always thought Marshall would be here to help me answer it, but no, it has to be when I'm alone. The 'step-child'/ 'step-mom' dynamic was a difficult one to work out and I didn't want to cross any lines and word anything wrong to make Alaina sad.
"Well sweetie, the love your mum has for you and Hailie is a different kind of love. She was lucky enough to know you both from your first day, and I wish I had too. I fell in love with your dad, and then he told me he had two lovely little girls that he wanted me to meet. When I first was going to meet you I was so nervous".
"You were?" Alaina piped up. I heard the floor creak and I smiled, realising Marshall was listening behind the door.
"Very, because I wanted you and Hailie to like me, and accept me as much as your dad did". Alaina nodded and looked at me intently to continue my story. "But then I met you, and just like your dad had told me you two were the sweetest, kindest, smartest little girls I had ever met". Alaina blushed and brushed her messy hair out of her face, her eyes lighting up. "So to answer your question, yes. I love you and Hailie very very much".
"Really?"
"Really" I smiled down at her, feeling my heart swell to it's full capacity. "It's important to remember that your Mum is your Mum, but I will still always be here for you to come to when you need me. You can count on me forever okay? You and Hailie have become a special part of my heart".
"Okay Cassie" Alaina sprang up and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me excitedly. I love you" she whispered in my ear, as if it was our little secret.
A lump formed in my throat at her pure and simple love for me, there was no way I'd ever let these two girls out of my life, regardless of what could happen between me and Marshall. "Love you too. Now it is really past your bed time missy, it's time to go to sleep". I heard Marshall creep away and I tucked Alaina back in before creeping out myself, and silently shutting the door. I walked down the hall to Marshall and I's bedroom and slipped into the bathroom where Marshall was getting ready for bed. "Hey".
He placed down his aftershave and looked at me in the mirror. "Hey".
"How did I do?"
A smile tugged at his lips and he turned around to me, pulling me in his arms. "Didn't think you'd be able to hear me".
I chuckled softly and rested my head against his warm chest as he slowly swayed us, cocooning me into his body. "I hear everything".
"That was amazing baby". I peered up at him through my lashes to see he was looking down at me, his eyes full of contentment and his lips curling into a sincere smile. "I couldn't have said it better myself".
I snuggled back into his chest. "Good. I meant every word".
"I know you did. Excuse me for sounding like a corny mother fucker, but it was beautiful. I really couldn't have found a better person to spend the rest of my life with".
"You are a corny motherfucker". I giggled as he playfully pinched my ass and tugged at my ponytail.
"Man," he sighed a peaceful sigh, "everything that's happened tonight has made me realise I can't wait for the day we have our own little ones". I froze, feeling paralysed with fear. Slowly removing myself from Marshall, I instantly felt regret flood my being. This can't be happening to me. Not now, not tonight. It'd been such a perfect day and I knew it was now going to be flipped on it's head. "What?"
"Marshall..." I started, trying to find my words. "I don't...- I don't want kids".
Marshall's features contorted into a tight squeeze, his frown filling the whole bathroom. "What do you mean?"
I pulled at my hair anxiously, moving back from him so I could breathe. "I told you when we first became involved that I didn't want kids".
"That was over a year ago..."
"It hasn't changed Marshall" I whispered, dreading the outcome of this argument. "It never will. I don't want my own kids".
Marshall shook his head and gripped the counter with his hands so tightly that I was worried the bones would burst through the skin. "What about Hailie and Alaina?"
"I took them on because I love you and because they are part of you. I wouldn't change that for the world".
"You 'took them on'?" he spat, using air quotations.
"That's not what I meant" I sighed. "I'm sorry Marshall, I don't know what to tell you. I just don't want to have my own kids".
"You should want kids with me" Marshall seethed. "I thought you'd change your mind once you realized how great it is and how important it is to me". He calmed as my words finally seemed to sink into him, his voice becoming more even and less agitated. "Am I not good enough?" he choked, spluttering over his words.
"Marshall-".
"What's so fucking bad about having a kid with me?" he snapped, catching me by surprise.
"Nothing, Marshall. Nothing at all. You're a great dad. It's just not for me". The floor crumbled beneath me and I wanted nothing more than to jump in his arms, but I couldn't bring myself to.
"We can just have one kid then, we don't have to have a big family" he murmured, trying to find a way to sort this issue.
"But I don't want that".
A heavy silence seeped into the bathroom and I took a deep breath to try and get rid of it. It didn't work. The air was thick with disappointment and realization. One of us was going to have to sacrifice and give up on our dreams, it was just a matter of who. Marshall slowly rose from his daze and grabbed my hand, leading me back into the bedroom. Wordlessly Marshall pulled his t-shirt from his body and then did the same with mine. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What are you doing?"
"Shh".
He continued to remove all our clothes, neither of us speaking another word, and carried me into bed. He switched off the light and hugged me closer to him than ever before, drawing lazy circles on my back. The full effect of our argument finally hit me and I let the tears roll endlessly down my cheeks. Neither of us could be fully happy in this relationship if we didn't come to a compromise, but I felt we were both to stubborn to ever do it. Slowly I fell asleep as Marshall's ragged breathing struggled to remain calm. We silently wondered if we were thinking the same thing.
Was this the end of us?
*****
Oh shit. What ya'll think about all that?
Is anyone in the wrong here?
Or, who should compromise?