Perrie's POV
"Run faster! Run faster!"
I did as I was told and ran even faster. I smiled upon hearing my best friend's melodic giggles.
"C'mon Pez! You can do better than that!" Jade laughed on my back, tapping my shoulder to make me ran faster.
Though I was too tired, I tried so hard to fasten my movements as I love it when she laughs.
Well the girl on my back is no other than Jade Thirlwall. My best friend for ten years, though she was four years younger than me. We met each other when my family moved from South Shields to New Zealand where her family is basically living, (well, my family's moved out a few years ago seen as they want me to live independently as a college student, but yeah whatever). I was beyond ecstatic to know that she was also a Geordie so I didn't wast any time to make friends with her, and she was only five years old that time. Now I'm twenty and she's sixteen.
"Just be thankful coz you're cute." I said once I came to a halt upon noticing that we're already in front of their house. She laughed and hopped off my back.
I slumped my limp body on the pavement beneath me and rested my elbows on my knees, breathing hard to catch my breath.
She sat down next to me, rubbing my back in a comforting manner.
"Aww my poor horsey is tired. Let's get you inside, yeah?" Jade suggested, inching her face closer to me. Fuck yeah, my heart just died.
Stop it Perrie. She's young.
I grinned cheekily. "Are you seducing me, Thirlwall?"
"Stop being cocky you dipshit."
She slapped my arm playfully while laughing. I laughed along with her until it became silent and this is the moment that I love the most. I can be so loud and silent when I'm with her. It's not an awkward silence though. It's a comfortable one. Only her can make me feel like that.
I stood up from the ground and offered a hand to her. I pulled her up, and before she could even blink, she was thrown over my shoulder.
"Perrie, put me down!" I ignored her and continued walking as she repeatedly hit my back.
When she realized I wouldn't put her down, she gave up and instead, she started drawing small circles on my back.
That went on until I reached their front door. I rang the doorbell and a smiling Norma greeted me.
"Oh that bum looks good Jadey." She exclaimed, patting her ass cheek lightly. I heard Jade groan at her mum's gesture.
Norma ushered me inside and I sat myself on the couch where Norma was waiting, but not before putting my best friend down on her feet.
She settled herself on my lap, took my phone from my pocket, and began playing random games on it.
"Where did you two came from?" Norma asked with a smile.
Seeing as my graduation is only a month away, we are basically inseparable than ever, trying to spend as much time with each other. I always come in their house after school to hang out with her.
"We've been in our little hideout since this afternoon." I told her which is true. Me and Jade spent our time talking and cuddling in our little hideout near the lake just around the block.
"Oh I see. Well would you like to stay darling girl? I'll make dinner." Norma offered but I shook my head.
"It's okay mammy Norma. I don't want to bother you."
"You're such a dick. Just stay." Jade butted in, nuzzling her face in her favourite spot which is my neck.
I chuckled at her response, noticing that it was in fact her first word since we got inside.
I kissed her forehead before bringing back my attention to Norma.
"I'd love to stay."
The woman smiled and walked off.
***
*A week later*
Jade's POV
Three weeks. Three weeks left til her graduation. Three weeks til we won't see each other again (maybe). Well, she just recently received an acceptance letter from America saying she got accepted from a job offer. That was her dream. To live in America. She kept telling me when we were young that it was her dream place to live with.
I face palmed. Why do I need to fall in love with her? Not to brag but, there are so many guys around my age that were basically throwing themselves on me. But why her? She's my best friend. She's four years older but I don't care. No one knows about my feelings for her. Only my phone, my pillow, and my diary. Gawd, I'm such a suck up.
I shook my head, chuckling lightly, trying to get rid of my thoughts. Once I was sure I'm presentable enough for school, I went out of the house, bidding my mum a quick goodbye and a kiss on the cheek.
I walked towards my best friend's house seeing as we're neighbors. I rang the doorbell thrice and waited for a few minutes... Nothing! Typical Perrie.
"Pez open up!" I yelled.
Suddenly, the door bursted open. And fuckkk. Did I mention how hot she looks in the morning? Good bye Universe!
"Jadeyyyy... It's too early!" She whined, rubbing her head in annoyance.
I giggled, pushing passed her and walking inside her house.
I sat on the couch and switched the tv on. Seeing as she leaves alone, I served as her alarm clock every morning.
"Yeah I know, but I have to be in school at 8." I said, eyes not leaving the telly.
I heard a low grumble from her as she made her way to me and laid down on the couch, her head on my lap while nuzzling her nose in my abdomen. She wrapped an arm around my waist and fluttered her eyes close.
"Come on Pez. Get up." I whined but kept on running my fingers through her hair.
She didn't respond. I look down at her and noticed she had fallen asleep again.
"Such a heavy sleeper." I mumbled and kissed her forehead.
I inhaled a sharp breath, why can't you just fall in love with me Perrie? Yeah, I know, I can't force her to love me. Whatever.
I patted her head gently, trying to wake her up.
I sighed when nothing happened.
"Perrie!!!!!"
I laughed. "What the hell, Jade, that hurts!" she stood up, annoyed, hands covering her ears.
I smiled innocently, standing up and wrapping my arms around her waist and burying my face in her chest.
"I'm sorry, Pezza." I mumbled in her shirt, looking up at her while pouting. She sighed and smiled down at me.
"How can I not forgive you when you give me that look? Man I love you."
"Yeah, but only as a friend." I mumbled.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
She looked at me confusingly but decided to leave it alone and went upstairs to get dress.
I busied myself looking around the living room and my eyes caught the pictures hanging on the wall and the others were neatly placed on a table. Some were pictures of her family. Some were pictures of her, alone. But most were our pictures together, growing up. I smiled thinking about the good old times.
It didn't take long til I saw her walking down the stairs wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, a red and white flannel, the buttons were undone as she was still trying to tidy her hair. She went to the kitchen and grabbed some sandwich and stuffed it in her mouth.
She then walked towards me, pointing at her unbuttoned clothing while grinning. I rolled my eyes.
"Lazy ass." I said earning a glare from her.
I bit my lip, trying to suppress the urge to run my fingers through her firm abs. I buttoned her shirt up (with the amount of my willpower left), leaving the two buttons undone and patted her chest lightly to tell her I was through.
"Thanks, babe." I blushed.
She finally took her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. She put on a converse and wrapped her arm around my shoulder once she was done, guiding me outside and started walking towards my school as it is only a five-minute walk.
And there it goes again... the feelings. I sighed.
Why can't I just tell you, Pez?
***
*School*
I sat down at my usual spot, at the back of the class, why? Dunno, I just feel like it. Seen as it's only quarter to 8, the room is not full with students yet, just a few ones who are being a goody two shoes who don't wanna be late. Oh, says me.
The bell rang, signalling it was time for class.
The room was filled with students. I grabbed my English book as the teacher started lecturing. Am I listening? Nope. My mind is occupied by a certain blonde.
*Lunch*
I made my way to the cafeteria and grabbed my lunchbox, deciding to eat there rather than in the classroom. As I started eating, a boy named Lucas from my Math class came up to me and handed a small paper envelope together with a single rose flower.
He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he walked away, leaving without a single word spoken. I looked at the things he handed me that was placed on the table. I opened the envelope first and smiled upon reading the message and taking note of the hand written that had already imprinted in my mind for a long time.
Dear Sweet Cheeks,
I'll wait outside of your school at 4, I'm going to show you something. Be there or no biscuits. x
Ps That rose was from your mum's front yard. Don't kill me. Love you xx
~ Coolest person in the world x
I turned a deep shade of red as I reread the letter. Though it was just a small note, I appreciate the hand written that were really neat and clean like she literally took her time just to write it. I smiled at the idea of hanging out with her and can't wait to see her later.
I was broken out of my trance when Leigh Anne, my best friend (apart from Perrie), walked towards where I'm situated and took a seat in front of me, placing the tray of food she was carrying on the table.
"Hey yow Thirlwall." She greeted.
I giggled. "Hello to you too, Pinnock"
She giggled and started chewing on her food, wiggling her eyebrows at me.
"What?"
"I heard Styles is going to make a move on you." She said, winking at me.
I rolled my eyes. Harry Styles, yeah. That one boy who is always hitting on me. He's the captain of the football team, quite handsome to be honest. Not that he's bad, I just don't like him.
"Ugh. I'm not interested." I replied.
She shot a brow at me, gasping in disbelief.
"Oh my God Jade! Seriously, you have to buy new contacts. That guy is hot! If I were you, I won't miss this opportunity." Leigh exclaimed, batting her eyelashes as if she's daydreaming.
I chuckled.
"No, thank you- but no. I don't like him. And besides, I already fancy someone else." I told her while sipping on my drink.
She squealed unexpectedly, earning the attention of some of the students inside the cafeteria. I shot her a glare and she instantly clamped her hand on her mouth, mumbling a small 'sorry'.
"Okay, who's the lucky guy?"
"Gal" I corrected her.
"Oh, I didn't expect that. Well, who's that lucky 'Gal'?"
I sighed. "Perrie Edwards."
I nearly laughed at her reaction as she choked on her food.
"You mean that hot piece best friend of yours?!"
I chuckled, but a little jealous when she addressed her as hot, though she really is. But still... she's mine. Okay Jade keep dreaming.
I nodded timidly, lowering my head as my cheeks started heating up.
"Oh my God. She's hot, but to be honest, I couldn't picture you out together."
I gave her a glare. How dare you, Leigh Anne?! At least let a girl dream!
"What do you mean?" I asked inquiringly, tilting my head to the side.
"She's twenty Jade. And besides, she's graduating in a couple of months and there's no chance that you two would be together. I'm not trying to be mean but, come on, come to think of it, there's a lot of hot guys and girls at our age."
Bull's eye. Well, that was straight to the heart. I can feel my heart breaking at her words, even after she reminded me that Perrie is going to be away soon.
"That's the problem Leigh. There's a lot of guys around our age but I only want her. My brain is thinking about her 24/7. My arms are aching to hug her. My eyes are meant to look at her. My heart only beats for her." I nearly cried at that point. Seriously, just thinking about her makes me happy but at the same time sad. Happy that I get to call her as my best friend, and, sad because I know that's the only label we can have.
I looked at Leigh as she gives me a sympathetic look. She reached out and rubbed my arm comfortingly. "It's fine, Jadey. I know how it feels. And I'm sorry for telling you those words earlier, I never meant to hurt your feelings." She explained, her head lowering in shame.
I shook my head straightaway. "No, you're right. I shouldn't be like this. I could just find someone else to forget my feelings for her."
"You can't do that, Jade! That's basically pushing yourself to a more complicated situation and would hurt you even more..."
"... how about, you just tell Perrie about your feeli-"
"Hell no! I wouldn't do that!"
"Just think about it first. How would you know if she also fancies you or not? From the way she treats you, maybe, just maybe she's also inlove with you. Just give it a shot, yeah?"
I rolled my eyes at Leigh, clearly declining the offer. No, I wouldn't dream of telling her about my feelings. I'm afraid of rejection. And I don't want her to hate me.
"Whatever floats your boat, Pinncock."
"Hey! It's Pinnock you bitch!"
I laughed and she soon joined also, grabbing our bags and started walking out of the cafeteria heading to our next class.
Perrie Edwards, what have you done to me?
***
I scan the place around the school looking for that blonde beauty that has invaded my mind almost everyday.
I screamed when someone clamped their hand on my eyes behind my back, pressing their body against my small one. I was ready to punch this person's face when I smelt that familiar heavenly scent that I became fond of and addicted to.
I turned around and my heart instantly skipped a beat when I saw her standing there, wearing a wide smile on her face.
"Hey my hunny bunch sugar pie." I cringed at the name.
"What the heck, Perrie!" I said in between laughs.
She shot me a confused look. "What are you laughing at? I thought about that name all night! It's good, isn't it?" She asked, looking down at me with those fascinating baby blue eyes, pouting.
I shook my head no, chuckling lightly. I put my arm around her shoulder, trying to match her height, but I ended up tiptoeing because of the height difference. I pulled my arm back knowing I failed, and wrapped it around her waist instead, as she wrapped hers around my shoulder.
"Stop trying. You'll just end up hurting." Perrie remarked as we exited the school, oblivious to the fact that my face changed because of her words.
Is it a sign? A sign that I shouldn't tell my feelings for her?
What she said was true. I shouldn't keep doing this. I should stop my feelings. But how?
"Hey, what's wrong?" Perrie stopped and so did I as she was practically enveloping me. I shook my head lightly.
"You just dropped your arm from around my waist and you went silent. Did I say something wrong?"
I sighed and looked at her face. Shit. She's pouting.
"I... I was just thinking." I lied.
"Thinking about me, aye?" She smirked. I slapped her arm playfully, smiling.
"There! That's what I love about you. Just smile. Smiiiileeeee." She sang as she pinched both of my cheeks, making a face which made me laugh. I swatted her hands away and went behind her back. She looked at me confused.
I composed myself and wrapped my arms around her neck from behind, jumping, and wrapping my legs around her waist. I think I caught her off guard as she stumbled a little while holding up my thighs to support my weight but soon found her balance and started whining like a child.
"You should have told me! What if I fell down face first?! I can't risk ruining my gorgeous face."
"Oh shut it, Edwards."
"It's true though."
I sighed happily and leaned my head on her shoulder as she walks. "Where are you taking me anyway?"
"To my heart."
"Idiot."
Okay... okay... Breathe Jade, she was just joking, don't get your hopes up. Fuck! There's the hyperventilation. Oh please.
***
"Really? The lake?" I asked, disappointed. I thought we were going somewhere but she ended up here in our little hideout. Ugh. She should've planned more for this date... (in your wildest dream, Thirlwall). Okay, I really need to stop talking to myself.
She put me down on my feet and faced me.
"Oi, wipe that look on your face. I've got biscuits."
My face instantly lit up upon hearing biscuits. I tugged on her shirt desperately asking her where the biscuits are. She walked towards a tree while I'm following behind. That's where I noticed a small picnic basket, a guitar, and a small blanket laid on the ground probably for us to sit on.
I jumped in happiness and throw my arms around her neck when she gave me the biscuits. She laughed and hugged me back.
"Now you spoilt little girl, sit down. I want you to hear this."
I did as I was told and sat down on the blanket, she grabbed the guitar and settled herself beside me. She started strumming the instrument while closing her eyes and shit, I want to kiss her so bad.
(Little Things By One Direction, well you can tell that I'm obsessed with those guys 😍 okay, let's pretend that Pez wrote the song in this story.x)
Your hand fits in mine likes it’s made just for me
But bear this in mind it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You’ve never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
Oh my God. That voice. Her voice is so captivating. I could listen to it all day. She occasionally sings, thinking her voice isn't good. I watched how she closes her eyes while singing. I watched how she opened them while gazing back at mine. I could feel my heart beating faster each line.
I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it’s you, it’s you they add up to
I'm in love with you
And all these little things
You can’t go to bed without a cup of tea
And maybe that’s the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze in to your jeans
But you’re perfect to me
I'm falling for her even more. This fucked up feeling won't stop and I just can't help it. Even now that she's singing her heart out at me while smiling so wide. A smile from her can make up my day (as cheesy as it sounds).
I didn't even realize I was crying when she stopped playing the guitar and reached forwards to wipe the tears away. She put the guitar on the side and scooted closer towards me while cupping both of my cheeks, our faces are only an inch closer that our noses were almost touching. Shit shit shit.
She continued singing but this time, without music.
I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it’s true, it’s you, it’s you they add up to
I'm in love with you
And all these little things
She stopped. My heart is doing somersaults as she leaned in towards me even more. Her hot breath grazing my bottom lip. Her eyes fluttered close. Her hands cupping my cheeks. I closed my eyes, waiting for our lips to touch for the very first time. Is this a dream? If it is, then please don't wake me up.
"You're so beautiful Jade. You and your little things."
I waited patiently. But then, I felt a kiss on my forehead. I opened my eyes to see her staring back at me with apologizing eyes. She let go of my cheeks and turned around to face the lake.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." She whispered under her breath but enough for me to hear.
Oh my gosh, it's embarrassing.
"I-It's fine... I guess."
"So how was the song I've made?" She asked, trying to change the subject. The sudden change of her cheeks from pale to red is obviously noticeable but I assumed it was nothing.
I played with the strap of my bag nervously. "It's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote that. You're amazing, Pez." I admitted truthfully.
She looked at me, smiling. "Thank you. I wanted you to hear that before I leave."
I nodded my head, not wanting to talk about her leaving as it only makes me sad. It was a moment of silence after that. I couldn't describe the awkward tension in the atmosphere but I was really sure that I do not like it. So, I scooted closer to her and rested my head on her shoulder. I can feel her staring at me but I refused to make an eye contact. She chuckled and wrapped an arm around my waist, trying to keep me as close as possible, as if I'm going away. She kissed my head.
"I Love you, Jade."
I wish it was more than just that.
"I Love you too, Perbear."
Little did she know that Perrie meant it in a different way.
***
"Ugh, Please! Get out of my head!" I whisper-yelled knowing mam is already asleep. Well of course, everyone should really be as it was already 2 in the morning.
Me? Nah. That dumb blonde isn't even helping. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is her face leaning closer to mine. Ugh. I thought she was going to kiss me though.
"Okay, seriously I need to sleep. School tomorrow. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep... Ugh! Dang it, I give up."
I grabbed my phone and dialed a contact.
After several attempts, which is almost 20, a voice was heard from the other line, a super hot voice... wait, why is she screaming?
"Who the fuck do you think you are calling me in the middle of the night?! Do you know how precious my sleep is?! Dammit! Answer the Goddamn question and it better be good or I'll rip your fucking dick off and make you eat it whoever you are, fucking asshole! You had the nerve to call me! Fuck you! Come on! You want to fight? My fist is ready to ruin your filthy face just like how you ruined my sleep!"
Oh okay. Got it. I forgot how much she loves her sleep.
I giggled. "It's me you idiot."
I laughed when I heard a loud thud, knowing she just fell off the bed.
"Fuck! I'm so sorry Jadey. Do you need anything? Are you okay? What happe-"
"Pez, stop. I'm fine. I just can't sleep."
"Okay."
And the line disconnected. What the hell? How dare you Edwards!
I sighed, she must be really exhausted then. I buried my face in my pillow, desperately trying to get the sleep I deserve. Ugh! Please.
I was just starting to drift off when a shuffling noises came out of nowhere. I became scared. What if it's a ghost? What if it will eat me alive?!
I the blanket over my head, wrapping myself because of fear. No I'm just dreaming! Wake up, you idiot!
I started to tremble when the bed dip down. I shook. Fuck!
"Noooo! Please! Let me live! I still have to tell her I love her."
"Don't be so dramatic Jadey. Move your ass, I wanna sleep."
I sat up abruptly, but ended up going down again when she grabbed my arm and put my head on her shoulder as she wrapped a comforting arm around my body.
"I went up your window, don't be bothered asking." She spoke, still eyes closed. The light of the moon from the outside made it easier for me to study her features. I smiled.
"Thank you." I said, kissing her cheek. I heard her mumbling something but decided to leave it.
I wrapped my arm around her waist and intertwined my hand with hers, loving how it perfectly fit together like a missing puzzle. I nuzzled my nose in her neck.
"Yeah, but don't think that we're done. You'll tell me tomorrow who the hell that 'her' is." She said and kissed my head. After a few minutes of silence, I heard her snoring.
And it hit me. Yeah Jade, you're so stupid. Knowing Perrie, she wouldn't stop bugging me until I told her the truth. I have to think of a way on how to tell it to her.
I sighed and let myself drift off from her comforting embrace, leaving my problem for tomorrow and just want to savor what I have today.
I fell asleep. In the arms of the person that I love the most.
***
*Three Weeks Later*
"Come on Jade! You didn't tell me who it is!" Perrie whined, walking a bit faster to catch me.
I giggled but deep inside, I was beyond nervous. I stopped walking and faced her. We had gone shopping. I didn't want to come with her first because I don't want to see her buying everything for her trip. I don't want to see her go.
"Promise I'll tell you the day before your graduation which is tomorrow." I promised, bringing my hand up to my chest.
She pouted. "You kept on telling me that for the past three weeks. Why can't you just tell me now?" She whined like a child. Sometimes I even wonder how she gets to be older than me.
"Because... I'm not ready." She rolled her eyes but nodded nonetheless.
"Tomorrow, no more secrets." She told me. I nodded and kissed her chin making her smile and kissed my temple.
She grabbed my hand and escorted me outside. We got into her car and she started driving away without a word spoken during the entire ride.
I wish I could just tell you.
-
*Morning*
This is it. This is the day that I get to tell her how much I love her. I don't want this day to end. Because tomorrow will be her graduation and the day after tomorrow would be her flight to America. Just thinking about it brought tears in my eyes.
I looked down at the paper and saw droplets of water was dropped on it. I cursed myself for letting my tears fall. But I didn't regret falling inlove with her.
I've decided to write her a letter instead. Yeah, I know. I'm too coward to tell it to her in person. I just can't do it.
I reread the letter, it was just a small note but enough for her to understand what I truly felt for her.
Dear Perrie,
I know you'll be leaving soon. But before you go, I just want you to know that I'm inlove with you. It has started when I was just 12 and you were 16. I didn't know it would fall for something deep knowing full well that I was still so young. But I didn't care. I don't care about the age gap. I don't care about the distance once you're in America. I'll wait for you Pez. And by the time that you come back, I want to be yours and you to be mine. Please, wait for me also Perrie. I love you.
~ LOVE JADE
It was pretty much rubbish and I made myself sounded like a desperate girl asking for some love. But I could care less.
I put it in a clean, white envelope and ran outside to give it to her. I rang her doorbell twice and it didn't take long until she came out with her mouth stuffed with food.
"Ew Pez, close your mouth."
I joked, slapping her arm. She pouted and managed to finished her food without choking.
"Hello to you too. What are you here for anyway? Not to be rude of course." She asked, ushering me to go inside. I followed her inside and we sat on the couch, her arm instantly dropping at the arm rest of the sofa just behind my head. I fondled with the envelope in my hand, shakily.
With a heavy breath, I handed it to her. Earning a confused look. I lowered my head, my breathing got heavier when she started unfolding the paper. I can feel my chest tightening because of fear.
"Just read it."
She did. Her eyes skimming the paper and her eyes started to change from confused to an unexplainable look. Happiness? Shocked? Anger? I don't know. But my heart was beating so fast I'm afraid that I'll be having a panick attack.
She folded the paper back to its original position, not looking at me. She stared at a far, avoiding my pleading eyes. And this is what I dreaded the most.
She got up and walked outside the front door. My tears fell. Does this means she doesn't love me?
I composed myself and ran after her. I saw her sitting at the front porch of her house. Though noticing my presence, she didn't bother looking at my direction. I couldn't even read her eyes. I sat beside her and tried to catch her gaze.
"Pez..." I tried to reach for her hand but she pulled it away. My heart broke.
"Why me?" She asked out of nowhere. I didn't answer, too bothered wiping my tears as they started falling one by one until I was in full crying. Before, she would be there to wipe them away, but now, she preferred to watch me cry rather than wipe it dry.
"Jade, why me?"
When I didn't answer, she stood up angrily.
"Jade, you're too young! Why would you settle for a person like me? I'm too old for you. There's a lot of guys out there, Jadey."
I sobbed. That's it. I stood up. "Fuck it! That's the fucking problem Perrie! There's a lot of people around yet it had to be you! It had to be you that my heart beats for! It had to be you that I'm crying for! And it had to be you that I've fallen for."
I brought my hands to my face, sobbing uncontrollably. It went even louder when I felt a warm body embracing me in for a hug. I dug my face in her chest, holding onto her shirt for dear life.
"Sshh. I'm sorry." Perrie lifted my head up and looked into my tear-stained eyes, and that's when I noticed her crying too.
She cupped my cheeks. "I love you. I love you so much it hurts. Everyday I'm hoping I could get to tell it to you. I'm so in love with you Jade and I'll do everything just to protect you in any way I can. And this is the only way I can think of to protect your heart. You're too young for me. And I don't want you getting hurt because I'll be leaving soon."
I stepped back a bit with anger in my eyes, not believing her words.
"Bullshit! I love you and you love me! Why does it have to be so complicated? Just because I'm younger than you? Just because you're going away? Is that it? You're fucking coward, Edwards! Fuck you and your little explanation there. Do you really think that by hurting me would save my heart from being broken? I don't care if you're older! I don't care if we're miles apart. I only care about loving you, is it that hard to understand?"
My voice cracked at the end. I couldn't stand this. I couldn't bare the heartbreak.
Her tears fell. And no. I thought I was already broken enough but seeing her cry hurts even more.
"I'm sorry Jadey, I just can't wait for you."
As the rain started falling down, so does my whole world did. Her words were like daggers in my heart, repeatedly stabbing me until I was bleeding.
I turned my back on her, looking up the sky while closing my eyes, wishing that this is just a dream. I let the rain slide down my face and soak my entire body. I let it wash away the tears and the pain in my heart. But it can't. I wish it can.
Suddenly, I felt a figure hugging me from behind very tight. Our damp bodies joining together as one. The rain served as the unshed tears from our hearts while savoring the moment being in each other's arms. The moon watches how I cried and how she held onto me like her life depended on it.
I composed myself and bit my lip while crying. "Let me go."
My voice is trembling. When she didn't move her arms from me, I started screaming and thrashing around.
"Let me go! Why can't we just be together?! For fuck's sake I love you so much, Perrie! Please... Pez... Just give it a chance, please." I begged desperately, trying to free from her grasp but it only made het tighten her arms around me.
"I love you Jade. And I hope it's enough to let you know that my heart belongs to you no matter what. I love you."
Her grip started to loosen. Without looking back, I spoke with a shaky voice, "Can I ask one more favor?"
I turned around, looking at her red puffy eyes. "Can you kiss me?"
She didn't hesitate to move forward and crashed her lips on mine, cupping my cheeks with both of her hands. I gripped on her shirt tightly, deepening the kiss. My first kiss. It felt wonderful. My heart flutters, butterflies were rumbling in my stomach, my body felt weak. Her lips are heaven, I wish I could just kiss it forever.
Once air became an issue, she pulled away, resting her forehead against mine. "I love you, Jade."
"I love you too, Perrie."
And with that, I walked away completely with tears in my eyes, not turning around, knowing that if I did, I might end up running back to her and kiss her.
Broken, that's me...
***
*Five years Later*
Perrie's POV
It's been five years since I last saw her. Five years since I've kissed her. That day was the best day of my life. I had to admit that I've been coward and let her slip away from my arms. That was the stupidest thing I've ever done.
I love that girl. But I let fear and anxiety overcrowd my mind as I didn't want her to be hurt. I know it was wrong for me to do that but that's the only way I can think of to protect her heart. I didn't want her to love a person like me. I'm way older than her and I don't deserve her. She deserves better.
After that day, she didn't attend my graduation. We haven't spoke since that night. We haven't said each other's goodbyes and that's what hurts the most. I do hope that Liam, my best mate, gave her the letter I've written for her. I also asked him to look out for her and protect her at any cost. I can't bear seeing her hurt anymore. She'd had enough from me.
I moved to America and I can't say that I'm happy because I'm not, though I'm supposed to be like it. But I can't force myself to be happy if she isn't here. Home is not home without her beside me. I missed her so bad and want to hold her in my arms again, and this time, there's no letting go.
I loved my job here in America but I can't do it without her. I packed my clothes and quit my job, my boss was devastated upon knowing it, but respected my decision and gave me my last salary.
I booked a flight to New Zealand to see my love. I can't wait to see her. And after those years, my love for her had always been there, never leaving my heart.
It took me a couple of hours to reach my home. I was beyond excited. I could get to see my love again after five years of being away from her.
I called a cab and grabbed my suitcases, shoving it inside the car's trunk by the help of the driver.
I want to tell her the things I didn't get to say when we were together. I want to tell her how much I love her.
Hopefully she still loves me too.
-
I stood outside of her house. Home. I felt so home. Though I was too afraid to see her again, I repeatedly told myself not to make mistakes twice. I've already doubted my love for her before, and there's no way that I'm doing it again.
I rang the doorbell twice.
"Coming!"
Fuck, that voice. I can feel myself tearing up just by hearing her beautiful voice again.
The door opened revealing a very gorgeous looking woman wearing only a very short shorts and a loose shirt. Her hair is in a messy bun, strands of hair were dangling on her forehead making her looked hot. She's changed so much. But those eyes. Those brown eyes that were staring back at me were the ones that I've missed the most. I missed her... a lot.
"Hey... P-Perrie." She stuttered. Her eyes went from jolly to a mixture of joy, hurt, and sorrow. My heart instantly broke at the sight.
"Jade."
I barely even blinked twice when she threw her arms around me and gave me a bone-crushing hug. I was shocked at first because I thought she was going to shout or hit me but no. I returned the gesture and kissed her head multiple times while crying. I've missed this. I pour out all the feelings I've been keeping in the hug. The loneliness that I felt without her, and the love that I felt during those days that had made me even stronger.
I can feel her crying on my shoulder, her arms tightening around my neck.
"I miss you." She mumbled in my shirt while sobbing.
"I missed you too, Jade. You never know how much I've been dying to see you. You didn't even attend my graduation but I understand. It's my fault anyway."
I pulled away slightly to look at her red puffy eyes. I cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead.
"I'm sorry." I spoke out. She smiled at me. A genuine smile. A smile that shows nothing but pure happiness.
"You don't have to say sorry, Pez. And besides I should be thanking you."
I grew confused at her words.
I dropped my hands to the side, my smile fading away when another figure came into the sight. Wait... Liam?
"Perrie, you're back!" He came over to me and gave me a manly hug.
After realizing that I wasn't fond of his presence, he pulled away and stepped back beside Jade, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissed her head. What the fuck does this mean?
And then it happened...
"Pez, we're married."
That's it. My tears went down freely. I wanted to punch Liam. I wanted to grab Jade and kiss her. I wish I can. But I can't.
With all my might, I managed to force a smile.
"Oh, c-congratulations... I'm happy for you."
Without another word, I ran away from them, not bothering to look back as she started calling out my name. I ran away with tears in my eyes, not bothering to wipe them as I was too hurt to even notice. I didn't care about the odd looks people were throwing at me, I just ran.
I didn't know where I was going until my feet lead me to where my heart longed to be. The lake. Our safe place. The place where everything had started.
I walked over the tree and sat down, placing the guitar I had brought with me when I came to Jade's house, on my lap. I was planning on serenading her.
I started strumming and sang one of my favorite song. She's moved on, and worse she's married. Married to the man I trusted her with. And it hurts.
Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there
The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air
It's hard.
Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running 'round
It's funny how things never changed in this old town
So far from the stars
"Hey, Jade! I want to take you somewhere!"
"W-wait... Pez!" she yelled as I grabbed her hand and led her to the lake. Her eyes widened.
"This place is our official hideout. And from now on, I declare us as best friends."
And I wanna tell you everything the words I never got to say the first time around
And I remember everything from when we were the children playing in this fairground
Wish I was there with you now
If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
"Perrie! There's a shooting star! Did you see that?"
I chuckled and put an arm behind my head serving as my pillow as we were lying on the grass beside the lake. This fifteen year-old girl laid her head on my chest as she pointed at the sky above.
"Come on! Make a wish!" she giggled. I nodded and closed my eyes, wishing.
"What did you wish?" She asked right after I opened my eyes, her chin resting on my chest this time.
"Nope. Not gonna tell you." I teased her making her pout.
"Well, I wished that we will be best friends forever." She said and rested her head back on my chest, with me running my hands through her soft, brown locks. I kissed her head.
I wished that I could get to marry you one day.
I saw that you moved on with someone new
In the pub that we met he's got his arms around you
It's so hard
So hard
"Pez, we're married."
And I wanna tell you everything the words I never got to say the first time around
And I remember everything from when we were the children playing in this fairground
Wish I was there with you now
'Cause if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
You still make me nervous when you walk in the room
Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
And I know that it's wrong that I can't move on
But there's something 'bout you
I stopped singing. I can't do it anymore. It hurts so much. I gripped the guitar tightly and cried on it. I reached the front pocket of my jeans and took out a small red box.
"I should've told you sooner. I shouldn't have left. Dammit, I love you, Jade."
I stared at the three karat diamond ring in my hand and examined it, wishing I could have at least got on my knees and asked her to marry me. With one last kiss, I threw the ring on the lake and got up. I grabbed my guitar and ready to walk away when something caught my eyes.
The tree.
I walked closer to it and ran my fingers through the carved letters on its body.
Jade & Perrie
Best Friends Forever
I smiled at the thought of us carving it together when we were still young. But another words caught my eyes, and it made me cry even harder.
I love you, Pez. And that won't ever change. Please wait for me.
I broke down completely. This is our fate. We are not meant to be. Though I was happy during those years being with her.
I love you too, Jade. I should've waited for you
***
A/N: 'Dont cry Joni' reference! That song's bloody incredible if u happen to know it.
And if you noticed, the last part was kinda rushed because I was too sleepy. I've finished this at 2 in the morning.