English Translation by stoked_souL.
Bas' POV
I've never been this sad.
Yes, I just got the part of Wayo in the upcoming 2 Moons The Series. I should be happy because I got the lead role, but why do I still feel this way?
It wasn't that long ago when I started in the entertainment industry, and to be honest, I wasn't expecting to get more haters than supporters. Can this get any worse?
We haven't even started shooting any scenes yet, and I have been overwhelmed by a lot of negative comments and hate messages from people that don't like me.
"The Wayo role doesn't suit you."
"The audition was rigged. Newyear should've gotten the role instead."
"You're a newbie! You can't pull this off."
That's how #boycott2moonstheseries started.
This is nothing! I also received messages a lot worse than these!
What have I done to deserve this?
I'm still not used to this, so I don't know how to handle it. A lot of people hate me now especially a particular group that supports their favorite one, Newyear!
-Beep-
*1 message received from P'*
"Are you okay? Don't let it get to you, alright?"
I can't help smiling because of that. I don't understand why a simple message from him can make me feel a lot better. It seems like whatever he tells me is the only thing I should care about. The only thing that matters.
It was also him who encouraged me during the audition earlier. If it wasn't for him, I would've rejected the part of Wayo.
FLASHBACK
My name is Bas. I'm 17. I've always wanted to be an actor since I was a child. I was fortunate enough to receive a minor role in the popular TV show U-Prince The Series. Some people might think it was too small a role, but it was a big deal for me.
Mom feels so proud every time she sees me on TV no matter how short my line was or how simple my role was.
I've just gotten a message from the agency saying they would be sending new actors for the 2 Moons The Series fitting. Luckily, I was included in that batch.
Of course, we were informed that the series focuses on boys love, but it didn't bother me. I'll take any opportunity that comes my way. Anything that can help me get into the spotlight, I'll take it.
We were told to be there at 11AM tomorrow, so I still have enough time to prepare. I really take this job seriously. I want to be fully prepared when I get to the audition. I am aware of my acting ability. I am not that good yet to do an impromptu, so I need to learn the part by heart.
I decided to do some reading. I've got a copy of the books plus I did some online research, too. It took a while for me to finish.
Kit's character got my attention. I think his role fits me the best. He's short with white skin. Just like me.
Of course, I also want to get Wayo's role, the lead male, but I'm certain I won't get it. There are a lot of experienced actors who'll surely be there.
I think I have a better chance of getting Kit's role. If I try out for Wayo, I'll get a 1% chance of success, but for Kit's, there's likely 1.5% probability, so I'll take whichever is realistic.
I didn't notice it's getting late when I finished reading. I've made up my mind, and I have already created his image in my head. I can already imagine how to portray his personality tomorrow.
I make sure to put on a face mask before going to bed.
The next day
It's just 9AM, yet I am fully prepared. The agency will be sending a van to pick us up, and I need to get to the pick-up zone beforehand. I say good bye to mom and dad before leaving, and make sure I give my little sister the sweetest kiss.
It's 9:30AM when I get in the van. There are eight of us here, mostly newbies, and I know some of them already. I give everyone a wai. I take the seat next to P'Copter since it's the only available seat at the moment.
"Sawadee krap, P'"
"Dee krap Nong."
He smiles at me with those dimples so astounding that it would put the Marianas Trench to shame.
I've seen him before. He frequently auditions for pop idol since he sings and dances well.
"Nong! Which part are you trying out for?" he asks.
"P', I want to try Kit's role."
"For real? I am also interested in his role, but I want to try Wayo's and Beam's, too!"
I let out a chuckle. The roles he mentioned are those of the ones called the 'bottom' in a boys-love themed story. I can't blame him though. All the 'top' characters in the novel are described as tall. Needless to say, both he and I are only fit for the 'bottom' roles.
"P', I think Wayo's role fits you well. There's a scene where he will sing. We all know you have a good singing voice."
I remember reading that part in the novel, and I am certain he's the one for that.
"♩I'm just a common, ordinary person. I'm not pricey or valuable.♩"
He sings a line from the song 'Ordinary Guy' then laughs right after that. So he read the novel too.
To be honest, I really think he's a good singer. His voice is soothing to listen to.
I can sing as well, but I am sure he's way better.
"We can't really say for sure, Nong! We all know it's not easy to get the lead role. We will just look incompetent compared to the pioneer BL actors here in Thailand."
He has a point.
Just then, the van stops. Looks like we're picking up the last one in our group.
A tall and handsome guy gets in. I haven't seen him before. He must be new.
All the seats in front are taken, so he didn't have a choice but to sit with us at the back. He gives us a wai. We did the same thing.
"Sawadee krap, Nong!" he greets us all.
"Sawadee krap P'."
He looks like he's in a hurry catching his breath with all that sweat.
"P', are you alright? You look exhausted."
"Oh yeah, I was in a rush. I got the agency's message late."
So that's why. But no matter how tired and sweaty he appears to be, he still looks hot.
"Wait! We haven't been formally introduced yet. I've just joined the agency. My name is Tae (Té/ Tey). You all look young. I am 26."
So he's new that's why this is the first time I see him.
"P', I'm Bas, 17."
"Copter, P'. I'm 20. You can also call me Gi."
The guy next to P'Cop fidgets then goes back to sleep.
As always, Bangkok traffic never helps. We've been in the same spot for almost 30 minutes now.
Good thing P'Tae never runs out of funny stories to share. We almost forgot about how slow the van is moving. He's a nice guy and fun to be with.
"P'Tae, whose part are you auditioning for by the way?" I suddenly ask.
I think I caught him off guard.
"Ha ha ha! Honestly, I don't know exactly. I just plan to do it spontaneously."
Even though he's saying he's not prepared, he still looks cool and calm. He doesn't seem nervous. Wow! I've found my idol.
If you ask me, I think he fits the role of Ming or Forth. Handsome, tall and a little dark. Just ideal!
"P', you can try out for Ming or Forth's role. I've read the novel, and I am sure you fit either of them."
I didn't want to make it look obvious, but in actuality, I suggested that, so we can be partners in the audition later. His cool composure and determination can be a great help to me.
"Okay, I'll try. Can we just be partners later? You can be my coach since you know the novel better than I do."
"Sure!" I answer without hesitations. This is a win-win deal for both of us.
We get off the van at once when we arrive at One31 Building. It's kind of crowded.
Then it hits me! This is it. Suddenly I feel anxious. This isn't a good time to be shy.
What am I doing here? Breathe, Bas, breathe. Calm down. You haven't reached the venue yet, and you're already shaking?!
I feel my hands getting cold and numb.
Inhale. Exhale, Bas.
The location is kind of huge, so as soon as we get there, my eyes keep roaming to look for the restroom. I need some air.
In a rush to get there, I accidentally bump into a guy.
He's so tall that I have to raise my head to see who he is, and when I saw his face, it looks like there's a mark on his forehead saying 'I AM PHANA'. He fits the role perfectly.
"P', I apologize. I was in a hurry."
"Just watch where you're going next time."
I thought he would beat the hell out of me, but he didn't. It's just in his looks.
I just smile at him and head to where I am going.
"Nong, are you alright?" That's P'Tae. He followed me here.
"I'm okay, P'." I only said that, but inside me, I am still nervous.
"Are you sure? Look at you! You're so pale now!" he said then puts his arm around my shoulder to comfort me.
"Just breathe, okay?"
I don't know how to explain it, but how come his words always come out to be so reassuring?
I smile at him. I am at ease now. We walk towards the exit and head to the registration.
The crowd is overwhelming!
I recognize some of the pioneer Thai BL actors here like Bank, Gun, Ngern and a lot more.
I settled for Kit's role and P'Tae for Ming's.
The participants have to go by pairs, so we will go together. I feel more relaxed now. We will act out the scene where Kit and Ming are on a date after the competition. I believe we did a good job since the staffs gave us good remarks plus our agency manager made a thumbs-up gesture.
I'm not sure but after that, I think I see one of the staffs walking towards our manager.
Then, I am told to try out for Wayo's role and P'Tae for Forth's.
This is when I start to feel really uneasy. I just realized there is an online voting going on. Photos of those who are auditioning are uploaded on their official website, so then the fans can vote for who they think fit the roles.
Word has it Newyear has the highest number of votes at the moment, and that he is the perfect one to get Wayo's role.
Newyear has a wide fanbase. He and his boyfriend are popular online for being a gay couple, so there's no surprise at all.
I prepared myself not to expect anything to avoid disappointment.
All I know is that I did my best during the second part. I don't know who my partner was, but I am satisfied with the way it went. We did the 'rain' scene where Wayo offered Phana an umbrella.
At last it's done.
It's out of my hands now. I'll happily take Kit's role though it's not the lead. I won't mind being an extra either.
I am not in the position to be fussy because I know I am new to this. Any role will be fine.
Work is the most important thing for me right now.
It took until 7PM for the auditions to finish.
I start to panic again when they said they would announce the results soon.
Here I am reciting all kinds of litany that I remember in my head right now. Please please please let me have this one. Even a minor role, please.
The first one called is the one who gets the role of Beam.
That's P'Tee from our agency! He was the one sleeping next to P'Cop in the van earlier.
Next one is for Forth's part.
"Wow!!!!" I suddenly scream.
That's P'Tae! I am so happy for him right now. He deserves it!
This is it! I don't know if I can handle this anymore. They're to announce who gets Kit's role. I close my eyes.
"Kerdthongtavee 'Copter' Panuwat got the Kit role!"
I am having mixed feelings right now. I am happy for P'Copter, but at the same time, I feel sorry for myself. That was my last chance.
The role of Ming was also given to the one from our group. It's P'Kim. He used to play the second male lead in Part Time The Series. He was also in the van earlier, but he was seated in front.
The role of Phana was given to someone who's not from our agency. I can't hear anything anymore because I am getting more and more edgy. Only Wayo's role is left, and that gives me nothing. I feel like crying.
A part of me is expecting to get the role, but I should be more realistic.
"Pinnirat 'Bas' Suradej got the Wayo role!"
My jaw drops. Say what?
I feel like everything around me stopped for a while.
The guys from my group are all cheering for me. P'Tae even pushed me to go in front.
They took a picture of me together with the one who got the Phana role. I can't even see his face clearly because I am still overwhelmed.
All I remember is that he's tall and handsome.
I am ecstatic! I quickly grab my phone to give the great news to mom and dad. They are happy for me as well.
Our managers are talking with the producers to settle the contract signing. I think I'm going to lose my mind.
I was planning to post something on instagram to share the good news, but instead, I was shocked by numerous messages and notifications. They are all hate comments. I couldn't move. It feels like getting hit by a car or falling off a cliff. All I can do is run out of this place. I don't know what to think. I have never experienced anything like this before. Can I just cry? Do real men cry? I feel like I'm being too sensitive.
I took the time to read up on what's going on in the production and the selection process. They have released an official statement that only straight men will be cast.
That is why all of Newyear's fans are enraged.
And who's to be blamed but me.
"Nong, are you alright?" That's P'Tae. I can't remember how many times he has asked me this question the whole day.
I realized he went after me.
"P', take a look at this!"
"Shit! You're already popular!" Can you believe he can still make jokes right now?
He puts his arm around my shoulder.
"Don't let it get to you. This is just the beginning. It'll get worse once you become more and more famous."
"I know, but P', I don't even have fans yet, and I already have tons of haters."
"Calm down, okay? The important thing right now is publicity, be it good or bad, it'll make a name for you for now. You just have to prove them all wrong."
"That makes sense, P'." He has a point.
I was actually thinking of quitting while it's still early to avoid conflicts in the contract.
I let out a sigh.
Good thing he really made me feel a lot more at ease now.
"You can relax now, okay?"
"Sure, P'!"
When we got back to the venue, our manager starts giving us details about the contract signing. He looks very pleased because five out of six roles were given to us who are all from the same agency.
We headed home right after that. My eyes automatically shut once I get in the van. I must be so tired. P'Tae's tap on my shoulder wakes me up.
"Nong, wake up! I'm getting off soon."
I quickly open my eyes after hearing that.
Shit! I fell asleep on his shoulders. How embarrassing!
[Author's Note: Im so grateful to stoked_souL for making the english version of my fanfic happen. No words can express how much I'm happy to see my work on different language]
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