Sorry it took so long, but here it is haha enjoy 😊
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A couple days later...
Ethan
I stare at the almost empty glass cup in front of me.
I lift it up to my lips, lingering the cold rim on my lip before downing the rest of the heavy alcohol.
It's her birthday. Exactly three years since she left.
Since my Ana left for the afterlife.
Through all the times we talked about her death, nothing really prepared me for her departure. And even now after three years she's been gone, I sometimes still feel like she took a part of me with her. Like that part could never be filled.
Emma reminds me of Ana so much. She's small and timid, shy, but she can still be feisty if she wants to. But with Emma it's different. Ana always carried a spark in her eyes, she was so full of life.
And Emma's eyes are full of pain, heart ache and anxiety. There were moments when I thought I saw a spark in her eyes, and those are really the best parts of my days. It makes me happy to make her happy.
Ana would want me to move on, find someone to replace her, but I know I will never be able to replace Ana. I know it in my heart it's just not possible. No matter how hard I'll try, she will always be a part of me. We were childhood friends, and she was my first love. I'll never forget Ana.
Yet, no one says I can't fall in love again. In a different way than I fell in love with Ana. I will always love her. But I know I can love Emma too. And this time it's going to be different.
This time I'm going to save her. This time she won't leave me. This time I won't let her get hurt.
This time it's going to be a newer, different love.
----
I knock on Emma's front door, I didn't really text her I was coming, I just figured she would be home, she usually is, figuring it's summer.
I wanted to surprise her.
But the door is opened by her grandmother. "Hi, Mrs. Clive, I mean, Martha, I'm just here to see Emma." I say, ready to step in, but her words stop me.
"Oh, she's not at home. She at her psychiatrist session just like every Thursday at 6 pm. Didn't she tell you?" she says, confused.
I furrowed my eye brows. "No, she failed to mention that." How could she not tell me she was seeing a psychiatrist? I know she had a panic attack, but I never knew it was so serious she needed a professional help.
I wonder what happened to her. What left behind the scars? The inner and outer ones.
"Come in, she's going to be home soon, I'm going to pour us some ice tea and we'll chat and wait for her."
She invites me in and pretty soon I'm sitting at the kitchen counter with a cold glass of peach ice tea in my hands. The drink was fresh out the refrigerator and cold enough to fog up the glass, leaving my hand wet when touched it.
"So, Ethan, do you like Emma?" Martha says bluntly, turning to me, across the kitchen counter.
"Excuse me?" I chuckle, my cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
"You heard what I said. Do you like Emma? Like as in, want her to be your girlfriend."
"We've only know each other for a couple weeks-"
"So? I think that's plenty of time to know if you like someone. Come on, Ethan. I'm not blind. I see the way you look at my granddaughter. Only a blind person couldn't see it."
"Then why ask me if I like her, if you already know?" I chuckle sipping on my cold drink.
"Well, it was merely for my own confirmation. And I just wanted to hear you say it out loud." She smiles. "I hope you are serious about her, Ethan. She has been trough enough. Don't hurt her." Her eyes suddenly became full of pain, similar to what Emma's would look like a lot.
"Trust me, Martha. I will not hurt your granddaughter." I assure her and she smiles.
"Well good. If you did I'm afraid I'd have to hunt you down." she jokes, making me laugh. "I'm serious." she adds and I sigh and sip on my drink again.
----
"Grandma, I'm home!" The doors open and in rushes Emma, in a strangely good mood. Her smile is replaced with a confused look when she notices me, sitting behind the counter, sipping tea with her grandma.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" she questions, coming over and sitting down next to me and putting her bag on the counter. She smiles amused, looking between us. "Are you guys talking about me?" she asks, and grandma hands her a glass of ice tea too, before she excuses herself. Something about having a book club?
"Maybe, maybe not." I muse and Emma chuckles. I can't help but notice a spark in her eyes, almost like the one Ana would have every day. It brought me hope and a warm feeling to my chest.
"Well, what are you doing here? Apart from talking smack about me with my grandma." she jokes at me, and I face her.
"I wanted to hang out."
"How long have you been here?" she asks and I look at the clock on the wall.
"About half an hour. Your grandmother said you were at your session, so I decided to wait for you. By the way, why didn't you tell me about your psychiatrist?" I look at her worried, my voice soft, I didn't want to intrude any uninvited feelings. "You know you can talk to me any time you want, right?" I assure her when I see her hesitating and looking down at her hands, fidgeting with her fingers nervously.
Emma
I wanted to tell him all about it, I wanted to tell him what a complete bastard my father was, how he would hurt me in ways, no one should ever experience, how I felt miserable, worthless and dirty for years. How I still feel every day, if I'm having a bad day.
I wanted to tell him how I wanted to die.
But those words just never left my mouth.
"I-uh-I gotta use the bathroom." I say, feeling my breathing pick up and tears brim the corners of my eyes, as I slip from my chair and rush towards the bathroom.
I hear Ethan follow me, but I close the door in his face, leaning on it, and trying to calm my breathing. I didn't want him to hear me crying, through the door, but sobs left my lips involuntary, and I felt Ethan bumping his fist on the door, telling me to let him in.
"Let me in, Emma. I can hear you crying in there." he says and my breathing picks up so much, I'm practically wheezing for air.
"Emma! Move away from the door." he calls opening the door a little.
I move away from the door towards the sink. Ethan walks in and turns me to face him, tears are basically pouring down my face by now and he grabs me by the arms gently, forcing me to look at him.
"Hey. Hey, hey, hey, focus, breathe." he calms me, his eyes staying on mine. "Come on. Breathe." he repeats and I nod, quickly, finding it hard to focus on my breathing.
The bad thoughts just kept coming in, memories of those seemingly countless nights, I was tortured, tormented, hurt and used.
But somehow, I kept bringing back to Ethan's face, his bright hazel green eyes, reminding me to breathe, to focus and to calm down.
"See, you're doing it. In and out." he repeats, following my breathing with his own, until it's normal again.
When I finally settle down, I hug Ethan, tightly, wrapping my arms around his waist. He doesn't hesitate to hug back and it feels like an eternity before he lets me go again.
I sigh and look down, embarrassed. "I'm sorry." I mumble.
"Why are you apologizing?" he asks, confused and brings his hand up to move the hair, sticking onto my wet cheeks off my face, he wipes under my eyes, ridding of the stained tears, and I sniffle sadly. "It's not your fault." he says his hands on my face, holding it in place, as if to make me believe what he's telling me.
My hands reach up to his wrists as he holds my face and I can't help but feel insecure under his intimidating gaze, and I move away, breathing in deeply.
"How about we go somewhere? The sun is about to set at the lake, if you want to go?"
I look at myself in the mirror, my mascara running down my face and I sigh, before looking back at Ethan.
"Sure, I just need to change." I tell him and he nods, leaving the bathroom, not before hugging me.
I sigh once he leaves, and I close my eyes.
He's getting way to close to breaking down my walls.
But I can't help but feel scared he already broke them down all the way.
----
UNEDITED