"Hello, Ivy University! I'm Jason, and we are Virtual Vandals! How's everyone doing tonight?"
The lead singer is standing center stage, his closely cropped black hair glinting dully under the spotlights. His long-sleeved t-shirt has the name of his band emblazoned in jagged, neon yellow letters. A worn electric guitar is strung so comfortably over his shoulder that the instrument looks like a natural extension of his body.
All around me, the crowd erupts with energized cheers in response to his question. Jason grins approvingly, pumping his left arm up in the air in encouragement. As the shouts grow louder, a startling burst of adrenaline shoots through my veins.
Jason goes on to introduce his bandmates, but their names fail to register in my mind in the flurry of excitement. He then thanks Ivy University for hosting the concert and the audience for helping raise money for the big children's hospital in Spring Street. Finally, pressing the microphone closer to his mouth, he tips his head to the sky and thanks the 'weather gods' for a snowless day so far.
"We hope it stays that way for the rest of this amazing evening!" Jason holds up a hand and crosses his fingers as the audience hoots in agreement.
The stage is sheltered but the throng of students in the audience and the staff monitoring the event are exposed to the elements. Thankfully, there is no threat of snow, neither in the silver-gray sky nor in my weather app.
The band members start prepping for their performance, fidgeting with wires and whispering instructions to one another in hushed, serious tones. Jason steps right in front of the mic and lowers his head to his guitar. It's almost like the audience is holding its breath collectively, waiting for the huge speakers near the stage to boom with sound. And when the silence is broken by the first twang of guitar strings, frantic energy ripples through the crowd, sending everybody cheering again.
Virtual Vandals' music is an eclectic mix of electronic beats, drums, and guitars. Jason's clear, deep voice stands out perfectly as he sings about fading youth, his gaze alternating between the crowd and his guitar.
It's impossible to stand still, and I find myself nodding along to the music and bouncing on my feet like everyone else. I turn to my side to grin at Vera, and she looks up at me to do the same.
"This is amazing!" she declares loudly, standing on tiptoes to catch a glimpse of the band.
"I'm so glad Astrid and Karah gave us the tickets!" I shout back, cupping my gloved hands around my mouth so she can hear me.
"Yeah! Where are they?" Vera says as she spins in a circle to search for the two girls. But the crowd shifts constantly and the strobe lights don't rest on a spot for longer than two seconds, making it nearly impossible to find anyone.
I turn to look when Vera suddenly shouts out and starts waving her arm frantically at someone to her left. I squint in that direction, scanning the dancing strangers for our friends.
"It's Chick! I can see him!" Vera says, lowering her arm after she fails to grab his attention. She turns to me and says quickly, "Stay here, I'll be right back."
As she turns and pushes her way through the crowd, I already know that she won't keep that promise. My mouth curls down in a frown, but the disappointment is barely palpable like it too has been drowned out by the music.
My heart is pounding in my ears, boom boom boom. And as the band transitions seamlessly into their next song, I stop resisting the force of the crowd as it propels me away from my spot. I look at the people around me, loose limbs, unreserved excitement, and infectious smiles. The sheer energy in the air is turning it warm, almost too hot for my winter jacket. I reach down to unbutton it when someone collides into me from behind.
"Woah!" An unfamiliar voice calls out as a firm hand winds around my arm just in time to save me from falling over.
I whirl around, raising my eyes from the tattooed arm to the face that I recognize immediately.
"Ben!" I exclaim, staring up in wonder at his luxurious blonde hair. Flowing down to his shoulders, his messy waves are even more striking up close than in the Facebook pictures that Vera showed me.
Ben Young stares at me in confusion for a second before replying with equal enthusiasm, "Stranger!"
Laughing, I extend my hand to him. "I'm Carmen, Vera's roommate. She knows you through Chick."
He shakes my hand but points to his earlobe and says he can't hear me. Feeling awkward, I lean forward to repeat myself, louder and directly in his ear.
Ben nods and replies, "Nice to meet you."
But he says this so loudly - his eyebrows furrowed as he strains to be heard over the pounding music - that it sounds like an insult rather than a nicety. I smile anyway.
As Ben raises his left hand to run it absently through his hair, a large tattoo on his forearm catches my eye. I can see the letters 'ENA' in big black print with a thick horizontal line through the middle. The ink on the line is darker, fresher than the letters as though it was drawn more recently. The rest of the tattoo disappears into the bunched-up sleeve of his hoodie.
Intrigued, I point to his arm and blurt out, "What is that?"
"A life lesson," Ben replies, pulling his sleeve further up his arm to reveal the rest of the tattoo.
I tip my head as the name 'Elena' comes into view. A strobe light's beam skims over us for a second, throwing its harsh light on his exposed skin. The new black line is drawn over all the letters, as if to strike off the name. Written under it in smaller print are the words: Tattoos are permanent. Love is not.
I stare at the tattoo in fascination, not knowing what to say. The loud and lively concert feels like an inappropriate place to discuss the words inked on his arm. When I raise my eyes to his face, he smiles ruefully and pulls his sleeve back down.
"You owe me," Ben shouts into my ear, his smile taking a teasing turn. "My tat saved you from heartbreak."
"Who says my heart isn't broken already?"
The words tumble out of my lips without permission, and my voice catches in the end. Embarrassed by the emotional slip-up, I press my teeth down on my quivering lip.
Ben's serious, intense expression softens into a sympathetic one. I suddenly find myself fighting the urge to cry.
"I-I have to go now," I say in a rush, clearing my throat. "It was nice meeting you, Ben."
He nods, resting his hand consolingly on my shoulder for a second. "Enjoy the concert."
And with that, Ben Young walks away, his form dissolving into the crowd until he has completely disappeared from my view.
The crowd continues to push against me, and I wander further away from the stage. I keep my eyes glued to my own shoes and those of the people around me, unwilling to stumble into another familiar face.
Overhead, the sky slowly grows darker as though a drop of black paint is gradually spreading through a vast gray canvas. The sky and the music are the only indications of the time passing by.
I plant my feet to the ground just as Virtual Vandals' set comes to a close. I'm so far from the stage now that Jason and his bandmates are reduced to small, doll-like figures. The band leaves the stage to the sound of deafening cheers, waving goodbye cheerily to the audience.
The next act - two young girls who introduce themselves as Mia and Zola - walk onto the stage and promptly start setting up their instruments. I'm too far away to see their faces clearly, but I can make out their matching red dresses, black bomber jackets, and multi-hued short hair. They almost look like characters from a fantasy movie with their long floral dresses billowing in the cold wind.
Mia and Zola soon begin their performance, their melodious voices unsteady with nerves at the very beginning. But about thirty seconds in, their confidence picks up along with the song's tempo. The audience responds encouragingly to this, the bass and cheers resonating rhythmically in my heart.
Suddenly, I feel my phone vibrating in indication of a call, persistent and warm, in my jeans pocket. But the music is so loud even at this distance that I don't hear my ringtone. I fish my phone out of my pocket and lower my eyes to the screen.
Felix.
"Hello?" I shout into my phone, pressing it closer to my ear.
"Hey! Whe-" Felix's voice is drowned out by a fresh wave of exhilarated cheers from the crowd.
"I'll text you," I say in the loudest voice I can muster before I end the call.
With my phone in my hand, I start elbowing my way to the edge of the crowd, typing a message to Felix as I do so.
Extricating myself from the grasp of the masses takes longer than I expected. When I finally break free, the air around me feels frigid, a shocking contrast to the heat emanating from the vibrant activity. The music is a little quieter here, as though it's passing through a thin wall before reaching my ears.
I wrap my arms around myself, watching everyone dance, all wild laughter and out-of-sync movements. But my eyes stray from the sight in front of me when a tall figure emerges from the right.
Felix cranes his neck in search of me, jogging over when I raise my palm in acknowledgment. To my surprise, he sweeps me up in his arms the moment he reaches me. I let out a surprised laugh as my feet leave the ground, dangling inches above it.
I barely manage to say hi before Felix's lips silence mine with a kiss. Brazen and frenzied, it feels as though he is finally releasing something that he has been holding back all this while. It sends my pulse pounding, but not out of passion.
Felix breaks away moments later, cheeks flushed and eyes smiling into mine. He drapes his arm over my shoulder heavily, pulling me flush against his side.
"Come on," he says, looking more animated than I've ever seen him before. He leads me back to the crowd, grinning in a lopsided, challenging way. "Want to dance?"
❅
"Ugh," I groan as I push the unlocked dorm room door open and stumble inside.
Every move I make is monumentally strenuous, my limbs tired and stiff from all the dancing. I fumble around in the darkness for the light switch, flicking it on and nearly jumping out of my skin when I notice Vera. She's sitting cross-legged on the floor, right in the middle of the room. Her comforter is wrapped around her body, her skin pale and hair sticking out every which way.
"You scared me!" I exhale, holding a hand to my chest.
Vera lifts her gaze from the floor, her lips pressed together in a thin line. It's only when her eyes meet mine that I notice the terrifying hysteria in them. I gasp and rush to her, my calves protesting painfully at the fast movement.
"Vera? Hey, look at me. What's wrong?"
"Stop staring at me," she says in a voice so low that I almost don't hear it.
Furrowing my eyebrows, I move closer to examine her. "Are you okay?"
Vera's bloodshot gaze keeps darting around my face, the floor, my face again, her hands. I have to grab her shoulders and physically shake her, repeating my question until she finally says, "I'm okay. Just stop staring at me."
"What the hell are you on?!" I demand with undisguised horror, pushing myself to a stand to grab the half-filled water bottle off my desk. I leave it next to her on the floor. "Here, drink this."
Too exhausted to even take off my coat, I turn off the light, take off my gloves, slip my feet out of my shoes and slide into bed. The comforter is warm and soft around me, providing solace to my cold limbs. Sighing again, I rub my eyes with my index fingers and look up at the ceiling.
"Stop. Looking. At. Me." Vera speaks up again, her tone growing more annoyed with each word.
"I wasn't!" I say defensively, shifting my gaze from the ceiling to the floor. The night is so dark that even the glow of the streetlights from outside isn't enough to show me anything more than the vague outline of Vera's shoulder. "It's pitch dark in here!"
"I can feel it," she insists. I hear her comforter rustling as though she's standing up. A second later, the yellow light flickers on. It takes me a moment to adjust to the brightness. "I can feel you staring at me."
I sit up grudgingly, running my palms down the tired skin on my face. "For god's sake, Vera. What the-"
To my utter shock, Vera interrupts me by clutching her comforter to her chest and wailing, "Stop it, stop it, stop it! Fuck!"
High pitched and scared, her voice rings out across the room like an alarm.
"Shut up!" I jump out of bed in agitation, ignoring the pain shooting down my legs.
Vera's petite features are marred, rendered unrecognizable by a mask of paranoia. Fear clouds my brain at the sight of her, my attempts to shush her failing as she continues to sob.
"Please, shh." I change tack and soften my voice, reaching out to touch her face, the only part of her that isn't hidden behind the striped quilt. "Somebody's going to hear you."
When my fingers reach for her cheek, Vera recoils as though my touch is electrified. She stumbles back, landing roughly on her bed.
"Get out," she spits.
"What?"
"I said get out."
"Are you kidding me?" I scoff disbelievingly. "I'm not going anywhere, it's past midnight."
Vera raises her voice even higher still. "Get the fuck out! I can't sit here with you staring at me."
My skin prickles unpleasantly as red-hot anger replaces the fear and overrides everything else. I turn around, jamming my feet into my shoes and cursing under my breath. I storm out of the room wordlessly and slam the door with so much force that it rattles at the hinges.
It's only when I'm out of the dorm building, standing under one of the many maple trees, that the shock of the entire situation catches up with me. I press my palm to the cold bark, grasping it for support as my breath leaves me in big, loud puffs.
It takes several minutes for my breathing to slow to normalcy. When it does, I move to lean back against the tree and take in the space in front of me. The stillness in the air is a sharp contrast to the noise that filled every inch of it during the concert.
Fighting back tears, I tip my head until it touches the rough bark behind me. The adrenaline has completely drained from my system, leaving nothing but cold exhaustion and dismay behind.
In a desperate bid for warmth, I jam my hands into my coat pockets where my fingers come in contact with the slim metallic body of my phone.
Renewed by a sudden surge of hope, I unlock it and tap the contacts list. I hold my finger uncertainly over the screen for one second before dialing Liam's number.
❅❅
In case you're confused by Vera's behavior towards the end of the chapter: consumption of marijuana and some other drugs can lead to paranoia in some people. Vera's careless partying is taking a toll on her and the people around her. I do not endorse such activities as they are highly destructive and not to mention, illegal.
That being said, this was another long chapter, but I really hope you enjoyed it. Please vote, share and comment! ♡
Amethyst