Twitter: @BlairHoldenx
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Chapter Forty: What Do I Need to Know About Baby Dolls and Teddies?
My fingers flex around the doorknob, a guttural instinct telling me to just go ahead and open the door but there's another part of me, the vindictive part that wants him to suffer just a little bit more. After all, these will be memories I'll cherish in the future and use to blackmail him into buying me all the ice cream I could ever want.
"Come on Tessie." He whines on the other side. I can picture him, his powerful body hunched against the doorframe, his forehead leaning against it. His fists will probably be clenched and there might be a risk of him punching a hole through the wall.
My dad can pay for that, I'll risk it.
"I didn't mean to hit him, I swear."
Snorting, I sit down leaning against the door and pulling my knees up to my chest. Whenever I think about that moment all I feel is horrible, terrible embarrassment. Of course I'd known that lunch with Drew McQueen wouldn't exactly be a joyride, adding Cole to the mix was an even worse idea.
But stupidly I'd believed him when he said that he'd be on his best behaviour, that he'd try to keep his caveman tendencies at bay. Needless to say, things did not go according to plan.
"Were those your exact intentions when you punched him so hard he flew over the railing?" I cringe as I say those words, the image of Drew being carried on a stretcher into the back of an ambulance making me want to crawl out of my skin. Not that the guy needed an ambulance, Cole hadn't done any real damage, just some minor external wounds, nothing life threatening. But if there ever was a male drama queen it would be Drew. He'd dialled 911 faster than I could talk him out of pressing charges. So the theatrics ensured that everything got blown out way out of proportion. I wouldn't be this annoyed with Cole if the aftermath of the entire things wasn't so embarrassing.
"You know he deserved it. The guy kept talking about shit he knows nothing about." I can practically hear the fury in Cole's voice. He still hasn't managed to cool down and I'm glad that Drew's currently in the emergency room, even if he has not reason to be there. Damn, pretty boy.
"So? There were other ways to get him to stop. We were leaving, I told you that we'd leave and to wait till I got back from the bathroom. Imagine my surprise when I got back and Drew was flying like freaking Tinkerbell."
He laughs, that idiot! This is not funny, he could've been in jail had I not grovelled Drew on the ride to the hospital. Yes, I'd been the one holding the guy's hand as he moaned and complained his way to the hospital. I definitely count it as one of the most traumatising experiences of my life.
"He got worse after you left Tessie, if I hadn't shut him up at the right time you'd be coming back to a corpse." He growls
I'm terrified to even imagine that scenario. But mostly I'm scared for Cole and hope that his parents don't find out about this. He doesn't need assault charges right now, Sheriff Stone would drag him to hell and back and then some. I shudder at the thought.
Getting up, I swipe my hands on my poor blood stained white dress and unlock the door. Before I even get the opportunity to open the door, Cole is barging in and hauling me to his chest. His chin rests on my head as he crushes the life out of me.
"I'm sorry babe, I didn't want to mess this day for you."
"Don't be cute, this is exactly what you wanted." I mumble into this chest and I can actually feel the smug bastard smile. He wouldn't be smiling if he were in jail now would be. Maybe I can hold that over his head for life. He'd be my slave for all eternity. The thought of Cole as any kind of slave turns my thoughts into the wrong direction, thoughts that are highly uncomfortable with him pressed against me like this.
"You're right, I couldn't wait to get my hands on Dickhead Drew."
"Well you should've told me you wanted him for yourself. I'd let you two be happy, no need for violence buddy."
"Does the fact that you're being sarcastic mean that we're good?" He pulls back and tips my chin up to meet his eyes. I'm very tempted by those hypnotising devices he calls eyes but I stand my ground. He went too far today and it's not even Drew I care about. It's him and how prone he is to self destructing. If he'd gotten arrested...
I pull out of him arms, "What exactly did he say to you? I mean yeah he was being a jerk but what was so bad that you went all Incredible Hulk on him?"
"Please I'd be Batman."
"Don't change the topic. What.Did.He.Say?"
His expression darkens and that's when I know that Drew must have really crossed a line. I brace myself for the worst. I could call mom or Patrick and tell them to relocate him to parts of the world unknown. But just for a second, I do consider locking him up with Cole and letting my boyfriend do whatever the hell he pleases. The possessive part of me wants to hunt down and kill any person that's hurt this wonderful, amazing creature.
But this wonderful, amazing creature does have a penchant for making me a prime candidate to die young, probably because due to cardiac arrest. I do have some sense of self preservation. I can attempt to tame him, to make him see that he can't go about beating someone nearly to death. Even if the guy is a pretentious douche bag, you just don't do these things.
I grab his hand and drag him to the bed. Alex, Megan and Beth agreed to give us space but they're probably all camped out outside since the moment the two of us stepped inside. Me with my blood soaked dress and him with his bruised knuckles, we were quite the gory pair. After assuring them that the blood wasn't mine, I locked myself in. It's been around three hours since the actual incident occurred and my phone is going crazy with all the calls from my mom. If she dares say anything about Cole or something along the lines of 'I told you so', I would lose my mind. Things might get said that neither of us could take back so the better thing to do would be for me to ignore her calls. If only she'd get a clue.
"Tell me, please." We sit at the foot of the bed and I cup Cole's cheek. His knuckles have been bandaged courtesy Alex. The two know how to handle situations like these, letting me know that they've been in more than enough fights.
"It doesn't matter anymore okay? I don't even want to think about it because if I do I'll end up doing some serious damage."
"I'm pretty sure he's got security installed outside his room for a reason."
He rolls his eyes, "It wasn't that bad."
"He did look a bit like Carrie, there was so much blood." I shudder
"That's because I hit strategically, he'd freak out by seeing the amount of blood but wouldn't really be hurt you know."
"Smart decision, do you do that a lot?"
He smirks, "You really want me to answer that?"
I can almost feel a panic attack coming on at the thought of all the times Cole might have done something similar. Only in my head, the endings don't go as well as planned. All I see is him lying in a ditch somewhere, a bloody bruised mess. I'm forever the pessimist.
"How about later? Can you promise me that when you cool down you'll tell me everything?"
He sighs, flopping back down on the bed and closing his eyes. "Yeah, I promise."
Great, that buys me enough time to get Drew out of the country.
"So let me get this straight, Dickhead Drew basically attempted to get into your pants whilst your boyfriend was sitting at the table." Beth asks stopping amidst painting her nails.
The three of us are sitting at the kitchen table, all painting our nails and unwinding from a hectic day. It's not the norm for me to watch a fistfight take place live and then take a rather adventurous trip in the back of an ambulance.
Well maybe it is, mostly since Cole's come back. At least I can't complain about having a boring relationship.
"And he pretended that Cole wasn't even there? Did he want to get hit? Megan asks
I blow on my nails, pretending to ignore the anger rising inside me as I remember the meeting. Dickhead Drew is such an appropriate name for the guy. I'd gone to meet him in the hopes that he would convince my mom to not interfere with my relationship. Instead he had shown as much respect for it as she had, which was basically none. He'd barely acknowledged Cole and had flirted blatantly with me. I don't know what kind of Kool-Aid the people in New York drink but apparently they don't know what to do with boundaries when they see them. Or maybe they just tend to want to demolish them in general.
I fume silently as I remember him kissing my cheek when Cole and I had shown up. His lips had been stuck to my skin as if with semi permanent glue and I'd counted seconds till he'd back off. A kiss on the cheek is acceptable form of greeting and I'm not a complete prude but as the afternoon progressed, he made sure to touch me in some way making me highly uncomfortable. He'd drag his chair closer to mine, place his hand over mine when talking and more importantly he ignored the fact that my boyfriend was barely restraining himself from bludgeoning him to death. We didn't even talk about my mom, kind of funny that that was the point of the dinner. Instead Dickhead talked about himself, and then some.
I'd excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping that an escape route would magically appear as I pretended to re-touch my makeup but before I could tell Drew that my dog had diarrhoea he flew over the railing of the cafe we were dining in. Chaos ensued and I couldn't quite get to Cole and ask him what the hell had happened in a space of ten minutes.
"I should never have agreed to see him. My mom's vapid enough to tell that the people she hangs out with would be the same. She's probably feeling really smug right now and can't wait to point out that she was right about Cole."
"But she wasn't, he didn't do anything wrong. Hell any guy in his position would've done the same, definitely Travis." Beth glowers at me like I've made the biggest mistake ever by suggesting that Cole had flawed. Recently she's become a pretty big supporter of his and it amuses me to no end. Sometimes I think she's trying to makeup for Travis's treatment of him. That because her boyfriend would be likely to want to pummel Cole to death at times, it's up to her to compensate for that kind of behaviour. The fact that she's so in sync with my brother's life makes me feel all sorts of warm and fuzzy.
"I know that okay? I'm not blaming Cole for anything. It's just that this tendency of his to get violent scares the shit out of me. I don't want him to get into trouble and ruin his life. He's been to prison at least once since I've known him and..."
"Oh but I really wanted to see Jay get beaten up at some point. Isn't that the bright side in all of this?"
Megan looks at us expectantly and we burst out laughing, the tension dissolving easily. Maybe I need to stop stressing and just be grateful that Drew isn't pressing charges and that Cole isn't going to jail. My mother's opinion stopped mattering to me around the time she decided that being overweight made you the equivalent of a second class citizen. There's no reason why what she thinks of Cole should be of any importance.
HA!
Alex has taken Cole out to blow off some steam and by now it's pretty dark outside. We haven't really gotten an opportunity to talk since our last conversation and I don't know if he's ready to tell me what happened. A part of me is scared to think that someone Mom purposefully placed in my life could be so vile but the other part wants to know so if I ever run into the woman again I can tell her to keep her flings and their spawns far away from me.
We've decided to leave New York in a day or two, no one's not really in the mood to do the tourist thing and we've done the bar crawling. We haven't planned the next destination, it's all supposed to be spontaneous but I'm majorly stressed that this isn't what Cole and I need right now. It's been a tumultuous couple of days, we've gone from not having a relationship to going full throttle. This fight today, the meeting with my mom have put unneeded doubts into our head and now Cole feels like he's got something to hide...
"He said I was dragging you down."
Startled at the sudden sound of his voice, I sit up. I'd been lying on my back on the bed waiting for him to come back. Cole looks deliciously rumpled, hot even in his tiredness. His t-shirt is creased, his hair a mess, circles under his eyes but he's still the kind of beautiful that breaks your heart.
And now he's going to tell me what's been eating at him.
"What?"
He sighs and flops down next to me on the bed, taking my hand in his. His thumb traces circles over the back of my hand.
"Dickhead kept flirting with you which was enough to make me want tear his head off but I didn't want to ruin this thing with your mom before it really got a chance right? But he was pushing my buttons, he wanted me to fight him. Even when I punched him the first time, he had this smug look on his face like I was doing exactly what he wanted me to do."
"That asshole." I mutter, wishing now that Drew had been serially injured.
"He made sure to let me know that I was the scum of the earth and that my being would only end up with you spiralling into this pit of doom. I made sure to acquaint him with my fist, simple."
"You're editing and omitting a lot right now aren't you?"
"I can basically see the steam coming out of your ears babe, I'll spare the man whatever it is you're planning to do to him."
He's right, I'm furious. If I ever did see the guy again, I would do horrible unspeakable things to him, it would be so bad that ripping his balls off would seem like a lesser punishment.
Nobody messes with Cole.
"He wanted to get a rise out of you, my mom needed that ammunition. She'll probably paint you as this violent thug who needs anger management classes."
He chuckles, "That sounds like an accurate description. I'm glad your mom knows me so well."
I hit his arm playfully, "Shut up. it doesn't matter to me. I know who you are, I know you Cole. What my mom thinks, what anyone thinks it doesn't matter."
He cups my cheek and leans in, his lips ghosting over mine. "I love how you're so defensive when it comes to me. It's a huge turn on." He grins and presses his lips softly to mine. My breath hitches and I kiss him back, softly at first, almost revering but frantically as it progress. Until my hands are grasping fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him to me. He's cups the nape of my neck with one hand, the other still at my cheek tilting my face to give the right angle. The stress of the day fades away as we attempt to lose ourselves in each other. We kiss until my lips start to ache, until it becomes difficult to breathe and even then we pull away only to find each other's lips again. It's magical, that's what it is.
"It's so good with you." He says gruffly, now kissing my jaw. "Everything feel so much..."
"More, it feels more." I say breathlessly and as I say those words I'm filled with a certain kind of conviction. Something seems to have clicked, like a hazy picture suddenly becoming visible in high definition. Right now, at this moment I know that I'm ready.
I'm ready to take that next step with him, not just physically but with everything I've got. A part of me will always be scared of getting hurt like I'd gotten but a bigger part knows that this is the guy. The guy, who is it for me and that if ever, he's not with me any more then every man who comes after him will need to match the standards he's set.
My heartbeat skyrockets as the epiphany settles in. I want to tell him, tell him that I trust him completely and that I can now give myself to him without any fears or insecurities. But today's been eventful enough without me dropping this bomb. Besides it deserves a special occasion, preferably an occasion where we're alone.
"Hey," he asks, kissing my cheek "Where'd you go?"
I smile, blushing at the directions my thoughts had taken. Hopefully he won't be able to pick up on it. " I'm just really ridiculously happy right now. That's all."
He pulls me into his lap, cradling me in his arms. "I know the feeling."
"This has got to be the single most embarrassing moment of my life." I moan and squeeze my eyes shut. Maybe if I can imagine that I'm not in a lingerie store with my best friends pressing all kinds of skimpy underwear to my body I'll be able to get out of this alive.
"Shush, this is going to be like the most important moment in your life. You need the right attire." Beth reprimands, she's got a scrap of black lace in her hand that she seems to think will cover my chest and torso.
She's mistaken.
"Ooo, this is cute!" Now Megan throws voluminous ivory satin at me which seems like it's respectable enough until I notice the slit in the skirt that goes up to parts unknown.
Holy Crap.
Do you really need to wear these things? I didn't realise that actual women wear these things when they're about to you know...
What's the point of wearing them if they're just going to get taken off? Why not opt for comfort and simplicity then? Guys aren't really adept at dealing with the knots and clasps that are on these things. Or maybe they are.
Maybe Cole is.
Oh God, I cover my face with my hands and groan into them. I did not sign up for this when I told my best friends about my plans. Whereas I thought they'd give me an emotional meaningful speech and practical advice, they instead dragged me to Victoria's Secret, subjecting me to this mortification. I don't shop for nice lingerie, I buy the basic white cotton stuff. These things are on a whole other level, like the miracles of modern science.
"Can't I just...how important exactly is it to wear stuff like this?"
"Guys appreciate the effort, trust me." Beth winks and I cringe, "Dont say things like that. You're dating my brother remember."
"But if I'm going to be lending my expertise then you'll need to hear them. Toughen up."
I turn to Megan with pleading eyes, "You...you lend me the expertise. I can't listen to her anymore."
A flush creeps up her neck, shockingly similar to her hair. "I'm not, she's more...it's awkward to talk about it for me. But seriously you don't need to worry. If you want to skip this stuff then do it but it actually makes you feel more confident you know? When you standing sans clothes in front of a guy, you'll want to have the cutest underwear on."
"See, now this I understand. You can stop traumatising me now please."
She shrugs, holding her hands up.
The girls help me find what they think is occasion appropriate. We then stop over by the food court to refuel and my phone chirps with a text.
Cole: Lan and the guys are going to come into the city today. You won't mind if we do a guys night out?"
My heart sinks a little. It's not like tonight is supposed to be the but I did want to get a head start. Maybe practice a little, set the mood. But as soon as the thought crosses my mind I realise that I'm being extremely selfish. He doesn't really get to see a lot of his friends and I shouldn't have any problem with it. I don't have a problem with it so this a non issue.
Me: Of course not. I'll make plans with the girls, spa and shopping sounds good.
Cole: Okay babe, love you. Miss me.
Warmth spreads through me as is prone to happen around him. It reassures me that I'm doing the right thing. Suddenly the bags of excessively expensive lingerie aren't weighing down on me. In fact I'm excited, nervous but thrilled at the same time.
Me: Love you. And I always do.
"So...what do I need to know about baby dolls and teddy's?"
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Hi all!
Long time no see? Hope you all are doing wonderful <3 I think at this point I'll stop reiterating the fact that I'm a busy college student who at times has no life besides school. So all of you who respect that, I <3 you. To everyone else, guys I have literally tolerated enough rudeness to not even want to respond to it anymore. So if you scream at me going all, 'Update!!!!!' your message will be ignored, sorry but that's it.
In other news I just hit 50 million reads on this story and that's just...unconcievable. I could never, ever in my wildest dreams have thought that this story would get the kind of love that it has. You all are the bestest readers ever and I am so so thankful for all of you.
*Group Hug*
Secondly, the school year is ending which means tons of deadlines and exams. Whilst I do try my hardest to keep working on my stories, there are times when I hardly have time to sleep and eat. Come summer though, you guys can expect regular update, promise!
Book recommendation. I love Colleen Hoover, I worship her. She's is such a talented New Adult/Young Adult even Adult author. You guys must have heard about or read her books which include 'Slammed' and Hopeless. Well she has a new book out called 'Maybe Someday' that is so romantic and touching that I just kept swooning through the length of it. It's definitely emotional so be prepared to cry a little. Oh and the guy's name is Ridge.
Ridge.
Holy hot name or what?