Chapter 4: Austin
Santa Fe, New Mexico
3 Years Ago
I was born to a very abusive life. My mother, Jenna, blamed me for everything bad that happened in her life, mainly she would tell me that I was the reason that my father abandoned us. I never really understood that. How the hell was it my fault that my father abandoned us? How the hell was it my fault that he didn't find her appealing anymore, and decided to run away with a woman prettier than her? Well, my opinion never mattered because she said that it was my fault, and that was the end of the discussion.
She would abuse me, and torture me with the story of why my father abandoned us "He left because of you," she would yell from the other side of the door. "You drove him away! You were too needy, and were a fucking disappointment! I hate you! I hate your face! I hate your smile! And I hate your soul!" She would bang on the door for another thirty minutes with another twenty insults, while I laid on my bed, holding my knees, and tears going down my cheeks. I never understood why I cried. It was never the first time that she would say that to me.
While other kids had the skills of reading stories, and adding 1+1, I had the skills of running and hiding from my mother. Other kids had family night with their family, while I hid in my room, playing with socks, while my mother banged on the door after drinking a full bottle of liquor.
Every morning, I had to sneak out of the house for school, so that I would not feel the 'Wrath of Jenna'. Her usual routine was 'drink, beat on Austin's door, and then pass out on the couch'. I would always succeed in sneaking out. I had never made a noise, and was always very quiet. There was this one time, though. That one mistake I made, years ago, that is stuck in my head, till the day I die.
I had just finished my breakfast, and was heading out the door, when 'BANG!'. I looked down and was paralyzed when I realized that my backpack wasn't zipped all the way, and one of my books had fallen. I slowly pick it up, and look to the couch. I turned white. White as a ghost. My mother was sitting up, giving me the most evil look in all fucking hell. It was a look, that read 'Have you any fucking idea, what you've just done?'
It was a stare off. The only words that can describe this scene is the same words that describe, when a man is face to face with a predator, like a lion or tiger. It was a stare off, of death.
"You're gonna abandoned me the way your shithead of a father did?" The calm way that she said this sentenced made the hairs on the back of my neck stand. After realizing how much danger I was in, I bolted out the door. Knowing school was only three blocks away, I sprinted, not knowing whether she was behind me or not. I didn't care. All I cared was that I needed to reach school grounds as soon as possible. After reaching a block, I stop, and turn.
"Get back here you littleshit!" Cried my mother. She was only three yards away from me, so I fled, using all my lifetime energy on my legs. I could feel her inches from my back. I could here her legs just inches behind. I was petrified, but didn't bother to even breathe. As my mind went to survival mode, I noticed I was meters away from my school, and my teacher, Mrs. Gerrette, was just reaching the door, when she spots me.
"Hold the door!" I cried. She squinted her eyes, trying to figure out who I was.
"Please!" I continued "Hold the door!" She noticed that I was coming full speed, and moved just in time as I slid in the tile inside of the school. As I layed on the floor, crying, out of breath, and very hysterical, she put her hand on my back, trying to calm me down.
"Austin!" Mrs. Gerrette spoke. "It's alright. You're ok now. What happened?" I quickly looked, and saw that my mother was nowhere to be seen. "Austin!" Mrs. Gerrette broke my train of thought. "What happened? Why were running?"
I looked at her, and opened my mouth "I-" I stopped myself. I wanted to tell her the truth, but I knew the consequences would be bad. If I thought that my mother was bad, what would foster homes be like. What if I were put in with a family that worked on even worse abuse, or even sexual abuse. I knew I could deal with my mother, but not with any strange assholes who preyed on abused, and defenseless children. I quickly came back to earth, when I noticed Mrs. Gerrette was still waiting for an answer.
"I'm sorry to have scared you, Mrs. Gerrette," i finally answered. I kind of overreacted." She raised an eyebrow, not knowing what I meant "my neighbor's dog was after me, and it kind of got me by surprise. I am so sorry for scaring you, Mrs. Gerrette."
"Oh, sweetheart," Mrs. Gerrette said. "It's alright! You're fine now, Austin. Don't worry about it." She hugged me, as a tear went down my cheek, knowing I had just made the lamest excuse to cover up abuse at my house. "Don't worry!" She continued "You can spend as long as you want down at the nurse's office. Just until you calm down a bit, and then you can come to class" she smiled at me, and I at her, as I wiped the tear off my face.
It wasn't that bad, I guess. Well not as bad, as other incidents that had occurred in my life. But the last was pretty bad. I actually attended a party that was being hosted by a girl I had a crush on. Erin was her name, and I knew almost everything about her. It was my birthday, when I bumped into her, while I talked with Adam, my best friend. She smiled at me and gave me an invitation, knowing that it was my birthday. We decided to attend, even though I knew that my mother would not allow me.
After school, I informed my mother about the party, which, as usual, she answered with a no.
"But, mom," i said "It's my eighteenth birthday, and my friends just want to celebrate it with me." She looked at me, and bursted out laughing, as if I was making up the fact that I had friends.
"You actually think it's a party for you?" She began to calm down. "You are wortless. You are the looser talk of this town. Ain't no party going on for you." She continued to laugh.
"How can I not be a looser, when all you do is keep me prisoner in this house." I bursted out. Her smile faded. "You never think about going out. Better yet! You spend your life sucking the happiness out of my life, because yours has already faded away!"
She turned to me, and smacked me across the face. "How dare you talk to me that way!" I look at her feet, as I fell to the ground, and notice that she dropped the key to my window. I quickly pocket the key as I get up. " I'd teach you a lesson, and beat the hell outta you, but I'm tired as hell." She grabbed my arm, and pointed to my room. "March to your room, and wait for me till morning, you little shit."
I stomped to my room, and slammed my door, before locking the door, and going out the window.
After arriving, all I felt was raged. How dare she treat me this way? On MY birthday! I hated her and wanted her dead. My train of thought was interrupted by Adam.
"Dude! Where you've been? You just missed a fight". I quickly forgot about my mother and partied for the first time ever. I learned how to dance, I had my first alcoholic drink, and played truth or dare with a whole group. After midnight, only me, Adam, Erin, and a friend of hers. They bought me a cake, and made me blow out the candles. "Make a wish!" they cried as I blew the candles. I wished to have a dead mother. That night, I managed to kiss Erin, and we planned to meet again after the weekend, which I decided to spend at Adam's house, knowing that my mother had known I snuck out after we passed by, and saw the lights were on.
Adam's family received me with love and treated me like one of the family. Sadly, I knew I had to return home, since I had my stuff there. Adam decided to accompany me to the house, where I had planned to get my stuff, and leave, before having a confrontation with my mother. I walked in, but quickly turned to Adam in fear. "Don't worry, Austin," he said to me. "I'll be right here." I smiled at him, before continuing. I knew she was asleep, and wanted to keep it that way. I quickly grabbed the most important things that I needed, before going back downstairs.
I was halfway down the stairs, when I saw a frozen, and pale Adam looking into the living room, where my mother slept.
"What's the matter?" I approached him. He held a container in his hands. I quickly read it to be a container of sleeping pills, that was empty. I looked into my living room, and saw that my mother was unresponsive. That's when I realized what had just happened.
The police took my mother's body away, and let me sleep at Adam's home until they found a family member who could take me in. It wasn't until a week later that I learned my aunt Leena had won custody of me. I was confused, and pissed off that I wasn't told about any of this, until the minute ahe came to Adam's house to take me to Tennessee.
Honestly, I didn't mind the moving. What I did mind, though was the fact that my aunt Leena was still married to Robert. Although aunt Leena is kind hearted, I consider her ten times worse than my mother, mainly because she is very gullible and is in denial that her husband of six years is a child molester. He had molested a little girl two years prior to the events that occurred, and aunt Leena pretended that nothing happened.
One time when I was 9, Robert made sexual advances at me, but my aunt Leena didn't seem to care, mainly because she knew that Robert gave her a home, and someone on her side.
He walked in on me changing, when he picked up a pair of my underwear, sniffed them, and gave them to me. Their were other incidents in which he would touch my butt when I passed him, but I didn't tell anyone, mainly because I knew that they wouldn't believe me.
I knew it was a matter of time before he actually did something to me, but I couldn't accuse him after all these years. It would look pathetic. As I packed up my stuff, I began to think of a way to escape this nightmare. Then, I remembered. I still had my spare key to my house. I quickly turned to my aunt Leena, who was helping me pack, and blurted out:
"Is it alright if we spend our last night here in Santa Fe at my place?" She blinked.
"I don't know, Austin," she said. "Robert made reservations at a mot-"
"Please, aunt Lee," I begged. "It would mean alot to me, and Come on, you kind of owe me, since you didn't tell me that you were coming to take me." She hesitated, and I knew that I was getting to her. "Tell uncle Rob that I would really appreciate it, please." She smiled.
"Of course, Austin. I'll talk to Robert about it." I smiled at her, and went back to packing. I was relieved that I had won an extra night in New Mexico.
That night, after watching television, I went upstairs to brush my teeth, before bed. As I turned to go into my room, Robert blocked my way.
"I haven't got the chance to give you my condolences," Robert said. He approached me, and gave me a hug. "You're mother was always the greatest, and everyone loved her."
I managed to murmur out a 'thank you' before he looked me straight in the eyes, smiled, and said, in the creepiest voice "I know that you and I are going to get along just fine. Thank you for moving in with us". I got chills, and rushed to my room, as he joined aunt Leena downstairs. I locked my door, laid in bed, and began to cry. I couldn't believe my luck. I was being forced to move with a man who was, clearly, going to molest me. I knew that I couldn't let that happen. As my mind returned to survival mode, I noticed that I still had my bag of important belongings with me.
I waited until they went to sleep, before getting dressed, and picking up my bag. I went to the window, before looking back. My old room. It was the last time that I would see it, and I knew it. A tear went down my cheek, before I opened the window, and left.