Authors Note
Ok guys. It's Winter here. I just thought I would talk to y'all cause I don't really do that.
Sorry that this wasn't another update today, but there are two things I want to address and one of them is pretty important.
Number one:
I started a new story. But this one is like no other haha! It's called "One Of Those Crazy Boys" and it's a new ship that the parafamily doesn't appreciate for some reason: Teremy! Yes. This is Jeremy and Taylor. You see, Jaylor was already taken by the Swifties. Anyways, I was in bed and I was thinking, "Hey, nobody ships Jeremy and Taylor. I think it would be pretty hot." And BOOM. There's now a FanFiction. Y'all should check that out because I think it's my favorite story I have ever written so far honestly. ^.^
Ok so I'm guessing that the second thing I want to discuss is a lot more... Personal. As it was hard for me to update because my wattpad app kept crashing, things were very difficult for me emotionally. The month of March was a literal hell for me, and I found myself spiraling into a depression. April came and March ended. I was looking forward to it so much, but I was wrong. It started off with my Aunt in the hospital and I felt the burdens of March weighing me down once again. A reason why I wanted to tell somebody now instead of not earlier is
Well
I'll tell that in a... Story mode I guess. It's just easier for me to explain I guess. I don't want to break down in front of my family, and writing it in a story form just sort of relieves it.
Ok here is the major thing that happened to me today that made me want to tell y'all what's happening to me:
It was passing period, and Winter was headed from fifth period to sixth period. She passed several students in the quad, and felt delusional. Her head was beating hard, and it became difficult to walk: she knew it was happening again. Whenever Winter would feel self conscious, verbal abiding thoughts to herself, she would often act similar to this. She dropped her stuff down in her math class and stared blankly into space for a good five minutes. Her grades were failing, she didn't get accepted into her dream school, and all of the burdens of March and April were weighing down on her majorly. She took out a bathroom pass (along with a pencil) and ran out the door to the bathroom. She opened a stall and stepped in. She sat on the floor against the wall - luckily there wasn't a single person in the bathroom with her. She grabbed her mechanical pencil and lifted up her sleeve to revile her bare wrist. She took the pencil and began to scratch harshly on her skin. It left white and red marks that hurt bad. She would even use her sharpest nail to carve her skin. There was no blood (taking that she needed to go to class again) but she sat there and let a tear fall. This was the first time he self abused herself. She went back to her math class, and her left wrist hurt like hell. Even several hours later, Winter's left wrist still hurt, and she can still clearly see the marks she left at school.
Ok I'm done with that. It's just easier to say it like that if you understand what I'm saying. Basically I need help. Please. The past two months I've been bottling up my feelings to make my friends happy. I mean, I am not diagnosed with depression, but I just feel... Awful inside. It kind of got to the point where I was desperate to tell anybody. So I came to WattPad where I was left unknown. I just need help pretty much. It's gotten to the point where I don't tell my closest friends that I'm breaking down inside, and I'm not happy anymore. My smiles are fake and I don't have a lot of people to talk to. I just felt the need to express my feelings on here to at least somebody finally. I've been curled up in a ball in my bed with Turn It Off blasting out of my phone.
Anyways...
Just wanted to tell somebody.
I love you all very much.
The next chapter will be up tomorrow. Goodnight, HaylorDavians.
~Winter