"Giving your heart to someone; that's the scary part."
-Peyton Sawyer
4.
"First impression of me?" I ask Bellamy as we lay cuddled on the bed. Day two of being down here in the bunker and honestly it was great just being able to sleep and cuddle all day. Something I would've thought boring back on the ark is actually a lot of fun and relaxing now. We couldn't have days like this since we landed and it felt nice. I especially enjoyed it more with Bellamy by my side.
"Well before you went and opened your mouth I thought you were hot. I was actually going to make a move on you but then you just had to go and start talking." I scoff and slap his chest.
"Asshole." I groan as he just laughs.
"But you were seriously going to make a move? And you thought I would actually fall for it?"
"Like I said, I was going to but as soon as you started being so open and blunt about how you felt about me and my way of running things I quickly backed off. I knew you wouldn't go for it and also you pissed me off." He truthfully admits and I can't help but giggle into his chest.
"You were a dick. I seriously couldn't stand you."
"You know why I did things the way I did. But after awhile I could see your point on the situation, that's why I started to be a bit kinder to you." I run my finger on his bare chest.
"I remember you shielding me from that panther. It was so out of character for you and by that time I was developing some attraction towards you." I continue, "your first instinct was to protect me even though we fought a lot and didn't get along too well."
"You know I was shocked that I even did it, as much as you were a pain in my ass I liked you. You had spark and for a second I thought, how could I live down here without this girl? She's witty and although she's annoying, she's kind of fun to be around."
"Wow, you thought all that even after I had punched you?"
"Babe, I thought all of that because you punched me. You had guts, you still do. You're not afraid to do what you want or to say what you want."
"Whatever the hell we want, right?" I laugh, "one of your best lines, really."
"I thought so too." He teases and I roll my eyes.
"Okay, your turn. First impression of me."
"It's actually funny because I felt the same way. I thought you were hot but then you started trying to take over everything and I wasn't having it. Also, sleeping with all those girls, really?" I cringe just thinking about it. He slept around a lot and at first it didn't bother me but once I started to develop feelings I got jealous. Especially since I thought at times that he felt the same way about me.
"So you were jealous?"
"Bellamy, you literally slept with every girl who came down. I was disgusted at first and then jealous... half those girls are still alive and at camp..." I suddenly realize.
"Hey, they never meant anything, okay?" He tilts my chin up to look at him. I bite my lip.
"Exactly, I was scared I was going to be one of those girls when I wanted to be so much more than that to you."
"I would've never done that to you. You had already meant so much to me and even though at times we didn't get along I never wanted to hurt you. Once I started to like you I got scared because I knew it was different, you were different. I knew I wanted something real with you, that's why I had stopped sleeping around. And although I didn't know you liked me at the time I felt I would be hurting you if I continued to do what I was doing."
"I wanted to think you stopped for me but something in me told me that you could never like me in that way. I knew I was totally gone for you when I saw Raven in your tent. I was heartbroken because I thought we were finally getting somewhere. But when you told me you said no, I felt relieved."
"I said no because of you. There was no one else I wanted but you. By that time I was completely gone for you too, like I told you before I knew I loved you when we went on that day trip to look for guns. And from there my feelings for you just increased. I was scared when you walked in and saw Raven like that. For a second I thought I had actually lost you, I didn't know if you were going to believe that I said no. But you did and I knew from that point I was going to make a move at the right time because I knew you were the one. You will always be the one. My one." He places a kiss on my forehead and I smile.
"What better time to make a move then right after Murphy trying to get revenge and almost killing us both?" I joke. He laughs making his chest vibrate.
"I think we both knew at that point it had to happen already." He says.
"That was the best kiss I've ever had." I admit, my cheeks now hot.
"Really now? I had Jack beat." I roll my eyes at him bringing up Jack.
"There was never competition. I loved you, I never loved Jack. Well not like that at least."
"I know your friends with him now but I'm not exactly a fan of his still."
"Why not exactly?"
"I think he's still in love with you." I sit up and face him as I cross my legs. He sets his hand down on my thigh and rubs soothingly.
"And where do you get that crazy idea?" He gives me a pointed look.
"He jumped to your defense that day I was tied in the cave, he also helped you plot against Pike, he also enjoys looking at you when he thinks no one is looking. But I see him." He pulls me onto his chest and places a hand behind my neck and presses his lips against mine. He tugs on my lip before pulling away.
"But you're mine. Always." He states as he pulls me back down for a kiss.
"Forever, no one can come between us." I tell him.
I quickly wake up and jump out of bed after my insides started churning. I rush to the bathroom and throw up into the toilet. So far I had been lucky enough not to have any sickness since I found out I was pregnant but I guess it's back.
I groan as I puke one more time. I flush the toilet, wondering where it even leads to considering we're below ground. I shake the thought and sit down by the toilet. Throwing up takes a lot out of me.
I hear footsteps and suddenly Bellamy comes into view. He quickly sits by me and pulls me into his chest.
"Hey, what are you doing? Are you okay?" He questions as he tilts my head up to look at him.
"Just some late night sickness. It's nothing, go back to bed." I pat his thigh and he looks at me like I've grown another head.
"Why would I do that? You're sick and you need me." He pushes some of my hair behind my ear as I roll my eyes.
"I don't need you, Bellamy. I can throw up just fine by myself." I didn't mean it in a rude way. I just felt like there was nothing he could do for me in that moment. He's better off just getting some sleep.
"Who's going to hold your hair up? Who's going to rub your back? Who's going to give you kisses on the head and cuddle you? Because I can't do any of that if I'm sleeping. What kind of man would I be if I just let you suffer from something we both took part in while I go back to sleep?" He proved me wrong, there are things he could do for me.
"Marry me?" I plead. He's so perfect and I for sure would of proposed if he hadn't after that whole spiel he just gave.
"In due time, baby." He places a kiss on my head and I smile. I lay my head on his chest but my stomach interrupts again and I'm getting sick in the toilet again. Only this time Bellamy is holding my hair back and rubbing my back. It does make me feel ten times better and just knowing he's there puts me at ease.
"You're okay, you're okay." His tone is gentle as I wipe my mouth with a cloth. I somehow feel like that's the last of it and I brush my teeth as he rubs my back soothingly. Once I'm done I turn around and hug him.
"You're going to be an amazing dad." I say as I pull away. He smiles and he looks like he wants to cry.
"You're gentle and kind. You always do what you have to do in order to protect your family. I'm so happy I'm having this baby with you." God I turn into such an emotional mess late at night and especially with this pregnancy.
"Well who else would you have it with?" He teases, tears still in his eyes.
"I could think of a few people..." I joke to lighten the mood. He glares at me.
"Really? Like who?" He's trying not to show annoyance and jealously but I see right through him.
"I don't know, I tend to have a thing for men in uniform." I state referring to the fact that both Jack and Bellamy were part of the guard. Well Bellamy wasn't officially apart of it but he came down with the uniform so I clearly have a type.
"You wouldn't date any of those guys in the guard."
"I did date one of those guys in the guard." I laugh lightly.
"Don't remind me." He rolls his eyes.
"Like I said earlier, there's like five girls who you have slept who are currently back at Arcadia."
"Yeah but five of my girls is equal to one Jack."
"Your girls?" I pull away from him. Part of me is just playing and another little part of me is jealous. I know I started it but I think claiming them was a bit weird.
"You still talk to them? Still sleep with them?" I turn to walk out the bathroom and into the bedroom. That's what claiming is. You still have connection to something if you claim it. I admit I was taking this a bit too far but it was late and I was curious as to what he would say.
"I just meant that at one point I was with them." I cringe at that.
"You didn't deny my questions..." I know he hasn't slept with any of them. He knows I know that but that question was just for kicks, I was however curious if he talked to them.
"I talked to one of them before we came here, sort of. She wanted me to have a drink with her." I scowl. What the hell. Do they not think he's taken? Do they not see us around? Granted we aren't too affectionate in front of anyone besides our friends.
"More like wanted you to fuck her." Saying the words left a foul taste in my mouth. I climb into bed and he sighs and follows me back into bed. My back is against the wall as I sit and he does the same.
"You're not going to deny that is what she wanted?" I question him as I cross my arms.
"Because it's true. She asked me if after I would want to go back to her room..." I thought I was done throwing up but I think I might have to make one more trip back to the bathroom. My jealously kicks in and suddenly I'm very annoyed with this girl and a little bit with Bellamy even though he didn't do anything. Actually he did, fuck him for his hot face and his hot body.
"What did you say?"
"I said no of course. I told her I have a fiancé." I turn to look at him and something tells me he's not telling me everything.
"Yeah and what did she say to that?" I asked still annoyed.
"Babe, come on, it doesn't matter." He tries to pull me into him but I don't give in even though his shirtless chest is calling my name.
"Now I really want to know."
"You're going to get mad and I don't want you mad. We go back to camp tomorrow night, let's spend this time peacefully." He tries to reason.
"Spill it, Blake." I demand and he sighs.
"She already knew about you. She said she wouldn't tell if I didn't." I bite my lip hard. I'm actually angry right now, he was right.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her I wasn't interested and that she was being disrespectful towards you." That made me feel better but I was still seething. Is this how he feels when Jack use to try and flirt with me or talk to me? This is terrible.
"What's her name? What does she look like?" If I see her around I will say something. I'm not going to go out of my way to find her or anything but if I happen to see her just lounging in the dining hall I will not hesitate to say something.
"T, it doesn't matter." He hadn't used that nickname on me in forever and I liked it. But that wasn't important right now.
"Bellamy..." He knows I'm not going to let up until he tells me.
"I think her name is Rachel. She-" I cut him off.
"What, you don't remember moaning it?" It's unfair and so uncalled for but I can't help but get jealous thinking of him with her, when he use to sleep around. I know it's in the past but it just bums me out.
Bellamy quickly lays me flat on the bed as he hovers over me. He kisses me hard and his tongue meets mine for a few seconds before he pulls away.
"Shut up. I only love you. I only want your body. I only moan your name. I honestly don't remember names because I didn't care to back then. I know it's harsh but that's how it was, you know this. Stop being jealous. At the end of everyday I'm fucking you and moaning your name." His words turned me on and I knew he was right. There was no reason for me to be jealous, I had him and I will continue to have him everyday.
"Not at the end of everyday, I mean we didn't tonight." I knew he realized my invitation once he smirked.
"Let's change that." He places another kiss to my lips and trails them softly against my neck. He pulls away and lifts up my shirt. My top half is exposed seeing as I have my underwear on still.
"God you're beautiful." He says looking at me and then he places kisses on top of my breast. I bite my lip at the touch and I moan out as soon as he takes my nipple into his mouth and sucks. His mouth is warm yet it sends shivers down my spine as he switches to my other breast. He keeps eye contact with me as he trails open mouthed kisses down my stomach. Once he reaches my underwear he slowly pulls them off my legs and throws them off the bed. He grabs my ankles and opens my legs so that he is now between them. As he looks at me he slowly leans down and kisses the inside of my thighs. Biting playfully as he gets closer making me laugh lightly. He finally gets closer between my hips to where I can feel his hot breath on me. I whimper as he is so close but hasn't done anything.
"Bellamy." I pant and that's all it takes for me to feel his tongue. I arch my back once he starts sucking and he has to pin my hips down.
"Stay still for me, baby." He says before going right back in. His mouth feels amazing and I can already feel the marble of pleasure rolling around in my stomach just waiting for my sweet release. I grab his hair into my hands and press him further into me. He doesn't seem to mind as he continues his assault. His tongue licks and prods and his lips accompany to make the perfect suction. When I look down at him I almost come at the sight. Seeing him between my legs knowing I'm the only one he does this for and that he's all mine. As soon as his eyes meet mine I lose it and I scream out as I release.
"Bellamy!" I moan while I arch my back. He doesn't let up though and contiues what he's doing until I can't take it anymore and lift up his chin.
"I need you now." I say. He places one last kiss on my stomach before crawling back up to me.
"Anything for you." He whispers into my ear as he slowly moves his hips into mine and he enters me. My breath hitches at the intrusion, I feel so full but it's so nice. He rolls his hips against mine as I clutch onto his back. He slows down his pace and focuses more on the strength behind each thrust. I feel a whole other level of pleasure this way.
"Fuck, Bellamy." I groan and scratch at his back. He grabs my arms and pins them to my sides. He slides his hands into mine and they intertwine. In this position I'm able to meet his eyes and it sends another shock of pleasure through me seeing him in pleasure.
"I love you." He tells me before he groans again and slams harder into me. I gasp but keep his eye contact knowing it's turning him on as much as it's turning me on.
"I love you. Fuck! Yes!" I cry out as he keeps going in harder and even tries to push in further.
"You feel so good around me, baby. So good..." He trails off as he grunts when he slams into me again.
"I'm so close, Bell. So close." I manage to say through my whimpers after every jolt.
"Come on, baby. Come for me." He says with another pump and that's all it takes for me to let go.
"Fuck!" He yells as he releases as well before I can even come down from my high. He slowly falls on top of me but I don't mind the weight. I unhook our hands and wrap my arms around him and play with his hair as we both calm down. After a few minutes he finally rolls onto his side and pulls me into his chest. I wrap the sheets around our lower half seeing as it was kind of hot now.
"How does it keep getting better?" I knew what he meant. Every time we have sex it is always better than the last time. Not saying that each time wasn't good because trust me, they were amazing. But somehow it kept getting even more pleasurable and intimate.
"I want to say something cheesy like it's because our love grows stronger each day but I just think it's because sometimes we go without it for a long time." I laugh lightly at my reason.
"I'd say they're both true." He kisses my head as I grin wide.
"Well whatever it is, I like it." I place a kiss on his neck which eventually just turns into a hickey. One that people are definitely going to be able to see. I don't regret it though.
"Round two?"
A/N:
Is it hot in here or is it just me? Bellamy and Taylor are taking advantage of alone time, who wouldn't though? I love how they were emotional and then annoyed and then jealous and then horny. What a fun rollercoaster. I really enjoyed writing this chapter (not just for the sex) but for the cute jealously and soft!bellamy and mostly for the sex. I'm glad I could give you guys another chapter of them just being cute instead of constant war.
Anyways! I'm so so so so sorry for the late update. You have no idea how busy I've been these past few weeks. I went camping and then on vacation to Mexico with my family one last time before I head off to college. That's also another thing, I've been organizing my schedule for my classes and for my dorm and just all things college. It's been fun but also very stressful. You have no idea how many times I just wanted to come write this chapter but I got really busy and extremely tired. So again I'm so terribly sorry.
Please forgive me, I gave you more sex. lol but real talk please forgive me! I'm really trying to have this book and my other stuff updated while I get ready for college. I have 9 more days till I leave and it's just so much. I'm moving to Colorado for college and right now I live In Missouri so it's also a big move.
But enough of that, thank you so so so so much for all your support! I've been getting comments on all the books and they just honestly make me laugh and smile. So thank you! Also thank you for 83k reads on Queen! That's honestly just incredible and I'm so grateful you all enjoy my books. I hope to have another update soon!
Much love, xoxo.