A/N: you guys got heated about me writing a part two so I wrote another part lmao. hope you enjoy! I managed to get some wifi just to post this but for the next few days I won't be sure if I can post :(((
Warnings: Language, A N G S T, Mentions of Break-Up
You weren't sure how to feel. On one hand, you finally had the answer you needed, and you weren't confused anymore. On the other hand, you lost the best thing that's ever happened to you, and you would never have him back.
The next few weeks were absolute hell for you. Going to school was a nightmare, and losing traditions that you and Peter used to have were even worse. You couldn't go to Delmar's after school to grab a sandwich without the fear of seeing him there, or having the owner ask where he was. You didn't have weekly movie nights on Fridays, or your every-other-Sunday picnic trips.
You also lost your friend Ned, who you figured would stick with Peter because they were best friends. But downright ignoring you when you said hi to him was just screwed up.
Another person you lost was Aunt May, who you loved and adored as if she was your own Aunt. You never saw her outside of Peter's house, and you obviously weren't going to see her anymore after all this.
You were so wrong about that one.
After the fourth week since the break up, you barely left the house except for school and to get groceries when your parent couldn't. You hated going out, knowing you looked like a mess, because you felt like one.
Luckily, Queens was a big city, so if you had to go out, you rarely saw anyone. Of course, though, luck wasn't with you one weekend when you were shopping for food and you ran into May at the store.
"Y/N? Is that you?" You heard her familiar voice say behind you, making you tense.
But you turned around anyway, putting a fake smile on your face and trying desperately not to break down right there.
"Hey, May," you gave her a weak smile, slightly surprised when she stepped forward and wrapped you in a hug. She was acting like nothing had happened between you and Peter, acting like you were still, well, like you were still dating.
"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!" She grinned, but it dampened slightly when she saw how you looked. "Oh, Y/N, aren't you getting any sleep? Probably all the studying you do, I know you and Peter are just two peas in a pod that way. So how come I haven't seen you around?"
"P-Peter didn't tell you?" You stammered. She frowned, looking confused.
"Tell me what?" She questioned, tilting her head slightly in the same way Peter did when he was confused.
You bit your lip and avoided her gaze, and her face filled with understanding. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry."
She pulled you into another hug while you choked back a sob, hugging her back tightly. It was a good thing you saw her when Peter wasn't around, or it would've been pretty awkward. It still was, but just because you weren't with Peter anymore, didn't mean you didn't like May anymore.
"I'm sorry," you apologized as you pulled away from her, "I-I didn't mean to break down like that, I just-"
"It's okay," she gave you the warm smile you had missed so much, "I was wondering why Peter looked so downright miserable lately, but the boy never talks to me anymore."
Your heart skipped a beat. He was 'downright miserable'? That didn't make sense, since he was the one who dumped you. Who said he didn't love you anymore.
"Oh," was all you could think to say, May sighing at your expression.
"I don't know what's going on with you two, but I do hope you figure it out. I hate to see you both like this," she patted your arm, giving you another smile. "I gotta go, but I hope to see you sometime soon, okay?"
"Thanks, May," you mumbled, watching her turn and leave the store. You glanced around awkwardly, hoping no one witnessed that mess.
She didn't seem to realize that Peter didn't love you anymore, and there would be no fixing anything or seeing her again. You hated that you saw her, because you were trying so damn hard to get over him, and nothing seemed to be working. Seeing May just set you back so far in that process.
Taking a deep breath, you finished your shopping, realizing how late it was based on how dark it had gotten outside. You felt a chill run down your back on the walk home, like someone was watching you, but you ignored it. You jokingly wondered if maybe Spider-Man, the hero who had recently started fighting crime in Queens, would save you if you had gotten attacked.
You were almost home when you suddenly tensed, hearing a strange sound like wind and a thwip sound. Suddenly an arm wrapped around your waist and you nearly shrieked when you were lifted into the air.
You stared wide-eyed into the mask of Spider-Man, too shocked to think of how coincidental it was that you had just thought about the hero, and here he was, basically kidnapping you. You gripped tightly to him so you didn't fall while he shot another web, holding you tightly as he swung you both on top of a building.
When he set you down on the roof you stumbled out of his grip, staring at him with a mix of surprise and annoyance. Surprise because he just brought you to a rooftop when you weren't even in danger, and annoyance because now you were halfway across the city on the wrong side of town.
"What the hell," you let out a shaky laugh, running a hand through your hair and staring at Spider-Man, now sitting on the ledge of the building and staring at you. "W-Why would you do that?"
"I needed to talk to you," he said carefully, and you froze. You knew that voice. Before you could ask if it was really him, he reached up and pulled at the bottom of his mask, yanking it off completely.
You knew it was Peter before he took it off, but it was still shocking to see your ex-boyfriend's chocolate curls sticking up oddly due to the mask, and his brown eyes searching yours for a reaction.
Your hand instinctively raised as though to cup his face, but you dropped it once you realized what you were doing. It hurt to be this close to him after everything that happened, but you still wanted to wrap him in a hug.
Unsure of what to say, you just stepped back, sitting on the ledge a few feet from him, continuing to stare. What was there to say? He was Spider-Man. It didn't change anything that you wanted to change. It might've explained some odd behavior, but the rest was explained by his excuse of not loving you.
"Y/N," his voice was gentle, making you shut your eyes and shake your head, as though you could erase the memories of him saying your name like that in a loving way. "Y/N, I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry too," you muttered, not able to say anything else. He hopped off the ledge, coming closer to you but luckily not touching you in any way. You were afraid you might break down completely if he did.
"You have nothing to apologize for," he whispered, making you look up and meet his pained gaze. You took notice now of the puffiness of his eyes, and the dark circles under them, and how much paler he seemed than you remembered. "Y/N, I'm sorry I lied."
You shrugged, looking away from him again. "So, you're Spider-Man. It's not a big deal, not like we're together anymore."
He winced, "That's not what I was talking about."
Your heart skipped a beat, "Then what did you mean?"
"I meant, I'm sorry I lied when I said I didn't love you anymore."
You felt sick, half of you wanting desperately to grab onto that bit of hope he just presented you, the other half rejecting it so bad that you wanted to run, but you were stuck on a roof and there was nowhere to go.
"What?" You finally managed to ask, your voice cracking slightly. He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes during the whole explanation.
"Y/N, I still love you, so much. I had to lie to you so you wouldn't be with me anymore. I'm Spider-Man, and I have enemies who would hurt you if they knew we had a connection. If someone hurt you..." his fists clenched against his sides and he opened his eyes, now tearing up. "Y/N I can't lose you like that, I'd never ever forgive myself. I had to break up with you so you'd leave me, so you wouldn't get hurt because of me."
You were silent, but your heart was racing so fast you were almost positive he could hear it.
"Y/N, say something. Anything, please," he begged, reaching a hand out toward you, but you flinched away. Hurt crossed his expression but he dropped his hand, realizing you needed space.
"I thought you were a bad liar," was all you could think to say, blinking a few times, "You told me you didn't love me, and I believed you, Peter. It didn't feel like you were lying."
He saw what you were doing. You were trying to make sure you didn't get hurt again, by convincing yourself that he still didn't love you, even though he was saying it right to your face. You wanted to make sure you got no hope, so that you wouldn't be broken even more if he decided to leave again.
His heart practically broke when he realized this, and saw the guarded yet weak expression in your eyes.
"Y/N," he said softly, your eyes darting up to his. "I'm not lying now. I promise I'm telling you the truth. I love you. I always have, ever since we first met back in biology and you sat next to me. I loved you when we became friends and had our first date and went to homecoming," he choked up a bit, seeing the tears brimming in your eyes. "I loved you when I broke your heart. And I always will, even if you don't take me back."
You chewed on your lip, your fists tight against your sides as you considered his words. You were so scared that he would turn around and leave, even if he meant it now, what if he changed his mind later?
"Remember when you asked what my biggest fear was?" You asked timidly, finally meeting his gaze with your watery eyes. His expression dropped, because of course he remembered. He remembered promising that he would never hurt you.
"Peter, you broke that promise," your lips trembled, "How do I know you won't break this one?"
He took a deep breath, blinking tears out of his eyes too. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. But when I made that promise...things were different. I wasn't a danger to you back then, and I am now. I couldn't let anything happen to you because of who I am, and if it meant breaking that promise to keep you safe, I had to do it. I'm sorry. But I can't live without you anymore, and I won't be able to break this promise even if I wanted to. As long as you'll have me, I'll be here."
"You have to mean it," you said in a desperate tone, the tears now falling down your cheeks. "I can't go through that again, Peter. I can't."
"Neither can I," he said, reaching for you again, and this time you didn't jump away. He let his hands cup your cheeks, the masked thumbs brushing your tears away. "I mean it, Y/N."
You let your head fall against his chest, completely breaking down now as he wrapped you in a hug, so tightly that you could hardly breathe. You could tell he was crying just as much as you were, both of you so relieved that the last four weeks of hell were over.
You knew it wouldn't go back to normal, especially not with him being Spider-Man, but you knew that he wasn't lying this time. And you understood why he did what he did.
After a minute you realized he kept mumbling, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", his lips moving against your head whenever he pressed a kiss to your hair.
"It's okay," you responded tearfully, "We're okay."
"May chewed me out so badly when she saw you today," he had his eyes shut tight, "I haven't realized how bad we were both doing until she brought it up. I needed the push to come find you. I was so scared you would've moved on by now."
You felt your heart clench at his words, pulling back so you could cup his cheek, now wiping his tears away. "As if I could ever move on," you tried for a weak smile, which he returned as he leaned his forehead against yours.
"I love you," he mumbled, making your smile widen. "I don't deserve you, Y/N."
You scoffed, running a hand through his hair, "Peter, you save lives every day, I think it's me who doesn't deserve you."
"You're wrong," was all he said before he closed the distance between you two, pressing his lips to yours hesitantly, like he was still worried you might change your mind and un-forgive him.
You kissed him back and kept your hands in his hair, trying to ignore the absolute joy you had that he really did still love you, and this mess was just caused by him being Spider-Man. The thought suddenly had you freeze, pulling back from him.
"What, what's wrong?" His expression was slightly panicked.
"You're Spider-Man," your mouth opened slightly in shock. "I didn't even-the whole time you were-I don't get it-"
"Talk about a delayed reaction," he gave you a grin, making you less tense. "I can explain everything, I promise."
You nodded, smiling too, still in shock by the whole situation that had just transpired.
"You better, Spider-Boy," you gave him a smirk, watching him roll his eyes and you two fell right back into place like nothing had changed.
"God, not you too. It's Spider-Man."