Upon hearing a scary noise, most children typically scream and flee. Not Lilith. Excited by the prospect of solving a mystery, she ran after Panther, deeper and deeper into the sea of roses. The further they went, the taller the bushes became, changing from groomed shrubs to tangled bramble. Passages became narrower, turns sharper. Now and then stray canes stuck out, grabbing at Lilith's clothes. One of the thorns sliced her ankle, producing a few brilliant drops of blood. Panting, she stopped, letting Panther lick the wound clean, happy that she wore long clothes on this hot summer day. Presently, they found themselves in a cool shadow, the sun obscured by a tunnel of roses.
"How much farther?" Lilith licked her lips, gasping.
"Open your nostrils, madam." Panther lolled out his tongue. He liked calling Lilith madam when she missed something obvious. "Can't you smell it? My nose is telling me, around the corner."
"Yes, I can smell it, just can't tell the distance, my dear Watson. Whatever that thing is," Lilith said, bending to catch her breath, "it's indubitably revolting."
"Fine by me," Panther snarled. "I've been stuck all night in a cage next to Bär," he barked. "The stench that thing produces, you have no idea. He farted a million times. I thought I would faint. This"—he sniffed—"does not compare."
"Says a dog about another dog. You know, sometimes I wonder if you're a dog at all," Lilith said, perplexed.
Panther produced a noise that sounded very close to pfft! "Sometimes I wonder if you're a girl at all."
"Most certainly not. I'm a grown woman stuck in a girl's body, which is rather unfortunate."
"Are you? For a woman you lack a certain feminine nature."
"As much as you lack canine."
"I beg your pardon?"
Lilith stuck out her tongue at him.
"That's very mature," Panther growled.
They would probably engage in more banter, if not for a stray rose. It slightly brushed Lilith's face.
"What's that?" Lilith whirred around and peered at the closest flower. The flower pretended not to move.
"Your stray feminine nature?" came from below.
Lilith pretended she didn't hear and reached out. As if anticipating, a thorny stem swiftly slapped her hand, slicing it open.
"OWWWW!" Lilith jumped, sucking on the cut.
At the same time, distant voices penetrated the thick greenery: The high timbre of Daniel Bloom, the chitter of Gabby Bloom, and the low baritone of Alfred Bloom. That's right, Lilith remembered, he's showing them his new rosebushes. On first impulse she wanted to call out, but her gut instinct deduced that neither she nor Panther were supposed to be in this part of the garden and they'd get in trouble if discovered.
"Shhh!" She put a finger to her lips, eyeing Panther.
"Was I the one screaming?" he growled quietly.
They tiptoed away, walking backward, until Lilith's body pressed into an overgrown arbor. In another moment, it entwined them both with its thorny creepers, knitting them into an impenetrable cocoon. Lilith's scream died in her throat. Panther could barely whimper. They struggled to breathe as a mass of slithering leaves tried to part their lips to gag them.
Someone, or something, sighed again, this time much closer. Just when Lilith thought she would suffocate, they dropped onto a carpet of damp leaves, on the opposite side of the arbor. It stood sentinel over them, silent.
They landed on the garden's other, more sinister side. Lilith coughed, first to get rid of the leaves, then from the overwhelming stench. Thick fog obscured her vision, making the garden look like a pool of some ghastly substance. Gigantic rosebushes wove canes into dark misty tunnels.
Lilith exchanged a petrified glance with Panther.
"Congratulations, you have successfully arrived on Mars, your favorite planet," he growled.
"This is not how I would expect it to look." Lilith pulled twigs out of her hair and fixed her beret. "So the arbors must be the entrances to other side of the garden..."
More sighing reached them, now with added cries of pain.
"It's a her," Lilith said, eyes round.
"The Martian queen welcomes you." Panther nervously looked around. "You go on. I changed my mind. Giant mutant squirrels no longer interest me. I'll wait for you back at the mansion. Bye!" He made to dart away.
"Hey!" Lilith caught him by the tail. "You're not going anywhere. You agreed to investigate with me."
"Did I?" Panther whimpered.
"You gave me your word. Where is your doggy dignity?"
Lilith swiftly stood, shook off the debris, and waded forward, feeling her way in the milky haze with outstretched arms. Panther reluctantly followed.
A gush of sickly warm wind tore through the fog, and a revolting odor, moldy and ancient, made Lilith cough. Her heart pounded like an enormous bell, her stomach protested, but she couldn't turn back. She had to see what made this racket and emitted this smell.
The tunnel abruptly ended and they found themselves in a circular clearing, face to face with the mastiff. He roared and snapped so closely to Lilith that she shrieked. Panther launched into hysterical barking. Bär advanced. Lilith automatically took a step back. Her foot caught on a root and she fell, landing on a tangle of rose canes that instantly slithered over her, pinning her to the ground. Meanwhile, the whippet and the mastiff joined into a chorus of snarling, attempting to bite each other's heads off.
"Panther!" Lilith cried. "The stems trapped me. I can't move!"
"Hold on!" he barked, facing the mastiff. "Kind canine brother, I propose we resolve this matter peacefully. As soon as I get back to the mansion, I'll have a slice of very juicy steak in my possession. I'll sacrifice one half of it for your chewing pleasure, if you let us pass."
Thick saliva dripped from either side of Bär's muzzle.
"Right," said Panther. "Let's try a different approach."
"If you want to see your friend shredded alive, now is your chance!" Lilith screamed.
"Just a moment."
The mastiff crouched, ready to lunge. The whippet raised his head proudly, ready to fight to death. Lilith struggled and squirmed against the ever-tightening vines.
A piercing wail made them pause. The mastiff responded with an uncharacteristic-for-his-size frightened whining. A tall figure parted the rolling mist, and there stood Gustav, his head shiny with perspiration. He seized Bär by the scruff of the neck, produced a pair of pruning shears, and snapped the vines off Lilith in a few practiced moves.
"Raus! RAUS!" he screeched, waving his hand.
Lilith didn't need to be told twice. She instinctively knew that raus meant out. Oblivious to stinging cuts, she yanked herself up and sprinted, Panther at her feet. They ran into the tunnel, tore through the overgrown arbor, and came out the other side of the garden, twisting and turning and getting lost in the maze, until they hit a fence.
Lilith wheezed, catching her breath. Panther lolled his tongue, panting. They looked at each other, and after a brief pause resumed their quest, sprinting in the opposite direction, only to bump into the fence again, behind which Grunewald forest watched them with amusement.
"I can smell a way out, but it keeps shifting!" Lilith whined. "Can you smell it?"
"You're hurting my doggy feelings," Panther barked.
Lilith only grunted.
They ran and ran and ran. How many laps they did and how many hours passed, neither of them could tell. Dusk crept into shadows. They were nowhere close to the mansion, both hungry and exhausted, and most certainly late for dinner. Lilith plopped onto the ground, fuming. "I suppose it won't let us out until it wants to. This whole investigation idea was an ostentatious waste of time."
"And whose idea was it, may I ask?" Panther sneered.
"How very nice of you to support me," Lilith hissed. She grabbed her head and cried in dismay. "My beret! Oh, I've lost my beret!" Horror flooded her stomach. Her mother would ask for it.
Panther cleared his throat. "If I may profess my doggy opinion, apart from the terrible catastrophe of losing your beret, I don't think we wasted our time. I think we discovered more than we could hope for."
"Did we, dear Watson? And what would it be, dare I ask?" asked Lilith irritably.
"Number one, your grandfather is a creep."
Used to keeping her opinions about people to herself, Lilith merely gave him the look. She thought it impolite to gossip about people behind their backs, preferring to tell the truth to their face.
"Number two, it's not the garden that stinks, it's something that's in the garden," growled Panther.
"Not something, someone. It's a her. I'll hazard a guess that she's very old. And in pain," added Lilith.
"And she is guarded by Bär most of the day and night." Panther stuck out his chest importantly.
"How do you know?" Lilith asked, surprised.
"That hook of a guy took him out as soon as I pretended to be asleep. Why would he take a dog on a walk in the middle of the night?"
"You mean, the butler?"
"No, I mean the spine-chilling, bald-headed butler creep."
Lilith rolled her eyes. "And you're only telling me now?"
"Well, pardon me. I haven't had the chance."
"Brilliant. Now we're stuck in a garden that happens to have a certain female decomposing corpse in its depth that is perhaps sneaking in between the bushes right this very second, getting ready to devour us," Lilith hissed.
"You're right. There it is." Panther pointed his muzzle.
Lilith nearly fell over from fright, peering into the darkness.
A light flickered in the distance. "You..." She glared at the whippet, her heart drumming. "It's just a flashlight."
"Nah, it's a special squirrel-firefly crossbreed. It shines if you stare at it, so if I were you, I'd stop staring."
Lilith narrowed her eyes, which lost its desired effect in the darkness. Panther grinned, which had the full effect in the darkness, due to his exceptionally white teeth.
The light shined about fifty feet away, dancing in rhythm with the movements of its owner.
"Do you think you could kindly—"
"Way ahead of you, madam." Panther sniffed the air. "Incidentally, it's Ed. I thought teenagers generally stink, but this one smells like cookies."
"Shall we?" Fueled with hope, Lilith brushed off her clothes and at once tore in the direction of the light, Panther at her heels.
Excited yet careful, they kept their distance. Occasionally, the light would go out, as if waiting for them to catch up, and then go on again. Soon, bushes became thinner and shorter, looking more like a groomed garden as opposed to a wild overgrowth. Back porch mansion lights came into view. Lilith sprinted breathlessly toward them. One more turn and they emerged at the exact spot where they started their journey this morning. Lilith looked around for Ed. Panther quickly raised a leg at a bush and let out a fizzing line of urine.
"Panther Bloom Junior!" Lilith cried, aghast.
"LILITH!" Gabby Bloom ran down the steps, her face yellow in the electric light.
"I was beyond myself! Your father has nearly lost his mind. Where have you been? What on earth did you do? Look at you—what happened?" She turned Lilith this way and that, recording the damage through metal-rimmed glasses.
"Have you any idea what time it is? You missed dinner!" It sounded like the end of the world. To Lilith, however, it sounded like the beginning of an adventure on an otherwise boring trip, not to mention her lucky avoidance of Gwen and Daphne.
"Mom!" She caught her breath, forgetting to sound sarcastic. "Mom, you wouldn't believe what we found!" But as soon as Lilith said it, she knew it to be true. No way would her mother believe that the garden was alive, that it hid some dead crying woman-thing in its depth, and that to get there, you had to be swallowed and spit out by an overgrown arbor.
"What could you possibly find in a rose garden?" her mother inquired.
"Nothing," Lilith said, her voice falling.
She glanced at Panther. He produced an almost human sigh. Lilith could've sworn she saw Ed flash his light once more from behind the mansion, as if saying, I'm glad you found your way back. Happy to help. Your friend, Ed.
"Your friend," Lilith muttered, tasting the sound of it.
Panther growled jealously.
"Whatever happened to your beret?" Gabby asked suddenly. "I thought I saw you put it on this morning."
Lilith inhaled, exhaled, and resorted to the only defense she had against her mother's wrath. "Wild elephants ate it, Mother. They thought it was a gigantic strawberry from Mars. In fact, the garden was full of them. Elephants, not strawberries. I'm dreadfully sorry we missed dinner. We watched them do a private ballet performance for us. In tutus. Right, Panther?"
Panther raised his ears and flashed her a look that could only mean, Did you really say elephants in tutus?
"Lilith!" Gabby's lips trembled. "I've had enough of your nonsense for today. Off you go to your room." She seized her daughter's shoulder and marched her through the back door into the foyer, up the stairs, and along the dark corridor. Panther quietly trotted behind.
"We'll talk about this tomorrow. Your father is very upset, and so is your grandfather. He sent out his guests to search for you. His guests! Do you understand what that means? Those are our relatives we're talking about. What will they think—"
Lilith tuned out the rest, happy that among the confusion nobody snatched Panther away. Gabby reminded her to take the pills in the morning, shut the door, and departed.
Lilith let out her breath, without realizing she held it all this time. "Panther, we're together!" she whispered.
"May I confess that I thoroughly despise your mother?" Panther jumped onto the bed and immediately curled up. Lilith dropped next to him, not caring to change or get under the covers.
"Oh, don't mind her." As usual, Lilith held her true opinion to herself. "Mothers and daughters historically get on each other's nerves. She's just worried about me. Listen, let's talk about solving this mystery. Let's talk about...what was it I wanted to talk about? The garden's mystery? No, I think...it was the mystery's garden. No, that doesn't sound right." She mumbled some more and soon drifted off into a dreamless sleep.