3
t a c e n d a
things better left unsaid; matters to be passed over in silence
❁❁❁
Draco laid down on his bed, but as tired as he was, he couldn't seem to fall asleep. It was nothing new, as he always had trouble falling asleep ever since the summer of sixth year. Every night he tossed and turned, flipped the pillow multiple times, but none of it worked. He used to take the sleeping draught every night but stopped because it wasn't the kind of sleep he wanted to have. It was just... artificial.
He turned onto his side and sighed out of frustration. He stared into the darkness of his room, the only light coming from the moon shining through his curtains. It didn't lighten much in his room, but Draco could still see certain objects laying around.
Including that wooden box that sat on top of his nightstand.
Oddly, Draco had the urge to just look back at the silver pin he found earlier. A feeling of nostalgia, perhaps. He propped himself up on his elbow and reached his hand over to the wooden box. He opened it, and his fingers felt the silver pin instantly. Draco grabbed it, and for a short moment, he smiled a small smile at it. But that soon turned into a blank face, his eyes soon showing emptiness when he realized what it was.
But the pin still sparkled in the moonlight. It may just reside in a wooden box now, but the luster was still there.
Soon he started to sink back down into his pillow, sleep finally taking over. Everything faded to black, his breathing steadied, and he was finally asleep. The pin laid right beside him.
Later in the night, Draco woke again, feeling a small tug at his shirt sleeve. His eyelids fluttered open, only to meet another pair of eyes staring back at him. It was Scorpius.
"Scorpius? What's wrong?" Draco yawned, and his eyes flickered to a clock that stood on his drawers. It read 3 o'clock.
"I-I had a nightmare." Scorpius stuttered out, his voice frightened.
When Draco's eyes adjusted a bit, he could see the small little boy was quivering. He sat up and lifted Scorpius swiftly onto the bed beside him. The little boy immediately hugged Draco like his life depended on it, his face buried into Draco's shirt. Draco could feel his heart beating rapidly.
"It's okay... Daddy's got you, Scorpius." Draco cooed.
Scorpius stopped quivering when he felt safer but still stuttered as he spoke. "I-I'm scared."
"Don't be..." Draco laid the little boy beside him, pulling up the blankets. "I'm here, and I will always protect you. Just go to sleep, okay?"
"O-Okay." Scorpius's heart beat became more steady as he snuggled next to Draco.
Draco's eyes closed again, but his mind wandered back to a time when another sought his comfort when having a nightmare. The words he said to Scorpius, he once said them before. It was only a few years ago, in the Slytherin Common Room.
The blonde Slytherin entered the common room after patrolling the halls as a Prefect. It was nearly midnight and he (to his disappointment) didn't see anyone roaming the halls waiting for a detention. So, bored out of his mind, he went back to the dungeons.
He was tired, yes, but there was still a Charms essay that needed to be done.
Fortunately, it was a Friday night- which meant he could stay up a little later than usual. It appeared as though everyone else was asleep, and it was just Draco and the crackling fire of the Common Room. He grabbed some parchment and a Charms textbook from his bag and sat down at a table near the fireplace.
He opened the textbook to the right page before writing away at the parchment in front of him. It didn't take long until he fell asleep himself. Charms was his least favorite subject anyway, and he found it to be incredibly boring. His arms crossed on the table in front of him, and he laid his head down as everything slowly faded away.
Though, it didn't take him very long to be woken up again. He suddenly heard the sound of soft sobs, coming from the direction of the Girls' Dormitories. Whoever it was, was descending down the stairs trying to stifle her cries. Draco groggily lifted his head up to see who it was, only to see a very distressed (Y/N) Deveraux.
He got up immediately, though more out of curiosity than worry.
"Deveraux? What are you doing at this hour?" He asked, his tone insensitive. "Are you crying?"
Earlier that year they had gotten into their first serious fight, and haven't spoken in weeks. The two drifted apart from their relationship, and Draco grew colder towards her. She, however, remained quiet around him and avoided his eye contact. It was as if he didn't exist to her anymore.
They both knew ignoring each other like this wasn't making anything better and missed being together terribly. But Draco back then didn't have empathy.
This was the first time Draco has said anything to her in weeks. Usually, he glared or scoffed. But this time, it was actual words.
Not words she wanted to hear, apparently.
"Go away, Malfoy." She spat, wiping her face quickly.
Malfoy. She called him Malfoy. (Y/N) never used his surname before. Not even when they first met. Not even when they had their fight, she still called him Draco when he called her Deveraux. For her, it had always been Draco and Draco only. This was the turning point for the blonde boy, as he realized she was actually upset. She meant what she said, and didn't want Draco there with her.
But he also realized he didn't want to go away. He wanted to know what was wrong. A feeling of worry came over him, and he took a step towards her. She was holding tightly onto the rail of the stairs, trying to compose herself.
"(Y/N), what's wrong?" He asked.
"Did I stutter? I told you to go away."
"I know we fought... But I still care about you." He took another step.
"I-I won't tell you! Just go to bed... please." She was pleading with him now, which only worried Draco even more. "Why do you even care all of a sudden? You ignored me all these weeks..."
"I was giving us space. We needed it, but I miss you now. I know you miss me too." Draco said, trying to look her in the eyes, but her gaze remained turned away.
"I have to appear in the middle of the night crying for you to realize you miss me?" More tears appeared to roll down her cheeks.
"No, that's not what I meant," Draco replied, looking down with a feeling of guilt. He hadn't realized how far they've actually grown apart. "Don't cry, please. Tell me what's wrong."
She seemed to hear the guilt in his voice for not talking to her, and her face softened. She turned to look at him, trying to search his eyes to see if he was faking his worry.
But he wasn't. He was genuinely concerned.
She took a deep breath and sighed. "I don't want you to laugh at me."
"I would never laugh at you, whether we are fighting or not." He was close enough now to take her hands in his.
"I-I had a nightmare." She finally said, but shook herself away from his grip and stepped back. "It's silly, really- I know."
Draco didn't laugh. He didn't even think it was funny in any way. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into a hug, "Don't worry, (Y/N)..."
"I just get scared and I-I don't know what to do!" She was sobbing now, "And I-I know it's just a dream but it feels so real!"
He pulled away and lifted her chin up with his finger so that she was looking into his gray eyes again. "Don't be scared. I'm here and I will always protect you."
She half-smiled and whispered, "Please don't leave me ever again."
"Never."
Draco wondered how many promises he broke.
❁
Draco woke to the blinding streaks of sunlight penetrating the windows. He rose carefully, trying to not wake the sleeping Scorpius next to him. Slowly and reluctantly, he drags himself out of bed and stumbles out of the room a bit as the drowsiness is still there.
But he slowly becomes more woken up as he walks his way to the dining hall. Just like the day before, his mother and breakfast were already at the table.
"Good morning, Draco." Narcissa greeted, taking a sip of tea in one hand and writing on a piece of parchment with the other.
"Good morning, mother," Draco replied, sitting down in the seat across from her at the long table.
"I forgot to tell you about who I ran into yesterday at the Ministry!" She beamed, excitedly looking at her son.
"Who did you run into?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Greengrass!" She clasped her hands together as if it was the best news in the world.
Draco, however, rose a brow and gave his mother a strange look. "Okay? What is it about them?"
"They're looking for a suitor for their daughter, Ast-"
"No." Draco immediately cut her off and picked up a fork to eat his breakfast.
"Oh, but why not?" Narcissa frowned. "She is a pureblood, her family is very well off..."
Draco took a deep breath. "Mother, I have a job, a child, and I-"
"You what, Draco?" She questioned, her tone harsher.
"I... I can't marry someone else, mother." Draco said, an image of (Y/N) coming to mind.
"It's been years, Draco!" His mother was now very upset. "Years. We don't even know what that girl-"
"She's not just some girl, mother. I would like it better if you didn't speak of her like that."
"Okay, but..." Narcissa sighed and closed her eyes to calm down. "What are you going to tell Scorpius when he starts to question where his mother is?"
Draco dropped his fork, causing a loud clanking to sound. "Mother, hush. He might be awake soon-"
"Don't tell me to be quiet, Draco. We both know this matter needs to be handled."
"No, mother. Not now." Draco huffed. "Not ever."
"You're afraid, Draco," Narcissa said, looking intently at him. "You're afraid of what he will think of you."
"And what is your solution?" Draco's voice was rising. "To marry someone? Someone I don't even care about? What would she think when she finds out I have a child?"
"Draco, it'll just help you move on. I know you miss her every day, but she doesn't even remember." Narcissa replied, those last words stung Draco. "I think you should forget, too."
"I made a promise to her, and I am not breaking it this time like I did before." Draco shook his head. "However long it takes."