SeokJin's POV
"SeokJin," he said as he turned to me once we entered the practice room. "Yes?" I nervously said, "About practice," he looked at me straight in the eyes,
"You need more of it"
What?
"..Hyung.." I dont know what to say. Am I not giving enough effort? "Hyung, I dont know...---" "You heard me, SeokJin, I know you idols have hard times being an idol and whatever but we managers have hard times too when we see the group go through some, especially when its just because of one member" "Hyung.. So, what are you trying to say...?" I wanted to hear it straight. ".. Im saying you should work harder for the other members. Last time, we let it slide when you kept cracking your voice. Now we cant just let it be, You need to try harder"
I am trying my best. I have been trying my best. Why is it never enough? Just when Im so confident about something, It always ends up being wrong.
But f**k, this is what I wanted, I asked him to say it to my face, didnt I? I shouldnt get so hurt. Its my fault, I do need to try harder. Hyung is just saying the truth. Who am I to get offended?
I nodded and stared straight down. I wasnt looking, but I could feel his cold gaze towards me. He tapped my head and motioned for me to get out. I obeyed and once I got to the steps in front of the entrance of the building, I sat down.
I sat there for a while. I was being concious of Hyung coming out of the building because if he sees me he'd probably think Im being dramatic over what he told me, but the truth is that Im waiting to see if the driver would come back to get me. When a couple hours have passed and he still hasnt come, then Id be left with no choice. Id have to find my way home.
As I sat there waiting for the hours to pass by, I thought about what Hyung had just told me. Is there really something I need to improve on? Maybe what Hyung means by 'improving' he means I should improve my immune system. Well, the voice cracks and stumbles, Its all because Im sick. And speaking of which, I just remembered that Im sick right now as I sit here in front of the building while its raining. My head is still light, but I didnt notice until now because it feels like Ive gotten used to it. As if my head has been like this since I was born.
I was thinking when I realized its been a while already. I checked my phone and, to my surprise, its been 2 hours! Ive been sitting here for so long. I turned around and saw that the building looked darker than usual. It wasnt completely closed, but most of the offices were already dark.
The driver really didnt come back.
I should find my way home.