(Happy New Years everyone! Enjoy!)
I WAS BORN in Rome.
That is probably why after all of these years I still feel a connection with it. It is my birthplace and you cannot forget something as important as that. Even if I hadn't called it home in ages.
My father grew up in Rome and found love in Rome. It is even more special to him.
Perhaps that is why when life got unbearable in Buenos Aires we decided to leave and retreat to our birthplace. The beauty of Rome is calming and it is like a kind of heaven.
I knew that my destination was Rome as soon as I went onto the airline website. I did not want to be alone but I also wanted to leave everything behind and give myself a fresh start.
My father was here and he would always have my heart. Home is where the heart is.
As I stepped off of the plane I was filled with a mixture of emotions. I was still melancholy after the ordeal with Leon. I was also fearful about starting a new life in Rome after all I had acheved in Buenos Aires. But I was also excited to be with my father again and to be a part of his life.
After collecting my luggage my father was waiting for me. He looked different. Despite being older than the last time I saw him he looked younger even with his grey hair. I could tell by his face that he was happier, he looked relaxed. Moving was clearly a good choice for him.
I let go of my bag as he wraps me up in his arms. I bury my face into his chest. I hadn't even noticed that I started to cry until he had to pull away and I saw the wet stain on his shirt.
"Fran, what's wrong?" He asks with sincere concern, wiping my tears away with his thumb.
I tell him later and he nods pressing a kiss on my forehead. He grabs my suitcase and wraps his arm around my shoulder in a side hug.
"I am so happy you are here," He tells me with a warm smile.
"I missed you," I whisper and he kisses my hair.
He lived in a modest double storey house. It was white on the inside which had always been his favourite colour. There were a few pictures on the wall, all of them featuring me. There were two bathrooms and three bedrooms, ready for my visit.
"Is this temporary?" He asks me. I bite my lip as I think about it for a moment.
Would I be ready to go back after everything that happened? I had trusted Leon despite my better judgement and it resulted in the shattering of my heart. I had also believed that Ludmila, as my best friend, would never want to see me hurt but I guess I was wrong.
I needed to start over. Even if it meant starting from the bottom for my career, finding a new hobby and finding new friends.
"No, it is permanent," I say firmly. He has trouble containing his smile.
I told him everything. Once he made me a cup of tea he demanded to know what spurred this life changing decision of mine. He wanted to know why Leon wasn't with me or at least Ludmila. I couldn't lie to him, and besides I didn't need to.
Finally telling somebody seemed to give me a bit of closure. It allowed to me finally accept what happened even if I was totally dejected by it. I had to learn to let go of what happened and leave it in the past.
Where it belongs.
And that was the start of my new life.
Four years ago.
It went pretty well considering the circumstances. I got a new number and only loaded my parents' numbers (and later new friends and colleagues). Thanks to my reputation as a lawyer in Buenos Aires it was not hard to find a job and now I had a senior partner position.
I decided to stop there. I loved managing my firm before but now I didn't want the stress. Rome was supposed to be my relaxing and refreshing life. Without the pressure of heading an entire firm I had a lot more free time.
I never even noticed that I had never actually had the time to establish a proper hobby. I found photography alluring. My favourite part was developing photographs from negatives. Watching it form before my very eyes gave me a sense of pride.
Christian adored my hobby (because of my sheer happiness thanks to it) and my creations. We hung my photos around the house, hanging around or in frames. My favourites were in my room and his. Those were the pictures of mainly us.
But there was another album that was filled with pictures. These were old, they depicted a life that I left behind. When I lived under a pretense that I was happy, that there were people who loved me.
I kept under a floorboard in my house along with the clothes I wore the day I arrived in Buenos Aires and various other tokens of four years ago. I tried not to look at it too often because it only made me feel dejected.
I would miss Ludmila, her enthusiasm and bubbly personality. I would miss Diego who gave some of the best hugs. And I would miss Leon, the first person I ever truly fell in love with but also one of my closest friends.
I never imagined that I would be able to create something in Rome. After all that I had achieved, found and lost in Buenos Aires it seemed like nothing would ever come close. But it did, in fact it even slightly surpassed what I had.
Here it was the simplicity that I enjoyed. I didn't have the highest job but I was happy and I looked forward to going to work everyday. I had friends. I had a very close one whom I may even consider calling a best friend although we would never have the same kind of connection that I had with Leon and Ludmila.
I was with my father again. We tried to make up for lost time. Even if we just sat together and watched a movie it meant something because we never always had the chance during my childhood. We talked about everything and anything. I could definitely call him my best friend.
I endured a lot of heartbreak four years ago. Seeing him with Gery was just the cherry on top of everything. It was the evidence to back up an assumption I had had for a few weeks. The smell of her perfume always seemed to linger but I tried convincing myself that it was somehow mine.
His late days and early mornings I always thought occurred because of how dedicated he was to his job but it was actually because he would have rather been with her than me.
I cried for days. It more than a loss of a relationship, I lost two friendships.
And yet despite all of that I fell in love again.
Hey! How was the first chapter of Heaven?? I decided to start with her actually landing before I kinda did my four year jump. This is my fourth draft of a first chapter and I am finally happy with this because I finally completed it.
I had the same trouble with writing the first chapter of Hell. Coincidence. I am excited that the first chapter is finally written and I don't hate it. Probably because this gives me one chapter to properly explain her life. The first draft I kinda just jumped straight into it but I didn't give any info on the last four years.
Sooooo, the last line ; )
It will be explained in the next chapter! I will try my best to ensure you don't hate him, I mean you already hate Gery (at least I do) so I need a nice person.
And, despite the odds of the last week with internet problems I managed to find a way to publish a chapter! Happy New Years everyone! I hope that 2018 is the best year yet and it is prosperous for you. I hope that you are happy in this year and manage to enjoy everything without stressing or worrying too much. I hope you have a wonderful year with the people you love. Thank you for everything you have done for me and with me this year. I can't believe that I am writing this book. Thank you for sticking with me and this trilogy. I love you all!
Thanks for reading 🙈 Sorry for any errors 💚
~Lexy 😈