Copyright (C) 2012 Jenna Elizabeth Johnson
All Rights Reserved
Faelorehn is posted for your reading enjoyment only and not to be reposted anywhere else. Thank you and happy reading!
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-Nineteen-
Eile
Cade had once told me never to go into the cave that led to the Otherworld unless I had no other choice. Well, at the moment I really didn’t have any other choice. The Faelorehn woman (ugh, why hadn’t I asked her name?) had told me Cade was in trouble. In my book a friend in trouble required me to call upon desperate measures, especially since I couldn’t do anything as simple as call the police. Of course, I could be walking straight into a hostile environment, but I was beyond caring for the time being.
A fog had blown in towards the end of the day, as if it knew what I was up to and was only helping to set the mood. Mom and Dad hadn’t been home yet when I made it back to the house, so I left them a note about going out with friends and that I would be back very late. I hoped whatever it was I was supposed to do to help Cade didn’t take all night. I made sure to have my cell phone on me, but I had a feeling that I wouldn’t get service in the Otherworld.
I shook my head and took a deep breath, puffing a little as I walked up the trail that would eventually plunge back down into the culvert where the dolmarehn was located. I was so fixated on going through with this; of walking into that cave and crossing over into the Otherworld, that I hadn’t noticed the sudden silence of the woods or the eyes that watched me from the overgrowth. I was so busy trying to ignore the warning voice in my head that told me I was acting too rashly; that I hadn’t thought this through, that I didn’t see the great black raven watching me with fire in its eyes.
Taking one more deep breath and pulling my thin jacket over my shoulders, I stepped over the broken branches and pushed aside the tree roots hanging in front of the cave like a screen. Shutting my wayward thoughts out of my mind, I stepped out of the white fog and into the blackness of nothingness.
My first impression of the cave to the Otherworld was total darkness. I blinked a few times, stretching my arms out tentatively in front of me. I nearly screamed when my trembling fingers brushed against something soft and stringy. After a few seconds’ consideration, I realized it was only more roots hanging from the cave ceiling. It was a small space, after all, only just big enough for a normal sized adult to pass through without much trouble. Cade must have had to duck and make himself as small as he could whenever he passed this way.
The sudden thought of Cade rubbed painfully against my raw emotions. Some of my anger towards him started to fade away and my more compassionate side kicked in. Maybe he hadn’t wondered about my missed meeting because he had been in trouble. I hadn’t thought of that before. My stupid, selfish teenage heart was only concerned about its own welfare. Now I was beginning to worry. I picked up my pace, keeping my fingers crossed there weren’t any really big spiders in here or sudden drops that might result in a sprained ankle.
As I felt my way through the cave, using the wall to my right as a guide, I breathed deeply to keep my heartbeat at a normal pace. The air smelled and tasted like dust, mildew and eucalyptus oil at first, but after several minutes the temperature dropped dramatically and a cool, moist breath of air slithered past my face and caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. The scent of rain and wet stone and something that just felt ancient flooded my nose, and the darkness around me seemed to grow blacker. I started to shiver and I wanted to wrap my arms tightly around myself, but I was afraid to take my fingers from the earthen wall. I imagined that just a few small steps ahead of me there lay a great abyss, deeper than the earth itself, ready to swallow me whole.
I should have turned around then and there and gone straight home to think this whole hare-brained idea over again. After all, the only information I had to go on had been delivered by a Faelorehn woman I’d never met before. How did I know she wasn’t trying to make a fool out of me? Go home Meg, I told myself, go home and think about this. Cade may need your help, but at least go back home and get your bow and arrows.
Cursing silently to myself for being so scatter-brained that I’d forgot the very weapon I could use to fight the faelah, I started to turn and head back out the way I had come. I didn’t even get the chance to see the light pouring from the mouth of the cave several feet away. Something caught me and refused to let go. It wasn’t anything physical; it was as if some sixth sense inside of me had magnetic qualities and that another magnet, located in that great void I was sure stood gaping in front of me, had sensed its presence and was pulling it forward.
The sensation grew stronger and soon I felt myself being dragged forward. I grasped at the wall with my hands but it was no use. With a great cry and a rush of fear, the cold air intensified and swallowed me whole. To my great relief, I blacked out before I could experience anything else.
* * *
I can’t say how long I was out, nor can I describe the strange and terrifying dreams that haunted me while I lay unconscious. All I can say is that some undeterminable time after being sucked into that black, cold void inside the cave, I woke up gasping for air as if I had stopped breathing altogether.
My head was killing me, I felt like I was going to throw up, and if I hadn’t know any better, I would have sworn I’d been in a horrible car accident. Every bone in my body hurt. I had no idea human beings had so many bones. Oh wait, scratch that, I wasn’t a human being.
Groaning, I tried to sit up. I still hadn’t opened my eyes. My eyelids were too tired to lift. Thick, damp, soft moss or grass gave under the pressure of my hand and a cool mist caressed my skin like a chilly blanket. I managed to push myself back a little, my shoulders coming in contact with what felt like a great granite gravestone. My stomach lurched again and fear shivered down my spine. If I was in a graveyard, I think I might just faint.
Finally, I managed to crack my eyes open, then blinked in surprise at what I saw. The sky was thick with heavy mist, but all around me, in a large circle, were tall, natural pillars of granite.
At first I had the ridiculous notion that the dolmarehn I had entered had thrown me onto the Salisbury Plain and smack center within Stonehenge, but as my senses returned I realized that that couldn’t be right and for a few reasons. First, I could almost see the tops of these stones and the monoliths at Stonehenge were much taller. Second, the circle couldn’t be more than fifteen feet in diameter. Third, and this was when that fear started clenching my stomach again, there was a gateway directly across the circle from me.
I knew it was a gateway because it had to be where I’d come from. It looked like those stone dolmens you see on the covers of photography books featuring Ireland; two large slabs of rock topped with a third, creating a doorway. This doorway was pressed into the side of a small hill and yawned black and menacing, as if the stones were merely outlining some deep cave. Above it, on the hilltop, stood an old gnarled oak tree.
Glancing around, I noticed more oak trees. I came to the conclusion that this gateway to the Otherworld sat on the highest point in the middle of a small oak grove, for the quiet trees stood all around, their eerie silhouettes scattered about in the fog.
I took a deep breath and scooted myself further up into a sitting position, using the closest stone as a backrest. It dawned upon me then that maybe I had been launched out of the dolmarehn and slammed up against this rock. That would explain the full-body ache. But why was I here . . . ? Oh right, Cade.
A quiet rustling soon drew my attention away from everything else. I squinted into the fog, my heart pounding as I wondered what the sound might have been caused by. Out of the mist, a black shape swooped down from the oak tree above the Otherworldly gate and came to rest atop one of the stone monoliths. It bent its neck and let out a long, mournful caw, sending goose bumps up my arms. It was the raven that had been stalking me for the past several months, I was certain.
In the next breath, the bird swooped down to join me and as it descended the strangest thing happened. Its feathers melted away and its legs grew longer. It was morphing into a figure before my very eyes, and by the time it landed on the ground it had become a woman dressed all in black. Her transformation from bird to woman had been so smooth and flawless that all I could do was gape. Yet, that wasn’t the only reason I was gaping. As she approached I got a good look at her face. Pale white, flawless skin, obsidian black hair, blood-red lips and violet eyes. It was the Faelorehn woman who had begged for my help: Cade’s girlfriend.
“Hello Meghan,” she said in a frighteningly calm voice. “I am so glad you could finally make it. Welcome to Eile.”
I can’t say how I did it, but somehow I managed to speak, asking the question I should have asked to begin with, “Who are you?”
She crossed her arms and arched one of those perfect eyebrows. If anything, her unearthly beauty and overwhelming presence was magnified here, on this foggy, wooded hillside full of stone columns.
“Oh, I have a few names,” she said nonchalantly. “Some call me Neaim, others Macha. I’ve also gone by Badb on occasion.”
I was confused. There was something familiar about those names, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I think it had mostly to do with my aching head, but I must admit a good deal of it was because of the fear I felt brewing in my heart. This woman was dangerous; I could feel that more than ever now. As if she had a hurricane brewing within her and she was just waiting to unleash it at the right time.
“But,” she continued, “you might know me best as the Morrigan.”
And at that moment it dawned upon me just how stupid and suicidal crossing into the Otherworld had really been.
“Where is Cade?” I whispered, my head lowered so she wouldn’t see my fear. The Morrigan was Cade’s girlfriend!? Just how much had he been keeping from me? And who must he be to be dating one of the most powerful of the Celtic deities?
“I have sent him off on a tedious mission so that we might have a little one on one time together,” the woman, no, the goddess, answered. “You see, I’ve been looking for you for a long time Meghan, and he was supposed to bring you directly to me if he ever found you. But he was becoming distracted, so naturally I reassigned him. Sorry about that little fib earlier, but you really were being very difficult. I had to get you to cross over somehow.”
Wait, what? What was she talking about? She had been looking for me? Oh wait, she was the raven . . . But why had she been looking for me? And what did she mean Cade was getting distracted? By what? And how had she reassigned him? I braved a glance at her, but her eyes were unreadable. Terrifying, sadistic and now those very eyes were phasing from violet to crimson.
“What sort of mission did you send him on?” I braved, my voice quavering a little. “And what do you want with me?”
The last conversation I’d had with Cade came screaming back into my mind. “Some people would rather see you dead than risk learning whether or not you are a threat.”
Oh Meghan, what have you done . . . ?
“This conversation grows tiresome,” the Morrigan said rather boorishly, “time to finish the job Cade failed to do. Silly, sentimental little boy,” she continued as if I wasn’t there anymore. “I really must have a word with him about that.”
She started to wander off, the skirts of her black dress taking on a life of their own, stirring and mixing with the mist around her feet. I realized they were made of shadow and smoke and something else . . . death.
“Wait!” I croaked, reaching out with a trembling hand. What did she mean finish the job Cade had failed to do? And how could he be with someone like her? True, she was a beautiful goddess, but from what I’d learned from my research, she loved nothing more than to reign down war and strife upon those she ruled over. How could the Cade I knew, the thoughtful, caring Cade, care about someone so twisted and cruel? Because you don’t really know him at all, do you Meghan? a little voice inside me said. Perhaps he’s been playing you all along . . .
Despite my wretched state, my stomach had the nerve to give off a twinge of pain and regret when I conjured Cade to my thoughts. I knew my conscious was right, that Cade had probably used me, but it still hurt nonetheless.
The Morrigan turned her head and peered back at me from over her shoulder, her perfectly plucked, black eyebrow arched in annoyance once again.
“No, you miserable fae strayling, you do not address me,” she all but hissed. “I am the Queen of Darkness and I have decided you may no longer exist.”
Real fear gripped me then, not just at this terrifying being’s words, but at the fact that she seemed to grow larger in size, the darkness she so claimed as her own spreading out from her like a black mist to dance and mingle and curl along the ground and in the trees surrounding us.
I could have sworn I heard voices whispering then.
Beware Meghan! Beware! they seemed to say.
It took me a whole five seconds to realize it was the oak trees.
Beware Meghan! they warned. But I was afraid it was too late.
The Morrigan closed her eyes and let her shoulders relax; her arms to drift away from her body. She lifted her face to the grey sky and began chanting, a deep, resonant melody that made my blood freeze and my breath catch. The words she spoke were ancient, archaic, and although I couldn’t understand them, I knew their meaning.
The earth beneath me trembled slightly and the oaks, once so still and solemn in the mist, began quaking as if in fear. The sound of splitting rocks filled the air and the clouds above began to swirl. I decided right then and there that this whole strange scene had to be just another nightmare. Only, this one felt real.
A strange crackling began to blend with the cacophony of chanting, rumbling and rustling, and when I dared take a good look at the changing scene around me, I nearly screamed. Dark figures had started crawling from the small middens dotting the hillside, looking like some horrible horde of grotesque cicadas unearthing themselves after their seven years of dormancy.
The creatures that crawled forth out of the earth were something from a horror movie. Some looked like corpses of bony goblins, vaguely resembling human beings. They walked like spiders and insects, ropes of fur and hair hanging from their rotting flesh. Some had violent, red eyes while others seemed to have no eyes at all. Jagged teeth and long snouts, horns and leathery wings adorned the bedraggled gargoyle-like demons. As they drew closer to our stone circle, hissing and spitting and growling in rage, the Morrigan continued her endless chant, her cruel laughter tainting her ancient words as she called upon her minions to do her dirty work. A horrible smell soon followed them and I had to cover my mouth and nose to keep from gagging.
Screaming in terror once again, I tried to scramble to my feet but I think my leg might have been broken. Wincing in pain and fighting back tears, I darted my eyes around to look for something to defend myself with. A chunk of rock, possibly broken during the initial earthquake of the Morrigan’s calling, lay within arm’s length. I launched myself at it, falling on my stomach. At first I thought to throw it at the closest faelah demon, but then another thought came to mind. If I threw it at the Morrigan, would it distract her?
Without giving it another thought, I drew back and launched the stone with all my might. It flew towards the Celtic goddess but bounced off some invisible force field surrounding her like a bird smacking into a window. She didn’t even falter in her chanting. I had wasted a perfectly good projectile and now the creatures were moving closer.
Just then a terrible baying broke through the scratching and hissing of the creatures. My stomach curled up in dread once again. The corpse hounds. The Cumorrig. I knew that sound well and any shred of hope or bravery I might have had left fled in the next instant.
Swallowing hard and trying to see through the blurry tears pouring from my eyes, I snatched up a fallen oak branch and huddled near the stone slab I had woken up against. I would fend them off as long as I could, but I knew I was a goner. I thought of my family, my mom and my dad and my brothers. They would come home to find me gone without a trace, only a note saying I’d be out late. I would become another one of those lost girls, abducted by aliens or murdered and well disposed of. How long would my family search for me? Would they ever give up, even when they never found me?
Finally, I thought of Cade. Oh how I had trusted him. Why had I trusted him? Why did he have to betray me? I gasped and my sobs grew stronger as the creatures inched closer. The hounds were getting nearer as well and I could hear their yipping as their excitement grew. My impending demise approached, and the Morrigan continued to chant her death song.
The first hound circled and snapped at the closest faelah demon. For a few minutes a fight ensued, but the corpse dog easily won, tearing the wings of the creature to shreds. The sound of its pain made me even more nauseated. The Cumorrig moved in, panting and growling, squaring its shoulders for attack. I closed my eyes and waited for impact.
A sharp pain in my leg was the first sign my death was occurring. I screamed and beat at the dog with the stick, but it did no good. Like a swarm of sharks waiting for that first drop of blood to hit the water, the other hounds and creatures swarmed in. I felt them tearing at my clothes and hair, the dull sting of their sharp teeth, twisting my arm almost to the breaking point. I screamed and fought back.
Despite the pain, I was able to make contact with the branch and chase off a few, but there were just too many. I felt my strength sapping, but just before I drifted towards unconsciousness, a shout of sheer anger and desperation split the air. The creatures of darkness blanched for a second and the Morrigan’s incessant chanting faltered.
I heard a feminine gasp and the rustling of feathers followed by a loud, furious cawing. The dogs began yowling again and I could feel more than see the demons retreating to their holes. They weren’t fast enough though, for something terrifying swept into my circle of stones and started to wreak havoc.
I cracked my eyes open as far as they would go and saw the strangest thing in front of me. Of course, it was only my delirium. Cade was standing there, looking more terrifying than I could ever remember. He seemed to be growing larger, his thick hair forming into spikes, as if some imaginary hand was adding hair gel and forcing it to stand on end. For some reason, the hair stylist decided to add dye to it because I could see beads of dark red gathering at the tips. I chuckled, coughing on blood. Who would want to dye Cade’s hair red? It was already that color.
It was when Cade’s body started distorting into the most grotesque shapes I had ever seen this side of some zombie apocalypse movie that I decided my brain must be shutting down, and that this was the death throes I had been expecting. It was like watching a car accident in slow motion or witnessing a cartoon character from one of my brother’s favorite shows going bonkers. I had no desire to witness it, but like a drug, the macabre scene drew my eye like a moth to the flame.
An unknown amount of time passed and I could no longer see Cade, but I could still hear what was going on. He must have been ripping the Cumorrig and the demon things apart, because I could hear them wailing and screeching in pain. The racket probably would have hurt my ears, that is, if I could still feel anything. A blur of pale fur swept by, emitting a sharp bark. Fergus!
Suddenly, the horrible screeching stopped and all was still. I wondered if Cade and the creatures had killed one another, but a few minutes later I felt the presence of someone or something approach. Someone strong scooped me up and cradled me against their chest. Cade. Unfortunately, I was too numb to enjoy the experience, or to remember that he had a girlfriend and that he didn’t care about me at all.
“Meghan!” he breathed close to my ear, his voice sounding harsh and broken. “Oh no, stay with me darling girl.”
I’ll try, I thought, but I think you’re a bit too late. Why was I being so reasonable? This was the guy who was dating the Morrigan, the same guy who had apparently lied to me. So why didn’t I push him aside? Oh yes, that’s right; I was in shock and since I probably only had a few minutes left to live, I wasn’t about to reject the attentions of the guy I’d been pining after for the last several months. Immortal or not, the faelah had gotten the better of me and I was definitely dying.
Cade gently pushed his hand up against the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my snarled hair. He was saying something against my ear in that archaic language the Morrigan had used and he was planting kisses on my temple. My stomach fluttered. Not with nausea this time, but with a warm joy. Could it really be happening, or was I imaging it?
Oh, please kiss me for real, I thought.
Then I almost felt like laughing out loud, if I were even remotely close to being fully conscious. There I was, dying on the boundaries of some mystical Otherworld, and all I could think about was this dangerous infatuation I had with some Faelorehn hunter who supposedly was in a relationship with a powerful and beautiful Celtic deity. It was official then: my brain must be fading away with the rest of me.
Cade was no longer speaking but his lips were moving from my temple, to my cheek, to the corner of my mouth that wasn’t stained with blood, trailing kisses the entire way. I waited for his lips to finally meet mine, but fate was cruel and I died before I could experience that first and last kiss.
* * *
Bright lights flashed far above me and it felt like I was floating. I heard urgent voices, shouting and barking out orders. Was I in heaven? Hell? Knowing how my life had been going for the past several months, I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up in either place.
Eventually, the flashing lights stopped and I detected one steady, bright glare. A sting in my arm, the sound of metal clattering on metal, more voices, an incessant beeping sound and then my awareness faded away again.
I woke in a hospital room, completely disoriented and utterly confused. There were hospitals in the afterlife? A nurse came over to check on me, grinning and making some comment about getting my family. I was alive? After all that had happened? Wait, what had happened? I couldn’t remember. All I could recall was that I had been so sure I was dying. Guess I’d been wrong.
Mom and Dad looked ragged, as if they had been up a week straight. My brothers came bounding in, all of them either drying their eyes or trying very hard not to burst into tears.
They explained to me that I had been attacked by some stray dogs or coyotes near my high school. A man driving by saw it all and managed to pull the dogs off of me, then drove me to the hospital. My parents were disappointed that he hadn’t left his name, but apparently I had been lucid enough to give him my name and address.
I had only been in the hospital for the night, though it felt like a week. I had plenty of bruises, some deep lacerations that needed stitches and my left leg had been fractured. I had also hit my head pretty hard but they patched me up, put a cast on my leg and proclaimed me fit enough to leave the hospital.
Mom set me up in my bed once we got back home and brought me a pitcher of sweetened iced tea with lemons. She positioned the pillows so that I could sit up and read or watch TV or work on the variety of crossword puzzles and word searches she’d gathered for me.
“The doctor said you should take it easy for the next few days to make sure you don’t suffer any more after effects of your concussion,” Mom said.
I nodded. Just doing that hurt.
She let out a troubled breath and shook her own head. “A pack of dogs, I can’t believe it. What is a pack of dogs doing wandering around the neighborhood?”
She sounded so disbelieving, but not in a way that suggested she didn’t believe what had happened to me. There were a few junkyards in the industrial neighborhood on the other side of the highway, but they only kept one or two dogs to warn off any miscreants. Most dogs around here were either friendly or fiercely guarded their own yards.
She shook her head again and said, “I just hope Animal Control finds them before they can hurt anyone else.”
Her voice was shaky and I knew she was trying hard not to burst into tears. My mom was tough, she had to be with all my brothers, but when something serious happened she let her emotions show.
I sighed and rubbed my arm. It was sore where the IV had been and where the nurses had given me a rabies shot, just to be safe. I grimaced. I couldn’t wait until everyone at school heard about that. I predicted a whole new onslaught of nicknames coming my way.
Mom kissed me on the top of my head once more, her eyes shining with the emotion she was trying so hard to keep at bay, and then instructed me to send her a text on her cell phone if I needed anything. I told her I would be fine, but I picked up my phone and held it up to reassure her. Casting me one last smile, she made her way up my spiral staircase and disappeared through the trap door.
Feeling overwhelmingly blessed about my current state of existence, I huffed a great sigh and leaned fully into my pillows. If my parents had any idea what had really happened . . . I screwed up my face. But what exactly had happened? It was still all a blur to me, the details at least, but I did recall crossing over into the Otherworld and then being almost immediately attacked by a contingent of monsters. I had done something to defend myself, something pathetic like picking up a rock or a stick. I really needed more practice with the lessons Cade had been giving me.
I cringed at the thought of Cade. Had that really been him when I was certain I was dying? Had he really managed to thwart the Morrigan and chase away her monsters and hounds? Or had that just been another one of my delusions? Had he really held me in his arms and had he truly kissed me before I lost consciousness? And if so, could everything that the Morrigan said to me be a lie? Duh Meghan, she lured you into the Otherworld to kill you. Time to reevaluate your opinion about Cade . . . again.
I sighed and turned my head towards the sliding glass door that looked out into my backyard. It was early evening and the shadows of the trees were painting gray streaks across the lawn. It didn’t matter if Cade had come to help me, for I had a terrible feeling I would never see him again.
Tears pricked my eyes and an ache worked its way up into my throat. As I drifted off to sleep, three thoughts surfaced to my mind. First, I prayed to whatever gods existed that the memories of my ordeal wouldn’t haunt me during my sleep. Second, I asked those same deities that the Morrigan would think I was dead and therefore wouldn’t come back for me. And lastly, I hoped with all my heart that Cade was safe somewhere in the Otherworld. Despite my mixed feelings towards him and regardless of the fact that the Morrigan seemed to have a significant amount of control over him, I only wished him well. Perhaps I really did love him, for why else would I feel this way towards someone who very well may have forsaken me?
-Twenty-
Explanation
When I opened my eyes again it was just before dawn. I wasn’t sure what had woken me, for the silence in my room and just outside my doors was almost deafening. I had to just lie in bed for a few minutes as my muddled mind resurfaced. The medication they had given me at the hospital must have lingered longer than I thought. Finally, I took a deep breath and glanced towards the glass door. I nearly screamed in surprise.
“Fergus!” I meant to shout, but it only came out as a croak.
The great white wolfhound panted just outside my door, looking like a ghost against the early morning fog. I threw back the covers and made to get out of bed but the cast caught my eye. Ah, yes. Broken leg. Maybe Mom had left me some crutches . . . I looked around then sighed. No luck. I contemplated hop-limping over to the door but as soon as I put pressure on the leg, I cried out in pain.
I sat on the edge of my bed, the sheets thrown back, feeling rather forlorn. I was wearing a pair of boxer shorts bedecked with my favorite cartoon characters from my middle school years and an old faded t-shirt. I reached up and touched my hair. Yep, it was a mess. I hadn’t had a chance to take a good look at the bruises that decorated my face or the stitches in my shoulder and neck, but I’m sure it made me look like some sort of teen version of Frankenstein’s monster. Oh well, I thought with a grin, it’s only Fergus who’s seeing me like this.
I glanced up, hoping that the hound hadn’t left, and then nearly fell out of bed in shock. Fergus wasn’t alone anymore. A tall figure stood at my door, one hand on the hound’s head and the hood of his long trench coat pulled up. Of course, the first emotion that rushed through me was relief followed by a tidal wave of mortification. Oh, what a sight I must be! I scrambled to cover myself with my sheets and blanket, well aware of the view Cade surely had been given. At least the bruises will hide the blush, I thought in misery.
Cade must have been waiting for something, because he continued to stand at the door, looking straight ahead. I couldn’t see his face clearly, but I knew his eyes were trained on me. After a few more seconds I realized he was waiting for me to give him permission to enter my room. My dark, cluttered, too-many-personal-things-left-out-for-him-to-see room. I bit my lip. Should I let him come in? I glanced around in embarrassment. Dirty clothes were scattered everywhere, my desk was untidy and my bathroom could have used a good cleaning. I was dressed in nothing but some unfeminine boxer shorts and a hole-ridden t-shirt, my hair a rat’s nest and my face looking like a demented artist’s pallet.
I glanced back up again. Cade still stood there but Fergus seemed to have wandered off, perhaps to act as a lookout. I wasn’t ready to face Cade yet; at least I didn’t think I was. I still wasn’t sure what his intentions were. From the beginning he had seemed to be there to help me, but in retrospect, why would he? I was a stranger and his job was to round up wayward Faelorehn and the lost creatures of the Otherworld to bring them back to where they belonged. So why hadn’t he done that with me? Why hadn’t he returned me to the Otherworld when he had found me to begin with? There had to be a reason and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know that reason yet. The Morrigan could have been lying when she had said something about Cade having a mission, but she also could have been telling the truth.
I sighed. I shouldn’t let Cade in but the fact that he was waiting for my permission was a good sign. Besides, deep down, I really wanted to know if that had been him on the other side of the dolmarehn. If he had saved me in the end or if it had just been an illusion on my part. And if he had saved me . . . Well, then perhaps he wasn’t as bad as the Morrigan had tried to paint him. And I really wanted to see him again, desperately, if only to hear his voice and simply bask in his presence.
Taking a deep breath, I looked up and nodded once. My door must have been unlocked because he slid it open with a cool swoosh. Funny, I’d been so careful to keep it locked of late . . .
Stepping out of the fog and into my room, Cade delicately pulled back his hood and began to take off his trench coat. He folded it and set it on the small futon against the far wall of my room and padded silently forward. He wore his customary jeans, t-shirt and boots, but there was something about his stance that was off. He was still walking around as if he had been running a marathon every day for the past several weeks.
The lighting was bad in my room, the only brightness coming from the foggy dawn outside and the weak night light in my bathroom. As dark as it was it still couldn’t hide the signs of stress on Cade’s face. I almost gasped when I finally got a good look at him. He was incredibly pale, much more so than the last time I had seen him. Dark circles shadowed his eyes and his breathing even seemed troubled; shallow and uneven. If I didn’t know any better I would have said he’d just been released from a quarantined room after barely surviving a bad case of the Ebola virus.
I cast aside my uncertainty. “Cade,” I whispered, reaching out a hand and forgetting about my ridiculous pajamas.
He grimaced and avoided my touch. That’s right. It wasn’t as if he was my boyfriend. Who was I to offer comfort?
“I’m so sorry Meghan,” he whispered, his voice raspy and full of remorse.
I opened my mouth to argue with him but realized he had said nothing worth arguing with.
He ran his hands over his gaunt face and through his hair. If he had been trying to wipe away his weariness, he had failed.
“This is all my fault.” He glanced at my cast-encased leg.
I self-consciously threw my comforter over it and blushed. When had my covers shifted off of me?
“I should have explained more to you, much more, but I didn’t think . . .”
He heaved a sigh of frustration and just barely kept himself from punching the wall. He glanced around my room, spotted my desk chair (strewn with all my sweatshirts and jackets) and dragged it over so that he could sit facing me. My wayward clothing fell off in an accusing manner as he pulled the chair in place. He dropped into it, the legs creaking under his weight.
He rested his elbows on his knees and thrust his hands through his hair again, his face bent towards his lap. I got the impression he wanted to pull his hair out.
An eternity seemed to pass and I had no idea what to say, to do, to think. Just a few short hours ago I was sure Cade wanted nothing to do with me, that he had betrayed me and had been using me all along. But his behavior now proved otherwise.
Finally he spoke, though he still sat with his head in his hands.
“You should never have crossed over into the Otherworld.”
His statement was so quiet I almost didn’t hear him.
“And because I was so arrogant and preoccupied with my own troubles, I never stopped to consider that she would figure it out. It’s my fault, all my fault.”
I didn’t like the way this conversation was going; Cade talking as if I wasn’t sitting right in front of him and not explaining anything he was saying. He didn’t sound right, as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders; as if Atlas had given Cade his burden and now he searched me out as someone to confide in. Only, Cade seemed to be confessing, not confiding.
Eventually, he sat up and looked me straight in the eye. His eyes, usually always so dark green, looked impossibly pale now. Pale and empty, just like the rest of him. What had happened to make him look so sickly? A pang of fear shot through me. Yes, I may have been slightly angry with him and terribly confused, but that part of me, the part that created my sentimental emotions, reminded me that no matter what he said or did, I would still love him.
“Meghan, do you know what a geis is?” he finally said.
Uh, geis? “No,” I answered honestly. To my great relief he elaborated.
“A geis is like a taboo, something that you must never do or else there will be dire consequences. It is prevalent throughout the old Irish folk legends, but it was really a safeguard instituted by the Faelorehn when we first crossed over into this world.”
He paused and gave me his characteristic grin. Only, there was too much sadness behind it for me to really enjoy it.
“It kept our kind in check, so that they would not take complete advantage of the human race. It gave us limits, boundaries you could say.”
Okay, I think I got all that, but why was he telling me this now?
He gave a huge sigh and when he spoke to me next, he kept his eyes lowered and his voice soft.
“I have a geis, and so do you. Well, I should say we each had a geis.”
I felt my mouth go dry. “Had?”
Cade looked up at me then, his eyes haunted and his mouth grim. He nodded once, and then lowered his eyes again.
“Wait, what do you mean, had?”
“You had a geis, and because of me it has been broken.”
“What?” I blurted, sitting up straighter. “What do you mean, my geis is broken? How can someone break their geis if they don’t even know what it is?”
He grimaced again. “Believe me,” he grumbled, “it happens all the time in the Otherworld. Here on earth humanity might call it irony.”
My head was spinning again, and not because of the crazy antibiotics and painkillers the doctors had subscribed for my injuries.
“Cade,” I licked my lips and swallowed my fear, “please explain. What happens if you break your geis?”
He nodded and took a deep breath. “I never thought you would actually come after me, but I should have seen it coming, especially after I learned who had spoken to you . . .”
I cringed. Oh. So he knew that the Morrigan had paid me a visit? I merely nodded for him to go on, once again hoping my bruises hid my red face.
He sat up fully and drew his shoulders back. He gasped and clutched his arm. Without thinking, I reached out to him again.
“No,” he murmured, his eyes drifting shut, “I do not deserve your compassion.”
More stung than anything, I let my arm drop, the hurt written all over my battered face.
“When I tell you, you will understand,” Cade said as way of an explanation.
“In those first few weeks after I discovered you, I came to suspect there was much more to you than I originally thought, Meghan Elam. When all evidence proved as such, I made it my own personal goal to find out as much about you as I could. I tracked down an acquaintance who was able to help me discover who your real parents are. He is the one who suggested you might be Tuatha De and Fomorian. But I have spoken to him since I passed this information on to you, and if he is correct in his most recent discovery, then you are far more than a simple half Tuatha De, half Fomorian castaway stuck in the mortal world.”
I felt a strange shock of fear and delight rush through me. Who was I then?
Cade held up a hand. “It’s just speculation. We have no real proof yet, but the longer I consider it, the more firmly I believe it.”
“Who am I Cade?” I had to know. After learning about the Faelorehn and discovering that I was one of the immortal beings of the Otherworld, I had been dying to know who I was, where I had come from. Who I belonged to.
Cade smiled sadly. “I’m sorry Meghan, but I cannot tell you that. Maybe one day, but not now.”
Severe disappointment hit me first, then anger. I crossed my arms and let my chin drop. Tears pricked at my eyes once again.
“I deserve to know,” I whispered harshly.
“You do,” Cade agreed. “But I cannot tell you. Not now.”
He sounded pained, as if he wished to tell me more than anything. Then it dawned upon me.
“Your geis,” I said simply. He couldn’t tell me because it would break his geis. But hadn’t he implied he had already broken it? Yes, when he was talking about mine.
Cade nodded. “It is more the consequences of my actions. I violated my own geis and now I must pay. One of my punishments includes keeping certain information to myself. I have no control over this.”
I looked up at him. “How did you break your geis?” I didn’t really expect him to answer, but it didn’t hurt to ask.
He took a long, deep breath, as if he were preparing to brace himself against something terribly unpleasant. “I violated my geis the night that you were attacked, but even much longer before that. What the Morrigan said to you that night was true. It was my job to find you and bring you back, though she didn’t know it would be you in particular I would find. It was sheer luck that I stumbled upon you. When she found out, she wanted you dead.” I gasped and he held up a hand. “Please Meghan, I must tell you this.”
I nodded for him to go on, as shocking and frightening as it all was.
“I stalled, tried to change her mind, did everything I could to get her focused on something else. But she wanted you and she wanted you eliminated. It is hard to kill a Faelorehn and only the gods and goddesses themselves cannot die, but I would not kill you Meghan. I could not.”
He took a deep breath and seemed to become lost for a second. Then he started speaking again. “When she found out I would not follow through with her plans, she distracted me with an assignment in the Otherworld. I hate myself for that.”
This last part he said so quietly I had to crane my neck to hear it.
“That’s when she enticed you into our world, in order to destroy you. For, you see, in doing so your geis was broken.”
Ah, so we were back to where we’d started.
Cade glanced up at me, a look of determination on his face. “Meghan, I cannot tell you who you are but I can tell you about the geis that was placed upon you. Your parents knew that someday you would be hunted by the Morrigan, so they did what most of our kind do when their child is in danger because of who they are; they sent you to this world. Now your mother was smart. She not only hid you among the humans of this earth, but she placed a geis upon you. And as you now know, no geis comes without a price.”
I nodded, the dread in my stomach starting to coagulate like cottage cheese.
“You would remain safe always from the horrors of the Otherworld, if and only if you never crossed into the borders of Eile. So, because of my foolish reluctance to give you certain information, and because of the Morrigan’s cruel manipulation, you stepped into the Otherworld and broke your geis.”
I didn’t know what to say, and if I was being completely honest, I was a bit confused.
“I don’t understand,” I admitted. “What exactly is, was, my geis?”
“Do you remember all the times you were chased or bothered by some Otherworldly creature?” Cade said.
I nodded. How could I forget?
“And did you ever notice how they always stopped short of harming you? As if an invisible shield of protection surrounded you?”
I clenched my hands into fists and thought back. I remembered how the demon goat-man hadn’t been able to touch me, how the raven had slammed into not me, but some force field around me. Even the Cumorrig on that first night I had met Cade . . . Even they hadn’t really been able to quite reach me.
Cade nodded solemnly. “You never would have come to harm. Your geis protected you in this world, but since you have crossed over to the Otherworld and stepped foot on Eile’s soil . . .”
“I am no longer protected.” I looked up at Cade with wide eyes. “I am now free game.” And then something else struck me. “That is why the Morrigan didn’t kill me in the clearing. She knew she couldn’t hurt me here. She knew she had to get me into the Otherworld, to break my geis, to make me vulnerable. That is why she lured me there, not to help you, but-”
I cut myself short when I noticed Cade start. He was giving me his full attention now, gazing at me with those intense eyes of his. “Help me?”
I blushed. Ugh, why couldn’t I stop doing that? I hadn’t planned on telling him all that . . . I cleared my throat and sighed. This time I was the one to lower my eyes.
“Um, yes. She said you needed my help and that I had some special power or gift that could save you.”
Finally I looked up, only to find Cade looking at me in the most bizarre way, as if he were dumbfounded that I would actually enter an unknown world full of monsters in order to help him. Oh yeah, that did sound unbelievable.
He reached out then and took my hand in his own. I was shocked at how cold it was and I almost jerked my own hand away.
“Thank you. I cannot tell you how sorry I am Meghan. You should never have gone with her, but it means a great deal that you would make that sacrifice for me. I don’t expect your forgiveness, or your friendship after all this, but I do hope that you know I never meant to harm you.”
I nodded, trying to fight the lump in my throat; trying to remember to breathe. Cade had always tried to help me. Despite my current anguish, I was warmed by that thought.
I laughed after a while, though I felt little humor. “I bet your girlfriend is livid with you at the moment. That was you I saw the night she lured me into the Otherworld, right? It was you who fought off the Cumorrig . . . ?”
But my question trailed off when I felt the bones in my hand begin to constrict.
“Cade, you’re hurting me,” I said, feeling fear once again. Had I said the wrong thing?
I glanced up at him and the look on his face was something between pure disbelief and . . . disgust?
“Girlfriend?” he said harshly.
“Yes, the Morrigan.”
I felt foolish all over again but I managed to get my hand back. Why did I have to go and open my big mouth? Could it be that my brain had stopped working since I found out that I had some semi-important Faelorehn parents who had placed a strong geis on me? All after surviving a bizarre, near-death experience? I really needed a vacation away from being me.
Cade was quiet for a long time. “The Morrigan is not my girlfriend. Did she tell you that?”
I bit my cheek. No, she hadn’t. But she had implied it.
“I just thought-”
Cade sat up abruptly and looked at me, his gaze hard. I turned away, feeling sheepish. If I blushed any more today my face just might start bleeding. That would be fabulous. Would go well with my stitches and black eye.
Eventually Cade snorted and I was glad to see he had lost that intensity about him. “She would want you to think that,” he said almost nonchalantly.
“Oh,” was all I could say. “But, I saw you in the woods, and I just thought . . .”
“You saw us in the woods?”
Oops times infinity.
While I tried to melt away into oblivion, Cade became still, and then a look of realization spread over his face. “So that is why you never showed up for our meeting,” he said quietly. “Meghan,” he continued gently, “I can’t explain what you saw, like the information about your parents, it’s something I must keep to myself. But believe me, the Morrigan is most definitely not my girlfriend.”
The silence grew between us once again and as I twisted the sheets in my hands, Cade stared down at his interlaced fingers. I could tell he wanted to tell me something more, like lightning charging the air before it struck. I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant, but . . . the Morrigan isn’t his girlfriend! I tried not to let the glee show on my face.
Cade took a breath and released it slowly. “I must go soon Meghan. I violated my geis, and that is no easily forgivable thing.”
It had been said so matter-of-factly that I wondered if he had practiced that exact line before he came to see me.
I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. “Will I ever see you again?”
“Perhaps. When I’ve done my penance.”
Two days ago I would have bitterly wished him gone from my life for good, but after learning he had made such a sacrifice for me, I didn’t want to let him go.
“I brought something for you.”
Cade reached around and seemed to pull something out of his back pocket. It looked like a metal cord bent to form a C. The two ends were capped with what appeared to be two hounds’ heads in the ancient Celtic style. It looked familiar, like the strange metal choker I’d seen him wear before. I glanced up at him. Yes, almost exactly the same, though the intertwined cord on his was thicker than the one he was holding out to me. For a long time, all I could do was stare at the smaller choker, both transfixed and uncertain. The braided cord was a beautiful silver color and the snarling muzzles of the dogs featured finely etched teeth.
Picking up my hand, Cade drew it towards him and placed the Celtic object in my palm, gently curling my fingers over it. The metal was cold, and so were Cade’s hands, but when he let his fingers linger on mine for several seconds, the place where his skin touched mine warmed.
“What is it?” I queried silently.
“It’s called a torque.” He gestured towards his own. “The ancient Celts wore these into battle. It will protect you while I’m gone.”
That’s when it hit me. Again. I had broken my own geis, a geis that had acted like some sort of invisible monster repellent. Because of my little side trip into the Otherworld, that repellent was now as useful as hand lotion against the sun’s radiation. I didn’t even try to stop the tears this time.
“Meghan,” Cade breathed quietly, moving his hand to rest against my cheek.
I wanted to move in closer to him, but some deep, primal fear of rejection stopped me. He’s only comforting you Meghan because you are doomed.
“Meghan, listen to me,” Cade continued, wiping my tears away with his thumb. “You are far more powerful than you know and you cannot forget what I have taught you.”
I thought back to the archery lessons he had given me down in the swamp. A fresh wave of tears hit when I remembered that that was when I first realized I was falling for him.
“And I’ll leave Fergus with you. He’ll let me know if you need me.”
“Can’t I come with you?”
Cade shook his head with a sad smile. “When you crossed over into the Otherworld, the fae power inside of you woke up, like a dormant seed that tastes the first rain of spring and the first warmth of the sun. It shines brightly Meghan, but remember what I told you? Your own power is like a battery run down.”
I blinked in surprise. I felt no different than before, but then again I was still pretty sore from the attack.
I furrowed my brow. “But wouldn’t it make sense for me to go with you then? So that I can ‘recharge’?”
I sounded desperate and I hated that. But to be left here like a sitting duck for the demonic beasts of Eile to come find me? Surely I was better off with Cade, even if it meant enduring whatever it was he had to do to redeem himself.
“No,” he said firmly. “I know it seems like the better option, but even if your fae power were to gain strength, you don’t yet know how to use it. I will come back and teach you how to use your gift Meghan, but until then you must stay here. The Cumorrig and their ilk may seem almost invincible to you here, but they are far more powerful in their natural world. Just remain vigilant and remember what I taught you.”
I forced a smile. I was truly touched that he was worried for me, but I still didn’t want to think about how long he would be gone and how long I would have to fight off the Morrigan’s minions on my own. I took a deep breath and forced my tears to stop. It sucked. This whole situation sucked, but it was high time I stop feeling sorry for myself and take Cade’s words to heart. True, I hadn’t discovered the depths of my Faelorehn power yet, but if he said it was there then I would believe him.
Smiling, I looked up at Cade. He dropped his hand and smiled back.
“Thank you. For the torque.”
I wasn’t sure how exactly to wear it, but that was soon resolved when Cade stood and placed it around my neck. The cool metal felt comfortingly familiar, the two hounds’ heads growling at each other across my throat.
“It suits you,” Cade said with a smirk and a glint in his eyes.
My stomach fluttered again.
He tilted his head and glanced over his shoulder. Fergus stood at my door, panting and wagging his tail slightly.
Cade’s shoulders slumped again and he looked back at me. “I must go.”
I nodded, dropping my eyes again. I will not cry . . .
He turned to leave and I reached out, grabbing his hand. “Cade?”
His eyes were no longer so pale, but they held some emotion I couldn’t decipher, yet I knew his attention was fully on me. I should have told him then how I felt about him, that he meant a great deal to me. But I was afraid. Afraid of making myself even more vulnerable.
I cleared my throat. “Be careful, please. And come back soon.”
He seemed to pause, as if waiting for me to say more. I’m pretty sure that the slight disappointment I read on his face was just in my mind. Eventually he smiled and nodded ever so slightly.
He took back his hand, made it into a fist and held it over his heart. Giving a half bow he said, “I promise.”
And then he turned and silently slid open the door, disappearing into the pale mist with a great white hound trailing behind him.
* * *
The school year came to a close with little fanfare, the most exciting event being my deadly encounter with the dogs. By the end of my first week back, the most popular version of the story included some crude remark about starving coyotes and the only reason for my survival being that they weren’t that desperate to eat someone like me.
But I didn’t let it bother me. I was too fixated on missing Cade. As he had promised, Fergus stood watch at my back door every evening and even followed me to school. During lunch and the times in between classes, I would spot him on the edge of the woods, patiently watching me, making sure no nasty faelah were lurking about. It comforted me because even though Cade couldn’t be there, I knew he still thought of me.
I still had trouble sleeping, though that was no big surprise. What with the emptiness I felt without Cade nearby combined with the memories of my ordeal. I never said anything to anyone about what I had learned about myself in the last several months, especially not my family. They had enough to worry about and I’m sure they would insist on taking me to another therapist if I started going into detail about the Faelorehn and my trip to the Otherworld. Nope, I’d had enough of therapists.
I would find a way to manage this on my own, even if it meant remaining vigilant around the clock because some horrifying fae beast could come jumping out at me at any moment. In my current state, I couldn’t even outrun a snail, what with my cumbersome crutches. But nothing so much as a demented field mouse eyed me from the bushes in those final weeks before summer, and I was starting to think, no dread, that the Morrigan was gathering her troops to make one grand attack at some point in the future. Let’s just say it didn’t help with my insomnia.
“So Stitch, what are your plans for summer?” Robyn said, breaking into my wandering thoughts.
I blanched at her new nickname for me. I knew she was trying to make light of the whole situation, and even though the stitches had come out a week ago, she still insisted on the moniker. I resorted to doing what I did best. I ignored the name.
“Hanging around the house probably. Maybe getting a job at one of the cafes in town, if they’ll hire me.”
It was truthful enough. I would be hanging around the house, hiding from Otherworldly monsters and waiting for Cade to come back. But I would also be preparing. I would take Fergus and go down into the swamp and practice my aim with the bow and special arrows Cade had given me, maybe even give my research into the world of the Celts a renewed visit. But for now, I’d enjoy the final days of being a junior in high school.
I sighed and looked around at my friends. We were all sprawled out on a patch of lawn by the track, taking advantage of the shade cast by a group of sycamores and eating our lunches. Thomas was trying to teach Will how to properly pronounce Spanish, Tully was finishing up some homework she had forgotten to do the night before, and Robyn was picking the black glitter nail polish off of her right index finger.
I smiled. How normal we all looked. But I knew the truth. I was far from being normal, I knew that for certain now, and although I was terrified of what the future might hold for a young Faelorehn in the mortal world, I would not be such a coward any more. I was no longer the timid Meghan Elam of Marshwood Lane in Arroyo Grande, but Meghan, Faelorehn of Eile, and I would be ready for whatever that world had to throw at me.