Copyright (C) 2012 Jenna Elizabeth Johnson
All Rights Reserved
Faelorehn is posted for your reading enjoyment only and not to be reposted anywhere else. Thank you and happy reading!
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-Sixteen-
Depressed
Naturally, I was depressed all that week. Tully and Robyn asked me constantly what was wrong, but I merely shrugged and mumbled some lame excuse. They told me that I’d been acting strange for weeks and insisted I tell them what was bothering me.
“Is it some guy?” Robyn asked as she sucked the last of her soda through a neon bendy straw.
I drew in a breath then shook my head. Well, yes and no, I thought to myself. I couldn’t tell them everything I knew even if I wanted to. I wasn’t the only one involved at that point and even if I was, they would finally see me as everyone else did: a freak.
Okay guys, do you really want to hear the truth? I’m not human after all. Nope, I’m Faelorehn, from the Otherworld. Immortal. Remember that huge raven that tried to kill me? Yeah, it was from the Otherworld too, and apparently I’m some freakish, demon-god half-breed that may or may not inadvertently destroy the structure of the Otherworld, so you might want to keep your distance in case any other rogue faelah are after me. Oh, and you were right about the guy. He’s the one who told me all of this, but it doesn’t matter, because he is perfect and has the most amazing eyes and he might die any day now trying to keep all these Otherworldly creepy crawlers away from me.
I didn’t say it out loud of course. No, I didn’t have the guts to, and Tully and Robyn wouldn’t believe me anyway. But thinking about Cade made me suddenly miserable and embarrassed at the same time. He must think I’m a huge threat and a complete waste of time. My cheeks started to warm as I recalled how foolish I had acted around him.
Robyn smacked me in the back and laughed, “I knew it!”
“Robyn!” Tully growled, “Can’t you see she’s depressed?”
I blinked up at them, confused. My internal tirade had sapped my attention for the last minute or two. Then I remembered what Robyn had asked me before and my blush deepened. They wanted to know about Cade.
“Oh, sorry,” Robyn said. She crumpled her can and chucked it into the nearest recycling bin. “Wanna talk about it?”
I gave her a glare and shook my head. That was Robyn’s way of saying, ‘Please give me the details!’
“Oh, come on, it will make you feel better,” she insisted, patting me this time instead of smacking me.
“No, really, it isn’t what you think,” I blurted. Liar. It was exactly what she thought. Sort of. I was miserable because I liked a boy and he didn’t like me back. Ugh, that was a lie too. If only it were that simple.
“Is it someone who goes to school here?” Robyn grimaced as she said it, knowing how we both felt about the boys at our high school.
“Robyn, she doesn’t want to talk. Remember what happened the last time we bugged her about one of her crushes?”
Despite my focus on the downward spiral my life had become, I cringed at the memory. It had been in junior high and the boy of my dreams had been inconveniently walking by when I blurted his name out as my secret crush to my pestering friends. I tried to fake illness for the rest of the week, but Mom would have nothing of it. The weeks that followed had been some of the worst of my life. I had a bad feeling that one of these days I would end up looking back and laughing at how insignificant they were, but I had an even nastier feeling that worse situations loomed ahead. The bell announcing the end of lunch rang and I was brought back to the present.
“Oh, fine!” Robyn complained. “But you’re going to have to spill the beans eventually. Oh! Maybe at our Beltaine festival in a few weeks! It will be the perfect time to divulge anything to do with romance.” She winked and skipped off in the direction of her next class.
“Beltaine?” Tully asked, looking confused.
“May first. It’s a Celtic festival that celebrates the beginning of the light half of the year, or the start of spring,” I said.
Tully stopped and looked at me in surprise. “How do you know that?”
I paused outside the door to our math class. I had forgotten that, for the past several months, I had kept my research into the Celtic world a secret from my friends. Because, let’s face it, they would wonder at my sudden interest in the myths and legends of the ancient people of Ireland. I cursed myself. How could I be so careless? Oh yeah, duh. Gloom and doom headed my way soon, and the stupid side effects that resulted from pining after a guy.
“Um, well, Robyn went off on a tangent the other day after she dropped you off after school.”
I smiled, but the look Tully gave me told me she wasn’t convinced. The tardy bell rang and as Mr. Skaring glared at us as we took our seats, I was grateful. It meant Tully couldn’t question me further and I was certain that the oh-so fascinating world of pre-calculus would bludgeon any memories of the past hour out of her mind.
* * *
I didn’t see Cade for the rest of the week or for the rest of the next week either. I was partly relieved, for the distance from him gave me time to sort through my turbulent feelings. He had said he only thought I might be half Fomorian and half Tuatha De. Maybe he had been wrong and maybe this whole thing was a huge misunderstanding and an overreaction on his part and on mine as well. Perhaps he had figured out his error and was now talking with the Faelorehn being who kept sending ravens and demons after me.
Even if all that were true and I didn’t have to worry about the threat of impending death, that didn’t help with the way I felt about Cade. I tried, for the umpteenth time, to convince myself that it was just a silly crush I had on him and that it would soon pass. He was too old for me anyway, and I’d be going off to college in a year. Then I remembered that I probably wouldn’t be going off to college, since I wasn’t human, and that I would most likely be going to the Otherworld instead. That is, if I could prove I really wasn’t a threat to their society. That got the emotional rollercoaster going all over again.
Robyn’s Beltaine party didn’t help matters. She decided, since her family was extremely religious, and since she really didn’t have a backyard and the swamp behind my house wouldn’t do (thank goodness; it held too many memories for me at the moment), that our little pagan celebration was to take place at a local park in town. We each had to bring a selection of flowers, ‘plucked from a wild field or growing naturally in our yard’. I think the ones I brought were technically weeds. After the initial prayers and thanks she gave to the gods and goddesses (all names I now recognized), we sat around in a circle and recited some sort of chant. When parents started dragging their curious children away, muttering something about ‘freaks’ and ‘rotten teenagers’, I knew the festivities had just begun. Well, at least the weather was finally nice again.
When Michaela, Veronica and half the cheerleading squad arrived to practice, I wondered if I could conjure up flying pinecones again. Of course, there wasn’t a single pinecone in sight. Luckily, the strange droning of our voices blocked out most of the horrible girls’ shrill laughter and crude remarks. After a while they got bored and moved on to a different part of the park to commence with their practice.
The one good thing that did come out of visiting the park was that, once we were through with the ‘ceremony’, we left the grassy lawn behind and climbed down into the area where the creek was located. The trees provided ample shade and for some reason or another, my nerves felt more at peace there. Perhaps it was the presence of the soothing stream, or the quiet of the shady trees. Will and Thomas wandered off to explore the creek while Robyn, Tully and I picked a low hanging sycamore limb to relax on.
“So, spill,” Robyn said as she tossed the remains of her flower garland into the lazy water below.
I blinked at her, not knowing what she was talking about.
“The boy you’ve been mooning over! I know he doesn’t go to our school, because, let’s face it, all the boys there are cretins. And I’ve been watching you for the past two weeks. You haven’t been making eyes at anyone. So it must be an outsider.”
“Robyn! Thomas and Will are cretins?” Tully scoffed, folding her arms across her chest.
Robyn snorted, picking a leaf off of her old tattered jeans. “No, but Meghan isn’t pining after one of them.” She gave me a quick glance. “Or are you?”
I thrust my arms down against the tree trunk, nearly falling off. “No! Thomas and Will are like my cousins.”
“Then who is it? Have we seen him before?”
I sighed. She would never let this go until I provided her with some information. I really didn’t want to think about Cade for the time being, but perhaps I could twist the truth just enough to get Robyn off my back. Besides, it’s not like they’d believe me if I told them the truth . . .
“Ugh, fine!” I hissed. “His name’s C-Clay.”
Uh, Clay? That was the best name I could come up with? I gave a mental groan.
“Oh, do go on. What does he look like? Where did you meet him?”
To my utter disbelief (and relief) Robyn, and Tully even, bought it.
I proceeded to tell them everything about ‘Clay’, his blond hair and brown eyes, how shy he was and how I was taller than him. The exact opposite of Cade. Paranoid person that I was, I didn’t want to risk my friends catching a glimpse of Cade and recognizing him as Clay. That would be disastrous on so many levels. So far I had managed to keep all of the chaos of my Otherworldly self separate from my normal, human self. Okay, maybe not so normal, but still. Whatever being Otherworldly meant for me in the long run, I didn’t want my friends mixed up in it, especially after Cade’s insinuation that I could be leading a very dangerous existence.
“ . . . well, I think most boys our age are shorter than you, Meg. Don’t listen to Robyn.”
I caught the tail end of what Tully had been saying, but it didn’t matter. They had believed my ridiculous story and now that their curiosity was satisfied, they might actually leave me alone for a while.
We stayed in the park until sunset, and then we all piled into Thomas’s minivan and headed back home. Tully and I were the last ones dropped off and as we waved goodbye to Thomas, I caught a glimpse of something lurking in the bushes. My stomach clenched and I looked over at Tully. She hadn’t seen it. Of course not. Was it happening already? The threat Cade had warned me about? Was an army of faelah going to pour out of the trees at any second and tear me to shreds right there in the middle of the street? I was suddenly petrified, but I couldn’t let anything happen to Tully. She was my best friend. I had to be the brave one.
“Well, I had better get home,” I said through a nervous cough. “Still have homework to finish.”
I darted my eyes towards the bushes again, but the thing was gone. It didn’t make me feel any easier though.
“K, bye,” Tully said. As she walked up to her front door, she looked back at me once more. “I hope things work out with you and Clay,” she said with a smile. “Maybe we should all go to a movie or something?”
I was too distracted by my sudden fear, so I didn’t quite hear her. “Sure, maybe. We’ll see,” I babbled as I waved goodbye.
I started up the street at a fast pace and kept my eye on the landscape behind me. Ugh, if only we hadn’t stayed out so late. Twilight was creeping in and the grey shadows of the trees provided lots of hiding places for anything with malicious intent.
I was sure Tully gave me one of her looks before disappearing inside her house, but I was too distracted to notice. Once I was sure she was safely inside, I started running. I moved as fast as possible, my ears prickling to catch the sound of pursuit. I was three doors down from my own house when I heard the loud padding of feet and the panting of a large animal just behind me. My heart rate went up, making it hard to breathe and move my legs. And then, for some strange reason, I looked behind me. Hadn’t I always been the one, while watching horror movies with my friends, who screamed at the main character not to slow down or look behind them? Hadn’t I told them how stupid they were, that if they had just kept going they would have made it inside the house in time to lock out the machete-wielding villain?
Well, turns out I was well ahead of my pursuer. I would have made it, except the shock of seeing it turned my legs to jelly. It wasn’t one of the Cumorrig, nor was it a pack of those demonic gnomes or that vile squirrel I had seen chatting with the raven. This thing was far bigger, about the size of a bull, but it looked like some horrible mutation of a human and a goat.
It walked upright and its eyes were huge and milky white. Rotting teeth that came to a point filled its mouth. Thick mats of black and gray fur hung from its neck and head. Its torso was that of a man, but from the waist down it looked like some monstrous, skinny goat, cloven hooves and all. Three long, spiraled horns protruded from its head and when it screamed, a fetid smell filled the air. I couldn’t keep a sob of fear from escaping my mouth.
It snarled at me, snapping as it approached slowly, its pitch-black hooves clacking against the ground as if they were made of iron. I couldn’t move; I was frozen in fear. It lurched towards me and I ducked to the ground, covering my head. I was certain that at some point I screamed.
Nothing happened, but I could hear the creature growling in anger. I risked a glance. It was pacing again, and then it lunged for a third time, faster than anything I had ever seen. I didn’t have time to cover my head this time, but before my brain could force my lungs to produce another scream, the animal sidled back. I was dumbfounded and confused. It tried to get at me once again and was once again thwarted. It was as if some invisible force field had established itself around my body. The nightmarish animal was angry, but no matter how hard it tried to tear at me with its claws, it couldn’t get to me.
I was so wrapped up in my own terror and fascination that I didn’t at first hear the barking. I saw Fergus before I really heard him, leaping like a white blur onto the fetid, black haired back of my attacker. My relief hit me like a tidal wave. The demonic creature screamed in pain and anger, and before I knew it, Fergus was chasing it back into the trees that led down into the swamp. I hoped he nipped its heels all the way back to where it had come from. Some hellish part of the Otherworld, probably.
“Meghan? Meghan! Goodness girl, are you alright?”
I blinked up to find my neighbor, Mrs. Dollard, hovering over me, her gardening sheers hanging loose in her gloved hands. I choked back a sob. Dear lord, did she see that thing? She was such a kind old woman, I hoped with all my heart that Fergus had chased it off before she rushed out here to see what all the commotion was about.
She blinked at me over her thick glasses. She looked utterly confused, but although she was well over seventy she was renowned for her sharp mind. It wasn’t like she would have been oblivious to what had just happened. Then it hit me. Of course she didn’t see what had happened. She was human and these horrible apparitions were only revealing themselves to me.
“Uhm,” I looked at her skirt, grass stains where the knees should be. “Bee,” I blurted.
She made an effort to stand up straight and push her glasses back onto her nose. She pursed her wrinkled lips and adjusted herself so that she stood, elbows akimbo, and glared down at me.
“Well, of all the silly nonsense. Really girl, a bee? You do know they are extremely beneficial insects, pollinating our flowers for us and making honey . . .” she mumbled as she shuffled her way back to her house.
I cringed. I liked bees, really I did, but how else could I have explained my strange behavior? Had she seen me running and then diving for the ground? Screaming as I covered my head? Maybe not. It was getting dark after all.
Reluctantly, I stood up and brushed the gravel from my jeans. The heels of my hands were scraped, but not too badly. I cast a nervous glance down the road, towards my house and in the direction of where that nightmare had disappeared to. Was it still out there? Would it come back? Was Fergus alright? Had Cade come with him?
Before thinking much longer about it, I began to walk briskly towards home. Once there, I waved a quick hello to my mother and brothers, mumbled something about laundry and homework, and went down to my room. I double checked to make sure my sliding glass door was locked, recovered the mistletoe charm Cade had given me months before from among the necklaces hanging from my bed post, and curled up in bed with a pen and some paper.
Cade,
I lifted my pen and thought about what I should say. I knew he was preoccupied; busy with whatever he was busy with in the Otherworld. But it couldn’t hurt to try. Eventually, I got back to work.
Cade,
I know it has been a long time since I’ve seen you, and I know you are concerned about my heritage and what trouble it might cause, but I need to talk with you. I was attacked by something Otherworldly today. Not the raven or the Cumorrig or even the gnomes, but something much worse.
I thought about describing it and telling him about its strange behavior (how it couldn’t really attack me) but my hand was shaking too much and I needed to write something that would entice him to come and see me.
Please send Fergus to my door when you are ready to meet. I would feel safer if he were there to escort me.
Sincerely,
Meghan
Okay, that wasn’t all that enticing, but perhaps he would come anyway. I glanced out my door, debating whether or not I should place the note in the knothole tonight. When a flash of crimson eyes glared back at me through the growing dusk from the trees in the distance, I quickly checked the lock on my door one more time and drew the blinds.
My heart pounding in my throat, I dug through my closet, tossing my empty suitcase and several boxes of old photographs out of the way. When all of the clutter was cleared out, I scooped up the bow and quiver of arrows Cade had given to me. I didn’t care if my mom or my brothers stumbled upon it in the night. There was no way I was going to sleep without some form of protection within reach. And honestly, I didn’t think I was going to sleep at all.
-Seventeen-
Betrayed
Just as I had predicted, I spent the night tossing and turning, waiting for that grotesque goat-man to break through my sliding glass door and maul me in my sleep. When my alarm went off at six, I merely groaned and got up. I really didn’t feel like going to school, but I knew it would be safer than staying at home all day, waiting for that monster to make its move. I figured being surrounded by hundreds of other students would work in my favor.
The one good thing that came out of my terrifying ordeal from the day before was that I wasn’t thinking too much about Cade. Well, at least I hadn’t been thinking too much about Cade . . . Of course, I had to somehow get that letter into the knothole in the oak tree, but I wasn’t going a hundred yards near the swamp until it was full light out. Right after school would be a good time.
I spent the day in near silence, and Robyn and Tully thought I was still moping after Clay. Good. It meant they would leave me alone. Not that I didn’t want the company of my friends. More like I might burst into tears or snap at them because of all the stress I was under. I didn’t need to ostracize myself even more.
Tully drove me home that afternoon, and I was glad that she took me all the way to the end of the road.
“Thanks Tully,” I mumbled as I climbed out of her dad’s car.
“Hey Meg,”
I paused. There was real concern in her voice. She never let her concern show. I turned, trying to put on a nonchalant face. I think I might have failed a little.
“You know you can talk to me, about Clay, about anything.”
Tully was reaching out, and as much as I wanted to just fling myself against her shoulder and cry, I couldn’t. I couldn’t confide in her. It was too dangerous. I had no idea, really, what was out to get me but there was no way in hell I was going to let it get Tully.
Taking a deep mental breath, I shrugged and said, “No, I’m okay Tully, really I am. There are some things going on right now that are just stressing me out. I’ll be fine. I promise.”
Tully grinned, her pale green eyes looking a bit sad. “Okay, but you know where to come if you need a shoulder.”
I smiled, despite my sudden melancholy. I knew I could always count on Tully.
I watched her car disappear down the street before I dug my hand into my backpack and pulled out the note to Cade. I shaded my eyes and looked up into the canopy of the eucalyptus trees. The sun was far from setting and it wasn’t going to get any brighter. Leaving my backpack on our front porch, I ran to the end of our street, slipped past the fence marking the dead end, and sprinted to the oak tree several yards away.
Stepping up onto the roots and reaching around the back, I located the knothole and quickly shoved the note in. I didn’t even check to make sure the end wasn’t sticking out. I raced back up the equestrian path and out onto the road, turning left up our driveway. Breathing heavily from my frantic run, I scooped up my backpack, fished out my house key, and let myself in.
I waved to my mom, who was sitting on the living room floor with Aiden, Joey and Jack, helping them put together a giant jigsaw puzzle.
“Hi hon,” was all she said. “Frantic day at school?”
Oh. She must have been referring to my disheveled look.
I shrugged and grinned. It was hard keeping all my secrets from my family, but luckily I was in high school and they expected some level of aloofness.
“Yeah, had a pretty strenuous P.E. class today.”
Mom waved me on, knowing I would have homework to do. I headed downstairs and once there I pulled out my books. But once again, homework was the furthest thing from my mind. I wondered when Cade would get my message, if Cade would get my message. I sighed and got back to geography. Best not to think about Cade or the Otherworld right now.
* * *
Three days later I got home from school to find Fergus sitting at my door, panting and grinning like always.
I cried in surprise and delight. The note! Cade must have left me another message. For a minute, I was giddy. Then my spirits dropped. What if he didn’t want to meet with me? What if he had received my note, but was only writing back to tell me to leave off?
I bit my lip. I dreaded going down to the oak tree now, but not because I feared the faelah that could be waiting for me. I was afraid Cade might have rejected me.
Stop it Meghan. Rejected or not, you need to know.
Steeling myself, I grabbed my shoes and shoved them onto my feet. I threw open my door and jogged after Fergus as he loped down the horse path towards the oak tree. I nearly tripped on a tree root in my haste to get to the note. Must have been my nerves.
I slipped the note from its hiding place and with trembling fingers I unrolled it, scanning my eyes across the sparse words.
Meghan,
I will meet you tomorrow afternoon in the clearing.
C.M.
I slumped my shoulders in disappointment. Okay, well at least it wasn’t a rejection. But I had hoped there would be more to it than that.
The note’s brevity had my mind occupied all the way to my room, so I didn’t notice the looming raven until I was just outside my door. It startled me at first, like it always did, but this time it seemed only to be watching me. I wanted dearly to throw a rock at it, but I had no idea what powers this particular faelah might possess and the last thing I wanted to do was anger it. Quickly, I stepped inside my room and locked my door behind me, closing the blinds as an extra measure.
The next day, I got a ride home with Thomas right after school. I had tried to present a more cheerful face during the day and Tully seemed to be a little more relaxed. That was a good sign, I thought. I had contemplated just walking home that afternoon, taking the back way and waiting for Cade, but as silly as it was, I wanted to go home and make myself more presentable first.
I stepped into my bathroom and pulled out the makeup I kept stowed in the top drawer. The last time I’d used any serious amount of it had been for the dance on Halloween. I carefully applied some mascara, lip gloss and eyeliner. I tried to ignore the changeability of my eyes, if only for the simple reason that their inability to make up their mind on a single color was dizzying. It was a good thing that on a normal day they didn’t change this frequently. People were more comfortable accepting that it was the lighting that made them seem to switch from hazel, to grey, to blue.
Once satisfied with my makeup, I fiddled with my hair a little. It had a bit of curl to it today, and I opted to keep it down. I didn’t leave my hair down that often because it got in the way. This afternoon I thought it might make me look more fetching. Ha. Me, fetching . . .
Finally, I changed into my good jeans and a nice blouse, not my usual t-shirt. Perhaps if Cade were thinking of disappearing for good I might be able to change his mind. I glanced at the mirror hanging on the back of my door. Well Meghan, it is an improvement, but I don’t think you’re going to impress Cade. I heaved a sigh. It was worth a try at least.
Fergus was sitting outside my door when I stepped out of the bathroom, patient as a marble statue. I smiled, despite myself. The dog, um, spirit guide, had grown on me, even if he never really showed any emotion.
Our trek into the swamp was a slow one, what with me trying to smooth my nerves and Fergus retreating into his silence. About halfway down, he pulled ahead and started sniffing around in the bushes. To flush out faelah waiting to ambush us? I didn’t let it worry me too much. After witnessing his attack on the goat-man, I felt quite safe when Fergus was around, even when he was out of eyesight.
Eventually, the path curved and the small land bridge crossing the swamp came into view. Just a hundred yards or so more. My heart started to flutter and my legs suddenly felt weak. How could Cade have such an influence over me? The willows acted like a screen as I moved closer to the clearing, but just before I stepped out into view I spotted something that made me stop dead in my tracks.
Cade was already there, standing with his back to me and facing a woman. An incredibly beautiful woman. I felt my mouth go dry. She wasn’t as tall as me, but her presence oozed extreme confidence. Her hair was jet black and fell in perfect ringlets halfway down her back, and her skin was an almost unearthly pale. On most people it would be considered a flaw, but on her it only seemed to enhance her beauty. Her figure, well, I wasn’t exactly flat-chested, but she had the clear advantage over me. She had on a pair of designer jeans that clung to her figure and a shimmery top that accentuated all of her assets without being too revealing. In a nutshell, she looked like she had just stepped off of the pages of a fashion magazine.
I told myself not to overreact. Clearly she was Faelorehn, for she had that irresistible aura about her that also hung around Cade. I just hoped she was a cousin or a friend. At some point in time the roaring in my ears faded and I got over my numb shock. Breathing slowly through my nose, I inched forward, being careful to stay hidden behind the trees, and strained to hear what they were talking about. It was Cade’s voice I picked up first.
“You’re leaving. Right now.”
Cade grabbed the woman’s arm roughly and tried to move her towards the path leading to the dolmarehn. Anger, and maybe even a bit of fear, seemed to roll off of him in waves.
“I will not have you here when Meghan arrives.”
The beautiful woman only laughed; a cruel, confident laugh that made the hair on my arms rise.
“Oh? And why’s that Cade? Don’t want your little Faelorah to know about the most important woman in your life?”
Cade froze, pausing in his attempt to get the woman to leave. I tensed. Oh Meghan, you have been so utterly stupid! I gritted my teeth and willed the tears forming in my eyes to evaporate. But it was no use. I just hoped Cade and his, girlfriend (for who else could she be after a statement like that?), couldn’t hear my heart breaking.
It felt as if the earth were opening up beneath me, to swallow me and put an end to my misery. Of course, Cade and his companion didn’t notice. The woman sneered and yanked her arm free. Cade did nothing to stop her and through my blurred vision it looked almost as if he had been defeated. Like a dog cowering before its angry master.
“I will remind you, Cade dearest, that I am the one who gives orders and when they are not followed . . .”
I didn’t stay to hear the rest; I was too distraught. I had to get out of there before I started sobbing and drew attention to myself. I knew this had been a possibility from the get-go. I knew Cade might already be spoken for. But it still hurt; it still dug at my heart.
I practically ran all the way back to my room, sobbing the entire way, my carefully applied makeup now streaming down my face. I threw open my sliding glass door, slammed it shut behind me and locked it. I didn’t even bother changing or washing my face before I fell onto the top of my bed to cry into one of my pillows.
Logan called down the stairs to say that dinner was ready, and fortunately I had enough energy to call back up that I wasn’t feeling very well and that I was going to bed early. No one came to investigate. Thank goodness. Rolling over on my back, I stared at the ceiling and let my misery flood over me. Eventually I fell asleep, but only because I was so exhausted. I didn’t even notice when Fergus returned to my back door to lie down and fall asleep.
-Eighteen-
Heart-broken
I was sick over what I had discovered, so sick that I stayed home the next day. I had acted like one of those stupid jealous girls you see on TV or in a movie, the ones who allow their lives to revolve around their perfect guy. I winced. At least I had left before I made a scene. What had happened to me? I had always been the sensible one. Why had I fallen so hard for Cade? The realization of that fact, and the fact that I had finally admitted that what I suffered from was far worse than some crush, rocked me and turned me over like that time I tried kayaking at the beach. I sat up in bed, my mind nearly blank with shock, as one resounding thought reverberated around in my skull. I was in love with Cade MacRoich.
I grabbed a pillow and shoved my face into it, groaning. Oh, this was not good. He had a girlfriend, one who was way prettier than I was. Worse, a girlfriend he never mentioned to me. Because you are so far from being a possible match for him, Meghan, that he didn’t even bother dishing out that information. It didn’t matter that I was Faelorehn like him; that I had finally found someone who didn’t think I was some freak of nature. Hot tears burned my eyes and spilled out to stain my pillowcase.
Oh Meghan, don’t you see now? All that stuff he told you about being half Fomorian and half Tuatha De? Either he had been lying about all that and had only been trying to get rid of me, or it was still true and he no longer wanted to have anything to do with me because of it. I had always wondered if my body could produce only a limited amount of tears. I was starting to fear I might be putting that theory to the test.
When my depression passed and my mind cleared, I took a deep breath and tried to shove the image of Cade from my thoughts. It was too early to contemplate all the possible meanings of what I’d witnessed yesterday. Best to distract myself with sleep.
The next morning I got up and got ready for school. I still felt terrible, but I needed to start functioning again. Tully noticed something was wrong right away but luckily I had the excuse of getting over my illness to explain away my groggy, gloomy mood. Sometimes she was too perceptive.
The day passed slowly and I hardly took note of my classes. Coach Tillmann even let me sit out during P.E., claiming I still looked rather sickly. His idea of curing the flu was to go into the weight room and do as many bench presses as humanly possible. The fact that he was extending his sympathy my way wasn’t a good sign. Time to ditch my drama queen act and get over it pronto. Only problem was, that was easier said than done.
I accepted a ride home from Robyn that afternoon and thanked my lucky stars she was in one of her self-centered moods. She spent the entire three minutes it took her to get to my driveway complaining about the streak of green in her hair.
“It’s teal, not lime. Honestly, how can the color description be that far off?”
I merely shrugged as I yanked my backpack from the backseat. I shut the passenger side door, more forcefully than I had meant, and the partially rolled-down window rattled in its frame.
“Uh,” Robyn said, eyeing me for what seemed like the first time that day. “You okay? You seem more depressed than sick.”
I gritted my teeth. “I’m fine. Just had a headache all day and my stomach hasn’t quite settled yet.”
Not exactly a lie.
“Well, you’d better get inside and within puking range of a toilet then, just in case. Hope you feel better tomorrow!”
Robyn threw her car into drive and practically peeled out down our quiet road. I sighed and glanced around our driveway. It was empty. If I was lucky, no one would be home yet.
I bypassed our front door and went straight to the backyard, unlocking my sliding glass door with the proper key and slipping inside, closing and locking it behind me. I dropped my backpack in a corner and belly flopped onto my bed. I wanted at least an hour of peace before my brothers and my parents got the chance to bother me.
I must have dozed off, because all of a sudden I was staring at my alarm clock and it was two hours later than it had been a few minutes ago. I dragged myself off of my bed, feeling grumpy and rumpled and wondering why I felt so forlorn. Then it came back to me: staying home the day before, walking around in a daze all day long at school, realizing I had fallen for the strange guy who claimed to be from the Otherworld . . . I groaned and scrubbed my face with my hands.
“Meg! Mom says dinner’s ready!” one of my brothers called from upstairs.
I sighed, did a quick check in my bathroom mirror, and plastered a smile on my face. The last thing I wanted was for my family to know I was pining after some guy. Giving myself one more power talk, I climbed the stairs to join them for dinner.
* * *
That entire week consisted of me gradually convincing myself that learning about Cade’s girlfriend was a good thing and that my broken heart would mend within the month. But as each day passed, I yearned to see him, or simply get a note from him. I wanted an explanation of who the woman was, even though I already knew. I wanted to hear it from Cade. And besides, I had taken off that day without ever letting him know I had been there in the clearing. Surely he was just as curious as I. Didn’t he want to know why I never showed up? I squashed that thought right away. He doesn’t feel the same way about you Meghan. After that fight with his girlfriend, he probably forgot all about you.
“What’s been up with you lately? You’re not sick again, are you?” Tully asked around a mouthful of tuna salad sandwich.
“Huh?” I blurted, snapping out of my daze. I sighed, twirling my cold spaghetti salad with my fork. “Oh. Nothing. I’m fine.” I tried a smile, but it felt very foreign to me.
Robyn stared at me. “Nothing? Are you serious? You’ve been walking around as if you are living in a different dimension all week!”
I cringed. If she only knew how accurate she was . . .
“Just ready for summer, that’s all.”
“Most people who are ready for summer are antsy. Hyped up and talking about the beach and the lake,” Will commented as he polished off a soda.
“You’re acting as if . . .” Robyn trailed off and her eyes grew wide. “Meghan, you’re acting as if you’ve got it bad for some guy! Is it Clay again?”
The blush that flooded my face responded automatically and completely without my permission.
“Who’s Clay?” Thomas asked.
“Meghan? Is this why you’ve been acting so distant for the past month?” Tully asked gently.
I had totally forgotten about the fabricated Clay, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk about any guy, invented or real.
“No!” I said in response to my friends’ questions. I scooped up the remains of my lunch and headed towards the closest trash can. “There’s no one!”
After getting rid of my lunch, I merely walked away, leaving my four friends to gawk after me in shock. I didn’t want to talk to them about Cade. How would I explain everything to them without sounding like I’d finally gone off the deep end? I was so glad that I wouldn’t be seeing them for the rest of the day and that it was a Friday. I could use the weekend to recover my bearings and maybe come up with some excuse or story to tell them.
I had been avoiding the swamp all week, but today I decided it was best if I take the back way home and take my chances. If Tully and Robyn couldn’t find me in the parking lot after school, then they couldn’t force me to talk about Cade.
* * *
Walking through the swamp and the surrounding woods had been a bad idea. Hadn’t I been trying to forget about Cade? So why did I decide to take a nice little stroll through the place that reminded me of him the most? A wave of emotion swept over me: anger, mostly at myself for falling for someone so utterly unattainable, regret and fear that I might not ever see him again, and a bone-deep sorrow for the whole entire, stupid, messy situation.
As I plodded down the road, slipping a little on the gravel as the steep asphalt became a wide dirt path, my roiling emotions came to a breaking point and a sudden anger surfaced above them all. How dare Cade lead me on like that, treating me with more kindness and caring than any guy had ever done before him? Even Thomas and Will considered me to be just one of the guys, not that I’d ever consider dating either of them. Thomas for obvious reasons and Will just wasn’t my type. But Cade?
I wrapped my arms tightly around myself as the dirt path brought me to the outskirts of the swamp. I could see the small bridge of land that crossed its shallowest point just a few yards ahead. Cade had been interested in me, hadn’t he? My anger at him soon turned into anger at myself. Perhaps I had read too much into his actions and words. Perhaps things were done differently in the Otherworld.
“Hello Meghan.”
I screamed at the sound of the unfamiliar voice and only because my thoughts were so lost elsewhere. Turning with wide eyes, I found someone standing in the clearing that had become such a familiar meeting ground for me. As soon as I saw who it was, I gaped in shock. It was the beautiful Faelorehn woman, this time wearing a summer dress and heels. Really? Heels? In the swamp? I snorted. Why was that the thought that came to my mind? This was Cade’s girlfriend; shouldn’t I be more concerned with why she was here, talking to me?
The woman crossed her arms and smiled, her crimson lips and violet eyes making her white skin seem even paler. I shivered, despite the warm spring air. She simply gave me the heebie-jeebies.
After some time, she released a sigh and started examining the fingernails on her right hand.
“So . . .”
She let that word hang in the air for a while. “Cade has told me all about you.”
My stomach dropped. Oh no, was I to be one of those girls who gets attacked by a jealous girlfriend? Would I end up on one of those daytime reality talk shows? I fought the urge to run, though I wanted to do nothing other than bolt up the horse trail and head for my room. But I had the uncomfortable feeling that this woman would be able to catch me, heels or not.
“Um, he did?” I finally managed, my voice feeling raspy.
The woman looked at me and although she smiled, that smile didn’t reach her unusual eyes. She blinked and they went from violet to a different color; chestnut? It was hard to tell from where I was standing.
“Oh yes. He informed me that he had found a lost Faelorehn, and that he was determined to teach you all about the Otherworld so that you could be returned home someday.”
I felt myself relax, but only a tiny bit. What did she want?
“You’re his girlfriend, right?” I blurted. Then I bit my lip. Stupid.
The woman threw her head back and laughed, a genuine laugh this time, and her black, curly hair bounced with the movement. When she recovered and looked back at me, her eyes seemed to sparkle.
“Oh yes, we do have quite an intimate relationship.”
I blushed and tried not to think about just how intimate. Ugh, could my situation get any worse? As if on cue, my eyes started to prick. No! I would not cry in front of her! I managed to resist breaking down, but just barely.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, but I really should get home. My family will be wondering where I am.”
I turned to walk away, clutching the straps of my backpack to keep a hold of my emotions.
“Wouldn’t you like to come see the Otherworld, though? I can take you now if you’d like. Would only take a few minutes.”
I froze. Why did she want to take me to the Otherworld? I turned and arched a brow.
She shrugged sheepishly. “Cade asked me to do him a favor. Said he couldn’t cross over for a while and asked me to bring you to him on the other side. He spoke so fondly of you, like you were a sister to him.”
I winced and felt terrible all over again. He thought of me like a sister? That was worse than him having a girlfriend. But . . . it was tempting. To see Cade again, even if just for a few minutes, and even if he already had a girlfriend. Maybe I could bring closure to my pointless feelings. Maybe if I saw them together as a couple, I could finally move on. It still hurt worse than anything in the world, but at least I would never be left to remain wondering . . .
“Okay,” I sighed.
I began to step towards the woman, but at that second Fergus came trotting out of the willows. I expected him to come stand by me or maybe run up to the woman with his tail wagging. Surely the hound would be familiar with her. Instead, he did something that surprised me, and frightened me a little. He came to stop just in front of me and took on a defensive stance. With hackles raised, he released a low warning growl and locked eyes with the Faelorehn fashion model standing only fifteen feet in front of me.
Blinking in surprise, I took my eyes off of Fergus and looked up at the woman. She looked . . . nervous? Annoyed? Both maybe? I couldn’t tell, but it was obvious she wasn’t going to get anywhere near Fergus. That was odd.
“It’s okay Fergus,” I said, “she’s going to take me to Cade.”
Had Cade somehow asked his spirit guide not to let me go to the Otherworld? So he wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore? No, that didn’t seem right. He may have broken my heart, but Cade had always been a gentleman. Then what was wrong?
“Oh, silly Fergus. He does that sometimes,” the woman trilled. “I think he’s jealous of me.”
Giving that cool smile, she strode forward, her gate as smooth as a swan’s. Fergus lunged and snapped, barking and snarling.
I stepped back in shock. The only time I had ever seen him act out in aggression was when those Cumorrig attacked, and when the goat-man came after me.
I looked up at Cade’s girlfriend. Yep. She was definitely irritated. Her eyes flashed dangerously and her beautiful mouth curved down in a frown. But she didn’t try to move any closer.
I placed my hand on Fergus’s neck, shushing him and speaking quietly. “Calm down Fergus, don’t you recognize her?”
The hound glanced back at me and something crossed over his eyes. A memory came to mind, a memory of a conversation with Cade. And then I could have sworn I heard his voice in my head.
“Don’t trust anyone who claims to be Faelorehn.”
I glanced back up at the woman standing before me. Sure, she hadn’t claimed to be Faelorehn, but it was pretty obvious. And if she was Cade’s girlfriend, shouldn’t she be trustworthy?
Fergus’s sudden growl told me no. But could I just walk away nonchalantly after agreeing to go to the Otherworld with her? Time to think fast Meghan.
“You know what, maybe I should wait on going to the Otherworld. Fergus seems a bit upset and I don’t want him to attack either of us. Besides, my parents expect me to check in after school before I go out. Can I take a rain check?”
I put on my best smile, all the while clinging to Fergus’s rough fur. It made me think of the little girl I’d been on the streets of L.A., using the white hound as my anchor.
At first, the woman looked as if she was seconds away from throwing a major tantrum, but then she closed her eyes slowly and took a few deep breaths. When she opened them, they were once again a cool violet color. She put on a smile, this one looking genuine, and shrugged her shoulders.
“Very well. I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble. However,” she paused. Suddenly the light in her eyes faded and she choked back a sob.
I blinked in surprise.
“I didn’t want to say anything,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. She looked up at me with imploring eyes. “But, I’m afraid Cade’s in a lot of trouble. The last job he took on, well, I think it was too much for him. You have no idea what power the faelah wield in our world.”
Oh, I had an idea, if I was judging by Cade’s haggard appearance the last few times I had seen him. But her obvious fear and the information she had just given me sent a pang to my heart. Cade was in trouble.
“And he’s certain that you have some hidden power that will awaken in the Otherworld and help him defeat these monsters. But, oh, he told me not to say anything to you.” She choked back another sob. “He thought it was possible you could help him, but he doesn’t want to risk you getting hurt. Oh Meghan,” she looked up at me with wide, frightened eyes, “I promised I wouldn’t tell you any of this, but I’m so worried that he won’t survive the fight this time unless someone can help him. If it is true, what he told me about you, that you are descended from a Fomorian and a Tuatha De, then you could be the only one who can save him.”
I felt my fingers tighten even more in Fergus’s fur. Had Cade been trying to protect me all along? Was he now on the verge of death, simply to keep me safe? All of a sudden, all of my anger, all of my sorrow fled with the wind. A warm contentment filled me, but soon it was replaced by fear. Cade needed my help.
Fergus growled again, but I ignored him.
“I’ll come,” I said, my voice harsh with determination, “but I have to go home first and tell my parents I’m going out for the night.”
Cade’s girlfriend heaved a great sigh of relief. “Thank you,” she breathed, looking slightly haggard herself. “I must go now, to see if I can aid him until you get there. Do you know where the dolmarehn is, to get to the Otherworld?”
I nodded.
“Good. Just pass through the cave and I will meet you on the other side. From there, we can find Cade and hopefully, if it’s not too late, save his life.”
I turned to go. I had to get back to the house as quickly as possible and let my parents know I’d be out for a while. I could have gone with her right then and there, but Mom and Dad would worry and I didn’t want to put them through that.
“Meghan?”
I turned to see the beautiful woman gazing at me, her face a mask of worry.
“Thank you.”
I nodded at her, then turned and sprinted up the horse trail that would bring me home. I didn’t know how much time Cade had, but I was determined to get there before it was too late.