Three weeks have passed since Hayden last came to school. I had given up hope that he was ever going to come to school again because he couldn’t face me; he couldn’t face his emotions. As I showed up to school, I walked with a couple of my new friends, that were jocks, down the halls talking to them about my father and if they could get any discounts through me, but I couldn’t promise anything.
As I was walking down the hall and pass the cafeteria, I spotted him, I spotted Hayden, talking with Rebecca and his friends. He looked sickly, his skin pale, and his hair mussed from his usually neatly gelled hair. I separated from my friends, telling them I’d see them later and walked over to him, but when they saw me coming they quickly ditched, Hayden not even looking at me.
I set my jaw and looked at the glaring faces, I turned away and walked towards my Chemistry class wondering how I was going to speak to Hayden about everything that happened that one night; it didn’t have to mean anything if he didn’t want it to. I stepped through the doors of my Chemistry class and I glanced over to Hayden who sat in his assigned seat, but as soon as I walked in, he averted his eyes to his hands that were placed on top of his desk. I looked over to Rebecca who was dangerously glaring at me, daring me to do something to Hayden so that she could jump up and strangle me.
I sat down in my seat behind Rebecca, who was rigid in front of me, ready to jump at any chance. During the whole period I couldn’t pay attention to what the teacher was saying, I just kept constantly looking over at Hayden who tried his best to pay attention.
The day passed on slowly and I decided at lunch I would capture Hayden and talk to him, I would stop at nothing to make him talk with me about everything. After third period I met up with Heath and headed to the cafeteria, laughing along with some of his jokes, but once I spotted Hayden, I deviated paths from him and headed over to Hayden. But when he saw me coming Hayden ditched, but I was able to follow him and he ended up going into the guys bathroom. So I followed him in, leaning against a wall, waiting.
He ended up going into one of the stall that they had in the guys bathrooms, and he took his time, so I waited patiently as he took care of business. When he got out his gaze instantly fell on me and he tensed up, stopping where he was. But then he tried to play it off calmly, as if maybe I was just in here for the same reason as him, but I wasn’t.
Once he got done washing his hands, he had to come to where I was leaning against the wall by the towels, to get a towel. My eyes followed him as he moved around and then we made eye contact, “Hayden, we need to talk.” He flinched and his small frame shook. This was the first time today I was able to get a good look at him: he had dark circles under his eyes from probably lack of sleep, he was also very skinny like he hadn’t been eating while he was gone, and his skin was paler than I thought.
He said nothing, only tried to pass me quickly to get out of the bathroom, but I snagged him by his sweat shirt and pulled him back lightly, scared to break him. He whimpered and looked down at his shows as I glanced around to see who was in the bathroom with us, my haze fell on a guy who was watching us through the mirror hanging over the sink. I just disregarded him and looked down at Hayden.
“You can’t just avoid me forever,” I spoke softly and Hayden lifted his eyes to me, his once bright blue eyes looked at me sadly. I just wanted to hug him tightly, but I knew that would only make Hayden even more upset than he already was. “Really Hayden, it meant nothing if that’s what you want. I don’t want you avoiding me because of it.” I said softly and the only guy that was in the bathroom with us exited and I let out a small sigh of relief.
“You’re a jock now always,” he said, adding bitterly, “So it doesn’t even matter. You’re one of them.”
“Only because your group rejected me,” I set my jaw irritably, clenching my free hand at my side. His gaze fell down to his feet again, shaking slightly. “You don’t look good, Hayden.” I said becoming less tense and gently used a hand to lift his chin to look at me. He looked sadly at me again, closing his eyes so that he didn’t have to look at me.
I couldn’t help myself, I leaned closer to him, kissing his lips again softly, and they weren’t as hard or tense as they were the first time I had kissed him, they were soft and welcoming, even moving back against mine slowly. My heart took flight as he gripped onto my shirt, pulling me close, yearning for more as his whimpers crashed against my lips, silencing then after.
I gently caressed his cheeks between my hands as I kissed him back deeper, but he pulled away to catch his breath through, and left me utterly speechless as my breath was staggered. Though once he realized what he was doing, he ditched me, running out of the bathroom. Leaving me wanting more, and lonely.
In my next class, Hayden didn’t show up because of what had just happened again between us; he probably didn’t want to deal with me. I just sat in my seat, slowly tracing my lips with a thumb, still feeling what it felt when he kissed me back. I knew he wanted me back badly, but he didn’t want to love, he didn’t want to get hurt again.
I knew I was never going to hurt him, I was going to make sure that I was only faithful to him. A small smirk appeared on my lips just thinking about it, but it quickly disappeared when Heath asked what I was doing.
Heath had tried talking to me, but I was completely ignoring him so he went to sit in front of me staring at me when I had creepily smiled, and snapped me out of my trace. I made my face go grim and I just shrugged, “It’s nothing.”
“So are you still going to hang with us after school?” He had invited me to his house after school, for a party because today was Friday and supposedly he threw huge parties. “Well?”
“I don’t know, man,” I mumbled. Now that Hayden was back, I needed to fix things and it looked like Hayden was willing to fix things with me. “I’ll just call you if I’m not busy.” I looked at him and he looked at me curiously and nodded his head.
“I just hope you aren’t ditching me for new people,” He muttered and walked out of the classroom as the bell rang. I headed out of my classroom, looking all over for Hayden and Rebecca, to see if he was with her, but I couldn’t find them anywhere.
In my next class Rebecca wasn’t there either. Were they going to both ditch now and never talk to me? I groaned softly after school, still not seeing them anywhere; so I just headed back to my car, and headed home. It seemed like I haven’t been home much lately because I was always out with friends and or getting drunk and not coming home altogether.
Once I got home, no one was home, so I just locked the house and went back into my car and just drove around. I felt antsy; I didn’t want to stay in one spot so I headed to the park, where I parked at walked along the green grass, glancing at kids faces.
I sat down on a bench, leaning back against the backrest, really not looking anywhere in particular. I probably stayed there for about thirty minutes when someone sat down beside me and I glanced over to see Hayden, as he nervously picked at the hem of his shirt. I quirked an eyebrow, was he following me here?
He looked over at me and then dropped his gaze, “I’m sorry.” He muttered and I mumbled a quick ‘it’s okay’, but he shook his head, sniffling, “No. It’s not okay, Adam. It’s not okay that I act like this when you are only showing kindness.” I set my jaw and looked down at his messy brown hair, wanting to run my hand through it, wanting to hold him.
“Really, Hayden, it is okay,” I gently rubbed his head and he looked back up at me, tears in his eyes and he wiped them away, wrapping his arms around me, embracing me into a hug. I hugged him back tightly, my heart pounding crazily inside my chest.
He buried his head inside my chest, soaking my shirt with his tears as he softly sobbed; I just held him, mumbling soothing things into his hair as I took in his scent. He smelt of really nice cologne that smelled of amberwood, making inhale it deeper, loving the smell.
Hayden pulled away and glanced up at me, his face moistened from sobbing and I leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips again, lovingly and he returned it and sobs softly as he did so. People were looking when we kissed, but I couldn’t care less. I was so happy, my heart pounding quickly in my chest, holding him.
The broken boy was mine.
x ~ x ~ x
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