"Can you perform the procedure, doctor?" murmured a gruff voice.
"I, I think so – but what happened to him?" Replied another man quietly. "Why is he here?"
"There was an accident, and he is now our responsibility."
'An accident?' I thought, fighting vainly through my far too clouded mind.
"General, do you mean he's -"
"That's all you need to know and more, doctor."
"But he's just a teenager!"
'Who are you talking about?'
"He's exactly what this organization needs."
'Who are you talking about?!'
A constant beeping began, unending and unnerving as the 'general' barked out, "Tell me what is happening down there!"
'Down there? What do you mean, "down there", where am I?'
"H-his vitals are spiking – something is wrong!" The doctor cried out, and I heard several pairs of shuffling feet come towards me from the direction of his voice. "He's having some sort of attack!"
'Attack!?!'
"Stabilize him, doctor!" The commanding voice called.
"I need to sedate him before I can do anything – there's too much interference – he's fighting the procedure!" I heard the doctor's strained exclamation just before I vaguely felt a prick of what I assumed was a needle.
I was vaguely aware as a heaviness began to wash over me, as though an unseen force was holding me down in the darkness that surrounded me. I couldn't break free from whatever had its grip on me, and I felt despair take control as I began to be immersed further by the void that had been steadily growing around me.
I tried to cry out, but to no avail. Even the voices I had heard moments before had fallen silent. I felt as though I was surrounded, and yet, there was nothing there.
Absolutely nothing.
_________________________________________________________
I had been fighting the darkness all around me for what had felt like days, weeks, even months, and I could finally hear people around me again. I couldn't force my eyes open yet, but I felt as though the light was on the horizon, and that brought me hope.
"Well, it's been a week since the subject was brought to us and we successfully completed the procedure on him as the General ordered - our patient should be waking up any day now."
"Don't we have to wait until he wakes up to find out if the procedure was truly successful?"
The two voices that were constantly hovering around me ever since I had become aware of my surroundings were now identifiable. I had met neither of them before – I felt that much was true – but the first voice seemed vaguely familiar somehow. Yet, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why.
Both of the voices belonged to men, the first was clearly older than his colleague and seemed to be the more knowledgeable of the two about whatever it was they were talking about.
"It's true that we won't be able to confirm anything concretely until he wakes up, but the preliminary scans and testing from after the procedure looked fairly conclusive." The older man paused for a moment before adding, "Physically, he has almost healed from the accident that brought him here in the first place. I'd say that in another week he should be fully recovered."
I didn't know who they were talking about, or why they would be talking about such things around me, but at least the prognosis they were giving sounded promising. But I didn't understand what they were saying about an accident. Who was it that they were talking about anyway – me? I didn't remember being in an accident.
'Really though, I can't remember much of anything right now.' I thought ruefully to myself.
"After he wakes up," The second man began, "How long do you estimate the adjustment period will be?"
'Adjustment period?'
"I don't think I'll feel at liberty to try and make such an estimate until he is awake and fully healed. Only time will tell now." The expert answered.
"Of course, doctor, I'm sorry." The second man's reply confirmed my reasoning that the first was a knowledgeable man – he would have to be in order to be a doctor. A doctor of what, I wasn't sure, but I felt that although he seemed to be a doctor in the medical field he definitely wasn't an ordinary, run of the mill family physician.
I listened as the two men continued talking. The sound of their footfalls indicated that they were moving away from me, or even around me, but I could always hear their conversation as though they were standing right beside me.
'I'll just add that to my growing list of weird facts I'm learning that don't make sense.'
"Doctor Cole, do you think it would be wise if the General was present when the subject wakes up?"
"It's difficult to say, as I don't know when our patient will wake up, after all. Besides, I believe it may be best that the General is introduced once we have confirmed the procedure went as planned and that the subject is fully healed and rested. We will of course let the General know once he is awake."
I felt like this conversation between the two men kept happening over and over again each time they visited the room I was in. It was as though they could never truly make up their minds about this patient of theirs they kept talking about and whether whatever he had been through would affect him negatively or not.
For the most part, the doctor, Dr. Cole, always seemed to view the prognosis as positive while his colleague was more apprehensive to view anything positively until he had seen the proof for himself.
I turned my attention back to their conversation, the only form of entertainment in my void, "Doctor, come look at this monitor."
I heard the footsteps I had identified as the doctor's head towards where the third, unfamiliar voice had come from. I had heard the doctor give instructions to other people in the room before, but I had never heard any of them talk up until that moment, although I always heard their movements in the background.
"What is it, Nelson?" The doctor asked.
"The subject's brain activity has been increasing slowly over the past few days, but especially today." Nelson's voice sounded younger than the other two men I had been listening to, so I could only assume that he was an assistant to Dr. Cole. "I believe he may be trying to wake up, or he doesn't yet realize he can."
There was silence for a few moments, and then I heard the doctor approach me.
The more I listened to the conversations the doctor had with those around him, the more I began to slowly believe that I very well could be the patient they all kept referring to. I really had no other possible explanation as to why I was even in a place where a doctor and medical staff were constantly monitoring me.
Dr. Cole stopped right next to me, and I could even hear his heartbeat as he breathed in and out. I focused on it, trying to ignore that fact that I shouldn't be able to hear things even half as well as I have been.
"Alright, bud, I know you've got plenty going on up in that brain of yours, but what about anywhere else? Can you show me somehow that you understand what I'm saying, that you're ready to wake up?" I willed my eyes to open, to find out who this Dr. Cole was and finally have a face to match to the voice I had been hearing, but nothing happened. Not even a sliver of light registered in my mind.
"I think you've been asleep long enough, don't you?" The doctor continued to talk, encouraging me to wake up as though the sound of his voice would cause me to suddenly find strength.
After a few more tries, and absolutely no response from me, the doctor let out a heavyhearted sigh. I heard his lab coat shuffle as he moved his arm, and a spark of heat flew through me as he set his hand on my shoulder. "I really thought you were ready to wake up – all the right brain patterns were there... but maybe tomorrow. It's getting late."
He sighed once more as he gave my shoulder a firm, almost fatherly squeeze. I heard him turn and begin to walk away. Panic surged through me, suddenly unsure and afraid of being left alone for the night – again. I didn't want to be trapped in this darkness anymore.
"W-wait." A voice croaked.
"Doctor, did you hear that?" Nelson whispered.
"Doctor, wait!" The scratchy voice, calling for the doctor – it was mine. It sounded so foreign, so unfamiliar, but it was music to my ears.
I twitched my fingers, ecstatic that more than my lips were moving. I felt a hand with slightly calloused skin rest on mine for a moment, Dr. Cole muttering to himself, "Thank goodness, it's about time this boy woke up."
Dr. Cole left my side and started giving out orders to his medical staff. I could hear the room around me turn into a flurry of activity; all the while I tried to hold onto the small amount of mobility I had gained. I wasn't about to fall back into the darkness that had held me captive for a week. No, I was going to keep fighting until I finally saw the light of day again.
An electronic beep that I had been hearing constantly began to change pitch and rhythm – all the sounds around me had changed as soon as I began to move. I willed myself to do more than twitch, to rasp out a few words – I had to escape the blinding black I had been marooned in for far too long. I focused, willing for my attempts to finally come to fruition – to see something.
Fluorescent light.
It was blinding and unnatural, but it was light!
I blinked at the sudden brightness, but I kept opening my eyes, not wanting to face the unrelenting darkness once more. I willed my eyes to adjust quickly – I was desperate to see.
People were hovering around me and talking – orders were being shouted across the room – I felt like I had just woken up in the middle of a medical battlefield. I avoided eye contact with anyone and stared at the ceiling. It was just a normal ceiling, but it was pure white and was simply amazing after being surrounded by deep black for so long.
My hearing sharpened and focused once more as my vision stopped demanding so much of my attention. I heard the familiar and knowledgeable voice of the doctor to my left and turned my head in order to see the person whose voice I had come to know so well. He was standing with several assistants around him, giving them each a job to do. He was middle-aged and relatively short with black hair that had a small dusting of gray – just enough to give him a distinguished appearance.
He may have been small in stature, but everyone around him listened intently – dedicated to helping this man achieve his goals. He assigned assistants to constantly monitor and record my vitals, while others were to identify and analyze any strange brain activity.
Dr. Cole turned to look at me and smiled once he realized that my eyes were open. He motioned to a man on his right to follow him as he walked towards me. The doctor practically beamed as he approached, exclaiming, "My boy, you're finally awake! Why, some of my team had even started to place bets as to how long you would stay unconscious for."
He left little time for me to reply before motioning to the man behind him and stating, "This is my colleague, Dr. Jeffery Alan. He has been assisting me in overseeing your speedy recovery."
"Speedy?" I managed to croak out. I looked between the two doctors and asked, " But I-" A coughing fit due to my dry throat cut off the rest of my question, but Dr. Alan seemed to have understood what I had intended to ask and jumped right into an explanation.
"Considering the condition you came to us in, you did indeed recover more quickly than we had anticipated – you've got a great immune system working for you there, kid. One of the best I've ever seen." I looked up at him as he pushed his black rimmed glasses further up his nose, his brown bangs falling just above the frames. He looked at me through steel grey eyes with a type of curiosity I couldn't identify as he added, "You still need to rest for a few days as we monitor you though, we can't let you push yourself too far, too soon, now can we?"
I nodded stiffly, noting that while I was awake at long last, my fine motor skills were quite lacking. "You'll be back to normal in no time, lad, don't you worry." Dr. Cole informed me, as though he could sense my discomfort. I nodded once more, managing a more natural motion.
Sighing, I closed my eyes briefly and collected my thoughts before opening them and meeting Dr. Cole's kind blue eyes. "Why am I...", I paused for a moment and swallowed in an attempt to get rid of the feeling of sandpaper in my throat before I asked, "Why am I here?"
The two doctors turned to each other, sharing a concerned glance before Dr. Cole turned to me once more and asked, "You don't remember?"
"No, I, I...." I trailed off, unsure as to how my sentence was supposed to end. No matter how hard I tried, it felt as though the dark fog that had trapped me in my mind for so long was still hovering over my memories. "I don't...."
"What is the last thing you can remember?" Dr. Alan inquired, his head tilted in a way that the glare on his glasses from the lights overhead obscured my view of his eyes.
I turned away from the doctors and looked towards the ceiling. I focused on my memories once more, but the fog still remained. Shaking my head gently in disbelief, I whispered, "Nothing."
"Nothing?" Dr. Alan repeated.
"I – I can't remember anything that happened before I began to wake up." I glanced to my left to see Dr. Alan nodding slowly at my words, taking note of something on his clipboard. Turning my attention to Dr. Cole, I asked, "What does that mean?"
With a sigh he informed me, "When you first came to us, you had been injured rather severely. I really wouldn't be surprised if you had hit your head somehow in whatever accident it was that brought you to us. Unfortunately, memory loss was always a possibility from the start."
"I've lost my memory?"
"I'm afraid so, but only time will tell if it is permanent or not." Dr. Cole informed me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder again. I was still processing the fact that I had lost my memories, so I didn't notice right away how warm the doctor's hand felt. Once I refocused, I wondered how the heat traveled through my shirt so quickly, only to look down and realize that I didn't have a shirt on.
Bandages covered my torso and chest, ending just below my neck and wrapping around the shoulder opposite to the one Dr. Cole had placed his hand on. "What happened to me?" I asked, dreading what the answer could be. The doctors once again shared a look with each other before with a final squeeze, Dr. Cole let go of my shoulder.
"Lad, I'm afraid that's a question that no one in this room knows the answer to, I'm sorry. Truly." As Dr. Cole gave me one last apologetic glance, he turned around and headed back to where his many assistants were at work analyzing every last bit of information they could get their hands on.
Dr. Alan also turned to leave, motioning to nearby assistants to come and check me over. Pausing before he left, he suggested, "It would be best if you rested now and don't move too much to aggravate your wounds – we have you on strong painkillers right now, so you likely aren't able to feel all that much of anything for the moment." He glanced at me once more, adjusted his glasses, and walked away as he called back, "Get some rest and try not to think too much, I'm sure answers will come in time."
He meant well, but as the medical staff hovered around me and I laid back down, I knew that my thoughts and unanswered questions were going to start filling up the vacancy the absence of my memories had created.
While the doctors' assistants went about their tasks, I felt one of them prick my arm with a needle and tell me, "I know you just woke up, but the painkillers also have sedative properties, I'm sorry."
As I began to feel the weight of darkness close in on me again, I saw Dr. Alan follow Dr. Cole to a doorway, saying, "As usual, you were right. We were successful."
My eyes began to grow tired once more as the painkiller made its way through my system, pulling me ever closer back to the darkness I had just escaped from. The black fog rolled through my mind once again and the last thing I heard before the black abyss swallowed me whole was Dr. Cole adding quietly, almost regretfully, "So it would seem."