The sun was long gone by the time Riya and Natasha began their talks. The darkness of night had come in and engulfed every last ray of light. Natasha and Riya were still not alone though. The guardians of night, the moon, and stars lurked right outside their window. Hearing their secrets. Keeping them locked in their twinkling existence.
"How do you feel Nat?"
Riya spoke suddenly, asking the most obvious question anyone would ask. However, as soon as those words left her mouth, she realized how stupid it was. Meanwhile, Natasha let her eyes roam on her still bed-ridden body. Finally, she allowed her eyes to linger on Riya. Her cocked eyebrows were questioning Riya in their own style.
"Sorry, stupid question. I know."
After a couple more equally stupid questions, Riya gave up her efforts to strike a conversation. Natasha had never seen her friend searching for words before. This wasn't the way he friend worked. This wasn't the Riya which she knew before going into that hibernation. No. This was definitely someone else wearing Riya's skin. And once again her raised eyebrow asked a million questions to Riya.
Riya seemed a bit off at that moment. She was excited to meet Natasha after so long. That excitement was evident in her eyes. And yet somehow it managed to stay away from her face.
"I don't know why I'm feeling so lost today," Riya explained.
"Lost?" Natasha asked instinctively. That one word stirred the hidden thoughts back in her mind.
When you're really into something, there's a chance you might get lost in it.
That was the one line which kept repeating again and again in her head during her hibernation. She didn't know what it was or why it was so important for her mind's cassette to be stuck on it. Somehow, it just felt familiar. But that wasn't the only one. One more feeling crowded her mind during that phase. Something she wished no one else should ever face.
Before Riya could speak anything else, she asked the stupidest question of the evening. For her though, it was necessary to get those depressing thoughts out. Riya was the escape she sought.
"Did you miss me Riya?"
Riya was dumbfounded by this. If she had felt like being in a maze before, then the feeling worsened with this question. It was as if she could see the exit right before her eyes, but the way to it was nowhere to be seen. But more than that, she just couldn't believe her best friend could even ask such a thing.
"Of course I did Nat. What kind of a question is that?"
"I don't Riya. When I was um...sleeping, I had this strange feeling of isolation. I felt as if no one cared for me anymore. Like it didn't matter to anyone if I woke up or not. It was like no one wanted to be my alarm clock."
Riya chuckled at the use of word sleep. In these two months, Natasha was far from just sleeping. If being an alarm clock would have done the trick, then Natasha should have been awake long back because Riya was there every day shaking her up, trying to wake her. No, she wasn't just sleeping at all. She was somewhere far. Although, if that's what Natasha would like to call it, Riya was happy to play along. Why would she argue if that was going to ease her friend's pain?
That was the least of her concerns anyway.
"You know I'd never leave you, Nat."
Riya pressed her hand on Natasha's to stress her point. Just like a parent would do to their children, Riya was giving Natasha an assurance that she was there. She was making Natasha believe that no matter what happens, her friend was right there, standing by her side.
"I know Riya. Believe me, I do. I've always known that. And yet when those thoughts came up, I somehow gave in to them. I didn't resist them or push them away. I just believed them to be true. That's what scares me the most."
"Oh, Nat..."
This time Riya knew a simple touch of affection wasn't enough. She got up and sat right beside Natasha, hugging her in the process. She lay her head on Natasha's shoulder and just sat there in silence. They allowed the other to hear their throbbing hearts and let the warmth of their bodies seep into the other. No words could have been able to accomplish what a simple gesture did.
When the mood lightened a bit, Riya decided to change the topic.
"So what else did you think while you were um...sleeping?"
Even Natasha smiled at her situation being described as sleeping. Riya wasn't her best friend for no reason. She could read her thoughts on most occasions and she proved it once again by playing along.
"I can't really remember anything else. Whenever those thoughts of isolation hit, I went into a kind of shell. Once in, it was just darkness and nothing else."
Natasha didn't understand why her mind shied away from revealing that thought of getting lost. She could feel an aura forming around that thought, an aura of fear. She wished to keep that thought hidden until the end of eternity but one glance at Riya's face was enough to relax her storming mind. Mingled with an innocence, there was that assurance in Riya's eyes which hit her hard. What are you doing Nat? She scolded herself. You can tell anything to Riya. She's your friend after all.
Before any other thoughts could threaten to change her resolve, she let the ball rolling.
"Oh wait. There was this one thing which kept on repeating again and again. I don't know why or what relevance it holds for me, but the one thing which I know is that it had made a place in my mind. A permanent place. Every other thought came and went like someone living on a rent. While these two, they owned my mind for all that time."
Riya's facial expressions changed to a confused one in an instant. Just a minute ago Natasha had denied of having any other thoughts and now she counters her own statement. Does she not trust me? Riya was left in a shock of disbelief. Still, she tried to play cool as if nothing unusual had happened.
"What is it, Nat?"
This was the moment. Once again Natasha paused for an unhealthy amount of time before speaking. She was still weighing her options. Finally, she let it out.
"Something like if you're really into something, there's always a chance of..."
Natasha never got a chance to finish her sentence. Her very best friend did it for her.
"...a chance of you getting lost in it."
The fact that Riya knew it scared Natasha even more.
"You know that? Oh, thank god. I had thought I'd die while trying to unravel the mystery behind this puzzle. Who knew that Sherlock himself was waiting for me outside."
But Riya wasn't listening to any of it. Her mind had already hired a time machine to take her back to the past. Natasha was right. Riya wasn't supposed to know that line. No, not at all. Yet, she did. Memories came rushing back to her.
It was a couple of weeks after that accident when Riya had decided to check on Natasha's favorite writer. She felt as if reading his stories to Natasha might just stir the fazed out mind. Though when she logged in on wattpad, she was surprised to find MrAdventure disappearing into a shell too. She still doesn't know why but her mind had instantly joined the two links. She felt a connection to the event of his disappearance and what happened to Natasha.
That moment, she felt an urge to inspire him back to writing. She saw a hope hidden in that gesture. But for that, she had to know the person better. And so, driven by the thoughts of helping her friend, she committed a crime any friend should be ashamed to do.
She read their personal messages.
'If you're really into something, there's a chance you might get lost in it.'
That was the last message Natasha had sent to him. The reason behind that message was still unknown. And that mystery around it made Riya remember it by heart.
No, she wasn't supposed to know that line. And yet, she did.
"What happened Riya? Is that thought connected to something bad?"
Riya looked completely shaken at that point. Normally that silence was capable of conveying a million emotions, but today, it felt choking. It was confusing. But more than that, it was scary.
When Riya still didn't say anything, Natasha shook her even harder.
"Riya..."
Riya snapped back into the present and blurted the first thing which came to her mind.
"Yes, I know it. You said it to..."
She trailed off just in time to save the embarrassment. The fact that Natasha didn't remember that line surprised her a bit. But she let that thought pass for the moment.
On the other hand, Natasha was taken aback by that incomplete answer. And then there was the fact that she had said that thing to someone. Then why can't she remember? She was about to go into a trance when a thought suddenly hit her.
"Mr. Adventure?" Natasha asked out of the blues.
Riya looked at her as if she had seen a ghost. She didn't understand this game Natasha was playing with her. If she knew the guy, she had to know what she messaged him too. Remembering one thing and forgetting another wasn't really Natasha's trait. And that's what confused Riya more. What are you trying to prove Nat?
"You know him?" Riya played around the bush.
"I don't know him," Natasha replied innocently, "It's just that the name flashed in my thoughts too when I was sleeping. So I just took a wild guess. Why do you look so shaken though? Am I supposed to know him?"
Riya heaved a sigh of relief. Except for this two facts, she was sure Natasha didn't remember anything about Tanmay. The doctor had warned them about the damage to Natasha's hippocampus. They had said she might forget the most recent memories. And Riya was watching the implications of that statement. Her friend didn't remember anything about her favorite writer.
While Riya went into another journey of thoughts, Natasha couldn't help but take notice of her silence. She wasn't used to such prolonged silences from the most talkative person of their group. Something was definitely wrong. To get the information out, she tried to rephrase her question.
"Do you know him Riya?"
"Yes," was all Riya could say.
All the moments since the one she followed Tanmay on wattpad to their most recent talks replayed in her mind. And when she remembered the last message she had sent to motive him, she hit herself hard on the forehead. Unknowingly, she had used Natasha's line in her message. She had used something which was a crucial cog in the private conversations of MrAdventure and MissMagician. If Tanmay was even a tiny bit smart, it wouldn't take him long to deduce the meaning of it.
Unable to hold herself anymore, Riya rushed outside Natasha's ward and plunked herself on the bench outside. Opening her wattpad for the first time in two days, she just hoped it wasn't too late.
Natasha, on the other hand, just closed her eyes and allowed her mind to drift into a whirlpool of assumptions and conclusions. Her best friend was keeping secrets from her. It wouldn't have troubled her that much on normal occasions, but the way this night had rolled out, it led her to the worst of thoughts.
Maybe it's time to review our friendship.
***
24th July 2017
"We unknowingly do some things thinking they're for the betterment of someone, just to realize later that those were things would be the reason for our doom."
***
Phew!
That was one long update.
Well, I don't have many words to explain Riya's situation here. We do some mistake, we realize them, learn from them, rectify them and the next day, we do something else. That's the cycle of life.
Mistakes are an integral part of it.
And today, Riya has seen the other side of it.
She's the one who has given Tanmay false hopes.
She's the one who has injected a bug of doubt in Natasha's mind.
She's the one who has put herself in the middle of things.
So, is she the villain which this story yearned for?
Well, stay tuned to find out...