Image: Black and White Wolf by Julian Simpson
Soundtrack: Enchantress by Two Steps From Hell
***
The few hours of sleep I'd gotten while hiding out in the park were not enough. My mind strains to stay awake and I force my legs to keep moving. I have to race against the snowfall. I have to get back to the forest, and once there, I can Shift. I need my lupine senses to be able to find this trail. Maybe Lauren or David could've done it in human form, but I can't. I smell absolutely nothing but the moist scent of freshly-fallen snow.
Once I reach the far end of a gigantic swath of field, I strip off my soaked clothes and stuff them into my pack. I Shift, shivering as the snow falls heavily onto my fur. The locket still hangs from my neck and I jump as its metallic shape taps against me, ice cold. It taunts me, holding the photograph of my broken family in its frozen jaws. I'm going to find you eventually, Dad. I just need to locate my clan first. They'll help me.
I keep an ear out for potential pursuers. The Earth's Covenant knows. They know we've broken out the two prisoners, and they know now that David's been working against the Covenant. He's a wanted man.
The thought amuses me and I begin to laugh deep in my throat. It's a strange feeling, laughing while in another creature's body. It feels unnatural. But then again, all of this feels unnatural. Every last bit of it.
I'm a mythical creature, my dad is leading a secret army of wolf-men in England, Sean's just been killed...
Don't think about that, Skye. Think about the good things. Keep searching for the trail. If it weren't for the rescue, Thirteen would've been killed, and Sean probably would have been, too. At least he got a taste of freedom first.
But he was so young...
After what seems like hours, I finally allow myself to collapse into the snow. It's so deep now that I've been struggling to take even a few steps forward. There are no traces of any sort of trail left by an earthen organism. I'm completely and utterly alone. My body aches from head to tail and my delirious mind sings with exhaustion.
Don't let your mind lapse. Don't let your primitive emotions get the best of you or you'll lose control and go feral.
I don't care! Sean is gone. The Covenant is onto my family now. I'm going to die of hypothermia and frostbite and whatever else there is out here.
The snow seeps into my joints and I sing out with pain. My body grows numb. My fangs are sharp against my lips. My heart beats slowly against the freezing ground. It beats for the hunt. The hunt...
***
When I come to, my body is sore and my skin is chilled to the bone, but I am still alive. Frozen chunks of snow mat my auburn fur, weighing me down as I attempt to lift my tired body up from the ground. I groan. This is not what was supposed to happen. I was supposed to find the trail. They'll never find me out here.
I lower my head and injest the snow, shivering violently as the freezing liquid flows down my throat. Now I'm frozen both inside and out. Perfect.
The thought occurs to me that there might be something useful in my backpack. It's a desperate thought, but maybe Lauren had put something in there. A flare maybe? I Shift so that I have use of my fingers; after a while of digging through the pack, I reach something soft and threadlike: Sejka's feather. I stroke its fringe, tears trickling down my cheeks and onto the blanket of white beneath.
Damn it. Lost in the woods and all I have is a stupid feather. How could David justify leaving me to fend for myself?
Shifting back to wolf form, I continue to plod through the snow, which stays solid even with the sun directly overhead. How long had I been sleeping? I know I let my mind go last night, but I don't regret it. I couldn't've done any damage to myself or anyone else last night anyway. I was buried neck-deep in snow and my muscles could barely move. Who cares if I go feral there, right?
Remember what the beta said. I need to learn to control myself or else my mind will slip under when I need it the most. And that would really suck. I've got the Covenant hunting me, not to mention I'm partially responsible for the death of an eight-year-old.
No. That wasn't my fault. Even if I hadn't gone back in, the soldier still would have come after us; I'm sure of it...
I burst into uncontrollable sobs, but the tears don't flow. Taking a deep breath, I sink into the snow and lay motionless, letting the cold settle in against my heart of ice.
As I drift off into nothingness, a raven caws overhead. The sound is faint but gets louder over time. I shudder as I remember hearing the distant lament of a raven as Sean drew his last breath.
"Skye."
It sounds distant, like a misty whisper from the darkest corners of my imagination.
"Skye."
I cock my head to the side, eyes searching the forest, but I neither smell nor hear anything. I'm going insane again. I'm imagining things.
"Skye, it's me."
This time the voice is more familiar. The words have a distinct accent to them, and the voice quivers as if it's spent long periods of time unused.
Am I dreaming? I turn and lift my snout to the darkness of the woods. I want to verify that my ears are not playing cruel tricks on my starved mind and body. But this is no trick.
It's a woman. Sejka.
I squint and tilt my head. Sejka walks up to me in her human form, probably anticipating that I might be jumpy if a big wolf came bounding out of the darkness. I watch, spellbound, as she gracefully approaches me with the athleticism of a young woman. I feel a strong urge to open my arms to her in an embrace. It must be the starvation and resulting insanity calling to me; I have hardly spoken to this woman before, let alone hugged her.
"Sejka?" I ask, not wanting to believe that it's really her; I don't want to get my hopes up. My canine larynx doesn't allow the words to form, however, so it comes out as a whine.
She chuckles. "Look at you. Covered in snowballs."
I glance down at my fur. Once dignified, it's now completely white and lumpy. Powder clings to every inch of my body. No wonder I haven't wanted to move; I'm probably twice as heavy now. I Shift even though I'd rather stay in my warm furry form.
As I alter my body's shape, the snowballs plat against the ground in droves. Sejka struggles to hide her laughter. I glare at her, unable to see the humour in the situation. Not after all that's happened.
"Are you all right?" she asks, seeing my expression. Her eyes grow wide, attempting to peer into my soul again. Clearly, she isn't psychic or she'd already know what's on my mind. Unless she's trying to hide it.
"No," I admit. Normally I'd have sugarcoated it, but not now.
"Where is your..." she glances around, struggling to remember the word, "uncle?"
"Taking care of something. He wouldn't say." I belatedly realize that Sejka's alone. "Where are the others? Mr. Adolphus? Margo?"
"At the campsite."
"Why'd they send you alone?"
Sejka doesn't appear to have an answer, so she changes the subject. I feel a surge of anger towards my clan for leaving me alone to die, and for sending an old woman out to rescue me. What's wrong with them? What were they thinking?
"Skye, did you and David finish the...?" she begins, but she can sense that something's wrong. I swallow, trying unsuccessfully to hold back the tears. Sejka reaches out to gently touch my shoulder. "Keep calm."
I can't keep calm.
"Let us get you back to the warm fire."
I allow her to help me through the snow, which has stopped altogether. It appears to be melting somehow, even though it's late in autumn and the earth should be well on its way to the edge of its elliptical orbit around its home star. It's as if some higher power recognizes that I need an exemption from the chilly climate.
The thought of a warm campfire and a safe place full of friendly faces is what keeps me going. Life can't be all misfortune and sorrow. There has got to be some good left in it, and Sejka is trying to help me find it. I'm grateful for that, no matter how much I'm not showing it.
***
Sejka and I rest on a snowy ledge overlooking a small valley. This must be the most beautiful spot in Canada, right here.
The sky is dark and the moon is bright. Its luminescence casts shadows over the world, lengthening the trees into long spindles that stretch towards us eerily. The branches rustle overhead, their limbs creaking with exertion as they struggle to hold the weight of the recent snowfall. The snow doesn't want to listen, though; the flakes are intent on making their own way in life, and they gladly leave their childhood homes behind, drifting down to their chosen destinies.
With the elder wolf by my side, and the moon shining brightly upon us, I notice that her silver eyes have a strange quality to them. Sejka stares ahead wistfully, appearing to take in the whole universe in one glance, and not attempting to focus on any one part. I attempt to follow her gaze, but it's impossible to do so.
My mother and I used to count stars together, a long time ago. We would spot the first star of the night and count upwards from there until thousands and thousands shone brightly in the summer skies, to our insignificant minds' amazements. Each star burst forth through the fabric of night and into our hearts, fueling our dreams for years to come. I search the sky for a constellation; for a reminder of that beautiful childhood.
I wish you were here with me, Mom. Just you, me, and Dad. Like old times.
"Breathtaking, is it not?" Sejka asks thoughtfully. "The world is truly a place of wonder."
"It is."
We silently gaze into the night sky for a few minutes. Neither of us seems to care as time trickles by. After a while, I choose to break the silence.
"The Big Dipper," I exclaim in a hushed whisper. "Up there."
I try to point it out when Sejka lifts her head to search for the constellation. She doesn't follow my gesture though, and as the moonlight bathes her silver-tinged eyes, her stare continues on, infinitely skyward.
"Sejka..." I breathe, uncertain. "You're...blind!" I burst out before I can stop myself. I then dip my head in apology, murmuring, "I'm sorry."
Sejka smiles with an air of wisdom. "Not fully blind; I see in different ways," she informs me with a little chuckle. "There is more to life than you think. If you strive to search deeper, you will truly see."
I raise my eyebrow at her advice but say nothing in response. Later on, as Sejka dozes nearby, I listen to her easy breathing. My stomach rumbles with hunger, but I ignore it. We can hunt tomorrow. The elder Lycan's words of wisdom wash over me as I close my eyes and release my spirit to the magnificent world of dreams. A wolf howls in the distance. I am not afraid. A few weeks ago, I would have been, but not today.