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~Nathan’s POV~
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She who dares to stand where I stood….
Richie drew me absolutely insane, to the point where I wanted to rip out my hair… But by god was she the only person who could ever make me change like that. Not even with Monita had I felt like this, in a way… Richie knows what she wants and it’s like a magnet.
So I kissed her.
I didn’t mean to. Not at first. But then…
She kissed back.
Her soft red lips so warm and felt just perfect in a slow passionate rhythm. My heart was beating quicker than I’ve ever felt anything before. I lifted my hand to touch the back of her head, but she was suddenly not touching me anymore.
I could still feel the shadow of her body close to mine. But when I opened my eyes she was glaring at me, confused and angry.
“I’m not faking this smile,” I say trying to lighten her suddenly dark mood. She glared at me and shook her head before going to say something, but it came out silent. She growled and turned to the wall, looking down at the ground in a contorted angry face.
“Why,” she asked coldly.
“Because I love you…”
“No! Don’t say that,” she butted in quickly. “Don’t fucking say that,” she continued and chewed her bottom lip.
“Why not,” I reply taking a step forward. She looked like she was fighting with herself, but she didn’t take a step away. That has to mean something, I think.
“Because I’m Tom’s girlfriend,” she continued with a shaky breath.
“If you loved him you wouldn’t have kissed me back,” I say going to touch her but she struck out quickly and slapped me.
“I can’t do what you did to Monita,” she fired at me angrily and I felt my heart rip at the mention of Monita. I could never bring myself to say her name aloud unless I was drunk, in which case I apparently always said her name.
“That’s cold,” I say.
“Really? Well what a bitch slap to reality Nathan, life aint like the bloody movies!”
“Not all movies are happy!” I shout back.
“True, I’m sorry. Do you want a medal for realising that?” she tilted her head slightly and the tone of sarcasm was so strong that it stung to the chest. “No. Right, well I suggest you piss of to your band and pretend like nothing happened before you get your heart crushed again mate. I hate to think that people can trust you,” she finished before turning on her heel and kept walking like nothing happened.
Why can’t I just do anything right? Why can’t I just find someone who loves me?
“Because you’re a jerk who slept with the mental chick. Don’t play Mr Poor-Me-Who-Got-Dumped-Because-I-Cheated-On-The-Girl-Of-My-Dreams!” I could hear Richie reply in my head.
“I’ve screwed up,” I say aloud and shake my head, “And it’s not going to be right until I put it right,” I think and head off after Richie. Tom beating me I’d deal with later, I was more scared of Richie.
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~Monita’s POV~
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I laughed at Benji as we sat on the top of the short stubby building in the city. Unlike most of the buildings around here, this one stood out with a thick red brick and a particular ugliness that worked to its potential.
I gingerly reached down and touched the swelling baby bump. It was due any day now.
“Do you want to call him?” Benji asked and I looked up quickly to meet his warm blue eyes. I shook my head and gazed down at his feet before looking over the bright city life. He means Nath…
“No. I don’t want to ruin his day,” I say with a sigh. I felt Benji touch my jaw and gently lift my chin to look into his face, his warm features gentle and kind.
“The guy’s a total dick if he doesn’t love you, he’s even more of a dick if he doesn’t want to have anything to do with your child,” Benji said calmly but I could tell he was angry about the idea of someone being like that. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
“If it’s a boy,” I say and look up through my eyelashes at him, “Do you mind if I call him Benji?”
“Seriously!” He exclaimed and I bit my bottom lip shyly and nodded,
“Yeah, you’ve been through a lot with me. You’ve done more for me than I could have ever asked someone and you’ve done it without a question or doubt. You’re kind and gentle and generous, I can only hope than my child will be like you,” I say and stopped at that when I realised I was gushing. The smile stayed planted on his face and if anything grew larger,
“It would be an honour,” Benji continued looking into my eyes. “You’ll always have a place here no matter what happens,” he continued and kept his hand at my shoulder. He slowly leant down and I could feel myself mimicking his movements, drawing myself closer to him. The warmth in his eyes made my heart beat quicken to a lightening pace. Then his breath tickled the skin of my neck and sent a shudder down my spine.
“HELLO!!!” Someone shouted and Benji pulled away with a small curse.
“Sorry,” he said, but a smile was still on his face, “But you remember that girl I told you about,” he continued.
“Yeah. Richie right?”
“Yeah, well she’s coming over. I totally forgot, but you’ll love her,” he said and another shout rang out. He smiled and motioned for me to stay here before he ran over to the door and vanished.
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~Nathan’s POV~
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I came to a stop at the door that was closed. I know this had to be the place, I could hear Richie’s laugh rolling through the walls. I took a shaky breath and wished I knew how to pick lock the door, but I fumbled around for moment and thought about maybe trying to do it with a credit card, but I doubted that would work. Have I tried to see if it’s actually open? I think and almost laughed at my stupidity. Sure enough the door was open, so I carefully slipped in and stepped through the flash looking house to where the voices were coming from.
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~Monita’s POV~
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“So what do you do for a job?” I asked the pretty looking Richie. She had gentle features despite her hard sounding attitude.
“I’m a muso,” she said smiling, “Guitarist to be more precise,” she continued. There was a loud crash from the lounge opening up to the roof of the building, separated only by large glass doors with metal framework. I looked over and felt my heart drop to the floor. “Nathan! What the fuck! Why did you follow me,” I heard Richie growl.
“Monita?” Nathan asked wide eyed with only eyes on me. I could feel my heart thundering in my chest hard. Richie looked over angrily towards me and then back to Nathan.
“Nath,” I reply and try to lift my head but suddenly felt scarred again. I left him with only a note that wasn’t even my words. He should have moved on, he should have gotten over me. That was the whole point, I was dragging him down, I think feeling teary eyed already. I pushed it far away and lifted my chin and bit down on my bottom lip.
“So you’re the jerk!” Benji commented.
“Wait so you cheated on her!” Richie stated at Nath.
“You told them!” I exclaim shocked.
“Everyone knew about it Monita. I was on the front page of the paper for a month!” he exclaimed, “I loved you so much,” he continued and took a step forward. Both Richie and Benji stepped forward to stop him, but I felt alone without them by my side. Even with Richie I felt a little stronger, even though I didn’t know her.
“Nathan don’t start this over again,” I say and shake my head.
“I’m not giving up on you Monita. I love you more than anything in this universe.”
“You are such an arse,” Richie said sourly and shook her head. He glanced over towards her looking hurt with big puppy dog eyes. Those misty green eyes watching from a distance, so close yet so far away. I wanted nothing more than to give in and hug him, scream at him and pull his hair and kiss him until there was no breath left in the world.
“Nathan you slept with Carly,” I say feeling a tear run down my cheek.
“It was a drunken mistake. I would do anything to have you back!” he said looking me hard in the eye, “I still carry around the ring,” he continued and then he looked down and swallowed. “Is it…”
“Yes,” I reply and I saw him smile despite the tears in his eyes. He looked proud, so happy, but only 19 with a world ahead of him. A world at his feet. I can’t ask him to be a dad at 19.
Then it felt like a ripping and I clutched my stomach. I’m going into labour.
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~Nathan’s POV~
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She dropped suddenly and I was at her side before Benji could do anything about it. She was panting heavily already before she let out another cry.
“What’s going on?” he shouted.
“She’s going into fucking labour you arse!” Richie shouted back at him angrily.
“Stop shouting!” I say trying to stay calm. Richie glared at me,
“You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve you know that,” she said coldly.
“Call an ambulance,” I say and shove my phone into her hand. That made her even more angry and Benji beside her chuckle. Everyone stopped and turned their attention back to Monita when she let out another small gasp and cry.
“Shhh, I’m here,” I say and reach out to touch her face. Her eyes lit up momentarily as she looked over to me.
“Don’t leave me,” she begged, “Don’t go anywhere.”
“There’s nowhere else for me to be, but by your side,” I reply and a smile twitched over her face. I smiled and leant down to kiss her.