(n.) beautiful thinking; a well mind.
"Stupid, you're so fucking stupid!" Raneem berated herself once Zane was gone. She had admitted that lust was enslaving her to an elf – a being that believed just so! What's more, she used an expression both Adam and the king would give her an earful for. And how apt was that expression for her self-abandonment? Fuck me? She could have just said shit and it wouldn't have been as embarrassing. And it wouldn't have been closer to the truth of what she wanted.
By the gods, she wanted him to have his way with her! But it was not right and she wouldn't do it. Never do it. Was this the reason why her kind had raped an elf? Because they were much too alluring and tempting? Was this the only reason why her people committed the sin the elves could not forgive? Now she knew what it was like to call on the last vestiges of self-control in front of an elf in heat. Even she would blame the elf if she ever jumped him, claiming that he had compelled her.
She understood now the root of their differences. Elves were the epitome of control and patience. Their nature allowed them to do so and they expect humans to exert the same measure of control by the strength of their wills. It was why the races had trusted each other before the divide. The loss of control by her people over an elf who tested the limits of human endurance was the only cause.
Perhaps the division could be reconciled. And she would do her best to reconcile them once she has the throne. The races were each other's better half and it would be better for both if they worked together instead of working apart.
She took a deep breath and changed. Again.
The thoughts that were plaguing her would make her go insane. That and the fact that she was spending too much time in the prince's chamber that every thought she turned to always went back to him. She had to get it out of her system. She had to exert the control the elves were no longer expecting of her. Her efforts would be the only way any semblance of confidence could be restored to humans. And against, the express order of the prince, she went out and took a walk.
The visions of Treliron cleared her thoughts and the melodious merriment of the elves from the direction of the lake where they bathed calmed her. Part of her was amazed at how the elves retained control of their lusts as they bathed in the lake together. Another part of her was puzzled at how they could display themselves at each other so easily. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why a man and a woman's union meant so little to them. They did not share the intimacy of a husband and wife who would only bare all to their mates.
There was a lot both races could learn from one another. Her dread to rule slowly turned into excitement at the prospect of making the two races see eye to eye once again. She only had to return to Gwahan and play the politics of her kingdom right. It would be difficult to reconcile them again after all the bloodshed, but it was not impossible. She was with the elves and she could see that acceptance of them was easy for her as long as she forgave their atrocities and she let go of her own prejudice and hatred of them.
An elf landed in front of her stopping her in her tracks. Her hands gripped her skirts and her jaw clenched seeing Lucas. He was not weaving any magic on her. At least, none that she could tell. But he stared at her with an intensity she had only felt when Zane looked at her. But it was not the same feeling. Zane's piercing stare made her feel vulnerable and open to him – but safe. Lucas's own made her feel as if she was a condemned prisoner. He felt like a judge trying to find more faults in a horse thief than stealing the crown's prized steed.
"Lucas," she regarded him and thought about her earlier thoughts. It was possible to reunite them if she, herself begun the process. "How are you? I hope you are well."
"Prince Zane has commanded you to stay in his chambers," he replied cuttingly, "And you go against his express command. Do you not know that he will be responsible for anything that you do or anything that happens to you? Or do you wish to bring evil on him and give his enemies reason to strip him of his titles?"
She was taken aback. She knew he was keeping her for her own protection. Though how grave the consequences were, she did not know.
"We are not like you humans who come by status because of birth. We work for it." His hand gripped the pommel of his dagger. "I swear, by the gods, if you destroy the prince, I will kill you at the cost of my life."
With her new perspective, she could see him in a new light. His actions could only be attributed to loyalty – if one that is based on blind faith. A loyal liege like him would be difficult to find among humans, and maybe even among elves. Doubtless, he was an important part of Zane's power base and she was thankful she told him she did not want him punished when Zane asked.
"Forgive my ignorance," she said, "Will you walk with me back and ensure my safety?"
He looked at her with suspicion. "You ask this after what I have done to you?" The grip on his dagger tightened.
"No," she shook her head, "I do not trust you as much as you do not trust me. But I ask this on the loyalty that you serve your prince and the honor I owe him." She didn't blame him if he suspected her of pulling tricks on him. She would be wary of such sudden kind responses from nobles as well.
He nodded and walked an arm's length beside her, his hand never leaving the pommel of his dagger. His head held high and straight, but his eyes were wary and watchful. It was all the more reason for her to steel herself as she felt the familiar stirring between her thighs. It was a light stirring, unlike earlier, and though she could feel herself get more and more sensitive, she held herself together, hoping that his senses were not open enough for him to notice the wetness that was beginning to pool in her.
"I want you to know," she looked at him to steel herself as they walked, "-that I hold no grudge against what you did. You acted on what you thought was right and I commend that. I am just a little frightened at the zeal in which you accomplish things. I wish for there to be no barrier between us."
He only grunted in response, but it was enough for her that he knew she was not an enemy and that she wanted to mend things. It was not a large step, but at least, it was a step towards progress.
Lucas drew back the curtains to Zane's room and his face wrinkled. He then glared at her. "Cheap whore," he growled and stormed off.
Raneem bit her lower lip as the pressure between her legs increased. She didn't know if Lucas noticed her current arousal or – she shuddered – that she came in Zane's room, but she knew she had just destroyed whatever positive rapport that she built up with him. At the same time, she was also glad he left as her breath hitched at the sudden assaults she was experiencing on her sex.
One moment, it felt as if something were playing with her intimate place, then at the next blink, it was gone. It was on and off and Raneem threw herself on the bed, tempted to touch herself to ease the torture. Earlier, she found out that the only way for her urges to ebb was to let go. It was a glorious feeling, but the only way to get there was through constantly feeling whatever it was so intensely and continuously. And right now, it was apparent that these bursts would not get her there.
She writhed stilling her hands as she held onto the sheets, wanting to have her release so badly. "Zane...please..." she panted, not knowing what she wanted. What she did know was, she wanted to feel Zane's soothing touches as well. She wanted his black hair, gliding on her as his lips and hands drew a trail of artwork on her body. She wanted those green eyes that always looked at her as if she were prey to gaze at her now. For his deep, husky voice to tell her things that only they would share.
They might have only been dreams, but they calmed and comforted her. And right now, her body was screaming for his touch and there was nothing she could do about it.
Hey! How was today's update? I hope it satisfied you all. What do you think about Raneem's decision regarding Lucas? Was it wrong or right for you?
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