Camila sat on Lauren's sofa with a handful of skittles in her mouth as she watched Despicable Me 2. She was surprised that Lauren had actually let her watch the movie. Lauren usually had her limits and she always told Camila she could pick whatever she wanted but then turned down almost every movie Camila suggested. This was the first time that she hadn't.
Lauren sat quietly beside her on the sofa. She kept her eyes mostly on her phone not bothering to even pretend to watch the movie. Camila tried to ignore the way their thighs brushed anytime either one of them moved. Lauren was sitting super close and to an outsider it wouldn't be normal but for them it was. Some part of them was always touching when they were in private. It came naturally and it scared her how natural it really was. Lauren didn't even seem to notice.
Her thoughts, though, kept racing back to Zayn and how strange he had been acting earlier that day. For the last few hours at school she had managed to keep her distance for him. She didn't want him bringing Lauren up to her again. She'd probably end up spilling her guts to him and he'd break up with Lauren and Lauren would never talk to her again. She wouldn't be able to take that. She could take them not talking for a few days, maybe a week but any longer was just far too much for her to take.
"Zayn was being weird today." She mumbled once she realized that she had zoned out long enough for her to have no idea what was going on in the movie. Lauren kept her eyes down on her phone as she dropped some skittles in her mouth. Camila bit her lip as she looked over at her.
"Weird how?"
Camila sighed as she shrugged her shoulders and fiddled with her fingers now. "I don't know. It was after you found out Shawn and I were dating." She tried to ignore how Lauren cringed slightly. "Normani asked him why you were so upset and he said to ask me... I said you were jealous-"
"I'm not jealous." Lauren finally looked at her and Camila gave her a pointed look. Lauren shook her head with a huff. "I'm not..." she mumbled under her breath as she looked away from her and to the T.V. She didn't sound convincing to either one of them.
"Anyways, I said you were jealous and he said 'I wonder why that is'... I don't know Lauren, I just felt like he-he knows that we've-"
"Zayn doesn't know shit." Lauren cut her off for the second time as she looked back at her. "He's suspicious at best but he has no proof and he'll forget about it soon enough. I wouldn't worry about it Camz." She said with a shake of her head. Camila bit her lip but nodded her head as she looked back to her fiddling fingers. Lauren placed her hand over top of them causing Camila to look back at her. "And besides if he ever does find out then I'll handle it. You don't need to worry about him."
"I just feel like we haven't been fair to him." She whispered as she looked over Lauren's face. She had just realized how close the older girl was to her now. They had subconsciously leaned towards each other and now Lauren was only a breath away from her. She couldn't remember how long it had been since she'd been this close to Lauren but she had missed it. She could smell her shampoo, see the hint of hazel in her green eyes and feel her breath.
"It was all fair. Loopholes, remember Karla?" She asked as she reached up and touched a lock of brown hair. Camila fought back the urge to lean into the touch but Lauren clearly saw her struggle and moved her hand to cup her face instead. Camila sighed and allowed her eyes to close as Lauren's thumb stroked her lower lip.
God, she loved her.
"Let me kiss you." Lauren whispered and Camila slowly opened her eyes only to find that Lauren had leaned in a lot closer, her eyes on Camila's lips as she tilted her head slightly. Camila couldn't think straight. All she knew was that she wanted this really, really bad but she couldn't remember why she shouldn't. All she could think of was Lauren and how she missed the feel of her soft lips, so she gave a small nod of her head and then Lauren's lips were on her own.
She heard herself whimper at the same time Lauren released a desperate moan, both melting into the kiss and Camila could tell that she wasn't the only one that was missing this. Lauren kissed her like she not only wanted her but needed her. Lauren cupped her face with both hands as she pushed Camila's lips apart with her tongue and began to kiss her harder. Camila had her hand cupping the back of Lauren's neck, fingers tangled in dark hair as her other hand dug into Lauren's jean covered thigh.
Lauren soon dominated the kiss, stroking the roof of Camila's mouth with her tongue before sucking on her upper lip. Camila quickly caught Lauren's lower lip in return and bit down on it roughly causing Lauren to moan before their tongues found each other once more. They kissed slowly, yet passionately until they couldn't breathe and they were forced to pull away from each other. Lauren kept their forehead's pressed together as they caught their breaths.
Camila bit her lip as she suddenly remembered why she shouldn't be doing this. She was in a relationship with Shawn now. Sweet Shawn, and he definitely didn't deserve this. She felt the tears burn behind her closed eyes. She was such a bad person. "I-I can't do this with you Lauren." She whispered before she pulled back and she stood up as she watched Lauren open her eyes to look at her.
"Camila-"
"No! It was fine before because I wasn't in a relationship and you with your loopholes and all that bull but now I can't. Shawn is a good boyfriend." She said as she took a step back to try and put more space between them. She watched as Lauren's face steeled, every emotion leaving it besides the anger. She hated it when Lauren gave her that look.
"But you don't love him Camila."
"That's not for you to decide Lauren." She spat back as she quickly reached down and picked up her bag. "I just can't do this with you anymore." She shook her head and wiped away a tear that had managed to free itself from her eye as she spun on her heels to leave. She heard Lauren jump up quickly before a hand was gripping her wrist.
"W-Wait. Wait. Don't leave Camz." Lauren spun her around and was flush against her in a heartbeat and Camila tried not to notice how her own breath hitched at the full body contact. Lauren's other hand cupped the back of her neck and her thumb stroked Camila's jaw line. "You can't leave me." She whispered.
Camila took in deep breath as she steadied herself. She had to be strong for this. "How could I leave you when we were never together to begin with." She whispered and watched as Lauren's eyes narrowed into glare and became cold as her lips pulled down into a frown, her jaw clenching.
"Damn." She hissed out and Camila felt her grip on her wrist tighten as the thumb on her jaw moved down to press into her throat instead, right against her windpipe. She took in a deep breath at the thrill that rushed through her from her slightly restricted air way. She loved how Lauren knew everything about her, all her kinks and weaknesses but she also hated it because Lauren would use anything to her advantage and right now she almost had Camila's knees buckling from the slight breath play. "When did that tongue become so sharp?" She growled before shoving Camila away from her roughly.
She took in a deep breath at finally being free from Lauren's space, just being too close to her made her thoughts blur, mind scrambled and body heat up. Every part of her had a reaction when she was close to Lauren. Camila reached up to touch her neck though Lauren hadn't pressed down hard enough to actually hurt her. Lauren's eyes remained hard and her face before she was brushing pass Camila.
"Don't forget to lock the door on your way out." She mumbled before Camila heard her marching up the stairs. She bit her lip as she fought back the tears. She didn't get how Lauren could be so cold all the time. She turned quickly once more and slowly made her way out of the Jauregui house, making sure to lock the door behind her. Only moments ago Lauren was showing her how much she actually cared through that kiss. It amazed Camila how easily she could just shut that off.
She wiped her tears as she began the long walk home. She had to remember that this was what she wanted. She wanted to end whatever was between her and Lauren. She had Shawn now and he was who she needed to focus on. He was the one that deserved her kisses and her love. Not Lauren.
"Camila?" Camila was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't realized a car had been creeping next to her for a few minutes now. She looked over to find Normani's worried eyes staring back at her. "Are you okay? Do you need a ride?" She asked. Camila tried to smile as she nodded her head before climbing into the car.
Normani was silent for the most part, clearly not wanting to push Camila who was sniffling and wiping her stray tears as she tried not to think of Lauren. They pulled up to Camila's house and Camila looked up at it as she bit her lip. Normani stared over at her with a small frown before she reached over and touched her arm.
"If you ever need to talk Camila..."
Camila bit her lip harder before she finally broke down. She couldn't stop it, the tears she was trying to hold in came rushing down her cheeks as a sob broke from her throat. She covered her face with her hands and she bent slightly to rest her head against her knees while she sobbed. Normani quickly bent over the console to rub her back and stroke her hair as she whispered reassuring things to her.
"Does this have to do with Shawn? Did you guys break up?" she asked, concern in her voice.
"No! It's not Shawn!" she sobbed.
"Then what's wrong, Mila? Please talk to me." Normani pleaded softly as she tucked a strand of soft brown hair behind her ear. "Maybe I can help?"
"It's Lauren!" She sobbed even louder at the girl's name. Normani's eyebrows came together in confusion. "We've been having sex for months, almost a year!" She pushed her eyes harder into her own palms and tried to ignore how wet they had become. She heard Normani gasp and the hand on her back pause but she kept going. "And I think I'm in love with her but God I think I hate her too because she's just- she's a bitch! God Normani, she's such a fucking bitch! One minute she's so loving and then the next she's so cold to me and I can't take it when she's like that because I honestly think I need her in my life. I need her but she doesn't need me..."
The car was silent once more and Camila couldn't feel Normani's hands on her back or hair anymore so she guessed she had backed away when she was doing her outburst. "Camila, I-I honestly have no words... you're sleeping with Lauren?" Normani asked, shock written all over her face. She ran her fingers through her hair. "Okay-okay. I didn't see that coming... you've been sleeping with Lauren... for months?" Camila took a deep breath as she slowly sat back up and wiped her face. "Is that where you're coming from? Did you just come from Lauren's?" she asked and Camila nodded her head.
"But we didn't have sex. We haven't slept together since she got back together with Zayn." She sniffled and wiped her puffy eyes some more. She had rubbed them so much they actually hurt to touch. "I don't know why I keep letting her do this to me because he'll always be her first choice. She'll never love me the way I love her Normani." Fresh tears entered her eyes and she bit her lip to stop the sob that wanted to join them.
"Oh Camila... you don't know that." Normani reached over to rub her shoulder. Camila only bit back another sob because she did know that. "Okay. How about I take you inside, we grab some ice cream and you tell me all about it from the beginning?" Normani suggested with a nod of her head. Camila wiped more of her tears away before she slowly nodded her head. She was tired of keeping this all to herself. She needed someone to talk to and Normani was her best friend. She always did her best to help and understand Camila.
Normani shut her car off as Camila stepped out. They walked up the steps together and into Camila's house. Camila went to her room and climbed into her night clothes as Normani made her way into the kitchen to get ice cream and two spoons. They cuddled up together in Camila's bed as they shared the ice cream and Camila told her everything, from beginning to end minus all the rough sex details. Normani didn't need to know that much.
"Wow Camila." Normani whispered as she stared down at the younger girl. Camila had laid her head down onto Normani's lap who began to run her fingers through her hair. "I mean... that's a lot. I can't believe that none of us noticed it before." She frowned with a shake of her head as Camila licked the ice cream off her spoon.
"Lauren and I are good at keeping secrets." She mumbled.
"So I see." Normani nodded, still taking in all that she just heard. "Man I honestly don't know what you guys see in her. I mean Zayn is in love with her. You're in love with her and even Niall's had feelings for her before." She said with a shake of her head. Her face showing her complete confusion at the fact that everyone seemed to be in love with such a nasty girl.
Camila's head perked up slightly as she looked up at Normani with a look of surprise before she giggled. "Niall had a crush on Lauren?" She asked. Normani rolled her eyes playfully with a nod of her head and a smile.
"It's a long story." She chuckled and Camila joined her as she placed her head back on her lap.
"Well if you've ever seen the softer side of Lauren, the one she only shows behind closed doors then maybe you could understand." She sighed as her frown came back and she appeared to be back to thinking solely of Lauren. Normani frowned down at her as she began to stroke her hair softly once more.
"Well I highly doubt I'll ever see it. Lauren hates my guts." She chuckled and Camila smiled a bit.
"True." She giggled before a familiar jiggle caught both of their attentions. Camila frowned as her heart dropped into her stomach. It was her ring tone for Lauren. She bit her lip before she quickly sat up and grabbed her phone, staring at the picture of her and Lauren that came up when she called. She moved her finger over the green phone icon on her screen before she stopped herself.
"Who is it?" Normani asked as she leaned over closer to Camila to try and see the screen.
"It's Lauren." She mumbled before watching as the screen finally went black and the song stopped. She sighed as she dropped the phone on her lap. It wasn't like Lauren to call right after one of their fights but it was the first time that Lauren made her walk home alone. She was probably just checking to see if she made it home okay but Camila kind of felt like she should let Lauren worry for a while. She felt like she deserved it. She shouldn't have made Camila walk home alone in the first place.
"I think you did the right thing not answering it." Normani nodded her approval and Camila looked to her with a small smile.
"Thanks."
Normani nodded again as she reached up and rubbed Camila's shoulder. "Just keep being strong and the pain will get easier I promise. Before you know it you'll be over Lauren just like Niall was." She said with a roll of her eyes and a small laugh. Camila nodded her head though she didn't actually agree. She had been in love with Lauren for a long time and best friends with her for even longer so it wouldn't be as easy for her to just drop her feelings for her as it was for Niall.
She looked down once her phone started to play the same ring tone and the picture came up once more. She bit her lip because her heart really wanted to answer it. She wanted to talk to Lauren even though all the other girl did lately was hurt her feelings and break her heart but Camila came back every time, then again so did Lauren.
"Maybe I should just-"
"Nope!" Normani snatched the phone from her quickly before she could answer it and she gasped as Normani held it out and away from her. "Tonight is a new beginning for you Camila Cabello. You're going to leave Lauren behind. She's in a relationship with Zayn and you're in a relationship with Shawn. You have to move forward with that and be strong!" she said with a nod of her head.
"Right." Camila agreed weakly as the phone stopped ringing. She slumped slightly as she stared at it before taking a deep breath because Normani was right. She was going to start anew tonight. The relationship she had with Lauren was in the past. She needed to get over it and move on with Shawn. The phone vibrated with a new text and Normani opened it for them both to see.
Lolo: Just tell me you got home okay (9:48pm)
Normani and Camila looked at each other and Camila fought back a small smile. "Told you she was sweet sometimes." She mumbled as she fought the urge to rip the phone from Normani's hands and quickly text back. Normani shook her head as she texted Lauren back for Camila instead.
"She'll only hurt you again like this Camila. For right now I think you two should get your space from each other and maybe somewhere down the line you can be friends again but right now your relationship is extremely toxic." She said sadly with a shake of her head and Camila bit her lip, a part of her trying to resist from believing Normani's words.
Camz: I'm home (9:49pm)
Lauren bit her nail as she paced her room while staring down at the only text that Camila had sent her. She didn't reply to anything else Lauren had sent her. Camila must have been really upset with her because she never ignored her for this long when Lauren was actually putting in the effort. She had tried calling her a few more times and sent texts about how sorry she was for making her walk home but Camila continued with the radio silence.
"Fuck this shit." She whispered to herself as she quickly moved over to her closet. She pulled out her jacket and put it on before reaching for her boots. She'd just go over there and make Camila talk to her. She felt like Camila was doing this on purpose. She knew how much Lauren hated to be ignored.
"Where are you going?"
"Jesus!" She hissed as she grabbed her racing heart before looking over to the window just in time to watch Zayn climb through. "You almost gave me a heart attack. Are you happy?" She asked as she finished putting her boots on. "You could have called before coming over you know." She mumbled as she turned to look at him once she was done.
He remained by the window with his hands in his pockets. He held a deep frown on his lips and his eyebrows pulled together as if he was thinking hard about something and had been for a while now. "What's the matter with you?" she asked as she eyed his tense state. He took in a deep breath as he ran his fingers through his thick hair.
"I know about you and Camila."
Her heart skipped a beat and she felt her hands become sweaty so she balled them up. "What are you talking about?" she asked while shaking her head. He sighed and rolled his eyes as if he was already tired with the conversation.
"Come on Lauren. Please don't play dumb. I know you've been seeing Camila! I saw the two of you together. Earlier down on your couch, I was standing on the porch and I saw you two kiss through the window." He explained and she swallowed thickly but remained silent. "I thought I'd come over and surprise you but boy was I surprised when I found my girlfriend with her tongue down another girl's throat. I had my suspicions. I really did but then I thought I was going crazy but it turned out I wasn't. My girlfriend was really cheating on me with her best friend"
"Zayn, I've never cheated on you-"
"Lauren I saw you!" he shouted as he stepped closer.
"That was the first time!" she yelled back, matching his tone because no one yelled at her, not even when she was in the wrong. "Any other time I hooked up with Camila we weren't together! I made sure of that!"
"So you think that makes it better!? That makes it okay!? I would have never played this break up, get back together game with you had I known you had feelings for Camila!"
"I don't have feelings for Camila, Zayn!" She denied quickly because she couldn't admit to that. It would shatter the illusion that she made for herself about everything being okay. The illusion that Camila was still just her best friend and Zayn was still her perfect boyfriend that she was still madly in love with. But who was she kidding? Everything was falling apart right in front of her eyes. First with Camila and now Zayn.
"Could have fooled me." He scuffed back at her before he finally looked away from her, running his hand through his hair once more. "With how you kissed her the way you did. I can't remember a time where you kissed me like that." He slowly moved forward and sat down on her bed. She watched his movements, still frowning and her fists balled up tightly. "You should have just told me Lauren." He sighed while closing his eyes, seemly defeated.
She sighed before she slowly moved to sit down next to him. "I'm sorry Zayn. I just thought if I was only with her when we weren't together then it'd be okay and I'd get to have you both." She looked to him and took in a deep breath as he looked up at her. She closed her eyes as she thought of Camila, her pretty eyes and perfect smile. Her beautiful laugh and her silky smooth hair. "I love you Zayn... I do but..."
but I love her too
She didn't say it out loud but Zayn could see it in her eyes, hear her saying it in his own head. He knew Lauren would never say it out loud and she'd never even admit it to herself but they both knew that it was true so they just continued to stare at each other instead. Her eyes almost looked pleading for him to understand.
"Do you think it's possible to be in love with two people at once?"
"I do." He mumbled with a small shrug of his shoulders. "But I don't think that you can love them equally. I think you always love one more than the other." He rose to his feet and she watched him as he moved back to the window. "So I guess it's up to you to figure out which one you love more."
"I don't want to do that." She whispered while shaking her head. He sighed as he put his foot up on the window ledge.
"You have to Lauren. I know it'll be hard but it's a choice you have to make. You can't have us both." He said while shaking his head. "You're only hurting me, yourself and Camila by keeping things this way. You have to choose." He kept his eyes locked with hers as he spoke and she could see the hurt and pain inside of them. It clenched at her heart at the thought that she was the one that caused him to feel that way, just like how it hurt her to see Camila so upset earlier that day. She was the cause of all of their pain. "I just want you to know though if you choose Camila.... I'll still be here. We'll always be friends."
"Zayn..." She sighed as she felt her eyes burn with tears but she held them in because she didn't cry for anyone. She simply nodded her head afraid her voice would give her away if she spoke anymore. He offered a weak smile before he climbed out the window, disappearing from where he came from and leaving her in her room alone once more.
She took her jacket off and removed her boots slowly. She needed to just stop and think, rushing off to see Camila was only going to confuse her more. She had been so selfish and to satisfy herself she had hurt both Camila and Zayn. She was a bad person and maybe she didn't deserve either of them.
Original A/N: Man...I don't know about you guys but this chapter was pretty intense for me! lol. I hope you guys enjoyed it and again I'm sorry for any mistakes I might have. Until next time!
T-Princess/N: Hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did!
Oh, and don't forget to check out my original story Do As I Say. Is also Camren and #DomCamila #SubLauren
Royal Kisses!