Chapter 21 I Deserve It
**LOUIS' POV**
"Abby!" I yelled as I tried to catch her but she closed the door. I tried opening it but it was locked. Dammit!
What happened!? Did I say something wrong? Oh shit, it's because of the fight that happened isn't?
"Abby! What are you doing in there? What happened? Did I say something wrong?" I asked her.
**ABIGAIL/ABBY'S POV**
I cried, and cried, and cried. Stupid hate. I wish I was perfect, but nooo, I was made to be ugly, stupid, worthless, useless everything! I hate myself! I deserve to die! It even says in the hate! Why can't I just be normal people who are perfect and live perfect lives! Why!? Why can't that be me!? It's not fair!
"Abby! What are you doing in there What happened? Did I say something wrong?" I hear Louis voice say.
"N-no. It's nothing about y-you Louis" I croaked out.
I then saw something caught my eye. A shiny, silver, sharp razor.
"Abby, please open the door, we can talk about it, just the two of us, I won't tell anything to the lads, just please open the door" he said.
"I-I'm sorry Louis"
I then grabbed the razor.
"Why are you sorry? Nothing is your fault. The fight that we had earlier, it's all my fault, I'm supposed to be saying sorry. I'm sorry. I was just getting angry. Abby, please forgive me. I promise you, nothing is your fault" he explained to me but I didn't answer back.
"Abby! Please! Everything will be much better if we just talk about it! I promise!" Louis said and I can hear him panicking.
"I'm really, really sorry Louis" I said. I then took the blade out and dropped the razor.
**LOUIS' POV**
"Abby! Please! Everything will be much better if we just talk about it! I promise!" I said to her. I love her so so much. As friends and more than friends. She means the world to me. She is so special. She is perfect.
"I'm really, really sorry Louis" I heard her fragile voice say. After she said that I heard something drop.
"Abby, what was tha-" Oh no. I then ran out of her room.
"BOYS!" I screamed.
**ABIGAIL/ABBY'S POV** (a/n so sorry for the short pov's!)
I pulled my sleeve up ready to cut myself. Ok, I'm going to cut myself. Just like what I did a long time ago.
*FLASHBACK*
**5 years ago** (a/n when Abigail was 12 years old)
I was at my locker getting my books out until someone pulled me from behind which made me drop all my things.
"You're stupid and worthless! You deserve to die!" I was then face to face with the school bully, Drake.
He then pushed me up against the lockers and I cried as I felt the pain in my back.
"Go kill yourself!" He yelled at me and pushed me to the ground. He then punched and kicked me in all different places. I felt pain everywhere. There were people all standing around me not doing anything, just staring at me as soon as Drake left. I got up painfully, grabbed my books and rushed to the bathrooms.
I cried quietly as I ran into one of the cubicles. I accidentally dropped my pencil case and picked everything up, until I saw my sharpener. It was all broken into pieces.
I then grabbed the the blade. I deserve it. I deserve the pain that I'm going to get. I deserve being ugly. I deserve being stupid. I deserve being worthless. I deserve to cut myself.
I then slowly lifted up my shirt so it was showing my stomach.
*slash* for being ugly
*slash* for being stupid
*slash* for being worthless
*slash* for being useless
Ok, that's it for now. I then put the blade down and grabbed toilet paper and rubbed off the blood. I didn't feel any pain at all actually when I was cutting. I then got new toilet paper and placed it in top of my new and first cuts. I fixed up my uniform so it looked like nothing happened. Thank god my school jumper is dark blue, so you couldn't see any blood at all. The warning bell then rang so I got out of the toilets and went to my last period for the day.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
I lifted up my shirt and saw my scars. There were more than 4 scars, there were 7 all together. 4 were the ones when I was at school, and the other 3 was when I was at home. I stopped cutting when I went to a new school and that's when I had a much better life. I had real friends that care for me and I had no bullies to face to face with. I was living a normal and happy life, until I was then kidnapped by One Direction. I then had a completely different but still good life.
I then heard banging and knocking on the door.
"Abby! Please open the door! Please don't do this to me! I love you so so so much princess! I care about you so much! Please don't do what you are thinking!" An Irish accent cried.
"I-I'm sorry" I whispered, but they couldn't hear me.
I then pulled up my sleeve higher.
Do it Abby. Cut yourself. You deserve it. My mind told me. I then did it, before it was too late.
*slash* for being stupid
*slash* for being ugly
*slash* for being useless
*slash* for being worthless
Before I could do another cut, the door was burst open. The blade was snatched off my hand and I was carried out of the bathroom. My cuts were then bandaged and weren't bleeding anymore.
"Abby, why?" Niall asked me as the other boys left so we could have a private talk. I kept my head down.
I shook my head not wanting to answer the question.
"Please Abby, what made you wanted to do that?"
I pointed to my phone. My phone is the reason why I cut myself. The hate is the reason why I cut myself. All the comment that's really hurt me is the reason why I cut myself.
"The phone?" He questioned in confusion. I nodded. He then went over to the table and picked it up. It was still on so he read it and his eyes widened.
"Aw baby girl, it's going to be alright I promise, I know what it's like" he said as he came over to me and hugged me. I hugged him back and started crying on his chest. He rubbed my back and made me stop crying after a while. He then lifted my chin up so I was facing him.
"I promise baby girl, they're not true. You can draw, you are the most talented person I've ever seen. You are definitely not worthless or useless, the boys and I care about you so so much, and we love you a lot. And you definitely do not deserve to die or kill yourself. You're beautiful, talented, special, unique, gorgeous, funny. You're perfect Abby. You mean the world to us" he said to me.
"I love you so much Niall, thank you for being such a great brother. Without you, I would have been in so many problems that I cannot solve" I said to him.
"It's all fine princess, don't have to thank me. You feel better now?" He asked and I nodded.
"Ok, just have some rest, you need it" he told me.
"Kk" I said as I got under the covers.
"There's a cup if water on the table if you need it" he said as he finished tucking me in.
"Thank you Nialler"
"Ok, bye Abb- oh! One more thing before I forget!" He said as he kneeled down next to me and gently grabbed my left arm.
"Promise me you won't ever cut again" he said and put a hand over the cuts.
I looked at the bandaids or my wrist then straight into Niall's eyes.
"I promise"