It's Valentine's Day.
Usually a day I avoided like a plague. Not only because of the sickening couples making doe eyes at each other all day, but because single girls would be on the prowl. Not always a bad thing, unless you hooked up with one of them on Valentine's Day. Then they'd think it was fate of some thing like that and get even clingier. Trust me.
But this year is different. This year I had a girlfriend - god, that still sounded weird to say - or whatever Suzy and I were. We weren't exactly dating, but we were way past regular friends. She was fun to hang out with. And one hell of a kisser. I wasn't lying about that. That girl had the ability to get me hot within seconds. And I took extreme pleasure in making her kiss me in public whenever I could.
Not to mention, Mark talked less shit about me when Suzy was around, and Eomma seemed happier because of it. Either way, I thought I'd surprise with some flowers when I picked her up for school. Sort of as a thank-you for making my life bearable the past couple of weeks. Suzy was probably more of a pick-roses type of girl than red roses. Pink seemed sweeter.
When I grabbed my keys from the front table, I accidentally knocked over Eomma's planner. Little business cards and sticky notes spilled everywhere, littering the floor. Eomma was a hoarder when it came to business cards.
"Aish." I started stacking everything together when a letter caught my eye. A card with familiar handwriting on the front. Appa's handwriting. To Eomma.
What the heck?
I stared at the envelope, but the jagged handwriting didn't change. My drawer was filled with loads of letters from him when we was in jail, or what Eomma called his "work retreats." I knew exactly where he was but pretended not to. As long as the letters kept coming. Then Eomma married Mark, and everything stopped completely. I never heard from him again. So why is he writing to Eomma? And why didn't she tell me?
Even if was somehow mistaken about the handwriting, his name was right there. Junmyeon Oh, 458 Youngbae Ave., Jeju Island, S. Korea.
Why did she say she thought he was "somewhere in Daejeon"? His address is right there. She knew exactly where he lived, and she never told me. Never mentioned a visit, despite the fact that she knew I missed him.
My mind raced with unanswered questions, but Eomma wasn't home to answer them. Mark had taken her away for some fancy spa day. I didn't know if I wanted to know the answers, anyway. I just - I just needed to get out of here. To get away, I shoved the card back in her planner and stumbled to my feet.
My head was still in a daze, and my stomach clenched as though I'd been punched in the gut. Repeatedly. But somehow I made it out the door and into my car. But I didn't drive. Not yet. I turned on my radio as loud as I could, not caring what song was on. I didn't even know what station it was. My breath came out in a steady stream, and all I could do was concentrate on breathing until the noise filled my head and I couldn't think anymore.
My ears were still ringing when I finally pulled up to Suzy's house. She was already sitting on the front steps, waiting. Her hand tapped against her thigh while she muttered something under her breath. Probably cursing at me. A frown crossed her face when she spotted me. As ridiculous as it sounds, I was happy to see that frown. To me, that was the most beautiful sight in the world. At least I knew I couldn't obsess about my dad while she was lecturing me.
"You're late," she said as soon as she opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. Suzy heaved a heavy sigh before dropping her bag at her feet and clicking her seatbelt, all while still not looking at me. "And now so am I."
"Sorry."
That's all I said, but her head snapped up to look at me as though I had poured out all my problems in that one word. Her eyes searched my face for answers. Shit. Her and her intuition. I gave her a wide smile, but she still didn't look convinced.
"It's okay. It's not like anything important happens in homeroom, anyway." She carefully eyed me again before patting the dashboard. "Was Squirtle giving you trouble or something?"
"No."
Our conversation died down, and though occasionally Suzy attempted to cheer me up, she couldn't erase my somber mood. At this point, I didn't think anything could.
There was always a tiny part of that wondered if Appa hadn't fought for us because he didn't want us anymore. The fact that he was still in contact with Eomma, yet never bothered to call or even write a postcard to me, made me wonder if I was the problem.
Shit. It was so much easier to blame Mark.
Suzy was concentrating so hard to figuring out what else to say that were little frown lines on her forehead while she bit her lower lip. Somehow, she managed to look like a little kid and an old lady at the same time.
Despite my crappy mood, I couldn't help smiling at her. Something red poked out beneath her dark hair. What in the world . . . my fingers gently ruffled through her smooth hair and pulled out a single bright-red rose petal. "What's this?"
"What?" She reached behind her head and grasped my hand. The petal crumbled between our fingers. She squinted at it for a moment as though even she didn't know why it was there. "Oh, Appa asked me to help him with Eomma's Valentine's Day surprise. We sprinkled rose petals around her while she was sleeping. Until Lucy stepped on a thorn and started yelling." With a shake of her head, she laughed and dropped it in the ashtray between us.
Roses. The grocery store. I smacked my hand against my head. "Shit."
She stopped fiddling with the radio and looked over her shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"I was going to get you some roses from the store." I shook my head. "I can't believe I forgot."
"It's fine. Don't worry about it."
But it wasn't fine. It only reminded me of why I had forgotten to get the flowers in the first place. My stomach tightened again as I gripped the steering wheel. My knuckled grew taut and pale, and I felt sick. Screw school. "Listen, I'm going to drop you off at school, okay? So no one will see me."
"You're not going to class?"
I forced myself to loosen my grip and drummed a beat on the steering wheel with one hand instead. "No, I have some things to do. I'll be back later."
"Is it that drug-testing thing again?"
Although we'd only been "together" a little while, I had finally told her the truth, and she was mad on my behalf. Even though I didn't care anymore, it was nice to have someone on my side for once.
I could lie and say it us, but knowing Suzy, she'd probably weasel the truth out of me sooner or later. "No, it's not that. It's . . .complicated."
"Hmm . . . does it have something to do with your dad issues?"
I nearly slammed on the brakes. "I don't have dad issues."
"We both do. And yours written all over your face." She gave me a teasing smile and shook her head. "Don't worry. I'm more screwed up than you are. My issues are all over the place." Her motioned up and down her body.
"Really? I'll have to check that out someday."
She poked a finger in my cheek and pushed my face forward. "The only place you'll see that is in your dreams. Now, keep your eyes on the traffic."
"Yes, ma'am." I pulled up in the front yard and parked right by the doors. "If you feel the need to make up an excuse for my absence, don't deny the urge. The more elaborate, the better."
"How about I tell people a dragon carried you off to its lair so you could be a nanny for its babies."
"As long as it's a water dragon and not a fire-breathing one, then I'm good with that."
Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't nag me about going to class like I expected her to. She just lean closer - her forehead was scrunched together with worry - and reached out to touch my arm. "Are you sure you're okay?"
As okay as I'll ever be. I froze for a moment, letting her soft touch calm me. When I felt semirelaxed, I let out a sigh and hold her hand tightly to my body. "Yeah, I'm fine. Wait for me later. I'll bring something back for us for lunch."
"Okay." Suzy got out of the car, careful to close the door gently instead of slamming it like she usually did. "Text me later."
"I will."
As I drove away, I looked down at the petal she left in my ashtray. I half wished that I had asked her to go with me. Even though I was pretty sure she wouldn't, since she had a quiz in history later, she might have skipped if she'd known how much I needed it. How I didn't want to be alone right now.
But my pride kept me from turning around.
__Toward the Walk of Shame__
By the time lunch rolled around, I was back at school and almost back to normal. I didn't talk to Eomma. She hadn't picked up any of my calls, and I'm sure I wasn't desperate to call Mark.
And I was fine. There wasn't anything I could do, even if I wasn't. What was I supposed to do? Sit at home and pout and cry until Eomma came home?
Instead, I concentrated on my surprise for Suzy. Since i had already dropped the ball and forgot about her flowers this morning. I figured I could get lunch for her at least. And as usual, my brilliance stepped up. Along with Kai. He even cut forth period to help me set up the surprise. Although that was probably more because he wanted to avoid our Spanish test than out of best-friend duty.
I'd never done anything like this for a girl before, but it was kind of fun trying to figure out a way to surprise her.
As I leaned against the cafeteria doorway to wait for Suzy, a group of junior girls giggled when they passed me. I gave them a wink out of habit, and one of them blushed. It was nice to see that I still had it.
Finally, Suzy appeared with Soyeon and Minho. Their arms were all loaded down with art supplies and sketchpads. "About time you showed up."
"About time you got to school," she quipped in response. She looked relieved for a moment until an irritated expression crossed her face. Scowling, she nodded toward my fans, who scattered into the cafeteria at the sight of her. "Friends of yours?"
"You could say that. Jealous?"
"Ha! You wish."
Despite her laugh, I could see the pink-stained cheeks that she hide to hide. I wrapped an arm around her and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Don't worry, I still remember the rules of our agreement. No screwing around, remember?" I looked over her shoulder at Minho, who was pretending not to watch us. "Or is it you who needs the reminder?"
Suzy rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Come on, I'm starving."
My arm shot out to stop her when she started to go in. "Actually, I was thinking we could eat outside." I shot a look at the other two. "Alone. Sorry, guys."
Minho opened his mouth, but Soyeon just pushed him aside a smile brightly. "Of course. It is Valentine's Day." She juggled her stuff in the crook of one arm and took everything from Suzy. "You guys go ahead."
I cocked my head toward her. "I always knew I like you, Soyeon."
"That's because I'm so understanding." She let out a dramatic sigh and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "It's both a blessing and a curse."
Minho rolled his eyes and scowled. "Whatever. Come on, I'm starving."
Suzy waited until they left before turning back to me. Her left brow arched up. "So why are we eating outside?"
I wrapped an arm around her waist and steer her down the hall. "Because it's nice."
"It's pouring."
"I didn't say the weather is nice. I just said eating outside is nice," I said, quickening my step. "Come on."
"That makes no no sense." Suzy shook her head and hitched her backpack higher on her shoulders. "What is it with you and nature?"
"You'll see."
"Omo, you're being so mysterious and - oh!" Her jaw dropped and she stopped in her tracks.
A long piece of clear trap was draped from branch to branch of the trees outside. And beneath it, right in the center, was the long picnic table that Kai and I had dragged over from the other end of the yard. It looked like a large tent in the middle of the yard. A large pizza box, along with paper plates and napkins, was right in the middle of the table, weighed down by large rocks I had found. Even the steady stream of rain falling from each corner of the tarp made the little shelter look more intimate and romantic.
I had to admit, I was pretty proud of myself. Yep, I couldn't do better if I tried.
Damn, I was good.
Motioning her forward, I used my hands to shield the top of her head from the rain. "Come on." I didn't know how long the tarp was going to hold, so we had to make it quick.
Suzy didn't say anything. She just followed me as though still in a daze. Her head whipped back and forth before she sat down. She didn't even seem to realize that the end of her ponytail was wet.
I opened the pizza box with a flourish and bowed like a waiter at a restuarant. "Voila! Made especially just for you, madam."
Her laughter practically filled the yard. She pulled the box toward her, and her eyes shone with tears as she stared inside the large pizza, piled with mushrooms that you could barely see the tomato sauce and cheese. "Exactly how I like it."
"This is the first-ever mushroom pizza where there's more mushrooms than bread." I handed her a plate. "Everyone gave me a weird look when I ordered this. They made me repeat myself three times to make sure I wasn't joking. One guy even took a picture of it when they were done."
"But this is totally worth it." Suzy bit into her slice, and bits of mushroom fell on her plate. She picked each and popped them in her mouth. A look of ecstasy crossed her face. "Yum! It's like I've died and gone to heaven."
"You have plenty weird idea of heaven is like."
"It's whatever you want it to be." She took another bite in her mouth. "So for you, it's be a beach with girls and Squirtle in the middle."
I smiled. She acted like she knew me so well. Although the idea she painted did sound pretty good. "You forgot video games."
"Right, the zombies and aliens."
For the next couple of minutes, she was so absorbed in her pizza, it was like she forgot I was even there. I didn't mind. I just kept watching her as I dug in. And I couldn't help comparing her to the other girls I'd dated. A lot of them were used to doing what they wanted and played games with me. Like it was challenge to keep me interested. Which it was. But Suzy . . . she could be happy with a dandelion or even a few extra pieces of mushrooms. And I never grew bored with her.
Even though I bought a large pizza, Suzy was able to eat almost as much as I did, despite the fact that she was a third of my weight.
She let out a satisfied groan and wiped her mouth with a napkin. "I'm dying, and I still want more."
"There's still one slice left."
"Hey, don't tempt me. I'm this close to having you carry me to class." She held her thumb and her index finger an inch apart.
"We could still do that. I mean, now that our relationship's old news, we have to do something to spice it up again." I flexed my arms and smiled. "Even with the pizza, I think I can handle you."
Suzy laughed and closed the pizza box. "I thought the point of us being together was to make the gossip die down?"
Was it? Sometimes I forgot why we were pretending in the first place. Being with her was so natural. It was easy and fun. I almost didn't miss the lack of bed action these days. Almost.
"I have something else for you. Sort of." I said, changing the topic as I pulled the packet of papers from my backpack and waved them in front of her face.
"More?" She took the papers from me with a confused look. "But these are the applications that I gave to you . . ."
"Except now they're filled out."
Her brown eyes widened with shock, and she fumbled through them. "Wait, what?"
I couldn't help but smile with pride at her surprise. It was Kai's idea. Sort of. I was going to get flowers with the pizza, but he told me to do something that was important to her. And the college applications just popped in my head. Still, I tried to play it off with a shrug. "I had nothing better to do earlier, so I figured why not?"
Her eyes shone with excitement. "This is way better than roses. Even better than jewelry!"
I rolled my eyes and laughed. "You're really weird, you know that?"
"I prefer the word special," Suzy gave me the applications with a big smile. "So you're going to mail these out, right? Like today? Right after school?"
"Yeah, but that's it. No promises after that." I still don't know if I wanted to go to college. Hell, maybe Suzy was right and it was already too late. But if it wasn't . . . it was kind of nice to have an option. Keep the door open, at least.
She lifted her legs on the bench and leaned back on her palms. "I can't believe you did all of this for me."
I shrugged and mimicked her stance on the bench. "It's not a big deal. It wasn't that much trouble."
Her voice grew so soft that it was hard to hear her voice over the rain. "No, it is a big deal. It's a huge deal. I -" She broke off and looked away.
"What?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to say thanks."
There was more that she wasn't saying, but I wasn't going to force it out of her. I doubted that I could. Not only because she was a girl, but because sometimes she could be one of the most stubborn girls I'd ever met.
"No problem." I looked at my watch and frowned. Aish. It was already time to go. Hoe did the hour pass so quickly? "We should get back. Don't want to be late for class."
"Nope don't want that." She laughed to herself.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just think it's weird to see you worried about class, that's all."
It was weird. But I wasn't worried for myself. I was worried for her. I laughed at the irony and tucked the box beneath my arm. "Well, stranger things have happened."
"You mena, like us getting together?"
"Just about." We stood on the edge of the shaded a tarp and looked out at the rain. "Maybe we should wait for the rain to die down."
In response, a streak of lightning tore across the sky, and the rain fell down even harder than before.
She bit on her lower lip. "We'll be here forever."
"Is that so bad?" Without waiting for her answer, I grabbed her hand, and we raced across the grass. Our shoes made wet suction noises with each step. Even though we ran as fast as we could, we were both drenched when we got to the door. Suzy didn't seem to mind, judging by her laughter, which grew louder when I shook my head. Droplets flew at her.
"Sehun?"
"Yeah?" My breath got in my throat. Her hair glistened with raindrops. Dark strands were plastered to her face. and her cheeks were paled from the cold. I don't know how I ever thought she was plain. She'd never looked more gorgeous to me.
Suzy grasped the top of my arms, and I froze. I could only watch speechlessly as she lifted on her toes to gently kiss my lips, even though there wasn't anyone around to watch. "Happy Valentine's Day."