From:Norberto Neves< NN1977@gmail.com>
To: <liferescue_support@aapp.gov.pt>
Subject: Life Rescue Software – My experience
To anyone reading this and/or in charge of the maintainance and development of the Life Rescue software:
I imagine you get emails like this all the time, but I think my experience with your software might still be relevant, and I know it wouldn’t sit well with my conscience if I didn’t send it. So I’ll try to tell my story in the briefest possible way.
Until about a month ago, I barely knew about your product. I just heard it mentioned on some news report, and I memorized little more than “software created to find people in suicide risk through the monitoring of social networks”. I didn’t even get the name. I was like “oh look, another thing to control our whole lives”, and aside from making a Facebook post (automatically reproduced in Twitter and Google +) somewhat representative of that thought, I never thought about it again.
But one night, I was home alone finishing an overdue project, when I heard a loud noise coming from the front door. Before I had time to get up and see what happened, six or seven men barged into my office, some with paramedics vests, others in police uniforms, and all alarmed. No more alarmed than I was, mind you.
I asked what on earth where they doing there, and they told me to relax, that everything would be alright. I started to lose my patience, demanded to know what they wanted, threatened to sue them, swore that someone was going to pay for the damage to my door (which they broke to get in), etc.. One of them explained to me that they came to stop me from commiting suicide, because according to what the Life Rescue software found on one of the social networks I use, I was in danger of killing myself.
I assured them that was completely ridiculous, that what I really wanted was for them to leave me alone so I could get back to work. We argued back and forth, but the truth is that the argument was of little content, so I don’t think it’s worth replicating it here. Suffice it to say, it took me ten minutes to convince them that I wasn’t in any risk.
Then I made an assessment of the damages to my door, and proceeded to curse and insult yourselves in every way I could think of.
Regardless of the broken door (which it could still be shut, thankfully), my life went on with nothing especially noteworthy, until less than a week later, I stopped working to talk to my ex-girlfriend on the phone, at which point I heard the same noise on the door, although this time it was less loud because the door gave in much easier.
There was less people, but all of the present had been there before, and the scene wasn’t much different from the previous one, although shorter.
When I returned to the call with my ex, I told her the whole story, and she confessed that when I dropped the phone to deal with the invaders, she could only hear indistinguishable noises, and got very worried.
The next day, I used one of my coffee breaks at work to go back to Facebook and Twitter, trying to figure out what was triggering Life Rescue, and the only thing I could find was an old post on both networks about a soccer game that I watched at home while doing some less crucial work, in which Benfica was unfairly beaten. The post read, “this is going so badly, we might as well just shoot ourselves in the head.”
Let it be clear: this was only a disappointed Benfica fan, who had no one around to hear him, letting off steam.
Regardless, it seemed to be the only possible reason for two well intentioned break-ins, so I deleted the post on both networks , and tried not to think of the matter again (even though I still waited for replies from the Police, the Paramedics and yourselves concerning the reimbursement I am due from to the damage to my door).
That same day, I got another visit from the usual suspects, but this time at work, although it was past normal working hours. They came into the company without causing any damage, obviously. They recognized me as soon as they saw me, and therefore left after saying hello.
The next day, my boss called. He was worried, and ordered me to take a medical leave. He tried to sound concerned (even though I assured him everything was fine, aside from the repeated inconveniences), but I got the impression that he was more worried about clearing the company from any responsibilities regarding what could happen, than for my well-being. But I suppose that’s part of his job.
Two days later, I had the medical appointment I was ordered to take. All it took was me mentioning the repeated Life Rescue alerts, and I was given medical leave immediately. The doctor also advised me to get urgent psychological counseling. No matter how much I swore that I didn’t need it, or that I had too much urgent work to do, he insisted, and I was basically in house arrest for the next few days.
I took advantage of that time to get some work done. I always thought that my job was perfectly suited to work from home, and I decided to prove it.
This won’t surprise you, but I got another visit soon after.
This time there was no invasion, not even a forced door. They rang my doorbell, I went to see who it was and one of the usual paramedics was there. The talk basically went like this:
“Good evening. How are you today?”
“I’m fine, as always. Good night.”
“Ok. Good night, see you next time.”
Just that.
It was the last straw for me. I went straight to the computer, and deleted all my public profiles and their archives from all the places I could think of.
Then I got back to work, and that’s how I spent the following days.
A few days later the paramedic knocked on my door, someone else came. This time it was my ex, who for some reason insisted that I took her to the movies. I assured her that I had too much work to do, but she was so insisting (and I admit, I was never able to say no to her, although I said “later” too many times) that I gave in, and we went out for dinner, something I hadn’t done in a long while, and I admit, it felt good.
When I returned home, I found more visitors. This time it wasn’t the fire department, or the paramedics, or the police.
It was my friends. All my friends, that apparently had broken in (not too difficult with the door still damaged) and had arranged a party at my home while I was out.
I asked them why on earth did they do that, and the clearest answer I got was from my ex:
“We heard about everything. We got worried.”
I was overwhelmed by a huge tenderness towards everyone, and I realized two things. The first was that I always thought of myself as having lots of friends, and yet I didn’t think there were that many people there, even though all of those I consider worthy of the term were. The second was that I hadn’t talked to even with my closest friends in weeks.
It was the first time in a long time that I spent a night with friends, and not thinking about work. I can’t say anything else worth mentioning happened that night, but we all had a good time. At a certain point, just from watching my friends enjoying each other’s company, I had to hide in the bathroom so that I could cry without anyone noticing.
Rarely have I felt that happy.
Since then, even though I have returned to my job, I’ve tried not to take any work home. I haven’t gone back online. I found out I’m better off without it, because it gave me the illusion of being close to people when I was driving them away that without realizing it. Instead, I make a point of talking every day with at least one of the people that are dear to me, through whatever means. And when I can afford it, I go out with some of them.
It’s not an amazing life, but it’s much better than the one I had before, even though I didn’t notice anything wrong while I was living it.
I won’t go so far as to say I was in a depression (although I believe I was on its way to one) and I certainly won’t say I would eventually kill myself. I don’t believe it would come down to that.
But one way or the other, Life Rescue did save my life. And I thought you should, and would like to, know that.
Best regards, and with huge gratitude,
Norberto Neves
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