late 1985
after everything that went on with Live Aid my dad and the band decided it would be best to announce who i was in my fathers life, where i stood at his whole life and why he thought it was "best to keep me as secret" but they didn't know the truth, we only knew the truth and that's all that matters. when word got out that Freddie Mercury had a 19 years old daughter, media started making up rumors, calling out my father for more answers, bothering the other band members saying "do you have her around your kids?" vicious things, but we brushed it off just like many rumors and media hassle.
London's Basket magazine (September 1985
interviewer for London's Basket mag: how has your daughter changed your life, Freddie?
Freddie: well for the better, this isn't the first time shes been in my life, shes just barely coming into your life. i mean shes been in my life since she was born
LB mag: has that effected your career in any way, taking responsibilities and all?
Freddie: no my daughter has helped me in may ways, shes an inspiration if you think so.
LB mag: does she have a favorite uncle?
Brian: well, honestly not a favorite, we think of her as having different favorites that connect us to her in ways, like for example, shes in college studying to get her PHD in Astrophysics, she thought of it being a wonderful career plus its amazing what goes on in space if you think about it, since she was 14 i showed her the universe and she was instantly hooked.
Freddie: she has bits and pieces of her father too, she loves the piano, shes amazed by the way it works i self taught myself, so in a way, she has been with us through everything (he lights a cigarette)
while the band waits for another question to be asked Roger says
"she loves out kids, they love her, I use her as a babysitter if anything. I trust her, we trust her"
-everyone else nods and agrees-
LB mag: you said she's an inspiration to your music, in what way?
Freddie: massively, she's always throwing out ideas, sometimes when we can't think of anything her minds still young she has similar ideas and I get my inspiration from anything that's happening around me so, you know she's happening around me (laughs)
my dad was turning 39 this year, and he was determined to make it a good one, I knew my dad was a cocky basterd who loved to party, but this party was epic. So much was happening, naked men and women ever where. Lots and lots of alcohol I mean so much that people could throw up more of alcohol than food, my father planned the whole thing, so go big or go home, right?
He came looking for me and pulled me aside and said "i've been looking for everywhere!" He yelled it because the party was so loud you couldn't hear yourself think.
"Why are you looking for me, you should be enjoying your party!"
He screamed in my ear, "i want you to meet someone, my darling!!"
I screamed "WHAT?!"
he shouted louder "COME HERE!" he guided me to a room, where the music wasn't so loud anymore. As the music faded I noticed a muscler man that had a build figure, his shirt was off, but only was wearing a bow tie to the party, he had a mustache just my dad's he smiled as we got closer. I was getting confused to why we needed to meet I didn't know him. I've never seen him before.
he brought us closer to eachother standing in between us, my dad looked at both of us and said,
"Jim, this is Vanessa my daughter, my pride and joy!" I shook his hand smiling and awkwardly saying "hi, nice to meet you"
my dad said "Vanessa this is Jim....my boyfriend"
my mouth went from smiling to confused. I let go of his hand a took a step back.
I looked at my dad really confused, but all I could see on his face was a smiling proud moment he was in, I wanted to be happy, but I put on a face of happiness "it's really great to meet you!" I looked at my dad and walked away. The moment he said ''boyfriend'' kept playing over and over in my head.
I kept walking and made my way outside, to take a breather. The crowd was too much to be in right now, I decided to walk to my car, I decided to get in my car, I was shaking as I started it up, I heard my name being called I looked back and seen my dad running outside trying to look for me, I put it in drive and drove off. I waiting till I was at a stop sign and bawled my eyes out.
After a minute in of crying I screamed at the fact that my dad was moving on, not because he was dating a man, because he'd forget about US! Something that took me forever to find, I feared that the most, my dad and I still never gotten enough time spent in my eyes, and it made me mad and disappointed that I was acting like this.
January London, England 1987
I decided that I was going stay away from the spotlight and touring for a while, this was too much for me. I went back to college in my second semester for awhile, everyone was trying to contact me for reasons why I'm not talking to my dad, I think he would call me everyday sometimes even three times a day, but I was being stubborn at myself, not my dad's choices.
he left me messages, crying, pleaded, letting me know he misses me telling me he needs me he misses my pressennce, sometimes he would call me drunk as hell just to see if id answer but still nothing he would leave messages. I died a little every time I was breaking his heart, how selfish of me!
"You're dad called again" my dorm advisor told me, "ohh, i'm sorry Jennifer.." she looked at me and asked if I was OK, she didn't know who I was or my background thank god, I nooded and told her "oh I'm posh darling" and smiled.
I was finally getting back into the routine of school, I was happy. I loved Astrophysics I was so good at it, everyone in my class loved the same thing I did. I studied Astrophysics in the mornings and practiced my piano in the evening everything was going so well.
January 1987 Montreux, Switzerland
My dad was working on a new album, but this time it wasn't with Queen, an amazing opportunity to work on a new project for the upcoming Olympics in Barcelona, with a very good friend to my father, the lovely Montserrat Caballè to work on the album Barcelona one of my favorite ever CD's he's ever done.
When he was younger he adored Opera music, his dream was to be an opera singer, other than be a rockstar, and he was pursuing it, I was happy with him, so proud of him too even if we didn't talk as much these days.
I was studying physics and properties of celestial objects, including stars, planets and galaxies, their properties and how they behave, sounds interesting right? I went down to my dorm lobby and called my uncle Brian, I needed advice and I needed to know how he was doing.
I waited for a bit til he finally picked up,
-"hey vanessa"
-"uncle Brian, how are you, fine?"
-"Yes we are all fine, here Jimmy is running around with Felix outside"
-"I miss my cousins so much, uncle"
-"well soon enough you can come visit and watch them all you want"
-"uncle Brian!"
(we both laugh)
-"how's school going?"
-"really, really good I'm so happy I'm getting it done, right now I'm learning about mathematical physics and it's making me wondering how it combines with astrophysics, you know?"
-"Yes, i've been there, I'm glad, second term, correct?"
-"yea, can you believe it?"
-"it's worth it, Vanessa"
he than added
-"have you heard from your father, lately"
-"I was just going to ask you about him"
-"Vanessa, hes really going through it, right now, he's working on an album, with Mrs. Caballè"
-"I heard"
-"did you hear he's in Switzerland?"
"I figured, that's where all the Queen made music"
it went silent for a minute
"he misses you...very very much, we all do"
i stayed quiet than I started to slowly cry
"I can't face him, how can I, knowing he's moved on with Jim, hes got Jim and he's probably so happy"
-"Vanessa, you need to understand from your uncle who is a father himself, that you are his life, Jim is just a partner, in his life, who knows maybe he'll be here for weeks or maybe years, but your father will never replace you, you can not be replaced, do you hear me, he loves you too much"
-"I hear you uncle Brian, I love you and i miss everyone"
as I was hanging up the phone, I told myself it was time to see my dad.