CHAPTER TWO - WHAT I WAS LIKE
The next day, I woke up to silence, which was alien in my house. There was no screaming, no shouting, no one waking me up at an ungodly hour, but just silence.
So of course, what did I do? I took advantage. Seeing as though no one was screaming at me to get out of bed or shouting at me for something or did or didn't do, I lay in bed making the most of it. Especially knowing I only had a few more days until I started my new school. I didn't really want to see the rest of my family either. The dynamics in my house were weird right now. My family still seem to dislike the sight of me. I would be lying if I said that I liked seeing them because they were forcing me to change schools and be with them. Although, deep down I have sort have come to terms with the fact that I need to change. However, I am being made to and nobody forces me to do anything. But this time I get the feeling this is my last chance.
You see, as my family would put it, I got involved with the wrong crowd. I didn't smoke or do drugs, I was just not always lovely and they blamed it on my friends.
The girl I used to spend my time with, Addison Peters, was a bit of a bitch. Anyone who she didn't think was pretty, cool, or popular, she turned her nose up at and I guess she was my best friend, so I did the same. Anyway, my family apparently started to notice a change In my behaviour at home and decided, against my wishes, I should move schools.
I know what you're thinking, though. Why didn't I go to the same school as my brothers? Well the answer to that is pretty simple. I spend all my time with them at home, so why would I want more quality time? I've always had too much. Even though despite all of our differences, we have always been close. But that's the problem, everyone knows that. So I knew I needed some separation and after months of begging because my best friend was going to the other school as well, I got them to agree.
Disturbing my snoozing was the sound of two knocks on my bedroom door..
"Come in." I said and the door opened, letting in Elliott, the oldest. I watched the dark blonde haired boy come over to my bed with an amused look, but awkard look plastered across his face as he looked down on me. He was always the brother I got on best with, but I we didn't exactly feel comfortable with each other at the moment.
"You comfy?" He said. I gave him a small smile as I knew he was trying to resolve the tension. Elliott was probably the lovely one of my brothers. He was kind and caring and just relaxed about everything. And yet, we hardly talked now. I suppose I'm the only one to blame, but I often find myself wondering what exactly happened.
"Yes, actually. Now what do you want?" I asked, cutting the crap. I mentally scolded myself for my rude tone and decided.
"Rude much? Dads busy at work preparing and training again before he leaves again. So it leaves us to take you." He said. I could kind of tell he wasn't happy about it as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
My dad was involved in the military. He was a soldier in the army so he would come and go, but when he comes back, he's not always back.
"Take me where?" I asked, irritated he couldn't just state it simply.
"To get you're school uniform for next week and sort god knows whatever else out." He said, whilst I sat up properly.
I knew I was already becoming hard work.
"Urgh, I forgot about the whole school uniform rule. Well as long as the skirts short, school uniform can look cute and- " I said, but was cut off by an uninvited guest's roaming into my bedroom.
"Nothing on you will look cute." Tommy said.
"Your too much of an ugly whore anyway." Dean said.
"And if you think I'm letting you walk around in a small tight skirt, you have another thing coming, Khloe." Commented Elliott, trying to soften what the other two were saying.
Strangely, I didn't feel hurt by what they said. No, I kind of expected it? It's probably sad that I've gotten so used to these kind of comments and this kind of hostility. For once it seemed that Elliott was trying to settle the storm. But, I could tell he was struggling because he felt just as mad at me as everyone else did.
"Whatever. And who said you two could enter my room?!" I shouted , throwing a pillow at them.
"It's a free country." Tommy said, a smirk playing on his lips and he jumped onto my bed and lay down beside me. He was invading my space. It wasn't in a loving way, it was more of an I want you to pay for everything. I could tell he wanted me to feel suffocated.
"we don't need to get permission from a bitch like you." Dean stated, being his usual mean and selfish self. Me and him don't get on at all. We don't even acknowledge each other apart from sly bitchy comments or full on nothing held back conversations. So mainly arguments. We were never close.
He does what he wants and I do what I please.
Tommy, however likes to play games and manipulate. He's the most selfish and most self centred out of all my brothers. He doesn't care what affects anyone and loves to be amused by other people's suffering.
"What are you doing in my room?" I asked.
"Oh, did our dear brother not let you in on the details of today?" Tommy asked, amused as he knew he'd take pleasure in my misery.
"Well me and Dean are coming too!" He said, wrapping one arm around me. The smile vanished from his lips and he glared at me whilst his arms were around me.
"And Charlie." Dean muttered, not caring.
"What?! Charlie's coming?!" I almost shouted, but was careful because I knew he would hear me.
"Yep." Tommy said and started to pull me closer. "Isn't that great?" He said, squeezing me tightly as he knew I hated any affection by him because we just didn't do it and Charlie and me weren't good because of the whole moving school
Thing....
"No, it isn't great!" I said, pushing Tommy off of me. "Elliott, please! Charlie can't come. He hates me right now. If he gets the chance he will murder me. That's not great!" I said.
"Oh, but it is because whilst he does the crime, I can watch it! And my entertainment is everyone's priority."Tommy said with a murderous smile on his face.
"Shut up,Tommy . I'm being serious!" I snapped.
"Look Khlo, he's you're twin. He'll get over it. Why don't you go and talk to him?" Elliott suggested.
"Just because he's my twin, doesn't mean we're loyal to each other or get along." I grumbled.
"Well look at Chase and Jake. Those two are thick as thieves." He said as Chase came in.
"Apparently." Chase grumbled, still not caring. He was stood watching our conversation with his arms folded, unamused.
"Not apparently. You sleep in each other's beds at night." Tommy said, probably getting on chase's last nerve.
"Fuck off Tommy." Chase snapped, glaring at him. It was true that those two were close. They wouldn't admit it, but they would never turn on each other. They love turning on me, though. Charles, however loves turning on me. Sometimes he looks at me as a problem that won't go away.
"I'm not either of them." I said.
"Thank god." Chase muttered.
"But Charles is still you're twin, what you saying Khloe? You think you're just never going to become friends again?" Elliott asked, looking at me with concern, but the other two looked amused.
This reassurance reminded me that Elliott would forgive me in time.
"aw little Khloe has lost her best friend."Tommy teased me, making me want to slap him, which I did, but he gave me a look that said 'if you do that again, you will be sorry,' so I took the warning and didn't.
"Tommy, that's not even funny. Let's not forget who was really responsible for the reason I really lost my best friend." I snapped, talking about Addison. He was silent after that, the only remorse he had ever shown me. But as much as it was Tommy's fault it was also mine.
"We're leaving at eleven, Khlo. Do what you want, but you know what I think you should do." Elliott told me, before pushing Chase out of the door with him and Tommy followed easily as he knew he was in no position to do anything else.
Anyway I got dressed once they were gone and then decided to go and talk to Charlie. He was my twin and he couldn't stay mad at me forever, could he?
I walked down the corridor of my home and entered Charlie's bedroom, which was next to mine. We probably would of shared if we were the same gender, like Jake and Chase, but we shared when we were younger. Instead he shared with Tommy. Probably why me and Charlie don't get on as well as we used to.
I waited outside and didn't come in until I heard him yell "yeah." And then I entered, standing awkwardly by the shut the door.
Charlie turned around on his Chair, sat by his desk and he turned to see me. His smile disappeared.
"What do you want, Khlo?" He asked, with an exhausted kind of sigh.
"to talk." I said in a small voice. He took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm sorry, Charlie." I said, looking him in the eye, but I feared I would see rejection in his eyes. I didn't though, it was as though he was searching for something in me. Maybe for me to just be sincere.
"What's there to talk about?" He said, turning away from me, just as I thought I had him back, I lost him again.
"I want to apologise. I'm sorry." I said. "I know you were just messing around and I shouldn't of told dad. We could of figured it out on our own. And-" I tried to continue, but he interrupted.
"It's fine, Khloe. Just forget about it." He said. He wasn't sincere though. He didn't seem to forgive me. But that's when I realised it wasn't just about that. It was about school.
"But it's not just that I wanted to talk to you about." I said, walking over to him and perching on the bed, opposite the desk so I could face him. "I'm sorry I screwed up school. I know it was just me, but it affected you too. You chose to go to the other school because we went through everything together and it would be strange not going to the same school. But by me doing the things I did and the people I got involved in, Dad thought it was best for me to leave. Now you're leaving too and that's my fault." I said, looking down, suddenly becoming emotional for no reason.
My dad didn't want Charlie to be in the school by himself with none of us. He had a problem with just two of us, let alone leaving one. And Charlie didn't want to be away from me either. So he agreed to come.
"Khlo, it's okay." Charlie said, placing a hand on my leg. "I've been angry at you for a while now,
but not for me leaving that school. I don't care where I go." He said and paused. "I was angry at you because of all the things you kept from me. Then all the things you did and the situations you put you're self in." He said. "That's why I told Tommy, not because I hated you or anything, but because I was worried." He continued.
Tommy and Dean had turned up at a party I was at and caught me at a party and went mad. That was the last straw.
( flashback )
I was sat at the top of the stairs in some strangers house. I'd come to a seniors party. I was fifteen and it was the beginning of this school year so it wasn't exactly that long ago....
Tommy had been told by Charlie that I'd be at that particular party. Then went to Dean and the two of them showed up. It just had to be my two most aggressive and frightening brother's that had to find me.
Me and Tommy may not always get on but as I was with a guy, it changed things. The boy I was with had wrapped his arm around me, his hand was getting lower and lower and his tongue getting deeper. We were even getting closer to a empty bedroom, but my drunken self had no idea what I was doing. I suppose rage built up inside both of them.
They came storming up the stairs and burst threw the bedroom door just as I had lain down on the bed, my top was off and so was the guys. I only had my bra on display, but that wasn't the point - we all knew where it was leading and I was so drunk, I hadn't realised the mistake I was about to make. My head was spinning and I barely knew where I was. I didn't even know the guy, but I suppose I thought I had to lose my viginity at some point - why not tonight? However, deep down I was a little terrified. But I was Khloe Lakewood - I could do anything.
"Khloe, are you fucking stupid?!" Dean screamed as he ripped the guy away from me - he had practically thrown the guy against the wall.
"He was cute! Aw don't ruin that gorgeous face!" I slurred.
Tommy attended to me. He pulled me up and wrapped one arm around me in relief. His eyes were filled with confusion and anger. I could see the disapproval in his eyes. He looked like he was torn between seeing me as his little sister in danger and his sister who deserves to be smacked.
Meanwhile, the boy got up and Dean took one look at him and threw a deadly punch in his direction. I had never seen Dean quite so lethal. Although, from what my brother's had told me, Dean was quite the fighter at their school. He was the embodiment of a bad boy.
the boy stumbled back and Dean backed off for a moment. For a second, I was scarred that Dean would kill him. But, instead Dean met my lazy eyes and the boy ran away.
"No, I don't think so...." I said, responding to his earlier question.
"Well you obviously fucking are!" Dean growled, he could barely look at me. "Get dressed, we're going." He said and I remembered I wasn't wearing a top! Tommy handed it to me and I lazily put it back on as the room began to spin around me.
"But I have a slight problem.." I began, far too enthusiastically for their liking. "There's a party! Can't I stay? And he was cute, why did you have to push him off of me?" I whined. i paused looking down at my top - it was only half on. Tommy aggressively pulled it down. I could tell they were losing their patience.
"Because, Khlo, I don't want my little sister with some guy she doesn't know." Dean said, taking one of my arms and pulling me up. Tommy supported my back as I was about to fall back down onto the bed. I wanted to close my eyes and just fall asleep, but I knew I had to leave this party first - before anything else happened.
"So? He's good looking! You guys do it all the time!" I said as they tried to guide me to the door.
"That's different. You'll regret it in the morning. Come on, Sis, let's get you home." He said, shaking his head. Dean took his coat and wrapped it around me. I smiled as I felt the warmth surround me and suddenly I felt loved.
"I love you guys..." I muttered as I felt his warm jacket against my skin. I could see them smile awkardly at each other, but Tommy smirked like a madman.
"we love you too, now can you please attempt to walk so that we can get you down the stairs?" Dean said.
Drunken me couldn't believe what I just heard. Maybe I'd imagined it?
Eventually, the two of them got me out of the house. They both had one of my arms wrapped around their necks as they escorted me to Deans car. Dean helped Tommy sit me in the back and then Tommy got in next to me whilst Dean got behind the wheel. Tommy put my seatbelt on and then proceeded to do his. I leaned on his shoulder as I shut my eyes, but I didn't get a moment of peace as Dean interrupted me.
"Seriously Khloe, what the fuck was that?" Dean moaned. "Please never get yourself into that situation again."
I felt tear role down my cheek and I was afraid I would burst into tears. "I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was doing," I whispered.
"You have to be more careful." Dean stated.
"I just wanted...." I began, but my eyes began to shut.
"It's okay, baby. Just rest" Tommy said to me and I rested my head on his chest as I fell asleep.
When we got home, I was lucky. My Dad was fast asleep, but as it was a Friday night, all my brothers were awake. Tommy carried me inside, but he didn't take me straight to my bedroom. No, instead he took me into the lounge where the rest of our brothers were. Sleepily, I opened my eyes and saw Charlie hand Tommy some water. Tommy put the glass to my mouth and practically forced my to drink it - it definitely woke me up. "Chloe, drink the water. It will help for tomorrow."
"It makes me feel ill." I said as I began to feel sick.
"What the fuck happened to her?" Elliott almost screamed, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at Dean and Tommy for an explanation and he told him the events of the night.
"Khloe why would you get yourself into that situation?" Jake asked me. My head looked up slightly as I noticed who was surrounding me. Chase was stood by the door, not even looking at me. Jake was sat on the arm chair closest to the sofa I was sat on and was looking directly at me. Elliott and Dean were hovering awkwardly and Charlie was leaning against the wall, staring into space blankly. For once, I actually felt comfort in Tommy's arms.
"I'm sorry." I blurted out. "I'm really sorry." I said as I felt myself start to cry.
"We're not gonna get anything out of her tonight. She should go to bed." Elliott said as I wiped my cheeks dry.
"I'll take her up to bed." Tommy said and picked me up and I closed my eyes.
( End Of Flashback )
looking back, that was probably my most mortifying moments of my life. My brothers hadn't told my Dad. I kept up the partying by lying about going to them and this forced my brothers to tell my Dad I was taking it too far. To be honest, I had taken it too far. I never wanted to become that reckless.
Anyway, since, seeing as though this was only a month ago.... it's still awkward, but I was still angry at all my brothers. I felt violated through the way they saw me with the guy, but then I also felt in debt to them and I hated that. I hated that Tommy and Dean had told the rest of my brothers. All in all I was mortified. But, I also felt like I had betrayed Charlie by keeping him in the dark.
"I didn't mean to not tell you, Charlie. But what did you want me to say? Did you want me to tell you that I was walking around at night when i was supposed to be at sleep overs? Did you want me to tell you that I had done too many things I wanted to forget about?" I said.
Me and Charlie used to tell each other everything. Now I could see that one of the reasons he didn't like me was because I never came to him.
"But that's just it, Khloe. What did you do at night? Why do you feel the need to forget about things? Why were they so bad?" He asked, But then something clicked and he realised something. "Khloe, you didn't did you?" He asked. I looked at him confuse, but then realised what he was talking about.
"No. I didn't. Tommy caught me on my closest time. I'm still a virgin." I said, feeling my cheeks heat up. I couldn't believe I was talking about this with my brother.
"It's just the drinking, leading on, messing with people's heads etc. I'm just sorry, I never meant it to affect our relationship." I said, almost crying again. I didn't realise how much me pushing him away was affecting me.
"It's okay, Khloe, next time just tell me." Charlie said, sitting besides me and hugging me.
But that was then tommy walked in, not caring, but started smirking when he saw us. "Sorry, didn't think to knock, my room and all." He said to me, but I ignored himself turned to Charlie.
"Were you really that angry with me?"
"More concerned.''
"quite the basket case." Tommy looked at me like a firework about to go off.
"Tommy, I know your loving this. it's obvious. I know all of you have been dying for the chance to control more of my life. Even dad wants the control out of my hands, well now you've got it." I said, suddenly getting mad that I had lost all my freedom.
"Yes, but who's fault is that?"Tommy said, throwing his hands in the air and walking out the door. Leaving me stood there, speechless.
"It will be alright, Khlo." Charlie told me, putting his hand on my shoulder.
"I hope so." I said sighing
HI I HOPE THIS CHAPTER MAKES SENSE? AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!! I'M SORRY IT TOOK ME LONGER THAN I THOUGHT TO TWEAK.
THANKS FOR READING.
XXX