[Being alive doesn't mean you're living. Or something like that. Filling up blank spaces with unnecessary things - material things - doesn't make it any better. What does it mean to be happy anyway?]
"So, what have you been doing before I met you?" Black Hat asked out of blue, looking almost interested. He was sitting on a position that he thought it was superior as much as he is. That's how the villain wanted Y/N to paint him and that is what she was doing.
Yes, Y/N told him earlier that it would be easier if she could just take a picture of him and paint it all alone in her room. But Black Hat said that he wanted her to paint him on the old way, on his office. He is too stubborn so she just gave up and did as he asked.
"Hmm," Y/N murmured looking at him and then she carefully sketched his thin yet long body on a big canvas in front of her. "Nothing too much. I was just giving up on my life."
This answer made Black Hat a bit curious as the villain analysed Y/N's blank expression - so empty yet so meaningful. How can someone say such a thing so calmly? "May I ask why?"
The girl chuckled at his curiosity, which she thought was cute. "Well..." she sighed slowly. "Life isn't quite easy, sir."
He frowned, confused at the answer, and asked mentally if humans are such weak creatures that they can't even live without thinking of giving up.
"What do you mean with it?" though he despised humans and any of their mores, culture and ways, Black Hat wanted to know why such a young woman would think about giving up on life.
"Uh?" Y/N stared at his face, studying if he was just going to make fun of her for talking about her troubles like any other person that she shared her life with (besides her parents). He didn't seem to intent it though. And, well, Black Hat isn't really a person so it would be fine, right?
"Hm... let's say I have... two kinds of diseases," the girl avoided looking at his deep eyes for a moment. When she talks about it she always feel ashamed.
"Diseases?" Black Hat asked low, thoughtfully.
"Yeah... one of them is my old friend depression. It makes me feel really... bad. I can't describe it very well."
Black Hat just nodded, deep in thoughts. He indeed have heard about it before. It's a mental illness that affects the brain.
He also have heard that a lot of people who have this disease feels so down that the only way to numb the pain is alcohol, mutilation, or worse, suicide.
He looked at Y/N again, now feeling something weird. Almost like worry... but it couldn't be possible, not for a villain like Black Hat.
Even though, he internally asked if Y/N have ever tried to kill herself before.
"And the other is cardiomegaly. I've born with it and I kinda have a literally large heart because of it," Y/N laughed sadly and continued to explain.
"It doesn't have any cure and all the treatments didn't work out. The final option was a heart transplant, but... it's been three years since I've been waiting and nothing so far. So I kind of gave up. I'm just waiting my heart to finally stop beating."
"A heart disease?" Black Hat asked trying to disguise his disbelief. He knows that humans needs their hearts to live. "Does it mean you're dying?"
Y/N finally stared at his face and laughed out loud. Black Hat raised an eyebrow, angry, but something deep inside him made him feel pleased by listening to her laughter again.
"Well, yes and no. Every human is dying. But this thing increases the chances of my heart to suddenly stop and then... boom!" the girl played with her hands, trying to simulate an explosion. "This 24 year old woman will die."
Honestly it was shocking for Black Hat to deal with subjects like death, seeing he is immortal. He never had to think about dying because he obviously won't. But he strangely felt weird about knowing that Y/N will die soon or later.
But why would he feel troubled about it? Why would he want to keep listening to Y/N talking and laughing as long as he can?
"But... do you want to die?" his sudden question got the girl by surprise.
Why would he even care about her? She is nothing but an employee to him. Right?
"Tell me, Y/N. Do you want to die?" Black Hat asked again, impatiently waiting for the answer.
The girl tensed up and breathed in, restlessly avoiding the deep gaze of the villain. "No, sir. I do not wish to die so soon. I want to live as much as I can," she lied. But... this was half true. Years ago she really used to wish that she could live as much as possible. But these lately months... she just wanted her life to end so she will finally rest peacefully.
Black Hat sighed and smirked as he got up and walked to Y/N, hands on his back, slowly leaning down his face towards hers, almost touching each other. "You're a good liar, Y/N, I have to admit it. But I always know when someone is lying to me."
Black Hat was close enough for Y/N to feel uncomfortable, but she weirdly didn't. Actually, somehow she apreciated being this close to her boss.
"Does it really matter for you if I want myself to be dead or not?" Y/N looked away and asked depletedly.
She was quite tired of people telling her that life is beautiful and that she should be grateful for being alive or that there are people out there in a worst situation than her.
"Actually," he said, his smirk never disappearing. She could feel his calm breath on her skin. "Yes, I do care. You are my employee now."
"Really, boss?" Y/N crossed her arms on her chest and smiled, too, entering his game of provoking. "You don't seem to care about the others. Could you tell me why do you care about me so much, mister Black Hat?"
He kept silent for a moment as both stared at each others eyes, serious expressions.
"If that is the kind of question we are having here now," he said, avoiding the girl's question. "You tell me. I am sure you know I am a villain. The greatest, by the way. Why do you even try to be kind with me, miss Y/N?"
Y/N, otherwise, was not ashamed about answering this question. "Because I like you, sir. And I believe that kindness results in kindness."
"Kindness results in kindness, uh?" Black Hat thought to himself. "Let's see if that's what happens."
⋅ ⋆ ❦ ⋆ ⋅
Y/N was supposed to be doing Black Hat's painting, but actually talking with him was a lot more fun. Is not that she doesn't enjoyed doing paintings, but talking with someone like Black Hat is something indescribable.
Or you're mad at him or scared of him (or crazy in love like Demencia). But... having a friendly conversation with Black Hat is really pleasent.
"Back then, Flug was such a weird teenager," he was telling Y/N the story of how he met Flug. Crashing plane and stuff. "But, since then, he was a genius, so I couldn't waste the chance and kept him here."
"I can't believe..." Y/N said, smiling at Black Hat. "So you're really like a father to him..."
Black Hat cleared his throat, embaressed. "I am no one's father. I just gave him food and a place to live, nothing more."
Y/N laughed joyfully at his shyness when talking about this kind of stuff. "Ha, you're such a cutie, sir!"
Black Hat bursted angrily. Cute. "I'm NOT a "cutie"! I am the evilest living creature on this miserable planet! The greatest! The one and only!"
"Yeah, yeah, surely you are, boss..." Y/N sighed smiling, looking at the unfinished painting and then back at Black Hat, noticing that he was lightly blushing. "You are my evilest masterpiece."
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Explaining cardiomegaly:
Cardiomegaly is a medical condition in which the heart is enlarged. It is more commonly referred to as an enlarged heart. The causes of cardiomegaly may vary. Many times this condition results from high blood pressure (hypertension) or coronary artery disease. An enlarged heart may not pump blood effectively, resulting in congestive heart failure.
henlo this me
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okay let me explain stuff.
if you check out the title you'll notice that i changed it. now it is "black hat x chubby reader".
why the sudden change? well, it's not sudden at all.
before i even posted the first chapter i already got in my mind that the mc was going to be chubby (i didn't expecified tho)
so i hope you guys don't mind about it...
see ya bye!