[come] i.
Having a husband is great.
Having a doctor as a husband is also great. Considering the little surprises like free physicals that could lead to sessions in the bedroom. If you're a person who likes to see the glass as half full, that is.
But having a husband who was not only an M.D and head of pediatric surgery but also a wealthy and respected socialite is. . .not that great.
Especially if all you do is work part-time as a baker and another as a cashier behind a Starbucks counter. So much for social upbringing.
It isn't the fact that your husband breathes Versace and Givenchy along with the rest of his mutuals while you still have a soft spot for that threadbare sweater you bought from Old Navy back in 2012. It's not the fact that the bachelors and bachelorettes accidentally mistake you as the housekeeper when you're actually the hostess of the expensive parties you and your husband used to throw before things got hectic.
It definitely isn't because your husband, who was once your best friend and high school sweetheart and the only guy you'd share secrets and get wasted at frat parties with during college, is now a chief of a surgical department and can barely afford to give you the time of the minute, much less the day.
Lying to yourself will get you nowhere, now that seeing Seokjin around is rare. Only now and then you receive a concise text that informs you of his whereabouts, or a good morning if you're lucky. Seokjin is not what people would normally label as a "busybody." Busy is nowhere near his schedule. And as his wife, you've been accustomed to exclude that word in your limited range of vocabulary.
It's what he would've wanted, anyway.
husband 💍💋: hey. am i interrupting?
me: nope im just watching the counter with coworker. whats up?
husband 💍💋: i'm coming home tonight, thought id let u know
me: that's a nice plot twist. whats the occasion?
husband 💍💋: its bc i wont be home for another week and i figured i'd pack in advance. Btw can u get my suitcase ready, i'll be there in 2 hrs
me: im still @ work uhh, sure ill try. do u want dinner as well??
husband 💍💋: yes.
me: k...gucci or louis vuitton btw
husband 💍💋: whatever's bigger. Vuitton maybe. g2g. Thanks.
me: np
His icon fades after that last message, which isn't surprising. Your conversations always come to a halt like this. Half-hearted thank yous or awkward laughs. Emoticons were out of the question by now. Back when Seokjin was an intern and you had just applied to culinary school, his favorite emoji to use was the kissy face equipped with hearts and the occasional bowl of ramen. He would always send those no matter the time, since interns had it easy. It was only after three years of residency had he decreased the amount of goofiness he put in his texts, not before proposing to you during fourth year while still sharing an apartment with a fellow intern. Back then, Seokjin wasn't able to afford a diamond ring wrapped in Tiffany's tissue, but you accepted the tiny rock anyway because you knew more would be in store for him. For the two of you.
Sure enough, he gifted and officially replaced the stone with a three carat princess cut diamond exclusively from Jared's for your third anniversary. His wedding band was then platinum. It was a little over the top, but. . .
The point was, that was a long time ago and wasn't worth remembering if the present was bleak.
Cut that out. Nothing is bleak. Sure, he's running off to the ER for another week after two weeks of an emergency trip to Milan, but nothing is bleak.
"When does your shift end?" you ask to no one in particular when you hear the staffroom door close. You're currently running on your third year at Starbucks, so it only takes a second to recognize the sound of every coworker's footsteps.
It turns out to be Yugyeom, a high school student who usually takes care of night shifts. He eyes you for a moment, rubbing his wrist wordlessly before tossing a dishcloth onto the counter. "Till 9, then Seulgi takes over. Why?"
The nineteen-year old is rather mature for his age, and he knows better than to poke in a business that isn't his. But Yugyeom is well updated on your current situation and the excuse of a relationship you share with your husband.
You suck in a breath as you absentmindedly scroll through your messages, sounding as deadpan as possible. "Jin's coming back home, and I have to pack his bags and make dinner."
"Oh, wow." You don't even have to look up to know that Yugyeom's rolling his eyes. "Where's he going?"
"He didn't say. . .he just texted me saying he'd be back home to pick it up. I guess they received new schedules now."
"No offense but is a surgeon even supposed to travel that much?" When you spare him a questionable glance, he shrugs. "I mean, I'd get it if he were a CEO or something. But he's only a doctor."
"And head of a surgical department as well as PH.D in training," you can't help but correct him, even if he does have a valid point.
Still, you'll always be proud of your husband's achievements, all the while getting shoved in the corner.
"Okay, and your point is? You're making this worse." Yugyeom sighs and resumes wiping the counter. His apron is untied and hanging on his lanky frame for dear life. You always nag at the boy to let loose and attend more frat parties instead of collecting extra shifts, but living expenses in this part of Seoul are ridiculously expensive. If it isn't for Jin's income, you would've been in Yugyeom's shoes too.
You don't want to admit it, but that's also another reason why you're not calling it quits with Jin yet.
Even a dumbass would choose to stay in a one-sided marriage than go back to square one again.
First of all, this isn't one-sided. So shut up.
"So I was asking about your shift because I was wondering if you're willing to extend int to cover mine? I'll let you have whatever I'd get out of it. Actually," you amend. "You can have my paycheck this week."
This catches his attention as Yugyeom looks up from his cleaning with wide eyes. "Are you serious?"
"Sure," you say. "You covered for me and Lalisa twice this week. It's basically your call."
"Yeah, but --"
"Just let Chanyeol know that I gave you permission. I'll write it down if I have to." The polka-dotted clock reads 7:50, meaning you have to go in case you want things done on time. "If he throws a fit, put me on speed dial."
You start collecting your things, including a purse that's far different from the worn down knapsack you usually carry. Even Yugyeom notices it.
"Wait. What is that?" He pokes a finger towards your bag.
You give a non comical shrug. "Givenchy. Jin gave it for our fifth anniversary." You didn't plan to say this, but the words slip out of your mouth. "It costed two grand."
Despite Yugyeom not being anything but your junior coworker, the distaste in his expression concerns you. Working with him for so long now has you waiting for his approval before anyone else's.
He casually glances away from your designer bag and clears his throat. "You should get going, Noona. I'll see you tomorrow. You're coming in the morning, right?"
"It depends," you chew your bottom lip. Seokjin didn't clarify how long he'd be home for, even if it was just to pack and have dinner. "If Jin leaves by tonight, then I'll probably fill in for a couple hours before joining Yongsun at the bakery."
"One more thing," Yugyeom quickly adds. He's staring at you with such peculiarity, you itch to question his behavior. "Why are you even working if Seokjin hyung is so successful? Forget about two jobs."
A smile tugs at the end of your lips at his innocent question. It's a question asked on a daily basis and by many people, including both your managers, so no offense taken.
"Honestly, I don't need the pay," you admit. "But I do need something to do. Sitting still and looking pretty isn't as glamorous as it sounds, Yug. Anyways, I'm out. Wish me luck 'cause I haven't cooked Jin's favorite in a while."
Which is funny, because you know every recipe by heart.
anGST i love angst and agony