Chapter Ten
I Wanna Be Yours
“I really appreciate you keeping me company.” I said softly to Lysander as we walked back to my hotel. I was still surprised he had shown up. Even though he was my mate and we had this connection, I still felt like he wouldn’t show.
But he did, and I couldn’t be more thankful.
“Nikolai, whenever you need me, I am here.” I smiled up at him and then frowned.
“I should have listened to you.” It was the truth. If I had just listened to my mates order, if I had just stayed in the hotel room instead of going to see Giovanni, none of this would have happened. He even told me to just drop Giovanni all-together. But I couldn’t listen.
I never listened.
And I always ended up the one in trouble.
“I will not lie, I am angry that you didn’t listen to me.” I frowned deeper as I saw how serious and angry his face was, but then it softened. “But I am more glad that you called to me for comfort.” I smiled at that, and so did Lysander. We stopped right outside of the hotel and I was prepared to say goodbye, but Lysander grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards him.
“Nikolai. I—I know this is really sudden, but I want you to be with me. Like, in a relationship way.” He let go of me and shook his head, raking his hands through his hair. “I don’t know why I feel this urge to always be with you. I wake up in the morning and my heart aches because you aren’t there. I have never felt this way before and normally, I would run away at the mention of a relationship, but with you,” He cupped my face with his hands and stared me straight in the eye, “I want to be your everything.”
I don’t know what made me pull his face to mine and give him the most mind-blowing kiss ever. It may have been the fact that he just confessed his feelings to me. If we weren’t outside and Nate and Essie weren’t in my room, I would take him up there and mate with him right now, but that’s what stopped me and made me pull away.
I was keeping a secret. One that I couldn’t force myself to tell him. Even if he did deserve to know I was his mate and even that I was a werewolf, I still just couldn’t tell him.
“Say, if the person you loved was hiding something, a really big something and they couldn’t tell you because they feared it would make you leave them, would you be mad they wouldn’t tell you?” I watched his face go from confusion to concern in seconds and I regretted opening my mouth.
“Is this person you?” He asked his voice calm. My dad’s words echoed in my mind as I mulled over whether or not to tell him. I wasn’t staying in Greece forever, and it would kill both of us if I left without him. He needed to know.
Then there were the “what ifs”. What if he got scared or worse, disgusted, by the fact that I was a werewolf, and he was my mate? What if he rejected me and ran away? I wouldn’t survive that, I knew it. I barely survived seeing Giovanni earlier. I took a deep breath as I made my mind up.
“I’m afraid to tell you.” I told him quietly, looking away.
“Kolya.” My body shivered at the way my nickname sounded with his voice. “Whatever it is, I will never leave. There is something about you that keeps drawing me back and makes me want to stay.”
But you won’t stay if you know what I am.
“Can I tell you tomorrow?” I asked. Even if he did reject me and I went back to Emery, I could still let my dad know I told my mate the truth. That way, I would have one less thing to make my dad worry about.
“Of course.” I sighed in relief at his answer. Maybe I was worrying about this too much. I jumped when I felt Lysander pull me into a hug, his soft lips on mine. I smiled in the kiss. “Buonanotte, amore mio.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, curious about his language now. He smiled and chuckled.
“It is Italian. I said Goodnight, my love.” I blushed at the meaning and snuggled into his chest.
“I really don’t want to leave you.” I said softly, and it was the truth. I knew I needed to go back into the hotel. Nate and Essie had most likely found out more information, and it wasn’t safe being outside alone. But I suddenly felt like crying at the thought of leaving without Lysander.
“Then don’t.” His words surprised me, and I looked up to see him string at me with a serious face.
“Where would we go? I refuse to bring you into my room, what if Nate being in there. And there’s no way in hell I’m going back to your house.”
“Then we get our own room.” I had no time to object before I was being dragged inside the hotel. This was bad. Really bad.
“Lysander, can’t we choose a different hotel? I mean, this is my hotel.” He ignored me and walked over to the front desk.
I didn’t understand the conversation, seeing as they spoke in Greek. The woman at the desk looked at us in a funny way before typing away on her computer. She looked back up and said something to Lysander in a bored tone, which he replied with an equally bored tone. Next thing I know, I was being led up the elevator to the room Lysander had apparently just booked.
I watched the number of the floors light up, secretly praying it didn’t land on my floor, and when it didn’t, I felt myself relax.
“Would you be willing to discuss this secret now, once we reach our room? You can lock the door if you think I’ll run away.” He said the last part softly and I felt a something twist at my heart.
“I thought you said you wouldn’t run away?” I asked, my voice cracking as I felt the fear rising up. It immediately went away though, when I saw the soft smile on Lysander’s lips.
“I won’t. I just thought it would make you feel better, seeing as you keep thinking I will.” I was tempted to smack him, but the elevator reached our floor, and I was being dragged off and towards our room. I felt a sudden surge of panic go through me as Lysander unlocked and opened the door. I was going to tell him everything tonight, but then what?
You know exactly what. I’ve seen your dreams, I know what you want. My face heated up at my wolves words. Where the fuck did he come from?
I’ve always been here you dipshit. I was just pretending to be asleep so you would act on your own, and not follow my instincts. I watched Lysander close and lock the door and I suddenly understood it all. I accepted Lysander on my own terms, not my wolves.
I fell in love with him on my own.
Throwing away my self-consciousness, I walked over to him and grabbed his neck, locking my lips to his. I wanted him. For myself. Not for my wolf, not to just mate.
I wanted to be one with him.
I bit his lower lip, wanting him to open his mouth, but he refused to. Why wasn’t he kissing me back? Did he not just say he wanted to be with me? I pulled away and looked at him confused. “Why aren’t you doing anything?”
“Because we have an important matter to discuss first. After that, then we can continue.” I backed away from him, my new found confidence washing away.
“That is if you still want to.” I heard him groan and grab my wrist, throwing me onto the bed.
“What do I have to do to make you realize I am not leaving you, no matter what?” He pleaded as he sat down next to me. I was already taking a big step in telling him all this, why not take it further.
“Promise me no matter what, after I tell you everything, you will try to understand before you leave. And even if you don’t, I just want you to know how much emotional turmoil this whole thing is causing me.”
“Nikolai—“He reached up and touched my cheek, but I flinched away at his touch, feeling my groin throb painfully.
“Just listen and don’t touch. I don’t know what brought this on, but to put it bluntly, I really want you to fuck me right now.” I was shocked at my vulgarity, and I could tell Lysander was too, but he closed his eyes and nodded his head, telling me he was ready to listen.
“I am a werewolf. But not like the ones that eat humans. We are equivalent to that of actual wolves, eating other animals. Only difference is we are slightly bigger, and, well…we can change our form. There are many things we get as werewolves, and one of them is that our lifetime partner is chosen for us. “ I stopped and waited for the scared expression or feared look in his eyes, but I saw neither. He was just staring at me like I was telling him the summary of a book. I took another deep breath and continued. “When we first met, did it feel like the world had stopped the minute you looked at me? Every time that my name was mentioned, you felt this sudden desire to hold me in your arms and when you saw me being intimate with someone other than you, your heart felt like it was shattering?” He slowly nodded his head.
“Those are the signs that you found your mate.” I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer had to worry about whether or not he was going to find out I was a werewolf, because now, he knew.
“So what you were afraid of telling me was that I am your mate?” He asked slowly, which I nodded my head in approval. “I really want to punch you in the throat.” He deadpanned. I looked at him, my eyes wide. What the hell?
“I like you enough as it is. Hell, I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with you, and now, I have a reason to.” The last part sent chills all over my body.
HE was okay with it. He was okay with being my mate.
I couldn’t stop the smile that formed on my lips, and when I saw Lysander give the same smile, I felt all the desire from earlier rushing back. I leaned forward, placing one hand on his chest while the other rested on the bed.
“Is this feeling right now also due to me being your mate?” He whispered against my lips. I glanced down at his mouth, then to his eyes, shocked at the amount of lust in them.
“More or less.” And then his mouth was on mine, parting my lips with his tongue.
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