Edited
My eyes were still puffy as I sat in the library, studying for AP, meanwhile Aiden sat there quietly, working on his English essay that I helped him begin. He wasn't saying anything or doing anything stupid because I think he knew I wasn't in the mood for it. In fact, I felt him gaze up at me every once in a while, like he wanted to say something, but he never did.
After I'd seen Evan with Gabby I went to the bathroom and practically balled my eyes out for the rest of the lunch period. I locked myself in the stall for a good hour, feeling the most confused I'd felt in my entire life. After everything Evan and I had talked about at the party, I thought we were finally moving forward. I thought the days of us, avoiding each other and dancing around what we really wanted to say were over...but I guess not.
I was thankful that Aiden wasn't trying to be difficult today. It meant a lot to know that he could at least respect my feelings. Other than he and I exchanging a few words, we just worked for most of the time. I could feel the tension between us, but I didn't try to break it. I wasn't in the mood to talk about anything. I just wanted to get this tutor session over with, so I could go home and ball my eyes out some more.
Aiden threw his pencil down on the table, abruptly standing up, his tall figure towering over me. "Okay—that's it," he held his hand out to me, "come on."
I looked at him, my eyes still puffy. "What?" I whispered, my eyes still puffy.
"Get up," he repeated, matter-of-factly.
"Why?"
In that moment, Aiden didn't seem in the mood for any type of argument or bantering like we usually did. He began to gather my things, shutting my Biology book, stuffing my colored pens into my pen pouch, placing my papers back into my folder, and stuffing everything into my backpack.
"What are you doing?" I asked, just wanting to finish this tutor session so I could go home and cry some more.
He grabbed my backpack, along with his and threw it over his shoulder. "I'm taking you somewhere fun,"
"Aiden no—!"
"No, no, no, no!" he said. "Don't feed me that shit about how you have to study for AP and go do a bunch of chores, okay? You need a break, Emery. You study too damn much!"
"Aiden—!"
He didn't bother listening to anything else I had to say after that, he simply grabbed my hand and pulled me upright, before dragging me along with him to wherever we were going. At this point, there was absolutely no arguing with him despite my many attempts. He just ended up ignoring me completely until we finally made it to his car.
Although everything that had happened today had my spirits down, driving around town with Aiden, with the windows rolled down and the gentle breeze blowing through my hair, did manage to life my spirits some. I had absolutely no clue where we were going, but all knew in that moment, was that I think I was smiling.
I turned to look at Aiden, "Where are we going?!" I asked.
He shook his head, a small smirk on his face indicating he had no intentions of telling me anything, which I rolled my eyes at. This boy could be so absolutely annoying sometimes.
We drove for a few more minutes through the small town that was Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania. My head was turned so that I could look out the window and watch as the buildings passed us by. We went through the center of town where Bloomsburg University was located and the fancy Papaleno's Restaurant, home of the world's best pizza. No one could top it. And then finally we arrived at our destination, which just so happened to be Grand Central Park, located right in the heart and center of the town.
It was just as I'd remembered it, with its plush green grass and beautifully adorned elephant fountain that was right smack dab in the middle of the park. It was surrounded by a tall tan slide, monkey bars, seesaws, and swings, along with a set of benches and a path that circled all the way around the park. Trees lined the edge and there was a great, big, tall, oak just to the left of the seesaws.
I reminisced at the memories that came back to me as Aiden parked his car in the empty lot of the park. My eyes were trained on the tall oak tree that held so many memories for me.
Right next to this park, was the elementary school I had attended when I was a small child. The city permitted us to use the park as our playground, so it was technically considered school property. I had spent countless mornings in this playground under that very oak tree, learning, growing, and of course seeking shade from the sun. In fact, this tree was the very tree I had first seen Evan underneath. At that thought, I felt the swelling in my stomach and the tears starting to prickle my eyes. I looked down at my feet as Aiden walked over.
He looked at me, gesturing with his head towards the slides. "Come on,"
He pulled me along behind him, my hand in his as he guided me up the stairs and stood there.
"We're not seriously going on a slide are we?" I asked, staring at him a bit annoyed.
I'm 17 years old.
He looked at me and I think for the first time that I'd ever met Aiden, he got serious. "When was the last time you just... acted stupid?" he asked. "When was the last time you just acted like a crazy teenager and had fun?"
When was the last time I acted my age instead of like a thirty-year-old woman working three jobs with five kids? I honestly couldn't even remember. It's just always been that way ... ever since mom left.
I opened my mouth, surprised by his question. In fact, I'm not even sure I had an answer. "I—I don't know,"
"Come on, live a little,"
He was right. I worry too much. I do too much. I spend so much time thinking about the future that I forget to live in the moment. I forget to cherish the fact that I'm young. I forget that I'm not supposed to have my life together or know what I want to do. I forget that right now I should be acting reckless and stupid just like every other teenager.
And so, as everything dawned on me I couldn't help but smile a little at him. I sat down on the slide and launched myself forward, sliding down the short little thing. And when I reached the bottom I realized that it wasn't as ridiculous as I thought it was.
"Well?" he called from the top of the tower, a small grin on his face as I looked up at him.
I smiled up at him. "That was actually kind of fun,"
After that... there was no stopping us. I went down that slide so many times, laughing and giggling as I went down, head first, and Aiden even somersaulted in, before landing face first on the ground at the bottom. I burst out laughing at that one.
We spent the next hour just hanging out and acting like crazy teenagers. I even got on the see saw with him and he launched me up into the air like a little toddler, but you know what? For that small little time period... I felt free. Free of all the stress, free of my fears and doubts and struggles. Free of everything.
I hadn't realized how long we'd been there until I saw the sun starting to set as Aiden and I swung on the swing, soaring as high as we could go, but I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay forever and never forget this feeling. Never forget the feeling of being young and free of worries.
As Aiden and I continued swinging, he decided it was a good idea to launch himself off in mid-air and try landing on his feet. I remembered countless times when I was younger, and boys would do the same exact thing all the time just to impress us, but they always ended up getting hurt.
I was strongly against this.
"Aiden don't!" I laughed as he pushed to get more height.
"Too late!" he yelled as I watched him launch himself off the swing and for a split second I felt my stomach drop.
This boy had a death wish.
I watched him fly through the air, before he landed right on his shoulder, instead of his feet. He rolled around, groaning and I felt myself panicking. I dragged my feet on the ground, stopping the swing before I got out and ran to him, crouching down next to him.
"Aiden, oh my god—!" He rolled over and to my utter surprise he was laughing. The jerk face was laughing at me. "You jerk!" I cried, smacking him. "I thought you broke your arm!"
He kept laughing, pointing his finger at my face and grabbing his stomach in pain, as I started giggling, before I began laughing with him. I don't know how long we just sat there and cried in laughter, but I honestly can't even remember a time when I laughed that hard. It had been so long.
I looked at him as he laid on his back. "Thank you... Aiden. For this. I can't even remember the last time I laughed or had this much fun."
He sat up, looking at me.
"Why?" he asked as I looked into his eyes. "You're seventeen years old, Emery. You should be having the time of your life right now, not sitting inside studying all the time." he brushed the grass off his hands. "I mean... you've gotta live your life."
I shook my head, looking down at my lap. "I don't know, Aiden. I guess—I guess I'm just scared."
"Scared of what?"
I sighed. "Of failing—disappointing people. I just—!" I shut my eyes.
Why was I sharing this with him? I'd never shared this fear with anyone in my entire life, not even Autumn. This was something I'd always kept bottled inside me. Something that I've never felt comfortable telling anyone, so why on Earth was I telling him?
"—I'm afraid of failing because I don't want to disappoint my Dad, or anyone else for that matter. I want him to be proud of me. I want to go home and hear him say that he couldn't be happier of everything that I've accomplished. I just want to make him proud and the only way I know how to do that is acting like an adult." I looked over at Aiden who was staring at me intently.
He must think I'm completely stupid.
I chuckled, looking down at my lap. "You think that's ridiculous, don't you? To be afraid of failing?"
There was silence for a moment.
"No," he answered as I looked up at him in surprise and he stared back at me, "it's not ridiculous." he looked away, staring off into the distance before he began speaking. "You know I've been with a lot of girls in my lifetime, Emery. Some of them were afraid of snakes, some of spiders, some of heights, but never of failing. I can tell you that much." he looked back at me. "Do you realize that there's a million things you could be afraid of in this world and the one thing you're afraid of... is failing?" he paused. "That's not ridiculous. It's brave."
I was taken aback by the words that he'd spoken as I stared at him. Never in my life, would I have ever thought that I'd confide in Aiden with something I'd never even told my best friend. And never in my life did I think he'd listen to me and give me such a... wise answer. But that was when I realized something, as I sat there next to him.
There was so much more to this boy than anyone knew.
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Hey you all! Happy Friday and I hope you all enjoyed this week's double update!
Shoutout to @sotos_ , @Kotkoda, & @happysweet94for voting! Your votes are so appreciated you all! Thank you so much!
So, how are we feeling about the fact that Emery's revealed something pretty personal to Aiden already? What do you think he's going to do with this newfound information?
What is your opinion on Aiden?
Do you think he's a good guy or not?
Please don't forget to vote and comment! Until next Friday then!
- Katy