Hello!
I opened my window and whispered.
How are you?
Alone in my room, with no one.
Morning!
The morning has arrived, with a heavy downpour.
Tick-tock.
Someone please rewind my spring for me.
- Hello/How Are You, Hatsune Miku
-
When was the first time you held hands with somebody?
You wouldn't remember, but the first time you 'held hands' with somebody was when you wrapped your tiny fingers around your mother's thumb when you were born. She cradled your little, delicate body, draped in a towel, as you softly gripped her thumb while you were sleeping.
"Isn't she beautiful?", she wearily whispered, gazing at her newborn daughter lovingly.
Your father pulled his chair closer to your mother's hospital bed and gently circled his large finger around your much smaller palm; the one that wasn't wrapped around your mother's first digit. Your fingers curled around his, and he caressed your chubby cheek and gave you a peck on the forehead.
"She is", he smiled.
The next time, which you also wouldn't remember, was when you were learning to walk. You were giggling wildly and tottering up and down the living room, clinging onto your parents' hands as they showered you with encouragement.
"You can do it, sweetheart!".
"You're doing so well!".
You'd often tumble down onto cushions which were carefully placed on the floor to prevent you from getting hurt.
But soon enough, you were able to walk on your own. Without the need to hold anyone's hand.
And the next time, you remember rather vividly. When you were four, five, six years old, maybe even a couple of years older, your parents would take you to the park on the weekends. They'd stroll alongside you and swing you up whilst you held their hands.
If they took you to the park in the spring or the summer, you'd pick a bunch of daisies and give them to your mother as a present, then sprinkle them all over her hair while you were laughing away. Sometimes you and your family would sit on a picnic blanket and your mother would teach you how to make daisy chains as you sat in your father's lap. You'd get upset when you struggled to successfully make a daisy chain, but she'd comfort you and finish the chain for you. She'd place it on your head and hold your grubby hands to cheer you up, and it worked every time, as you'd be all smiles again in no time.
If they took you to the park in autumn, you'd wander through the gold and brown leaves which would crinkle under your feet. You'd scoop up a bunch of leaves and playfully throw them in the air and your parents would try and duck out of the way to avoid the avalanche of leaves. Then your father would grab you and throw you onto his broad shoulders as you gleefully kicked your legs. You'd tightly hold on to his rough hands so you wouldn't fall backwards. He'd run in circles around your mother, who'd be chirpily chortling at her husband and daughter having fun. And in the car ride home, you'd doze off after an adventurous day.
The first person you held hands with who wasn't your parents, was (F/N). It was the first day of elementary school, and you were sat on the bench in the playground at lunchtime, alone. Being the very first day of school, you were jittery and intimidated, and too shy to mix with your new classmates. You had no idea what to do, so you simply sat there, twiddling your fingers. Your feet barely touched the floor, so your short legs dangled freely off the bench's edge. You gazed at the other children intently, desperate to join in, but unsure how.
Then, a young girl hopped up to you and sat next to you on the bench. She had a childlike face and curious-looking eyes, and her cheeks were tinted pink from playing. She examined your face for a moment, before speaking to you for the first time:
"What's your name?", she asked, plainly.
You glanced down at your hands, one on top of the other and palms upwards in your lap.
"(Y/N)...", you timidly whispered.
"Oh! Cool! I'm (F/N)!". Her eyes widened. You looked up at her.
"Wanna come play with me?", she asked, avidly, "We can play tag!".
"Oh, ok, sure!".
And with that, she grabbed both your hands and tugged you off the bench.
"Tag! You're it!", she called, tapping you on the shoulder and running off, her laughter becoming more and more distant.
You beamed and ran after her, even though she caught you off guard, your feet padding on the concrete of the playground. You saw (F/N) up ahead of you, weaving through the sea of children, crawling under the playground apparatus, and occasionally peering back at you to see if you were close. You were catching up, and your arm was outstretched and ready to tag her. She screamed with delight as you approached.
"Tag!", you squealed, pressing your hand into the small of her back, "Gotcha!". The pair of you slowed down to a halt.
"Hey, you got me!". She turned around. "You better run, 'cause I'm it now!".
You shrieked and dashed off in another direction, and (F/N) sped after you. It didn't take as long for her to catch you, and when she caught you, she instantly zoomed away, so you were now the one in pursuit. And a couple of minutes later, you caught her again.
You and your new friend played tag for the rest of lunch, and time seemed to fly by, as the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch. Both your faces were bright red and you were covered in a thin layer of sweat, and you were both panting, trying to catch your breath.
"That was so fun!", (F/N) exclaimed, as you walked to line up to return to the classroom.
"Yeah!", you agreed, vigorously nodding your head.
"Wait, are you in my class?".
"Um, I think so". You hadn't learnt everybody's names yet, but her name sounded familiar.
"No way!". Then she gasped. "We could do this every day!".
"That sounds so fun", you grinned.
Suddenly, the young girl grabbed your hands and eagerly looked straight into your eyes.
"Will you be my friend?", she asked. You were somewhat taken aback, evident in the "o" shape your mouth made, but also overjoyed to have found a new friend.
"Yeah!", you answered, standing on your tiptoes in excitement.
"Yay!", she cried, giddily bouncing up and down. She threw her arms around your neck, and you placed your arms around her back, hugging your new companion. She released you a few seconds later.
"Come on, let's go back to class", she said, taking hold of your hand and frisking away with you by her side.
And when your first day finally ended, you and (F/N) came out of the classroom to meet your parents, arm in arm and chatting away.
"Look, there they are!", (F/N) said, pointing at her parents, "See you tomorrow, (Y/N)!".
"Oh, ok, bye!", you smiled, hugging her one last time before scurrying off to your parents, a giant grin on your face. Your father scooped you up in his arms as soon as you greeted them.
"Hello, sweetie! How was your first day?", your mother asked, stroking your hair.
"It was great, I made a new friend! She's called (F/N)", you answered, glancing at your new friend, who was jumping up and down in front of her parents.
"Is that her?". Your mother and father followed the direction your finger was pointing in, where their eyes landed on the small girl.
"Yep!".
"That's lovely, honey", they said, softly.
(F/N) turned around and waved to you, and you waved back as you were carried off to go home.
And from that day forth, the two of you were inseparable best friends.
All throughout elementary school and junior high school, you continued being best friends. She'd be your shoulder to cry on when you needed it, and you'd be her shoulder to cry on when she needed it. You'd clutch each other's hands for comfort, and after calming down, you'd lean on each other and stuff yourselves with junk food while watching TV, if you were at one another's houses. Other times, you'd rest on each other and listen to music, sharing a pair of earphones. In fact, you'd do that even if you weren't sad.
-
And right now, it wasn't long after eight o'clock, and you were sat in class, waiting for the teacher and other students. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were already sat in their seats, and (F/N) had pulled up a chair to sit with you at your desk. Her hand was laid on top of yours as her thumb stroked your knuckles. She was trying to console you, even though you weren't panicking, about what was due to happen in a few hours at lunch. Yes, you were stuggling with knowing what you'd say to Yamaguchi, but it wasn't causing you a massive amount of trouble. Just a little.
"It's gonna be ok!", (F/N) reassured you.
"Honestly, I'm fine". You mumbled, your other hand pressed to the side of your head.
"Nah, I can tell you're overthinking".
"What? No I'm not".
"Yeah you are. You're more on edge than usual". You weren't going to lie, it was bugging you a small amount. You sighed.
"Yeah...I guess...", you admitted.
"Knew it, told ya. You'll be fine~".
"But what do I say?". (F/N) leaned back, and looked pensive.
"Hmm...I dunno...Maybe you could...Er...". She beckoned you to come closer. "Maybe talk to him about what happened yesterday? Y'know, with the books?". She sounded hesitant towards the end of her sentence.
You moved your lips to the side and squinted, in thought.
"I guess...", you muttered.
"Sorry I brought that up again".
"Mm...It's fine".
You peered over at the boys; Tsukishima was nonchalantly listening to music, his chin rested on his interlocked fingers, while Yamaguchi was silently reading a book, a smile rested upon his lips despite being completely disregarded by his best friend. You prayed (F/N) wouldn't notice the tinge of pink that coloured your cheeks, but she did. She simply smirked and said nothing. How the hell did she notice almost everything?! But why were you blushing? And why were you blushing when you looked at Tadashi?
No, surely not.
You couldn't.
But before you could think about him any longer, Mr Okuda entered the room, seemingly energised. As he placed his pile of books and files on his desk, he spoke:
"Ah, it's always you four, isn't it?". It was unlikely he'd get a proper answer from anyone, seeing as you could all be pretty awkward when it came to him, but still, you answered with an inaudible "Yep" and a nod of the head.
"Aw come on, what's wrong with y'all?". You mentally groaned at him using the word 'y'all', like he thought it made him ten times cooler. "It's halfway through the week, I'm feeling hash brown blessed!".
Cue the imaginary crickets chirping and the non-existent tumbleweed rolling by. You really did appreciate Mr Okuda's humour and merry character, but sometimes the things he could come out with were absolutely ridiculous. They were like dad-jokes; funny, but totally cringy. You could feel the second-hand embarrassment radiating from him like a radiator.
(F/N) shot an uncomfortable glance over at him, and then proceeded to speak, slowly and gingerly:
"Sir...It's hashTAG", she murmured, emphasising the 'tag' at the end of 'hashtag'.
"What? Is it?".
"Yeah...".
"My bad", he chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.
None of you dared ask him about his 'y'all', and to be completely honest, you didn't want to know where the hell he got it from. Would it be worrying if he had a secret Tumblr account no one knew about?
(F/N) was still staring with a mildly disapproving look, and from the corner of your eye, you caught Tsukishima glaring at her, also with a disapproving look. Her eyes shifted a millimetre, so she was now making full eye contact with the blond. Her expression changed from disapproval to a rather disgusted glower, as did his. If the teacher wasn't present, she'd probably mouth some profanity at him, like "Fuck off", or "Fight me you blond bitch", and that would certainly not be ideal. Not right now. Or at all, for that matter.
You took this opportunity to subtly peek at Yamaguchi one more time. You tugged the cuff of your jumper over your fingertips and rested your chin on your hand, so an inch of your sleeve was covering a small portion of your face. Which was handy, as it would conceal you in case your face went red again.
He was still reading, with a peaceful smile resting upon his lips, his face still the same innocent, doe-eyed demeanor as it always was. You studied him from afar, from his wild hair, to his dark orbs, to his scattered freckles, to his sunny smile. Even to his long legs, which were bent so they were directly underneath his seat, and his ankles crossed. God, why did he have to be so adorable?
But why did you find him to be so?
One week ago, you never really paid attention to him, but ever since yesterday when you discovered it was him who was your soulmate, you haven't been able to stop thinking about him. It was a funny thing. A very funny thing.
But he was just so...cute. And you never expected to see him that way.
"Are you ever going to stop staring?". (F/N)'s sudden whisper directly into your ear made you blink heavily. You prayed that the blood wouldn't start rushing to your face again, but too bad, it already had, as you had been caught out yet again by your best friend. You were about to protest when you took your hand away from your mouth, but nothing came out. Instead your mouth just opened and closed like a fish. (F/N) simply pulled a complacent face that had, 'Ha, you can't even deny it', written all over it.
When more of your classmates started coming in, the room began to get louder, so (F/N) took the opportunity to talk to you properly:
"Don't lie, you were staring", she said, trying to get you to admit it. You couldn't deny that you were, but you simply couldn't own up to it either. Not because you were scared of anyone finding out. Not because you thought that (F/N) wouldn't let you hear the end of it. But for another reason. Something else you were having trouble admitting to.
There was this feeling, in the pit of your stomach. It was a weird feeling; not uneasy, or distressing, or anything like that, but a little spark igniting a warmth. It was somewhat akin to a seedling; the more it was fed, the stronger it would become. And the longer it was left, the more likely it was to die. And it seemed as though you'd been catering to this feeling, whether you realised it or not, for a while now, as you found it hard to ignore. Thus, leaving it to grow and grow until it flourished into something bigger.
You didn't know what to call this feeling, but it made you feel both excited and nervous. It was too early to know what exactly this feeling was. But what you did know is that you were feeling it, even though it was only the beginning. And you felt it when you thought about him.
Him.
No one else.
Just him.
A shaky "Hmm" was the only thing that escaped your lips. You didn't know what else to say. You had nothing else to say.
"That's all? 'Hmm'?". (F/N) questioned you, folding her arms, showing that she was getting fed up of you denying that you were ogling the boy.
"Sorry...I just...uh...", you started, looking away from her in shame.
"You don't trust me? You don't think you can tell me stuff?". She raised an eyebrow suspiciously.
"No! No, it's not that...". You trailed off.
"Then what?". You desperately wanted to tell her how you were feeling, but there was no way you could describe it to her in words, because you could barely even describe it to yourself in your own head. And if you revealed to her that you actually were staring, she'd probably make jokes about 'how much you wanted to get laid' and make kissing noises whenever Yamaguchi walked by. Obviously meant with no malign intent, but still enough to make you feel the embarrassment.
"N-nothing...I...ugh, fine, I was staring", you faltered, trying to just get out what you had to say.
"See, I knew you were", she proudly grinned.
You sighed, mentally preparing yourself for whatever crap your best friend was going to come out with next.
"Hee hee, I bet you have a crush on him, don't you?".
I bet you have a crush on him, don't you?
All of a sudden your heart began pounding, like a tennis ball ricocheting off the walls within your chest. You tried to hide how it made you flinch, even if it was just a tiny bit. Those ten words echoed around your head, over and over. But for what reason? Of course you didn't have a crush on Yamaguchi...
But at the same time, (F/N)'s words seemed to set something off inside you: it shocked you that she'd suggest something like that, but it also made you feel kind of...embarrassed?
"What? I do not!", you hissed, feeling a sneaky bead of sweat trickle down the back of your neck. Shit.
"Alright, alright, keep your hair on". (F/N) raised her hands in defence, although it was clear she didn't believe you.
"You don't believe me?", you asked, trying to sound hurt and offended, but your words came out hasty, mumbled and monotonous.
(F/N) exhaled. "(Y/N)...as your best friend...", she started, firmly planting her hand on your shoulder, "It is my duty to inform you that you are lying".
"I am not!".
"Uh-huh...".
There wasn't really anything else you could say. You didn't want to argue more with (F/N), but you absolutely DID NOT have a crush on Yamaguchi! Blushing and feeling warm and happy around him meant nothing...
But truthfully, did it actually mean nothing?
"Anyways...", (F/N) sighed, slowly standing up, "See you in a bit...lesson's starting". She subtly pointed her finger over at Mr Okuda, who was keenly rubbing his hands together, waiting to commence the lesson. You said your goodbyes to her, your voice now more temperate than it was before. But you weren't exactly feeling the same way on the inside: your heart was aflutter and you were jittery, maybe even a little embarrassed. Like you'd just been caught out with something...
If only today could just be over and done with right now. You would no longer be stressing about what you'd say to your alleged 'crush' Yamaguchi, and (F/N) would no longer be hounding you about it. But if your conversation at lunch wasn't going to go smoothly, then you'd never stop thinking about it. You'd never stop thinking about how much of an ass you'd made yourself look. Especially in front of him. And although you didn't want to admit it, thanking him for helping you out when you were caught up in the textbook situation yesterday would actually make a good conversation starter - it was straight to the point, and it meant that the conversation would flow from there.
It seemed simple enough.
The closer it got to your lunch break, the tenser and more terrifying the idea of talking to the boy got, even though he was just about one of the sweetest people in existence. The hours ticked by so slowly it was painful, and it was long since the stomach pains of anxiety had begun. And when the dreaded moment finally arrived, you could barely breathe properly.
-
The bell sounded signifying the beginning of lunch, so your teacher began to wrap up the lesson, while a few students around he room started stretching and rocking back and forth in their chairs in exhaustion. And when the teacher was done talking, you were dismissed and the teacher bustled out of classroom carrying their stack of files and papers. Your classmates began standing up and sloping off to sit with their friends, the sound of chatter filling the room. That's when you noticed (F/N) approaching with her bag slung over her shoulder, hips swaying as she walked. She reached your table, but she didn't place her bag down on the floor next to yours, or pull out a chair to sit with you like she normally did. Instead, she looked down at you, and spoke:
"Ready?".
You peered back up at her, although you were unable to make eye contact. You sucked your lips into a thin line and drew in a shaky breath. 'No', you thought, 'I'm not ready'.
Ignoring your thoughts, no matter how hard they weighed down on your mind, you nervously yet tensely smiled, and forced yourself to get up, stabilising yourself by planting your hand on your desk.
"Yep", you lied, trying to fight off your sudden lightheadedness. Once you had gotten your balance, you removed your hand from the table to find a hand-shaped smear of sweat. Thankfully it evaporated quickly, as you didn't want (F/N) to see just how on edge you really were.
'I can't do this', you internally cried to yourself. You were petrified. Of talking to a kind-hearted boy like Yamaguchi. It was a silly thing to be scared of, because Yamaguchi wouldn't harm a fly. Yet you were worried about making a fool of yourself, or even worse, making him hate you. Whether he was really capable of hating someone, you didn't know. However what you did know, was that you absolutely couldn't make this go wrong.
But you had to do it sooner or later. He's your soulmate, for heaven's sake! If you didn't do it now, Yamaguchi would find someone else, and he wouldn't look back at you. Knowing that you hadn't even tried to talk to him. Despite the crazy amount of panic you were feeling right now, that thought was enough to shatter your heart.
So that's why you had to do it.
That's why you had to do it now.
(F/N) linked her arm with yours and whisper-sang in your ear, "Don't be scared~!". You nervously inhaled and swallowed as she walked forward, pulling you along with her. Out of the corner of your eye, you peered over at Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. They were in conversation, with Yamaguchi leaning slightly forward, and Tsukishima rocking back on his chair with his hands behind his head, his head turned a fraction towards his friend. You tried to sneak a look at Yamaguchi's soulmate mark, but it was too small to see from where you were standing.
Somehow, (F/N) was able to sense how highly-strung you were, because she paused when you reached the desk next to you, and placed her hands on your shoulders and looked you in the eye, while you timidly looked down at the floor.
"Listen", she began, somewhat sternly, "do you believe me when I tell you everything will be okay?".
You almost felt like you had no choice but to believe her.
She continued. "You're smart, so you'll know what to say. And you're friendly, and what's not to like about that?". You took some slight comfort in her words, but you still felt the anxious pang in your stomach, your hands getting clammier by the second. The tips of your fingers tingled uncomfortably and your heartbeat rapidly sped up, thudding so hard in your chest you were convinced there was an earthquake happening within your body. Despite all this, you managed to take a deep breath, and whisper out an "Okay".
(F/N) flashed you a tough-looking grin, before slapping the small of your back, making you jump. "Let's go", she said.
She took your sweaty hand and led you over towards the two boys. You began to wonder what (F/N) and Tsukishima would do in each other's presence, seeing as they disliked each other so much. Would they ignore each other or would they have a heated battle of quick-fire and snidey remarks? You sincerely hoped they'd leave each other alone and not start squabbling. Although Tsukishima wasn't really a person for arguments, his words could cut like a knife.
The world seemed to go in slow motion, or even stop altogether, making ten seconds seem like ten years. All you could feel was the blood pumping wildly around your head, and the almost-crippling anxiety weighing down on your slumped shoulders. Your stomach twisted and you felt like you'd throw up any minute. And these feelings were intensified greatly when Tsukishima glanced up at you, his golden-brown eyes boring into your soul, seemingly judging you like a magistrate. You held your breath upon realising that you had been so caught up in your emotions, you didn't even notice that the very boy you wanted to talk to was right in front of your eyes.
Yamaguchi peered up at you curiously, shocking your heart into hammering against your ribcage. If you said a word, you were sure to stutter. Finally, (F/N) broke the paper-thin ice:
"Ah, Yamaguchi, may we sit with you?", she asked coolly. How on earth was she able to stay so calm whilst you had to try, with every fibre of your being, to not pass out on the spot?
"Oh...O-okay, sure!", he sweetly replied, his cheeks turning pink.
But before you could bring over an empty chair for yourself, Tsukishima stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Before he could move anywhere, Yamaguchi half stood up and stuck his arm out in an attempt to stop his friend.
"Tsukki, where are you going?", he asked.
"...Bathroom...", he grumbled, burying the lower half of his face in his gakuran. You had an inkling that might have been a lie, but (F/N), on the other hand, knew full-well that it was a lie; he didn't want to be in her presence. Not that she cared or anything, though.
"Oh! Right!".
And with that, the blond sloped out of the room without another word, and his friend sat down again.
"A-ah! Please, take a seat!", the freckled boy offered. You shakily reached for a chair and pulled it over, and slowly sitting to the left of Yamaguchi. You balled your hands up into fists and tucked them in your lap, trying to hide them as they were now drenched in your sweat. Ew.
(F/N) reached for the chair that Tsukishima had been sat in, and stared at it disgustedly, like it had been riddled with diseases. She turned the chair around to sit opposite Yamaguchi, and the three of you sat in an awkwardly silent semi-circle.
Yamaguchi and (F/N) rummaged around in their bags, and brought out their lunches, setting them on the rather cramped table. A soft voice made you raise your head:
"(Y/N)...aren't you going to eat?", Yamaguchi asked, sounding somewhat concerned.
"Oh...". Your voice was barely above a whisper. Eating was literally the last thing on your mind right now. Unless it was acceptable to throw up your bento in front of your soulmate. Which, of course, it absolutely wasn't. "Right...".
You took out your lunch and opened it, but instead of putting it in your mouth, you simply poked at it. Yamaguchi lifted a ball of rice into his mouth and smiled, satisfied. You subtly craned your head to face (F/N), and looked at her helplessly, silently begging her to tell you what to do now. But, she wasn't looking at you, so your eyes were cast down back to your lap. Until you felt a prod at your side. Flicking your head round to the source of said prod, (F/N), you noticed her mouth something to you, which you recognised as 'Talk to him!'.
It would have been no use asking her to tell you what to say, so you were left to your own devices. Ah, independence. So, you took a deep breath, and...
"Hey, uh, Ya-Yamaguchi?", you stuttered in a voice that was only just audible.
"Hm? Yes?", he replied, lowering his chopsticks.
"Um...I just wanted to say...th-thank you for helping me yesterday...you know, with the textbooks". Nailed it.
He processed what you had just said, then broke out into a charming smile. "Oh! No problem!".
"Yeah, uh...also, sorry for pretty much making you pick them up for me when I dropped them".
"What? Of course you didn't!", he chuckled.
"Oh...Are you sure?".
"Yeah!". Yamaguchi then calmed a little. "It must've been kind of embarassing, huh...". He bashfully scratched his cheek with his finger.
Your expression sank slightly. "A bit...". Yamaguchi noticed, and he quickly became flustered.
"A-ah, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bring it up again", he cried, his face flushed pink.
You faintly smiled at the boy's courtesy. "Please, don't apologise", you reassured him.
"R-really?". You nodded. "Oh...okay".
There was a silent pause for a few seconds, before Yamaguchi perked up once more:
"Um...also, sorry about Tsukki laughing at you...he-he didn't mean any harm by it! He's just...like that...sometimes". That was something both you and (F/N) knew all too well. Although (F/N) appeared to be less forgiving about it.
You shook your head. "Ah, no, it's fine", you replied.
"What? Really?".
You nodded, and Yamaguchi sighed in relief.
"Hah...thank god...".
You peered down at your untouched bento, verecund, although your eyes seemed to stare right through it. There was a nudge at your foot, which came from (F/N), who was making the "okay" sign at you with her hand. Surely that must mean you were doing alright so far? Until she nudged you a second time, and beckoned you to come closer. You leaned in and she whispered in your ear.
"Say something else".
"Like what?", you whispered back, nearly mouthing your words.
"I dunno, anything".
You had to think quickly what you'd say next, otherwise the three of you would end up being bored out of your skin for the rest of your lunch break.
Wait.
Hold the phone.
Yamaguchi was a volleyball player, wasn't he?
Bingo.
"Hey, Yamaguchi, you play volleyball, don't you?", you asked, rather out of the blue for someone who was only just beginning to get into the swing of conversing with their soulmate.
"Oh, er, yeah, I do", he answered, enlivened by your interest. "Why do you ask?".
"I was just curious". Yamaguchi looked so enthusiastic, you could have sworn he was about to burst. "Can you tell me more about it?". Relief then washed over the boy's face, as if he was secretly hoping you'd ask about it.
"Yes!", he exclaimed. "A-ah, where should I start?".
You smiled patiently, waiting for him to say something, as you knew almost nothing of the sport, apart from the fact the ball wasn't allowed to touch the floor.
"Oh, right! I'm a middle blocker and the pinch server on the team-".
"Sorry, wait", you unintentionally interrupted him, "What are they?".
"Hm?", he took a second to absorb your question. Then, he answered, slowly. "Well, middle blockers block the ball so the opponent can't get it over the net, and the pinch server...they serve the ball over the net when their team are in a pinch!". You nodded, taking a mental note.
"Tsukki plays volleyball too, and he's also a middle blocker", Yamaguchi continued.
'I bet it's easy for Tsukishima to play volleyball', you thought to yourself, 'He's so tall...'.
"There's loads of others on the team as well - there's a short guy with ginger hair called Hinata, and he's amazing at jumping!".
So that's what his name is - the small, yet loud boy whose jumping skills were unmatched, was called Hinata. It suited him quite well, if you were being honest.
You leaned forward slightly, signalling the boy to carry on telling you about the members of his volleyball team. It was really beginning to pique your interest, and you really wanted to know more.
"And...there's also a guy called Kageyama, and he's one of our setters. He's a really good setter too...", Yamaguchi mused, leaning on his hand in thought.
"What's a setter?", you asked, pulling the boy out of his pondering. His chocolate-brown eyes shifted back to you.
"They put the ball in the air so the attackers can hit it over the net", he explained, simply.
"Ah. Okay", you acknowledged. Could he have been the angry-looking guy who was always drinking milk? Possibly...
Curious to know more about the team, you asked: "Who are the others on the team?". Yamaguchi took a moment to think of a response.
"Mm...well...there's the captain, Daichi...and the vice-captain, Sugawara". He paused to think for a second time. "There's also some really loud second years called Tanaka and Nishinoya. And there are others too, they're all really friendly!". He smiled, proudly.
Returning the smile, you replied: "That's good".
You and Yamaguchi spent the rest of your lunch break talking about volleyball - how he got into the sport, the volleyball training camp he went to in the summer - almost everything there was to know about volleyball. You lapped up all this new and fascinating information, eager to know more and more. Then you'd veer off into other topics; what you did in your free time, hobbies and pastimes, your friendships. (F/N) occasionally chipped in, although she was happy to leave you and Yamaguchi to bond by yourselves. As lunch went on, your previous inhibitions had been left behind and you were conversing with him with no problems. But honestly, what did you have to worry about in the first place?
It almost felt like you two were the only people in the world.
But then you snapped back to reality when the bell rang, indicating the end of lunch, and the beginning of your first afternoon lesson. It took you a moment to remember exactly where you were and what time of day it was, and everything around you just seemed so warped.
Is this how communicating with your soulmate felt? Like you had been transported into a completely different world, where it was just the two of you?
You gazed around the classroom, slightly dazed, trying to figure out what was going on. The students in the room started to stand up around you, although they looked blurry and out of focus. All of a sudden, you realised that you had to move back to your seat by the window, and depart from Tadashi. But wasn't there something else?
It niggled you until you once again glanced at Yamaguchi, who was bending over to put his empty bento box back in his bag.
Shit. You'd forgotten about your bento.
But that would have to wait, as it wasn't the thing you were trying to remember. Then it hit you: you were planning to give Yamaguchi your phone number. Sure, it was stupid and a bit cliché to hand over your number just like that, but what was the point of today being the only day you'd talk to him? Wouldn't it be a good idea to talk to him outside of school too?
You had to think quickly on your feet, so you frantically dived into your bag and drew out a crumpled piece of paper and a pencil. Shoving your uneaten lunch to the other side of the table to make room, you began scrawling down a series of numbers, whilst simultaneously trying to get Yamaguchi's attention.
"Hey, uh, Yamaguchi?", you asked, your eyes flicking between writing the numbers, and Yamaguchi.
"Yes?".
"I, er, really enjoyed this! Y'know, talking to you today. We should do it again sometime", you said, scribbling down the final digit, and hurriedly drawing a smiley face for good measure. You then slid the paper over to him, and he peered at what was written on it, eyes narrowing, as if he was trying to decipher what these numbers meant. Then they widened at the realisation that those numbers were indeed your phone number.
"O-oh, right! Thank you!". There was a faint pink colour spread out across his freckled cheeks along with his typical diffident smile. Which, in turn, also caused your cheeks to become pink, although it was hidden as you leaned down to scoop up your bag. Standing up, you slung your bag around your shoulder and leaned over the table to pick up your bento box, pencil still in hand.
As you and (F/N) were about to go back to your seats, Tsukishima's looming figure approached behind (F/N), his expression miffed as usual. (F/N) had the odd ability to sense his presence, like she was able to smell him from miles away, as she looked up at him, frowning. The colour in his face told you that he hadn't been in the bathroom all throughout lunch. Maybe he was practicing volleyball?
Tsukishima glared down at her, before hissing ,"Move".
(F/N) sassily placed her hand on her hip, muttering a smug, "Gladly". Both you and Yamaguchi were visibly grimacing, silently praying they wouldn't give into their rivalry and start a fight. The way Tsukishima would stay calm, yet could be so savage in a war of words, pissed (F/N) off. A lot.
Thankfully, she turned around and took a few steps towards you, allowing Tsukishima to plonk down in his seat, dropping his belongings at his feet. Sighing a breath of relief, you glanced back to Yamaguchi and bowed.
"Thanks for letting us sit with you. I'll see you later!", you chirped, considerably more confident than you were an hour ago.
"Ah, you're welcome, I loved it too!". He beamed from ear to ear, making you feel fluttery. Although not in a nervous way like before, but with happiness. How could a simple smile do this to you?
You coyly smiled back, as (F/N) tugged your arm. "Come on", she said, pulling you away from your soulmate. Craning your head, you waved goodbye to him, and he reciprocated the action.
She returned to her seat up front of the class, and you sat down at yours, and popped a small ball of rice in your mouth from your lunchbox. Damn, you'd have to finish that later. After swallowing it, you placed the lid back on, and put it in your bag.
You were just thankful that Yamaguchi didn't throw the paper with your number on it back in your face. Well, he was too polite to do something like that, but he still accepted it, no questions asked. You weren't really sure whether you were expecting that or not, but you had no complaints about it either way.
Then you remembered that is was Tsukishima who suggested you do that. Who knew he'd be one to give dating advice? You'd have to thank him for it later...
Taking a swift peek at the little heart on the knuckle under your pinky finger, you noticed it was pink. You'd been so engaged in bonding with your soulmate, you'd failed to look at yours for even a second. But then again, you didn't look at his either, although you were still sure as hell he was the one. But you weren't certain you were his, which you deeply hoped you were. So, if you did happen to be his soulmate, that meant he was thinking about you! Well, you were just going off of what Tsukishima had said about it yesterday...
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the two boys in conversation; Yamaguchi, flustered, red-faced, and shaking his head a hundred miles an hour, and Tsukishima, smirking deviously. It appeared as though he'd said something that embarrassed his friend, but that wasn't really anything out of the ordinary. You tried to sneak a glimpse at Yamaguchi's mark without being obvious, however you couldn't make anything out, as his hands were waving in front of him, presumably in self-defense. And you weren't going to lie to yourself...it was actually rather endearing...
Amidst of the chatter of the students, your teacher finally arrived to commence the first lesson of the afternoon. Not that you'd be 100% focused, what with visions of a certain young boy invading your mind...
The end of the day finally rolled round, and you actually had done some work, although you rather robotically copied questions on the board at the front of the class to help you answer questions, instead of doing it yourself. The bell rang and you were dismissed from class; sighing, you put your equipment away and stood up, upon seeing (F/N) scuttling towards you. But as she reached you, you couldn't help but notice that behind her, Yamaguchi had also started moving towards you.
Meekly smiling, he said to you: "Hey, er, (Y/N)? I-I have to go to volleyball practice now...but I'll talk to you later! O-okay?".
"Ah right, I see. Have fun!", you replied, secretly hoping that he'd actually send you a message sometime today. You internally squealed with both joy, excitement, and nerves at the thought.
"Mm, thanks!". And with that, he flitted off back to Tsukishima, who had his hands stuffed in his trouser pockets, frowning as per usual.
"C'mon Yamaguchi", he grumbled, "We'll be late to practice".
"Sorry Tsukki!".
And so, the two boys disappeared from the classroom, Yamaguchi seemingly chirpier than normal.
(F/N) turned to you. "Want me to walk you home?", she grinned.
Nodding, you thanked her, and linking arms, you set off.
-
Half an hour later, you finally reached your house. She gave you a brief hug, and you waved her goodbye as she headed off.
Stepping into your house, you locked the door behind you and whipped out your phone to check for notifications. Of which there were none, so you slipped it back into your pocket, before bombing upstairs to your room to throw your schoolbag down, and make some attempt to study. You felt like you'd barely done any work today, and if it weren't for your intrusive thoughts, your schoolbooks would be much fuller, to say the least.
Sighing, you trudged back downstairs, clutching your pile of workbooks and textbooks. You sat yourself down at the dining room table, where surprisingly, you managed to do about an hour of undisturbed studying. Which was a massive relief, because now you'd finally caught up with most of the things you were meant to have done during school today.
"Guess I'll have a break...", you muttered to yourself, hand aching slightly from all the writing you had done. You pulled out your phone to find a message from (F/N). Probably screaming or fangirling about something, or spouting her usual nonsense.
(F/N):
Has he text you yet???
By 'he', you presumed she meant Yamaguchi. Come on, who else could she have been referring to?! Well, he hadn't text you, not yet anyway. Had he forgotten? Nah, he wouldn't do something like that...Or maybe he was still at volleyball practice? You weren't sure when practice finished, so he could still be at school for all you knew.
Exhaling through your nose, you tapped out your response:
Me:
No not yet
You set your phone back down on the table and leaned back in your chair, staring at the spotless white ceiling of the dining room and thinking about nothing. Your eyelids sank a little and you interlocked your fingers on top of your stomach. Perhaps not even ten seconds after you put your phone down, another few messages came through:
(F/N):
Bummer
I'm so happy you spoke to him though
And honestly, you were too. While you were a shaky, sweating, mess when you came face to face with him, you were ultimately delighted and relieved that you had talked to him. Even though it was just one time, it was still a big thing for you. Well, it wasn't every day you spoke to a boy. A volleyball player! But, that wouldn't be the last time you two were to talk to each other...for today, at least...
Me:
Yeah, me too ^w^
You responded. But before you even had the chance to switch your phone screen off onto standby and put it down on the table, you received another text. Not from (F/N), but from an unknown number...
It was unexpected, so naturally it shocked you a bit. Your heart beat faster, just like it had done earlier today. Only this time, it was a surge of fear fueling your quickened pulse; who was this random person texting you all of a sudden?! You didn't really talk to many other people aside from (F/N) - well, you did talk to a couple of other people in your class at Karasuno, but that was only really once in a blue moon anyway. Plus, you actually had their contact details, therefore you'd know who was texting you.
You managed to catch a glimpse of the first part of the message before the notification disappeared. It didn't seem to look fishy, and it didn't look like something from a scammer, so it had to be safe, right? Squinting, you skimmed over all the words you could see in the message preview:
Unknown number:
Hello??? Is this (Y/N)? It's me, Ya...
This 'Ya' seemed friendly enough, judging by the non-hostile way they began the text. And they knew your name! So it must have been someone you knew...or someone who knew you. No harm in investigating further though, right? So, you opened the message to read it properly:
Unknown number:
Hello??? Is this (Y/N)? It's me, Yamaguchi Tadashi from Class 4!
Breathing a sigh of relief, you laughed at yourself for worrying about nothing. It was only Yamaguchi! So Tsukishima's advice turned out to be pretty useful after all...
Despite your relief, something was holding you back from replying instantly. What were you even supposed to say anyway? And why was coming up with a simple reply so damn difficult? Your thumbs idly hovered over your phone's keyboard, unsure of which letters to string together and in which order. It made you feel pretty pathetic, not even knowing how to say something like "Hi". For heaven's sake, you spoke to him FACE-TO-FACE today!
The reminder of that moment was almost enough to make you stop being nervous.
Wait, who ever said anything about you being nervous?
But it was true; you weren't confident anymore. Even though you felt less scared after joining him at lunch, you were anxious about doing it again. But at least Yamaguchi wasn't able to see that, right?
Biting your lip, you typed something. Whether it was ok to send or not, you'd have to wait and see:
Me:
Yes, it's (Y/N). Hello Yamaguchi :)
Unbeknownst to you, you'd been holding your breath, and you hadn't even realised until a giant gust of oxygen came out of your mouth. Now all you had to do was send the message. You could've sworn your soul was leaving your body as your mentally prepared yourself.
'Come on...', you muttered in your head, 'Get it over and done with...'.
And you did. Your thumb hastily pressed the 'send' button, and it was over in seconds. Just like ripping a plaster off.
Your brain became foggy and you couldn't will yourself to pay attention to anything around you. You actually did it! So maybe, it would get easier from here on out? What's the worst that could happen? Come to think of it, you did trust yourself to not say the wrong thing. Besides, you had time to think about what you were saying over a phone screen. It'd be no trouble, surely...
Thankfully, your focus returned after a moment or two. And, on top of that, there was a second message from Yamaguchi:
Unknown number:
Oh, hello (Y/N)! (^▽^) How are you?
Ah, so Yamaguchi was one of those people who liked to use emoticons and kaomojis? You weren't going to deny that it was rather endearing. Plus, to you, he did seem like the kind of person to use them. It sort of made you feel...fuzzy, and warm. You smiled to yourself whilst you came up with, and typed a response to his question:
Me:
I'm good thank you ^^ How are you?
That seemed sufficient, yet decent, so you sent it with less hesitation than last time. Quite satisfied, you leaned back in your chair, until you suddenly remembered that you hadn't saved Yamaguchi's number. Assuming that it genuinely was Yamaguchi you were talking to. Although, you had nearly no doubt that it was him, as he seemed to text in a similar way to how he spoke in person. So, you quickly saved his number in your contacts, gave the contact a name, and switched the screen off.
Barely three seconds after you put your phone down, it pinged with yet another message from Yamaguchi. Man, that guy was a speedy replier! Then, it pinged again, this time with one from (F/N). You chose to look at (F/N)'s first:
(F/N):
Well, it went really smooth! You did good ;)
Lord knows what that winky face was for. Then again, this was (F/N). Nevertheless, you still took this as the perfect opportunity to tell her that Yamaguchi had begun texting you:
Me:
Thanks!
Oh yeah, I feel like I should tell you, Yamaguchi and I are texting now, haha
It wasn't exactly big news, but she was your best friend, and you did want to share it with her. You figured that she'd do the same with you, because you rarely kept stuff from each other. After sending her your reply, you opened Yamaguchi's message:
Yamaguchi:
That's good to hear! I'm good thanks (≧ω≦)
You briefly smiled at seeing yet another emoticon. To be fair, they actually were pretty cute. You found that conjuring up replies was getting easier now, which seemed like it would help in the long run.
Me:
That's great | (• ◡•)|
You did worry for a split second that sending Yamaguchi an emoticon back would come across as mocking. But there was almost no way he would see it like that, would he? Evidently not, as his next reply came within thirty seconds after you sent yours.
Yamaguchi:
Ah, I'm so sorry for not texting sooner, I was at volleyball practice
So your guess was correct after all.
Me:
No need for you to apologise, Yamaguchi. How was practice?
What must it feel like to watch a volleyball game? What must it feel like to play in a volleyball game? Only Yamaguchi could know the answer to those questions, but maybe one day you could find out for yourself. After he told you more about the sport, you became more curious about it. It couldn't have been a bad thing though; wasn't it normal to start being interested in the same things as your-
No.
Not that.
Curse your mind for wandering in that direction.
Another ping sounded after what seemed like several hours, but really, it was only several seconds. Half expecting it to be Fast-Replier-Yamaguchi, you discovered it was actually your best friend:
(F/N):
Asdfghjkl fuck yas! Lemme know how it goes!
I'm crying tears of joy omggg
You were immensely grateful for her and how supportive she was. In her own crazy way, of course.
Me:
Thank you <3
I will
Before now, you hadn't even realised that the sun was setting already. Well, it was the middle of October - autumn had arrived nearly a month ago, and winter was soon to come. Peeling your eyes from your phone, you looked through the large window in the dining room, to your right. The sun dyed the horizon a rich shade of orange, which gradually faded into a light blue as it reached the zenith. If you looked closely, you could see tiny stars dotted around the sky. It wasn't uncommon for the stars to come out relatively early when the seasons were getting colder. And they truly were magnificent. They weren't as clear as the stars you could see at night, but the evening stars still held their own beauty.
Ping.
You blinked. It was Yamaguchi again. Pursing your lips, you opened the message:
Yamaguchi:
It was great, thank you for asking! It would've been so nice if you came along too! ( ﾟヮﾟ)
Over and over again, you read the second sentence of the text.
'It would have been so nice if you came along too!'.
He actually wanted you to watch him play volleyball? He actually wanted to see you again? You weren't sure if he was only saying that just to be kind or whether he genuinely meant it, but either way, your stomach did a mini backflip upon reading it. All you felt capable of replying with was 'You're welcome', so you hurriedly typed it out, along with a smiley face at the end, so as to not come across as blunt. The very second it was sent, you shut your phone screen off, set it down, and just thought.
Why is that boy so sweet?
But more importantly, why did you like it so much?
Well, it's pretty normal to like people like him; good-natured people are generally likeable. But for you, it wasn't just liking him in a friendly way:
First of all, whenever you saw him, your face, or possibly even your entire body, felt like it was burning at a thousand degrees, the heat permeating through every vein, nerve, and cell inside you.
Then there was your heartbeat that skyrocketed like crazy when he was nearby.
And then there was your stomach that knotted and twisted when the two of you talked.
Not to mention that warm and fuzzy feeling his smile left you with.
In fact, nearly everything about him made you feel something.
Your eyes widened. You tensed up. Your breathing became deeper and heavier.
'Shit', you thought to yourself, in a panic. 'Shit, shit, shit'.
How had it taken you so long to realise? Why had you been in denial when it was so blatantly obvious? Were you really that stupid? Were you really that embarrassed?
Embarrassed about what?
The fact that (F/N) was right all along.
Yamaguchi Tadashi wasn't just your soulmate anymore.
Yamaguchi Tadashi was now both your soulmate and the subject of your romantic feelings.
Yes, you had a crush on Yamaguchi Tadashi.
(A/N - First of all I'd like to apologise for my horrible lack of updating; I've been dealing with some personal problems for several months which have gotten in the way of writing this chapter. I've also had quite a lot of college work and university prepping to do; I'm currently doing my final major project for my art course in college which I need to pass in order to get into university.
On a slightly more positive note, thank you all for being so patient. The next chapter is unlikely to take 10 months to finish like this one did. That being said, it still may be long in length (I just have a lot to fit into one chapter I'm sorry-). I hope you understand!
Thank you for reading 😊)