This was fun to write. Enjoy. hehe
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**| Sang's POV |**
The next few days went by quickly and while Silas stayed with me for the most part and Sean stopped by to check on me, they gave me the space I needed. Desperately. Just the fact that each time Sean came over to check on me, I grew angry and aggressive was proof enough that I wasn't ready to meet anyone or be around anyone else.
Silas became my rock, a steady presence reminding me that I wasn't alone. That despite my family and the last two years, someone did care.
I kept forgetting that.
But Silas stayed patient, never losing to his emotions. I could see he suffered too. Four months was a long time to be captured and used like he was. Four months was a long time to be subjected to humiliation, pain, and death. The guilt gnawed at me because he should be at the pack house with the rest of his pack. The Blackbourne Pack. His family. He needed them just as much as they needed him. Being around them helped. I noticed. When he went to visit them and came back, he was better, healing. And I was the one slowing down his recovery.
But he was stuck playing babysitter with me—even when I told him to move back into the pack house. He would just shake his head and walk out of the room, telling me I wasn't getting rid of him that easily.
I was being selfish. I knew it. And I hated myself for it. But I couldn't force him to leave, I didn't want to. I wouldn't admit it out loud, but I needed him, and he knew that. I also suspected he needed me a little bit too because I understood all too well.
We were both survivors.
The nights were long, both of us plagued with nightmares. The days were okay, the light making everything dreamlike, as if what we were put through could never have happened. But then I looked at my body, or at the wariness in Silas, and I knew we were only fooling ourselves.
We were both a mess.
We did grow stronger, our bodies healing. Sean did well flushing the silver out of our system, making us stronger. But we were still too weak, the wounds still taking their time healing while our wolves spiritually healed themselves too.
Currently, I stood in the kitchen, staring into the back yard. I heard Silas moving around. Despite it being late at night, neither of us slept. We didn't sleep as much as we should. Sleeping meant being vulnerable. And when we did cave in, all we got were nightmares.
"What are you thinking?" Silas asked, his Greek accent sending tendrils of comfort through my body. I was beginning to rely on his voice to draw me back to reality.
Silas moved to stand next to me, a dark shadow in the dark of the night. The lights in the cabin were all off, giving us a nice view of the backyard lit up by the stars and the moon. After two years in captivity, I couldn't get enough of the stars.
"What's it like?" I asked him, still not looking at him.
I felt his gaze on me. "What do you mean?"
"To have pack, what's it like?"
He went silent for a few long moments before clearing his throat. "Safe," he said. "You've never met a pack before? I know you mentioned growing up with humans."
"My dad's a shifter, my biological mother too. But she died in childbirth," I whispered. "Then my dad married another woman, one he already had a kid with. We were the only two shifters in that family. The only reason I'm aware of who I am is because he told me the first time I shifted. I did meet other shifters, living in Charleston, it's hard not too, but they never introduced me to a pack if they were in one."
And when my interest in who I was increased, my stepmother changed. She became meaner, seeing me only as an animal, leaving me locked up for long stretches of time. The only time I had freedom was when my father was around. She didn't want him to know about the things she did to me. But I expected he knew.
He did sell me off after all. I became an inconvenience he needed to throw away.
"You should have grown up with shifters," Silas said.
"Maybe."
"No maybe, Sang. The moment you shifted and they knew for sure you were a shifter, they should have found a community for you, a pack to help you, to teach you."
"I can't miss something I never had, Silas. I don't know what being a part of a pack means, I don't know what it's supposed to feel like." I lowered my voice even lower, knowing his sensitive ears would pick it up. "I don't know anything."
He reached over and ran his thumb along my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned closer to him, loving the contact.
"This is what a pack means. This comfort. This safety. This freedom. They are a support system, family who'll never leave you, who'll always have your back."
I pulled away from his touch despite the desperate need in me to feel his kindness. I'd been craving it more and more lately.
"And who'll always find you if your lost." My words came out thick and I smiled at him. I cleared my throat. "I'm glad you're back with your pack. I really am." My heart ached. "I'll need to leave soon."
"Why?"
I looked over at him, noticing his confusion.
"Why do you need to leave?" he asked.
"I don't belong here," I said.
He shook his head. "Not true. We want you here."
"I don't belong here. I don't understand anything and I'll only cause problems. I don't want to be a bother."
"Sang," Silas growled, his eyes darkening with his anger. "Have we ever said you were a bother?"
"No."
"Then you aren't. You're right where you belong right now. We want to help you so just stay here and accept it. If you left, Sean will hunt you down and drag you back. You don't need to leave. We gave you this cabin to do as you want with it. And I want you to stay. Please?"
I pressed my lips together and nodded.
"Good, now get some rest. If we don't get better soon, North will start making what he claims are miracle smoothies that will jump start our healing abilities." Silas faked a shiver. "His drinks have the power to raise the dead from their graves."
I smiled at that.
"Goodnight," I said.
"Goodnight."
I went upstairs and into the master bedroom, lying down on the bed to stare at the ceiling. I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.
So instead, I climbed through the window, jumping to the ground easily. I winced from my injuries but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I stripped down but then paused, turning my head as I scented the air.
"Yeah," Silas said, stepping out of the shadows, his clothes clutched in his hands. "I couldn't fall asleep either."
Silas was a sinfully handsome devil without clothes. He was all hard lines and muscles. I could tell he was one of the enforcers in his pack, and from fighting with him at my side, I knew he had the ability to fight effectively but viciously. He always had my back and tonight would be no different as we ran.
I smiled and nodded as I imagined myself on four paws. Seconds later, I lowered to the ground, my senses going into over drive. I stretched out my body, noticing the small changes. I felt stronger now. My senses were on hyper drive. My instincts were ready to take over.
I let out a howl, one of victory. The silver was nearly gone from my system now, if not completely. I'd have to let Sean check my blood to verify it but I haven't felt this good in forever. Actually, I'd never felt this good.
I turned my head to stare at Silas.
His wolf still impressed me. His fur blended perfectly with a mixture of white and black. His muzzle and face were white with a spot of black on top of his nose. Then the fur went black as it reached up to his ears, staying that color as it continued on down his back with spots of white here and there. His chest and front legs were white and grey, his back legs and his butt grey with white spots. His watchful amber eyes focused on me as he shifted closer.
His massive frame was easily twice the size of mine, over eight feet long and when he stood, his height would be around the same height as my human form. And if he every jumped on me, his weight would crush me.
He let out his own howl, one of hope and freedom. The sound reached down into my soul and demanded a reply. I lifted my head up and howled, our sounds intertwining into a melody, a war cry of survivors. We had our freedom again and we weren't going to lose it.
He took off and I followed close behind. He led us away from the direction of the pack house. Our first run together, he had made the mistake of bringing us close to the pack house and my wolf didn't like it, growing agitated as we smelled the other wolves. After that, we stayed away and when the other wolves went for their runs, they avoided the area I'd been using to run.
Silas assured me they still had all the space they needed to go hunting. Apparently their pack lands were massive.
We didn't hunt tonight, we just ran, the only sound being our heavy breaths, our paws against the ground, and the night life around us. We didn't stop until we reached a stream, one of my favorite spots to stretch out and relax. I went over to the cool water, lapping it up before settling down, staring into the reflective water.
Silas brushed up against me before taking his fill and settling down close by.
My eyes slowly closed as I began dozing off but then a sound had me on alert. It was just a rustle but one that didn't belong.
I jumped up and turned to the sound, a growl letting loose as I tried to find the source of the sound. The light breeze was downwind so I couldn't get a scent, which only put me on higher alert.
Silas bumped into me, standing next to me, asking me what was wrong but my wolf was still too closed off to open herself up to the mind link wolves used to communicate to each other and I wasn't part of his pack. I had no connection to Silas.
Another rustle and I growled in warning. This time Silas stiffened. A moment later a wolf stepped out into the open. He was almost as impressive as Silas, about the same size, but noticeably smaller. On top, starting around his eyes, going up around his ears and down his back all the way to his tail was a reddish brown coat of fur, more on the redder side. Underneath, from his muzzle down underneath is neck and underbelly was a blond-white color. The scent of leather and cyprus reached my nose.
The same scent that had been at the cabin the first day. One of the wolves in Silas's pack.
He stepped closer but I growled, lowering myself to the ground, ready to attack if he came closer.
Silas bumped into me but I ignored him. I didn't know this wolf. I never met him. He tried coming closer but Silas let out his own warning, making the wolf pause. His deep blue eyes tracked me as I moved so I stood in front of Silas, all my instincts screaming.
We didn't know him
Danger.
Protect.
Fight.
Win.
I shook my head. I didn't need those thoughts. Did I? We were out. Weren't we? This wasn't a fight to the death. Was it?
The two wolves, Silas and the new one, stayed absolutely still and the tension thickened. My muscles coiled tight, ready to pounce at the smallest movement. I glared at the new wolf, wanting him gone.
He shouldn't be here.
He's encroaching.
And he thought he was a dominant wolf because next thing I knew, we were in a battle of wills.
I stared at him, my lips lifting into a snarl.
He stared back, unwilling to back down.
A battle of wills. Victor was stronger. Better.
Dominant.
I could feel him pushing back against me, demanding me to submit.
I. Would. Not. Submit.
For anyone.
Both of us refused to back down, to submit. Neither of us were willing to lower ourselves to the other as our instincts became stronger.
If neither of us were willing to lower ourselves to the other, there was only one other option.
He snarled and I snarled back as I moved, running and ready to take make this battle of wills physical.
Silas's wolf called out to me but I wasn't backing down.
Not for anyone.
I smashed into this new wolf as he snapped at me. I snapped back, digging my claws into his back. He bucked me off before jumping for my throat. I jumped out of the way, using my small frame and extra speed to avoid him.
We circled each other and I could feel Silas trying to find an opening to jump in too, but I couldn't determine if it were to stop us, to help this new wolf, or to help me. My thoughts were a jumble as I warred with myself and with this wolf.
All I knew was one thing.
I wasn't submitting.
And by the looks of it. He wasn't either.
I charged, jumping onto his back. He let out a growl as my claws dug into his back. I used my weight and the momentum of the jump to push him to the ground. He rolled us, forcing me to let him go and then he went for my leg, his mouth wrapping around my back leg.
I held back a whimper as his teeth dug in and I used my other leg to kick him away from me. We separated and I forced myself not to limp.
I knew pain.
This was nothing.
Howls echoed into the night and my instincts went on the fritz. More were coming.
Survive.
Fight.
I snarled in fury and charged again. Had to win before the others came, before they forced me into submission.
Never again.
Never.
I dug my teeth into the back of his neck, shaking my head furiously but my grip wasn't strong enough and he bucked me off. I got back to my feet, my belly low as I growled viciously, ready to pounce again.
Then someone tackled me from the side. Hard. I flew into a tree and yelped as I smashed into it. I got back to my legs to see Silas growling at me.
He joined the fight.
But on the new wolf's side.
Something in me broke and my sight became a red haze. I growled and know longer cared. I attacked. I ran, pretending to go for the red wolf but when Silas tried to intercept like I expected, I quickly switched my attack to him, taking him unaware as I smashed into him, getting in a bite to his hind leg. But then the red wolf stepped in, tackling me. We rolled and I pushed away all the pain I felt, both emotional and physical.
Silas always had my back, but it seemed to not matter anymore. He was with his pack. He had their backs now.
I growled out my pain as I separated from the red wolf and my side burned as I tried to draw in breath.
The red wolf growled at me and Silas returned it to the red wolf, who ignored him as he charged at me. My body wouldn't move right and I couldn't avoid him as he smashed into me.
We went down and I hit something hard. My vision grew black and I let out a whimper.
I would not submit.
My body moved and then I hit something again, falling into darkness.
Just falling.