"Like I said, what are you doing here, Connor?" I ask once we're alone. I sink back against my headboard as he pulls my desk chair over and sits on it backwards, leaning his elbows on the back of it.
He rolls his eyes but there's a hint of mischievousness. "I just wanted to see if you were okay."
Before recently, that sentence would have made my stomach do flips. Now all I want to do is puke. After all he's done to me - all he's done to that girl - how can he act so righteous?
Without thinking about it, I pull the comforter closer to my chin. He must notice because he rests his hand on the she of my bed, about a foot away from my leg.
"I'm not going to bite you," Connor says slyly as he tries too hard to hide his smirk.
"No, but you might hit me, or worse-" My breath catches in my throats before I finish that last sentence. I'm suddenly aware of the blood in my veins.
His smirk falls, but his eyes stay on me. "Not sure what you're talking about, but I didn't come here to discuss any of that stuff."
Only one emotion courses through my headed: anger.
I'm not going to be a scared little girl.
"Why not? You came to see if these other bruises covered up the one you gave me?" I distinctly point at my cheek and can feel my tender cheek. It must almost be gone if no other one is there from the accident.
Connor chuckles. "How could anyone know that didn't come from the accident? Except maybe your little boyfriend who just got back from military school and probably has a record." In other words, whose word would anyone believe? The kid with the record or the kid who is spotless - for now.
"Because some people pay attention, Connor," I tell him. I try my hardest to push back the fear of letting him be right.
"Oh!" He says sarcastically and a little too loudly. "I forgot that you had to have all the attention, Jessa. Sorry."
"Excuse me?" I ask him.
"Don't deny it," he says. "You love the attention. You love being able to get anyone's attention, bad or good."
I shake my head as if it matters. "You need to get out." I can feel a lump forming in my throat and push it back down.
"Why?" He stands up from the chair and walks closer to me. "Because I just said the truth?"
"Did you just come here to let me know that I'm imperfect? I already knew that, Conner." I feel my blood rising. "I know more about you, about what you did. You aren't worth wasting my breath on."
His face falls and I see the normal face of anger beginning to form. He nears me even more but I don't move this time.
This time I'm ready.
"You don't know anything," he seethes. "And if anyone else knows anything, you better let them know that I will go to the ends of this earth to make sure they keep their mouths shut. Including you."
I'm frozen in shock as I examine his features. Pure anger, pure hatred. It's all there. And I'm scared for my life for the first time.
"What are you doing here, Conner?" A familiar voice says from my bedroom doorway. Will is standing there with two coffees in his hands, a look of calmness cast over his features. He just walked up, meaning he hasn't heard the conversation.
Will slowly makes his way into the room and gently sets the coffees down. Conner backs away a little, watching Will. But there's still a smile on Conner's face.
"Just checking up on my girl." Connor shoves his hands in his pockets as he moves toward the door - toward Will.
"You should leave," Will says quietly. He doesn't break eye contact with Connor.
"Sure, sure," Connor replied. "Wouldn't want to interrupt this little affair."
Will finally looks away, towards me, then tightens his fists at his sides. He releases them and stares back at a smirking Connor as he leaves my room.
Will goes to my door and watches Connor leave the house completely, then looks out my window to see Connor leave in his car.
He turns back to me, a sight I'm sure is embarrassing. I can feel tears in my eyes but I don't know if they're falling yet.
Why do I feel so violated just being in the same room as him?
Will is by my side before I can come back to earth. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.
"You have to tell your parents, Jessa. Otherwise he'll always find a way to get in here. And I can't let that happen." I feel him taking a deep breath. "So, either you tell them or... or I will."
I lean away from him and stare at my bed. I look up at him and shake my head.
"What if he does something? What if he hurts me? Or worse, what if he hurts you?" This time the tears are falling and my voice is cracking, but it is not broken. "No doubt he's got the whole school on his side. Who knows what he's told them. They don't know the truth about him, Will."
Will's face contorts into something of fear and disgust. "I already told you, I won't ever let anything happen to you, Jessa. And who cares what they think? They can figure it out for themselves. Besides, God knows. He knows all of it, and that's what really matters."
I nod my head and lean into him. I want to say something, anything, but I can't. I want to feel strong and willing, not sad and helpless. But what can help me to justify that?
I push away from Will gently and wipe my face dry. I take a deep breath to clear my lungs and my head.
Then I turn and kiss Will harder than I've ever kissed anyone.
In a whisper, I say, "Don't you ever leave me again."
He grabs my arms and pulls me closer, resting his forehead against mine. "Never."
We lean back against my headboard and he hands me my coffee, which I thank him for with a kiss. I turn on Footloose and prepare myself for the love story of Ariel and her own saving grace, Ren.
There's a knock on my door and I look over to see Hannah standing there, a smile on her face as she leans against my door frame.
"I've never been so happy to see you two in the same bed together," she jokes and we all laugh at that. She climbs onto the bed and lies down between Will and me on her stomach with her head propped on her hands. "You guys weren't, like... you know..."
I feel my face heat up immediately - as if it wasn't puffy enough - as I deny it. "No - no! We didn't... we haven't!"
Will tilts his head to the side as he lets out a crazy laugh. Hannah laughs along with him as I sit there and try not to look like an idiot.
"What brings you here, Hannah?" Will asks after he regains his composure.
"Well, I figured what better reason to skip school for the first time than to come see my injured best friend?" She says casually, but I can tell she's anxious about skipping. She adjusts the glasses on her face and looks at me harder. "Have you been crying? I mean, I did pass Connor on my way here..."
"About that..." Will whispers so that only I can hear it.
Hannah suddenly becomes apologetic. "I know we haven't talked in a while, but if something happened, you would tell me, right? Was it bad? Because there's a reason Will is here and Connor's not... right?"
I bite down onto my lip and search for Will's hand under the blanket. I find it and lace my fingers through his, giving his hand a squeeze for good measure.
This is my start to a brave new me.
"There's something I need to tell you, Hannah."
*
"THAT DIRTBAG," Hannah exclaims. She been pacing the floor for at least five minutes thinking of mean things to call Connor that don't have cuss words involved.
Who knew there were so many alternatives.
I've never seen Hannah this angry before. She once came close when Tyler took one of her books when we were younger and tried to burn it. She tackled him and he broke his arm. She's never forgiven herself for that, though we always laugh about it.
"You've got to understand that this is Connor we're talking about," Will tells her as he sits on the edge of my bed. I still haven't moved from my spot.
"Oh, trust me, I know," Hannah says exasperatedly. "I've known he was a piece of crap for a long time - sorry, Jess - but this? I could strangle him! What did your dad say, Jessa?"
I quickly look away and pretend like I didn't hear her. She puts her hands on her hips and looks pointedly at Will.
"She hasn't told him yet. She actually hasn't told anyone. I wouldn't have known if I wouldn't have found her." The way Will says this makes me feel unbearably guilty inside.
Hannah looks at me again with softer eyes this time. I notice how watery they're suddenly getting and my eyes widen. She climbs onto my bed and crawls over to me. I wrap my arms around her neck and pull her into a hug as I rest my head on the top of hers.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you," she tells me.
I shake my head vigorously. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."
"Okay, now I feel like I'm the third wheeler instead of Hannah," Will says jokingly in attempt to lighten the mood.
I use my good foot to push Will off the bed and listen to him land with a thud. Hannah and I laugh loudly.
"That's because you are the third wheel," I tell him with a giggle as I hug Hannah tighter. Hannah starts to laugh and I find myself giggling along with her, and then Will joins in.
I've never felt so blessed to have these people in my life. I can only pray that they feel the same.
A few minutes and an exhausting piggy back ride later, we're sitting in my kitchen eating the cold pancakes my mom left me.
"So," Hannah says after she swallows a bite. "I want to show you guys something. Both of you."
Will and I look at each other for a second. "What is it?" I ask her.
"I want to show you what I've been up to for the last year and a half." When she says this, my mouth almost falls open. A year and a half? How could I not realize she was up to something for that long? She's practically my sister.
"...should we be scared?" Will asks skeptically as he leans onto his elbows on the counter.
Hannah just smiles as blush creeps up her neck. Embarrassment. What could this be?
"I guess you'll find out tonight at seven. I'll come get you guys here." She gives me a bashful smile. "Actually we might have to leave at six, just because. Okay?"
I watch her move anxiously around the kitchen with my eyes narrowed. "Okay, we'll be ready. Right, Will?"
Will nods his head. "Sure."
Hannah just smiles at the two of us before grabbing her things and waving goodbye, then leaving the house.
What's she up to?
______
What do you think it is?! Let me know!
Also, what do you think is going to go down with Connor?
Hope you enjoyed the chapter!!
The picture is of Shanley Caswell who plays Hannah! Did you like the sassy side of Hannah you saw in this chapter?
Fun fact: there were 2017 words in this chapter (until I wrote this fun fact)