Confession #8
He's finally come around...but is it too late?
He held my hand and walked with me down the halls, as if he was showing off a prized possession. I had never been acknowledged like this before and I absolutely couldn’t get enough. When we passed Andrea in the hall, she practically needed her drones to pick her jaw off of the floor. We could hear the whispers, the good and the bad, but it didn’t matter what they said. He walked me to my locker then left me so he could head to his, which was pretty far from mine.
I put away the books that I didn’t need yet then closed my locker. Alex stood there, startling me. He looked agitated and hurt.
“So you’re with that dipshit now?” He questioned.
I nodded.
“Good luck with that, don’t call me when he breaks your heart.” He spat.
“Why would I call you…you already broke it.” I replied. I didn’t listen to anything else he had to say. I turned and walked away, trying to keep my composure.
I paid him no attention the entire class period; I ignored all his efforts to get me to talk to him…at least I did till we got paired up for a project that counted for thirty-five percent of our final grade.
“So are you going to talk to me now?” He asked.
I kept writing, “Not till I have to.” I replied coldly.
He huffed and pulled mychair to face him.
“What?” I asked. I wondered what he was up to.
“What did you mean when you said that I already broke your heart?” He asked.
“Exactly what I said.” I said, as I scooted my chair back to its original spot.
“But to break your heart, you’d have to like me.” He said cluelessly.
I shook my head and continued to work. How could he not know, that kiss wasn’t very subtle at all. I was thankful that the bell sounded soon after that.
I headed to the cafeteria for lunch, hoping it would be uneventful. I got in the lunch line and wasn’t surprised as to who stood behind me, Hanna. We always ate lunch together, but not anymore. She made a fool of my feelings and an apology was simply not enough.
“So are we ever going to speak again?” She asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and moved forward in the line.
She grabbed my arm to make me face her. “Katya!”
“What? Oh now you want to talk to me now that girlfriend isn’t here?” I questioned.
“Katya, it’s not like that. We were just having fun!” She said.
“So am I…” And with that said, I paid for my food and sat down at an empty table. I could feel stares on me, I could hear the whispers but what could I do, this was high school and everyone is always looking for something to gossip about. There was only one thing to do…give em a smile.
I started to eat my chicken sandwich then I felt a kiss against my cheek. I looked over to my new boyfriend and gave him a smile. He set his food down beside mine and took a seat.
“Did I surprise you?” He asked.
“This whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing surprised me.” I chuckled.
“Well you better get used to this boyfriend/girlfriend thing because I plan on keeping you for a while.” He joked.
He was slowly bringing me out of this boring shell that was called my life. It was easy to open up to him and there was no pressure. The next couple weeks were filled with exciting dates and interesting conversation. He was proving to me that he wasn’t only interested in what I could offer physically, but he actually took an interest in things that I liked. He took me to a concert that starred one of my favorite bands, we went on a picnic in the park and he brought takeout from my favorite Chinese restaurant.
Hanna and Alex still weren’t part of my life. Hanna would come by but I wouldn’t answer the door, Alex would call and I’d stay silent. They both had rejected me in some sort of way…now it’s their turn.
There was something big that was coming up, prom night. It was only two weeks away and I had already found my perfect dress. Holden didn’t ask me yet but we were going out so it was only a matter of time. It was the weekend and I had scheduled to just stay in since Holden had a family reunion to go to.
I cleaned my house then put lasagna in the oven to cook. Since it would be in there for a while, I decided to take a shower. When I cut the water off, I could hear the doorbell ringing. I wrapped my towel around myself and ran to the door.
“Alex?” I asked as I opened the door.
“We have to talk.” He said.
I let him in and led him into the living room.
“Can it wait till I’m dressed?” I asked, pointing to my half-dressed state.
“No, I have waited long enough, just sit Katya.”
He ran his hands through his curls, a move I knew from experience would lead to some kind of awkward conversation.
“You remember that party, and how we woke up together in bed?” He asked.
“Yeah.”
“Do you remember what happened before you passed out?”
I shook my head no.
“I undressed you to get that wet dress off you then you kissed me. We made out then we almost…you know.” He explained.
I tried to remember something but all my memories are hazy from that night. I couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“So why didn’t we?” I asked.
He took my hand and looked me in my eye. “Because I didn’t want your first time to be when you were drunk.”
“How do you know it would be my first time?” I questioned him.
“Because you’re a good girl, Katya” He said.
“I may not be as good as you think…” I said.
At that moment, I decided to put aside any ill feelings I had for him so I could make way for what I was going to do next. I climbed onto his lap, straddling him. His eyes were wide with surprise, heck mine were too. I didn’t know what I was doing; all I knew was that I wanted him.
He didn’t stop me when I pressed my lips against his; in fact, he was quite generous in returning my affection. He returned my kiss then took it further by taking the lead. He began to run his hand up my thigh, under my towel. When he reached my core, I gasped in pleasure.
“Oh Alex…” I moaned, as he trailed kisses down my neck till he took my breast into his mouth. I started to grind against the hand that massaged my core. He grabbed my towel and snatched it away.
The coolness of the room against my skin, made my nipples hard to the touch. He sucked on them till he had me moaning then he began to tickle them with the tip of his tongue, teasing me at full capacity.
He moaned against my chest, “I love you, Katya.”
I thought I heard an ‘I love you’ but I must have been dreaming it.
I wanted to continue but there was something weighing on me, the thought of my boyfriend. I stopped what I was doing, hopped off his lap and picked up my towel from the floor.
“I’m sorry…I can’t do this.” I said, rewrapping the towel around myself.
I thought that would give him the signal to leave…but it didn’t. He slowly stood up from my couch and walked towards me. I tried to back up from him but was soon met with a wall against my back.
“I should have done this a long time ago…” He said.
“What?” I asked him.
“Make you mine.” He said. He leaned down and began a passionate kiss and I wanted it…so bad but what about Holden, and why did he wait till I began a relationship to admit anything.
I gently pushed him back. “I’m sorry but you had your chance, I’m with Holden now.”
He kissed my cheek, and then whispered in my ear “It’s not over; I’ll have you to myself…soon.”
He left after that and I almost believed his words, he was serious.
The part of me that was Holden’s girlfriend was anxious and hoped that he wouldn’t pursue this any further… The other part of me couldn’t wait to see what he would do.
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