December 1954
Bobby watched, grief-stricken, as the priest gave his brother the last rites.
It wasn't the first time that Jack had been on his deathbed, but Bobby was especially frightened. All he could think of was:
This can't be happening. I'm going to close my eyes and wake up from this. It's just a nightmare. I'm not really watching this.
He had his arm around Jackie, who was wiping at her eyes with a handkerchief. "This isn't the end." said Bobby, making his best attempt to comfort her, "He's not dead, not yet, and Jack's a fighter, he won't give up."
Jackie nodded, somewhat solemnly, and Bobby felt an overwhelming sense of combined grief and pity overflow his heart. Jackie was far to young to be a widow, they were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together, not five measly months.
The priest finished administering that last rites, and turned to Bobby and his family, "That's all I can do, now it's all up to God." He left without another word of comfort or solace.
Rose and Joe stood in the corner, and Joe felt almost depleted of all energy. He couldn't lose another son, another dream. He was so tired of the heartbreak that Kick and Joe Jr.'s deaths had brought. He just wanted his family to be happy.
Suddenly, the room began to close in. Joe felt out of breath, like he had just been whacked in the stomach with a baseball bat. He began to struggle to breath, it was a panic attack.
Joe left the room hurriedly, and Rose followed him out at a fast pace. She found her husband leaning against the wall, catching his breath. "Joe, please. You have to be strong, for the children."
"We're cursed." said Joe, who, in the midst of his panic attack, has somehow been hit by an over-whelming sense of clarity.
"What?" implored Rose, who was sure that she had misheard her husband.
"This family," said Joe, his voice bitter and shrewd, "is cursed. We will never be happy."
"Joe, please!" said Rose, tears brimming in her eyes, "Nobody needs this now."
Joe turned to his wife, tears flooding down his face, "We will never be happy! And it's all my fault! I've cursed us!"
Rose left and returned to Jack's bedside, intent on keeping herself away from her husband's vicious words, but Joe remained outside, steadying his breathing, with one sole thought running through his head.
My family is destined to never be happy again.
1955
Jack walked into the doorway, exhausted. His near fatal brush with death had turned him off of any further spinal surgery, which has its setbacks.
He made his way to the dining room, where he found Jack standing by a candlelit table, a smile on her face, and a beautiful meal laid out.
"Oh, Jackie." Jack was thankful, he really was. He knew that most men like him came home to an unforgiving and hot-tempered wife. But not him.
"I thought it would be nice to spend a romantic evening at home." Jackie made her way across the room to Jack, and put her hands on his chest, "You've been working so much lately. I want to reward you."
Jack sighed, "I'd want nothing more than to spend a romantic evening with you, but I'm exhausted and I think it would be best if I just got some rest."
Jackie's face fell and she took her hands off Jack's chest. She went over to the table to start clearing things up, and Jack turned to leave the room.
"I'm sorry I miscarried the baby." It came so unexpectedly, it Jack stop in his tracks and turn around to see Jackie with a guilty look on her face.
"Oh sweetie that wasn't your fault, and I'm not mad at you for that." said Jack, feeling terrible about himself, and his marriage.
"Then why have you been so distant?" Jackie finally snapped, "We haven't had a big fight, and we've barely been married a year. It shouldn't be this difficult so early on!"
"I'm sorry if you're unhappy!" yelled Jack, "I'm sorry that I'm insecure, and that I'm not a family man. I'm trying here!"
"I know, I know." Jackie's tone smoothened and she tried to approach Jack, who stepped away. "I need to see Bobby." said Jack as he pulled away and left the room, leaving Jackie alone for the hundredth time since their wedding day.
Bobby sat across from Jack, who was sipping a scotch in Bobby's living room. The house was small, at least to Bobby, Ethel, and their four children.
"So how are you?" asked Bobby, who was sipping a glass of water.
"Not good, Bobby." Jack replied, and a long silence ensued. Finally, Jack spoke again, "I've cheated, Bobby."
Bobby looked at his brother, shocked, "No, you didn't."
"Bobby, please." Jack pleaded, trying to make his brother see sense.
"You're not that kind of man. You don't cheat. You promised." said Bobby, a thousand different emotions running through him.
"You don't understand, Bobby. You're a natural at this. I mean, you and Ethel have been married for five years and you have four great kids. You're an amazing dad and husband. I'm not."
"You could at least try!" Bobby snapped, "How long did you even wait before cheating?!"
"After my surgery I was... depressed, and one thing led to another."
Bobby's face was red with fury, and he stood up and paced the room. He slowly digested every bit of information he had received in a matter of minutes and considered the best approach to it. It was what made him a great attorney. Finally, he came to the best possible approach.
"Does Jackie know?"
Jack rubbed his temples, and put his face in his hands, "Yes."
"Have you, talked about it?"
"No. She's like Mom, she knows but she brushes it aside. The worst part is that she thinks it's because of the miscarriage."
Bobby sighed, "Well, is it?"
"No! No! I would never be that petty, or selfish."
"I don't know if I can believe anything that comes out of your mouth anymore. Now get out, and learn how to be a man. Because that's something that no one can teach you."
Jack got up, and looked at his brother, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. Bobby felt his heart break when he was forced to return that look with nothing but a steely gaze.
August 1956
Jackie sat up in the hospital bed, staring blankly ahead, unable to think. They had called for Jack hours ago, but he hadn't come, so she had called the only person she knew would be there at the drop of a hat...
Jackie looked up to see him in the doorway, "Bobby." she felt a rush of relief at the sight of her brother-in-law.
Bobby felt an overwhelming sense of grief when he saw Jackie sitting there. She was pale and looked worn down. Her face was expressionless. She had her hands on her stomach, as if she was trying to recapture the feeling of being pregnant.
Bobby was silent for a very long time before he spoke, "Oh Jackie." He said, tears building in his eyes as he thought of his poor little niece, who was destined to never draw her first breath.
Bobby took a deep breath as he prepared his next words, "I arranged everything for the funeral, down to the coffin."
Jackie nodded, "That's good. Thank you, Bobby." Then tears started brimming in her eyes, and she broke down. Bobby rushed over to her and hugged her as she spoke: "Everything was fine yesterday, she was kicking. The doctors said I did nothing wrong. I didn't do anything wrong."
The words disappeared and became sobs as Bobby hugged his sister-in-law and whispered: "I know, Jackie. I know. I'm going to be here for you, I'm not going to abandon you, okay? We'll get through this."
Bobby felt tears brimming in his eyes, and for once in his life he didn't hear Joe's voice yelling: Kennedys don't cry! in his head. He cried, because for the first time in his entire life, he hated Jack.
He hated him for everything he had done to Jackie, and he wondered where he was now that could possibly be more important than this.
Bobby decided that he didn't want to know, because if he did, and if Jack was where he thought he was, Bobby would kill him.