Josh's POV
It was already taking too much effort not to be emotional while listening to that song in the car, but when Brandon started singing along, I felt even worse for having to leave - not that I should feel guilty about any of this. I didn't plan it. I didn't plan on meeting Brandon or Micah. I just really hope we can still be friends even after I leave.
They won't suddenly forget me because I left right? They won't be mad? They'll understand? I'd like to think so. I don't really want any depressing thoughts right now.
Brandon finally pulled up to the mall's parking structure, but there were too many people in today so it took a while for us to find a spot. We roamed around the parking lot for almost 10 minutes just to find one and I'm already dying to get out so we can start the date.
The engine was shut off the music stopped. We all stepped out of the car. Brandon and Micah went back to their spots beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I responded too by letting my arms go around their waists.
I still couldn't believe that I'm going on a date with these two men. Out of all the people in Hawai'i they could have met, I'm the one they chose to like; I'm the one they chose to pursue. I'm not complaining - in fact, I'm flattered - but I just didn't expect things to turn out this way.
Like I said before, thoughts of choosing between them will be out of my mind and I will try to avoid that question as much as possible at the end of the day
"So, what do you guys want to do?" Micah asked. We all walked towards the stage to see if there any performances going on. Sure enough, there was.
That a cappella group is back on stage! I just had to listen to what songs they've got on their list today. These people are amazing! They finally came up on stage, but they weren't doing anything, so I assumed they're just setting up for their performance.
"I want to watch them. I saw them here a couple days ago and they're really good," I said.
"Alright, you wanna wait for them or what?" Brandon asked.
"No, let's come back later."
"Alright, then let's go." Micah said, and their arms resumed position.
We walked around mindlessly just enjoying each other's company. We didn't really know where to go because I never really planned the day, but we were having fun just being with each other. There would be funny jokes and comments here and there, but we were quiet most of the time. It was about ten minutes later that I concluded that they were quiet because of the thought of me leaving tomorrow.
"Talk, please?" I finally said.
"Ok, what do you want to talk about?" Micah asked.
"Whatever you guys are thinking. I mean seriously, we're out together and I'm leaving tomorrow, I really want this day to be memorable."
"I'm sorry, Josh. It's just hard to accept that after tomorrow, you won't be here anymore." Brandon said.
"I'm sorry I have to leave you guys too, but we can always talk over the phone or video chat over the internet. Oh! We also might go on another vacation here or maybe you guys can visit me there!"
"That would be fun," they both said.
Just the thought of them visiting me in Los Angeles makes my heart flutter. Now that my family knows I'm gay, I don't have to hide it from everyone anymore. I'd really like for my friends back at home to meet Brandon and Micah. They'll love them!
"Yeah, maybe over the summer?" Brandon asked and winked at me.
"Sure!" I said.
"But we will miss you though." Micah said.
"You know, you guys better still talk to me even after I leave. My biggest fear is you guys hating me once I'm gone and completely forget I exist," I admitted.
Strong large arms suddenly wrapped around me and I looked around to search for its owner. Brandon was keeping me under his hold as he sent me a warm smile. He pecked my cheek and tightened his hold.
"Don't worry about that. You know I'll never forget you."
"Hey! You're not the only one on this date!" Micah said as he playfully slapped Brandon's arm. "I want skinship too!" he said oh-so-bluntly.
"Well come here then!" I shouted.
His arms replaced Brandon's and gave me a big warm hug.His next act caught me by surprised but did nothing by it. He kissed me on the lips and started making out with me right on the spot. I heard myself moan as his tongue flicked over mine. It wasn't that I hated it, but it felt weird with Micah. It's not like how it was when we kissed in the theaters. There wasn't any spark.
When he released me, I saw Brandon with an annoyed expression. I knew it made him jealous, but I just had to provoke him more by smirking and winking. His temper broke and pulled me towards him doing to me what Micah did.
I reveled in his lips' hold and I savored his taste. He was the sweetest thing I've ever tasted and I can go my whole life feeling his soft, plump lips on mine. Our lips moved in harmony and I can feel heat radiating from him. He pried my mouth open with his tongue and rubbed it against mine. I moaned inside his mouth as he continued his assault on mine.
I felt myself shiver and heat up and my legs turned into jello. He wrapped his arms around my back to keep me up and even pushed me closer to him do further depend the kiss. I melted in his arms, never wanting him to pull back. I wanted to be in his arms forever. I wanted to be able to taste his lips forever. I knew I was falling deeply in love for this boy, but I can't do anything about it.
Our make out sensing lasted longer than the one with Micah. I knew Micah was there standing next to us and I felt bad that he had to watch us, but I didn't want to turn Brandon down. I actually wanted more from him.
When we pulled back, Micah had a pained expression look on his face, but I started not to mind too much. I was set on choosing Brandon no matter what, and there's no way of letting Micah down easily. Either way, he'll end up heartbroken.
I hugged Brandon again with tight arms and felt his heat surround me. I was in a daze and started to mumble something even I couldn't understand. I was so lost in the feeling of comfort in Brandon's arms that I couldn't care less about what was happening in the world around me. As he held me tight in his arms, everything else in my life seemed to have disappeared. It was only me and Brandon alone together and I wouldn't have it any other way.
"What did you say?" Brandon asked me. I was still lost in my comfort zone though that I didn't even realize I had said something. But then he pulled back and everything was processed in my mind.
I told him I loved him, didn't I? Shit. My eyes widened as they dropped to the floor. I knew Micah must have probably heard me say that. I feel even worse now.
Brandon grabbed my chin with his thumb and forefinger and tilted my head to face his.
"I think I love you too, Josh," he whispered in between kisses. His words just killed me and sent me to heaven. I couldn't feel anything else. My whole body went numb from she had just told me and I'm loving this feeling.
He rested his forehead on mine and my eyes just closed to take in all the emotions that came from the simple gesture. I wanted to stay, but I can't. My heart almost literally broke when I came back to my senses.
No. I can't get attached. I can't fall in love with Brandon. If I leave, I'll never be able to function properly until he's by my side again. I don't think I'll be able to take the loneliness and sadness with Brandon not being by my side. I'll always long for his presence and I won't be able to focus on anything else.
It amazes me how I've changed within the last week. I've become more emotional now that I have someone to pour my feelings out to. I already felt tears rolling down my face when I thought about how Brandon's starting to love me. I already know that he'll be just as depressed as I am come the day after tomorrow.
"Shh... It's okay, Josh. Don't cry," he said comfortingly when he saw my tears.
"No, Brandon, it's not. I hate having to leave right when I finally fell in love with you,"
Too many hugs were being given today too. He pulled me back in for a hug and his scent surrounded me. I loved his smell as much as I loved the feeling of being in his arms. I can never get tired of this feeling.
"No, Josh. We can always try. It doesn't hurt to try. Just please give us a chance," he begged.
His hug became tighter and tighter as he waited for a response from me. It took me several seconds to finally come to a decision.
"Okay. We can try."
With those words, he captured my lips with his once more briefly before pulling back and giving me a smile. I looked around to see Micah standing there with tear streaked eyes.
"I guess, I never did have a chance with you, did I, Josh?"
I ran to him and gave him a friendly hug. "I'm sorry, Micah."
"It's okay. You deserve to be happy, Josh. After the horrors of your relationship with Trent, you deserve happiness."
"Thank you." I said as I pulled back and gave him one last peck on the lips.
"You're welcome, Josh. And just know, that I love you too. As much as Brandon."
I really felt bad that I wouldn't be able to give him back the same love, but it can't be helped. I'll always love him too, but only as a friend. A brotherly love.
"I love you too, Micah. And I'm sorry that I can't reciprocate your feelings for me, but I'll always love you as a close friend."
"Thank you, Josh. Now how about we continue on with our date? We still have the whole day together, right? Let's have some fun before you have to leave," he said, giving me a reassuring smile.
* * * * * * *
Micah's POV
"Okay! Let's go back to the stage, maybe they finished setting up!" I suggested.
As much as I love Josh, I' want him to be happy. I know I can't give him the happiness that he deserves, especially when he finds out that Trent is actually my brother. I know he'll hate me forever, but I'm still hoping that we'd stay friends.
I don't know exactly if I even want him to find out that Trent is my brother. I don't plan on telling him anytime soon, but I know that I should tell him first before anyone else does. For sure if that happens, I'll lose his trust completely.
Still though, even if I was the one who'd tell him, he'd still hate me. I wonder how I can make it so that he can easily forgive me. I mean, I have no excuse for delaying telling him about it, but there's got to be a way so he doesn't stay mad at me. Maybe he won't be mad at me. Maybe I'm just overthinking things. Still I don't want Josh to hate me. It's not my fault Trent is my younger brother.
We started walking back to the stage. I couldn't help but stare at Josh and Brandon holding hands while walking. I couldn't help but be jealous that Josh chose Brandon over me, but I had to concede. If Brandon is what makes Josh happy, then so be it. I don't want to force him to be with me, because it's just not the same.
"Hurry up, guys! I can already hear them singing!" Josh nagged.
"Okay, babe, let's go," Brandon said.
Babe. How I wish I can call Joshua 'babe.' I want him to be mine, but now I can't. Ugh, I can't think like this now. It's too depressing and Josh is leaving tomorrow too. I should be happier now so that I can have fun, good memories with him while he's still here.
We whizzed through the crowd trying our best to get to the stage as quickly as possible. that was until Josh had frozen in his tracks.
"Josh?" someone called out to him. Red filled me as my blood started to boil. Trent. What the fuck was he doing here?
"Trent, what the fuck are you doing here?" I spat at him.
"I'm on a date with Alice. She just took a bathroom break."
"Stay away from us, Trent," Josh hissed.
"Okay, fine. Whatever," he said.
"C'mon, guys. Let's go," I commanded as I tugged on Brandon's and Josh's arms. Before we got away from Trent, he spoke up.
"Oh yeah, Micah! Mom was asking for you earlier today. I think she needed help with something," I felt my body stiffen.
Shit! Now Josh knows he's my brother. Brandon kept us moving away from Trent. I didn't even dare to look at Josh because I was certain I'd find a confused or maybe even an angered expression on his face.
I was pulled harshly to the point where my arm was going to pop out of its socket. Brandon was a strong man, and now that he knows my secret, I'm sure he'll beat me up too.
"What was that?" Josh asked me as he stopped all of us halfway to the stage.
"What was what?" I asked innocently.
"The thing with Trent back there. Is he your brother?" I knew it. He's gonna hate me now. My head slumped down in shame. I remained silent for a few minutes, not bothering to answer his question. I knew that no matter what I said, it would end up with an angry Joshua.
I nodded hesitantly. "I'm sorry, Josh. Please don't be mad at me," I pleaded.
I was shocked when he hung onto me, wrapping his arms around my torso. I leaned into his hug and rested my cheek on his head. "You're not mad at me?"
"Yeah, I am," he said. That got me confused. "I am for keeping secrets from me. You should've told me right away that he was your brother, Micah."
"I'm sorry," I said, nuzzling his head.
"It's okay, Micah. I forgive you. I don't hate you though. In fact, I feel bad for you because you have such an asshole for a brother. I mean, he also stole your girlfriend away from you!"
"I love you, Josh,"
"I love you too, Micah."
Someone cleared their throat behind us, causing Josh to break away from the hug and look at the source of the sound. He ran towards the person and jumped into his arms.
"And I love you so much, Brandon," he said. I wasn't heartbroken anymore. I was happy for him. I was grateful that he was happy and that we remained friends despite my relationship with Trent.
I'm really hoping that our friendship will last forever....
* * * * * * *
A/N: This storyline to this book is waay too shallow, I get that. I just hope you all are still enjoying it though :) I promise that my next booke (The Betrothed) will have a better, more developed plot. I hope you guys check it out!
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