Shawn rolls over to shut off his annoying alarm that was going off. Last night he thought it'd be a good idea to set one so he can wake up early and do something productive.
He lies back down on his mattress and close his eyes, bringing up the covers up to his chest and letting sleep over come him for a just a while longer.
A few minutes later he is awoken by his growling stomach, he grumpily moans, "Are you kidding, it's barely 8 please calm down, you're not hungry." He grumbles to his stomach.
His belly rumbles in response. Shawn decides to ignore it just as he feels his bladder poke him, "Are you kidding? Can I not sleep in peace? Geez."
Shawn gets up and lazily walks to the bathroom, wobbling a bit as he pees. He washes his hands and then splashes some water on his face to be more awake.
His stomach growls one more time, "I heard you the first time."
Shawn's been lonely these past few days, making him talk to himself. It helps with his boredom but sometimes he wishes he had someone else in the house.
He walks downstairs and into his kitchen. He grabs the cereal Lucky Charms and a bowl, he sets it on the counter, when he opens the fridge he sees that there's no milk. Shawn frowns, he doesn't have anything else to make.
He walks back up to his room to put on some clothes, he looks in the mirror and is satisfied with his lazy look. He walks out of his house and makes his way to the supermarket.
The cold air makes Shawn's cheeks flush, a soft shade of pink covers them and his nose. There was a feeling of deja vu in the air, Shawn loved these kinds of days.
His short walk makes him think of his friends. Shawn's always thinking about them. He always wonders what he would be like if he didn't have them. He would be nothing without them. It sounds cheesy but it's true, his friends make him feel more happy. His old friends weren't the best of friends..
Before he could dwell on the past he walks inside the warm supermarket. There weren't many people here since it was still early. He walks toward the refrigerators and grabs a gallon. As he turns around he spots Chloe walking coming towards him.
"Chloe! Hi!" Shawn gets closer and Chloe smiles.
"Hey!"
"How are you? I haven't seen you in a while." Shawn asks as he gives her a one armed hug.
"I've been good!" She begins, Shawn smiles. "I actually have a-"
"Babe, the don't have any soy milk today." A tall girl with dark curly hair walks up to Chloe and takes the basket from her.
"It's okay V, I can come back another day." Chloe looks up at Shawn and smiles, "V this is Shawn, he's a friend."
The pretty girl turns to Shawn and smiles, "Shawn this is Violeta, my girlfriend." Shawn gives them both an open mouthed smile as he shakes Violeta's hand.
"Nice to meet you." They both say at the same time.
"Chloe always talks about you! She's been complaining how you don't call or text her anymore." Violeta tells him.
"Aw really, and I've been waiting for her to call me!" Shawn responds, he looks over at Chloe who was rolling her eyes, blush creeping up her cheeks.
Violeta smiles, "Yeah, Chloe's a shy one." She places a soft kiss to Chloe's burning cheek. "That's why I love her,"
Shawn felt giddy at the sight in front of them, it felt as if he was watching a a cheesy yet adorable love movie.
Violeta turns back to Shawn, "Now, Im going to go pay so we can go sleep for a little while longer. It was nice to finally meet you Shawn."
"Nice to meet you too." He replies as she walks away.
He turns to Chloe, "She's lovely Chloe,"
"I know," She smiles
"Im very happy for you."
"Thank you! But anyways, what about you? What happened to that guy? What was his name?" She asks, her eyebrow arching a little.
Shawn sighs, "It was uh, it was complicated, we kissed a few times but we're just platonic now."
"I call bullshit. No one ever kisses a few times and end up platonic! No way nope."
Shawn shakes his head, "We are!"
"So you're saying you haven't thought about the way his lips felt on yours? You're telling me that you haven't had an urge to kiss him one more time?" She questions and Shawn's cheek flush once more.
He has indeed thought about the kisses they shared. Sometimes he would lie awake in the middle of the night touching his lips as he remembered how it felt to kiss another boys lips. And if he focused hard enough he could remember the way John's fingers lightly touched his nape as they kissed.
Shawn stays silent, "I thought so. Why don't you go to him and confess your undying love for him."
"Woah woah woah," Shawn waves his left hand in front of him. "I do not love him. Do I love him as a friend? Yes I do, but not as a- I dont love him romantically." Shawn rambles on.
"You know, after I kissed you I said I was going to a friends house but I lied. I went to the park and sat on a bench, I cried and cried. My whole life I was told I had to like boys, and I tried hard to not like girls. But girls man, they're so pretty; their soft hair and lips, their squishy bodies, just girls in general are lovely. The night I kissed you, I just knew I wasn't into boys.. Anyways, Violeta and me had been friends since we were in middle school, and ever since she has always made me feel loved." She smiles as she thinks about her girlfriend.
"After I finally accepted who I was I realized I always liked her more than just a friend. I wanted more, but I just didn't know how to tell her that I liked her. I was afraid she wouldn't feel the same and she would push me away." She pauses for a while, "It took me two weeks to finally gather enough courage to tell her how I felt, you know what she said?"
Shawn shrugs, "What'd she say?"
"She said, 'what took you so long?'"
Shawn lightly chuckles, "The next morning I woke up beside her on her and I thought to myself, 'why didn't I do this sooner?'." She sighs, "Moral of the story, say the things you want to say while you still can, because that chance doesn't last forever. And besides, the sooner you tell someone you love them, the more time you'll spend with them."
Violeta comes back with a paper bag in her hand, "Mi vida, let's go before we miss the bus."
"Bye Shawn, call me sometime alright?" She smiles as she walks past him.
"I will. Nice to meet you again Violeta." Shawn says
Violeta waves and then grabs Chloe's hand. Shawn watches them both walk out of the supermarket, hand in hand.
Shawn looks down at the items he was still holding, the milk was starting to get warm and the cereal boxes were beginning to get wet from the water drops the milk gallon was dropping. He quickly walks to the cashier and places his items on the conveyor belt.
The lady quickly scans his item, "That'll be 5 dollars."
Shawn reaches for his wallet but realizes it is not in his hoodie pocket, he starts panicking as he pats his sweatpants pockets, "I um- I" Shawn mumbles. He cant believe he forgot his wallet, he had a simple task and he couldn't do it right.
"You can come back late if you wa-" The lady begins but she is cutoff.
"Its okay, I got this." Shawn turns to see a brunette boy get out his wallet, "Just scan my items too please."
He had an English accent and he was just a few inches shorter than Shawn.
The lady hands a bag to the boy and hands Shawn his gallon, "Oh, um thank you."
"It's no problem, my name's James." He extends his hand and Shawn gladly takes it.
"Im Shawn, thank you James for paying but I actually have to go now." Shawn explains.
James turns around to grab his change, "Oh its okay, hope to see you-" He turns back and sees Shawn already walking out the door, "..around."
One the way back Shawn kept thinking of what Chloe told him.
Again, Shawn thought back to the little time he has spent with John. Does John make his days better? Sure. And does he make him smile by just one simple touch? Yes. Does John make him feel special with a few simple words? Yes. And does he want to spend his days just talking to him and only him? Yes of course, but does that mean he likes John? No.
Shawn stops walking and laughs at himself, Oh, who am I kidding he thought. Of course he liked John, he could feel his heart beat faster as he thinks about them both being together- for real.
Then an idea pops into Shawn's head, he should go to his house right now and tell him how he feels. Shawn starts to run towards their street but immediately stops.
He can't just show up onto his doorstep and say he likes him! Barely a month ago he had told him that he wanted nothing more but just be friends. What if John had moved on from him?
But what if he hadn't? Shawn had a bit of hope so he decided to go with that.
He starts to walk faster. As he gets closer to their street his heart rates increases a little more.
When he finally gets there he decides to go to his house, fix himself a bit. He stores the milk in the fridge, not feeing hungry anymore. He runs up the stairs and into the bathroom. He fixes his hair and rushes his teeth, making sure his breath is extra minty.
He looks into the mirror and smiles, he clears his throat, "John I- nono."
"Hi John, I came to uh- ugh! No that's not good." Shawn shakes his head and looks at himself. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.
"John, hi. I came over to tell you that I like you. Someone made me realize that I should say the things I want to say before the chance is gone. I know I said I didn't like boys but, you're special. I never thought I'd fall for a guy but you make me happy and I completely understand if you don't feel the same, I just thought I'd give it a try."
Shawn says it a few times before he walks put of the bathroom, he runs back downstairs with a big smile on his face.
It slowly fades away as he stares through his half open door and sees John stand outside his door kissing another boy.
Shawn steps back and closes the door, not wanting to see them anymore.
He brings his hands up to his face and sighs. So much for the high hopes.