Chapter 17
I reached out groggily to turn off my alarm, and then wished it was still the weekend so I wouldn't have to get up and go to school.
I finished off my normal morning routine with a pair of aspirin from the bathroom cupboard. I didn't usually like taking drugs of any kind, but I had a sharp headache building already.
I shuffled downstairs, waved a speechless hello to mom, grabbed my lunch, bag, and books as I absently wondered why there was a cupcake on the counter with a lit candle. Mom has always been paranoid about open flames. She'd nearly burned down the house as a kid.
I was halfway to the front door before Mom grabbed my arm and turned me back towards the kitchen. "I can't believe you. You really would have left without realizing it was your birthday?"
Ugh. No wonder I had a headache. My brain must have been working overtime in an effort to block out the fact I was now another year older. "Thanks, Mom."
I blew out the candle, and turned to leave again, but didn't even get to take a step this time.
"Hold on there. Do you always skip breakfast now?"
Mom had somehow spontaneously developed these weird memories featuring me as a morning person. I personally couldn't remember a time when I'd actually liked getting up. I didn't necessarily hate the mornings, but we weren't really on a first name basis. More like acquaintances than friends.
"You both used to be down in the kitchen eating breakfast at the crack of dawn almost every morning. Now it's like you don't even want to roll out of bed."
She used to like mornings. I'd tagged along just because it hadn't seemed right to put a damper on such enthusiasm. Trust mom to bring that up on my birthday. I swayed just a little. Today it didn't seem quite as bad, as long as I didn't think of her actual name.
"Mom, I don't want to be late. Thanks a bunch for the cupcake. Can we wait to celebrate until after school?"
Now it was her turn to look guilty and fidget just a little bit. "Actually, that's why I wanted to talk to you this morning. I've been shooting that new place I left you the note about. The one that bunch of kids your age told me about. Anyways, it's the best place I've found so far. I've been shooting it at pretty much all hours, but I think I need to get higher up for the shot I want."
I knew exactly where this was going. Actually, I was kind of relieved she wasn't going to be around this afternoon. Birthdays are supposed to be special. Dad had always understood that and done an amazing job of surprising us with something new and unusual on our birthdays. Mom had always felt like a round of happy birthdays, and a cake more than met the requirements for birthday specialness. It was going to be hard enough missing dad on the one day guaranteed to make me think of him. It would've been worse if mom was around constantly making comparisons between what she was doing and what dad would've done.
"...so this is the only day he can help me; and if I don't get some help climbing, then I'll never make it high enough to get the shot for the tourism booklet. You understand don't you sweetie?"
I nodded, and managed a fairly convincing smile.
"Ok, then. Well there's a present for you in the living room, but since you didn't want to celebrate until after school, you'll have to wait to open it."
I could definitely hear the rumble of a high-performance engine. I nodded again, and turned to go, hopeful that I could somehow avoid the inevitable question of why Brandon was coming to pick me up in the mornings as well as dropping me off most afternoons. Unfortunately, mom's hearing was nearly as good as mine, and she was walking towards the windows before I managed to get the door open.
"Adri, who's that?"
It was obviously one of those leading questions designed to see whether or not I'd try to lie. I shrugged. "His name is Brandon; he picks me up sometimes in the morning."
I was saved from dealing with her response by Brandon's knock.
"Hello, Adriana, Mrs. Paige."
I never thought I'd see the like. Mom's face lost its stern 'I'm doing this for your own good' look, and instead transformed into something not very different from what I saw every time I watched the girls my age look at Brandon.
"Well hello. You're Brandon?"
**
Fifteen minutes later, I was still trying to believe things had gone so well. I'd expected mom to put her foot down and tell Brandon I'd be riding the bus to school every morning, starting today. Instead, she'd shaken Brandon's hand, smiled way more than usual, and hurried us out the door so we wouldn't be late for school.
"I don't know what kind of magic you just used on my mom, but whatever it was, you should do it again. Heck, use your powers on her every time you stop by. That was amazing!"
Brandon chuckled and reached over to run a finger across my palm. "I didn't do anything special. Your mom seems like a very sensible person."
I almost choked. "I love my mom, but she's the least sensible person ever. She spends half of her time in a different universe entirely, and only occasionally worries about the same kinds of things as other parents."
"Ah, a dreamer, but one that still freaks out when it comes to her daughter and boys. Maybe she was just struck by my obvious good nature."
I shook my head as we pulled into the parking lot. "Please. You're just about everything she's worried about in a guy. Rich, handsome, popular. The only thing you could change to scare her worse would be to join the football team and be the star quarterback."
His smile was so beautiful it made my heart ache. "Well, in that case I'm glad I never tried out for the varsity team. I'd hate to make things any more difficult for you."
Brandon gently captured my arm as we slipped inside the school. "Speaking of stars, I happened to read them last night and they told me a secret."
"Oh, really? Do tell, I always love to hear a good secret."
There was a new twinkle in his eye as he shook his head. "Oh, it wasn't a secret from you, just one you hadn't shared with me. Happy birthday. I've got a multi-part present in the works, but it's taking a bit longer to wrap it all up, so you may have to wait a little."
As quickly as that, he winked and turned to catch up with Cassie, leaving me in a state of near shock. He'd been inside the house, but hadn't been able to see the kitchen, so he hadn't seen the cupcake and candle. I'd done web searches on my name and birth date before and never had it return anything legit, so he couldn't have found it out that way. Even that would've been an unheard of level of effort coming from a guy, but however he really had learned it was my birthday must have been even harder than that.
I felt like I was floating on a cloud as I hurried off to Biology. The feeling lasted exactly as long as it took me to sit down, listen to Mrs. Sorenson tell us all that she'd finished grading our tests, and then see the big, self-satisfied 'D' sitting at the top of my paper.
For a second it felt as though my heart had stopped beating. I'd never done worse than a 'B' on any assignment or test since I'd finished up Kindergarten. I couldn't take this home and show my mom. Head in the clouds half of the time or not, she'd still freak out. Heck, I was already freaking out enough for the both of us. This was going on my high school transcript. The one colleges would be looking at. The one that might have gotten me a scholarship. Only now I'd be lucky to pull a 'C' out of the class.
I tried to control my breathing. This wasn't the end of the world. I was almost done catching up in Algebra, so I'd have a ton more time. If I really worked hard, maybe I'd be ok. Most teachers would still offer some kind of extra credit if you begged hard enough.
I spent the next hour mapping out exactly how I was going to salvage my college prospects, and had more or less pulled myself together by the time English ended. My newfound dedication to excellence meant I out did myself in Algebra. I finished up the day's homework, and made it more than halfway through one of my makeup assignments by the time Mrs. Campbell stopped off at my desk.
"Care to run another errand for me, Adriana?"
I didn't really want to. Not when I'd just discovered I had more studying to do than was humanly possible. Still, Mrs. Campbell had always been super nice, if equally stern, and there was only ten more minutes of class left. Besides, I'd been so intrigued by the sight of Alec drawing, that I wanted to see him like that again. If he could take such joy in the creation process, maybe he wasn't as bad as he seemed. The only way to know for sure was to see him with all of the masks off again.
"Sure, I'd love to. Mrs. North again?"
I ignored the spat of nasty looks shot my way, gathered my books, accepted the bundle of papers, and hurried off to the stairs. It was later than last time, so unless I was quick the bell was going to ring before I made it back down the stairs. The congestion was bad in the halls, but for some reason it was twice as bad around stairs.
Apparently I was hurrying just a little too fast. I tripped just before I hit the first step, and almost went crashing down the flight that led to the basement. Luckily I was just quick enough to grab the banister and save myself from a broken neck. I didn't quite manage to avoid twisting my ankle though, so I limped all the way up to the second floor.
Trying to be as casual as possible, I looked into the art room as I hobbled by, but they'd rearranged their stations, and someone's easel was in the way now.
The sprained ankle had slowed me down enough that there was no way I was going to make it back to my locker before the bell rang. Still, I tried to be gracious when it went off just as I handed Mrs. North the papers.
Based on the number of classrooms on the second floor, and the narrowness of the stairs, there was no point in trying to wait the crowd out. I gritted my teeth and limped out into the surge of bodies.
Surprisingly enough, there were more familiar faces than expected. As I grabbed the handrail on the right, I noticed Isaac several feet ahead of me. Of course, it's hard to miss someone nearly six feet tall and almost as well-muscled as Alec. Even if he was partially hidden by Vincent, who was strutting along a little higher up the stairs with all of his usual arrogance.
If Isaac had been the one close enough to reach out and touch, I probably would've tried to get his attention and said hi. With Vincent, I just stayed quiet and hoped he wouldn't notice me.
I didn't want to risk tripping and making my ankle worse, so I was paying especially close attention to where my feet were going. If I hadn't been looking down, I would have completely missed it. I still almost thought I'd imagined it, but there was no denying that Vincent's foot snaked out and nudged the ankle of the kid in front of him just hard enough to trip the smaller guy.
The result was all out of proportion to what I expected. The smaller boy fell forward, careening towards the banister with so much force he knocked people in front of him out of the way.
Just before I left elementary school someone had read us a newspaper article about some poor guy being pushed over a railing and falling to his death. I'd had nightmares for months. Dreams where the stairs had turned slick and I'd slid all the way down them. Dreams where the banister hadn't even been there and the stairs had become impossibly narrow; and nightmares where I'd somehow stumbled and started to fall over the edge of the railing.
This was like all of those dreams put together, only happening to someone else. A couple of kids seemed to reach out, but the only people who could've really stopped him had already been bowled over.
Time slowed down for me as he hit the railing and started over it. His feet came up and his torso was hanging in the void when someone reached over and grabbed his arm. I heard a grunt of effort, saw him stop moving, and only then realized it was Ben who'd nearly died.
In the split second between Ben being gently placed back on the stairs, and everyone starting to breathe again, I followed the arm that'd saved him back to see who the hero was. Isaac met my gaze as he let go of Ben and then he looked up at Vincent with a stare that was somehow both calm and challenging at the same time.
"What are you looking at freak?" It was hard to believe Vincent could be so nonchalant after having almost killed someone. It'd been an accident obviously, but still that wasn't the kind of thing you just shook off.
All of the kids that'd been rushing forward to congratulate Isaac for his heroic save, started backing away. Anxious to avoid the fight, I tried to move with the crowd, but felt a flash of pain as my abused ankle protested.
For a second I couldn't think about anything other than the agony. When I managed to get my eyes to focus again, Vincent was only a couple of inches away from Isaac and hissing something too quiet for me to make out.
Whatever it was, Vincent was all but foaming at the mouth while Isaac was so calm it was hard to believe a fight was about to break out. As admirable as Isaac's calm was, I was actually wishing he was a little more worked up. I'd seen plenty of fights where the guy who got the first hit in won.
Vincent was going to throw the first punch, and then Isaac was going to go down like a house of cards. Something Vincent said must've been particularly vile. Isaac's expression shifted for just a second. They were circling now, both amazingly graceful considering that they were still on the stairs.
Everyone stepped back a little further. I hobbled up a stair or two in an effort to avoid getting in the way.
I'd heard of tension so thick you could cut it with a knife, but this was the first time I'd ever experienced it. It felt like there was electricity surging back and forth between Vincent and Isaac, making my skin feel too small.
The tension suddenly flickered like a dying light bulb. "Vincent!"
I was disoriented for a second. The yell had come from behind me, and had torn the two apart faster than I'd believed possible.
The crowd, packed so tightly that I'd been worried someone was going to get pushed over the railing, separated as Alec flowed down the stairs. I'd only thought Isaac and Vincent were graceful. Alec made them look like drunken frat boys.
Vincent spun around so fast it almost looked like he was going to fall down and then backed away from both of them like a cornered animal. It was hard to decide whether my excitement at seeing the biggest jerk I'd ever met humbled outweighed my dislike for Alec, who'd pretty much locked up the honor of being the second biggest jerk.
A surge of dread washed through me as Vincent backed closer to the wall in an effort to maintain his distance from Alec.
I half expected for the incredible tension I'd been feeling before to disappear, but instead it morphed slightly. If I hadn't know it was absolutely absurd, I would've said it felt like there was a tingly wind blowing down the stairs, pushing Vincent along before it.
Isaac moved slightly. It was a small change of position, but somehow incredibly menacing. It wasn't until Vincent froze in place that I realized Isaac's shift had kept Vincent squarely between him and Alec. It was like watching a pair of wolves bringing down an elk. I'd seen gangs work together like this before, but it seemed strangely out of place in Sanctuary.
I was positive there was going to be a fight after all, but then Vincent grabbed some poor freshman, shoved him into Isaac, and pushed his way downstairs as Isaac caught the human missile.
As soon as Vincent was safely out of sight, everyone surged forward to congratulate Isaac on having saved Ben, and Ben on having not died.
**
The near fight between Isaac and Vincent, and then Alec's intervention seemed to be the buzz for the next two hours. It appeared that a lot of other people felt the same way that I did. Alec was plenty prickly and stuck up, but that was nothing compared to how much the average student hated Vincent, who seemed to delight in making everyone's life miserable.
The teachers seemed curiously ignorant of everything. Nobody else seemed to think that was unusual which freaked me out almost as much as Ben having nearly gone over the stairs.
At least I didn't have to listen to all of the gossip during lunch. Once I'd been able to hobble down the stairs, I'd made my way to Mr. Whethers' room, and I'd spent the entire lunch break studying.
I hadn't been especially excited at the prospect of spending that long by myself, but the cafeteria was all the way on the other side of the school. Limping over there listening to Vincent run his mouth, and then coming all the way back here for History wouldn't be worth it.
History being what it was, I probably heard about as much in that one hour as most everyone else did during the whole rest of the day. Mr. Simms seemed especially dense, and pretty much let everyone do whatever they wanted for the entire class.
In deference to my new dedication to academic excellence, I finished up the reading, and then opened up my Biology book and started trying to get a handle on all of the items I'd thought I understood, but apparently hadn't.
When the bell rang I limped back to my locker before making my painful way to Physics. I almost turned around and left when I saw the substitute again, but almost two decades of ingrained respect for authority figures propelled me into the room and to my seat.
I happened to look up at the exact moment that Alec appeared in the doorway. I expected him to take one look at the sub and turn around like he'd done before, but he seemed to register the presence of a substitute and then come inside regardless.
It didn't make sense until the first girl all but fainted as he walked past her desk. Of course. He didn't like substitutes, and figured he had better places to be, but the draw of hero worship after having almost double teamed Vincent was just too much to resist.
The sub took a desultory roll, and then waved his hands at us. "Her notes say you're all supposed to be able to work on some kind of group project. Just keep it to a dull roar."
It was like releasing a bunch of kids in a candy store and telling them to sample whatever they wanted. Every single girl in the classroom but me made an instant beeline towards Alec's desk. The guys were a little slower, but not by much. For a while I tried to ignore all of the poorly disguised gushing about how brave Alec was, or attempts by the guys to recreate exactly what Alec would've done if Vincent had gone ahead and thrown a punch.
After fifteen minutes I finally gave up, closed my book and flipped open my notebook. Our physics class was about the most sedate, nerdy group of people I'd yet met. If they were this worked up about the fight, it was a good thing I didn't share any other classes with Alec. The rest of the school must be three or four times as bad.
Sketching helped block out all of the inane conversation that'd taken over the other corner of the room. It was amazing how easily I was able to zone out while drawing. Once again, I didn't try to guide my hand, just let my subconscious create a horizon and start fleshing out a body of water and droopy trees around it.
The sound of a hand coming down hard on a desk pulled me from my refuge. "I told you all to keep it to a dull roar. I want everyone back to your seats."
A couple people looked like they wanted to give the sub a hard time, but these were all the kids that were hoping to make it into the top ten percent of their graduating class. None of them really had a disobedient bone in their body. They grudgingly returned to their seats and left Alec by himself.
I picked my pencil back up and started drawing again, only to be disturbed by someone clearing their throat. Alec was looking down at me with something almost like a smile playing at the corner of his lips. For a second I couldn't blame the other girls for swarming him over. He was so attractive it was hard to remember he was such a jerk.
I forced myself to stop wondering if anyone else in the entire world had such incredibly blue eyes, and tilted my head to the side questioningly.
"Sorry, I can tell you're not really in the mood to work on our project, especially with all of the racket today, but I saw you limping down the stairs just before lunch. Are you ok?"
It was almost convincing. If he hadn't mentioned the stairs, and thereby the fight, I might have fallen for it, but he was just looking for more attention.
"I'll be ok. Just a little sprain."
Alec looked like he wanted to say something else, but finally nodded and sat down in the next chair over. It wasn't as good as if he'd gone all the way back to his seat, and it was extremely out of character, but it was better than nothing. I breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn't going to continue fishing for compliments, and returned to my drawing. I knew I should open my books back up and study, but it was starting to take shape, and I figured it was only a few minutes away from becoming recognizable. Once that happened my meager drawing skills would evaporate and I'd have to stop anyways. For whatever reason every time I tried to work on something after I realized what it was, I completely ruined it. One of many reasons why I'd never really pursued drawing.
A short time later I surfaced again and looked down to find a familiar landscape. The body of water had morphed into an oblong pond with a crescent land positioned almost exactly in the center. I still remembered the first time I'd been told a monster had taken a bite out of the island, and that was the reason it was so oddly shaped.
The trees were all familiar too. I'd climbed each and every one of them at least once. The one on the right had taken the longest to conquer. I'd tried climbing it dozens of times over the years before finally making it to the top when I was thirteen. When I'd finally made it as high as I figured was safe, I'd worked my trembling way back down to the ground, and never felt even the slightest inclination to climb it again.
I felt tears start to gather at the corner of my eyes as I remembered all of the good times our family had spent together there. It was like being immersed in everything I'd loved only to have it evaporate when I went to grab my surroundings.
"Hey, that's really pretty good. Is that a real place?"
I nodded, hoping Alec would take the hint implied in my silence. I should have known better.
"What's it called?"
The name slid out of me almost of its own accord. "Monster Lake."
Every single birthday I could remember had involved some kind of trip out to Monster Lake. Picnics had swapped off with treasure hunts and then been replaced by other activities depending on Dad's mood and my age. My subconscious had keyed in on the one scene guaranteed to make me feel miserable.
"Was that close to your house in Minnesota? I..."
Whatever else Alec was saying was lost to the roar in my ears, caused as always by my racing heart. I didn't even have a chance to try and fight the attack. By the time I realized I was in trouble, papers were flying off my desk and the floor was racing up to meet me.
Rather than swimming around in blackness like I normally did when collapsed, this time there was just nothing. One second I was falling, the next I was opening my eyes and looking up at Alec.
"Stand back everyone, and let me through!"
It took a few seconds to realize the sub was the one yelling. Nobody seemed very interested in making room for him. The reason it took so long for my brain to start working again was that I couldn't seem to think about anything other than Alec.
He was looking down at me with an expression I'd never seen on his face before. I still couldn't read it, but it was new and somehow seemed like it belonged there more than his normal impenetrable mask.
"What's going on? Is she ok?" The sub had finally pushed his way through the crowd, and looked like he was about two steps away from a total panic.
Alec stood, and it wasn't until I went up at the same time that I realized he was carrying me. "I think she'll be fine, but maybe I should get her to the nurse. Just to be sure." Even as he was talking, Alec was moving towards the door.
"There's really no need. I'm fine. I don't need to see the nurse." It was obvious he was going to ignore me. I tried to thrash around enough for him to put me down, but he restrained my arms with a couple of fingers. The motion was so casual I was pretty sure nobody even realized he'd pinned my arms to my stomach with surprising strength.
I thought about kicking, or even screaming, but that would just leave me feeling like a child and give Alec exactly the kind of attention he was probably hoping for.
"You hit your head pretty hard; I really think we should get you to the office. Sir, with your permission?"
The comment about hitting my head settled me down. It wasn't until we were out in the hall that I realized my head didn't hurt. That was probably a really bad sign.
"Let go of my hands."
Alec unpinned my arms, set me down, and then chuckled as I started gingerly probing my scalp. "What are you doing? You didn't actually hit your head. I caught you before you hit the ground."
I started to shake my head and then thought better of it. "Please, every other time I've dropped that quickly I've totally banged myself up. You were on the other side of my desk, there's no way you got all the way around it and managed to catch me before I hit the ground."
The mild amusement on Alec's face froze into something else. "Believe what you will. There's no reason to worry about a concussion."
"Then why did you tell the sub I'd hit my head?"
He looked away for a moment, almost as though deciding whether or not to tell the truth. "I presumed you wouldn't want to stay and be subject to everyone's questions. You seem not to like people prying about your attacks, and you were less happy than usual today. I thought you could use the break."
Apparently he'd decided against the truth option. "I looked unhappy today? You who never crack a smile unless you're going to get something out of it were concerned about the fact I wasn't all smiles and giggles? Maybe you should flunk a test or two. Only it doesn't really count unless your dad, you know, the one who used to make your birthdays really special, is gone."
Alec's mouth opened, closed, and then assumed its normal place in his unreadable mask. He reached out, almost consolingly, but I stepped away before he could make contact.
I knew I should shut up before I said something really unreasonable, but my anger was in the driver seat now. "Don't try and pretend you're sorry. You were just looking for an excuse to get out of class once all of the hero worship dried up. Well I got you out and you helped me avoid all of the stupid questions everyone would've asked, so we're even."
There was another flicker of something I couldn't quite read in Alec's eyes, but I was long past caring. I turned and limped off, wishing my ankle was in better shape so I could properly stomp.
Spanish arrived much too soon. Since I hadn't gotten in trouble wandering the halls so far, it was a definite temptation to skip the last hour of school too. Unfortunately my luck was bound to give out sooner or later, and then I'd be in even more trouble. The last thing I needed was a record of delinquency to go along with my failing grade in Biology.
Mrs. Tiggs was positively glowing as we all walked into her classroom. She popped out of her chair as soon as the bell rang, and began handing out graded tests. It seemed like my world started trembling as I turned my test over and saw an 'F' at the top of the page.
'Come see me after class.'
The note felt like the final nail in the coffin of my academic future. My efforts to focus were entirely wasted. It took everything I had just to hold myself together until class ended.
I'd planned on remaining in my seat until everyone else left, but Mrs. Tiggs motioned me to her desk while half the class was still filing out the door.
"It gives me no pleasure to tell you this, but based on your initial test score I think you should prepare yourself for the fact that you're probably going to fail this class. I worried this would be the result of your starting so late in the semester and not having any prior Spanish experience. Unfortunately, it's now too late for you to switch into another class. I'm afraid you'll just have to take the failing grade."
I stood there woodenly for several seconds, unsure whether or not she was through. She finally made a shooing motion and turned back to grading papers. Predictably, there were still a half dozen other kids in the classroom. They all turned back to the door and started filing out again, but by tomorrow half the school would know exactly how badly I'd just been humiliated.
I found myself just outside the tutor lab with no recollection of having stumbling to my locker, or going by Physics to grab the stuff I'd left there. Still, somehow my Spanish book had disappeared, replaced by my math book. My knees started shaking as I entered the room, but I made it safely to my normal table before they gave out.
"Adri, Adriana? Excuse me." I didn't recognize the girl standing across from me, but based on her uncomfortable expression and the fact that more than one person seemed to have turned for the sole purpose of watching us out of the corner of their eyes, she'd been standing there longer than I'd realized.
Apparently my looking up was enough of a response for her to proceed. "I've got a note from Mrs. Campbell. She asked me to deliver it to you."
I managed something that could just barely be construed as a thank you, took the note, and watched her leave. Somehow a note from a teacher, even one I liked, didn't seem very important when weighed against failing two of my six classes.
The reoccurring thought of how horrified my Dad would've been that his daughter, 'the smart one,' was going to flunk out of high school was enough to keep me constantly on the edge of a panic attack. The longer that went on the less ability, and even more dangerous, the less desire I'd have to try and fight it off.
I finally opened up the note more out of a need for a distraction than any real inclination to find out what it contained.
Adriana. I'm afraid I've been called into a surprise meeting with the school administration. Normally I wouldn't cancel the tutoring session, but Albert and Peter are both out, and it wouldn't be fair to leave you all by yourself to try and take care of everyone. Go ahead and tell everyone the tutoring session is canceled, and I'll see you tomorrow.
--Nora Campbell
I sat motionless for several seconds before realizing this was the out I needed. If I could pull myself together enough to cancel the lab, I could go home and self-destruct without ruining the scattered shards left of my life.
"The lab has been canceled for today. I'm sorry everyone, but most of the tutors are sick and Mrs. Campbell had to go to a meeting after school. Everything should be back to normal tomorrow though."
I expected everyone to essentially jump to their feet and all but run out of the room. I didn't expect what I actually got.
"Who are you and why on earth should we believe you? The last thing I want to do is go home and get in trouble for cutting tutoring again."
I opened my mouth to answer, but words wouldn't make their way past the trembling in my chest. I felt tears start threatening to arrive and further humiliate me, but Rachel came to my rescue.
"She's one of the tutors. Patty Sanders, who I happen to know has Mrs. Campbell's class sixth period, just gave her a note. Stay if you want, but she's done exactly what she was supposed to."
I wanted to give Rachel a big hug, or maybe just break into tears right then and there. I managed to just give her a smile, and hold off on the tears until I'd gathered up my stuff and made it out of the room.
Rachel caught up with me before I made it very far. "Adriana, are you ok? Don't you want a ride home?"
I turned towards her to respond and just broke down. She pulled me into an open classroom and gave me a hug while I tried to explain about the two failed tests, my birthday, and how much I missed my Dad and Cindi.
The last bit was especially garbled. I was pretty sure she wasn't getting any of it, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was I was finally able to tell someone. I never really got myself under control; my sobs just subsided enough for me to tell Rachel I wanted to go home.
Isaac was standing right outside the classroom door, and unobtrusively helped Rachel get me to his car where she jumped into the back with me. Even through the haze of tears I could tell he wasn't happy about the seating arrangement, but once again Rachel showed the kind of iron will she'd demonstrated with James. Almost before I knew it we were rolling to a stop in my driveway. I fumbled, for the latch, but Rachel put a hand on my arm before I could get the door open. She handed me a white-wrapped package with a shy smile.
"Hang in there. Oh, and happy birthday. Don't open it now, but I hope you like it."
I whispered thanks as I hugged her goodbye, and then made my halting, limping way into the house. I was only in the house for fifteen minutes before I realized being all by myself was a terrible idea.
At some point I transitioned from just crying to having a full blown panic attack. It should've terrified me that something new was bringing on an episode, but it was like there was so much else going wrong I couldn't spare any more emotional energy.
I came out of the attack and lay on the floor thinking about all of the good times I'd had with Dad and Cindi. The memories should have made me feel better, but they had the opposite effect. I felt the tears start again as I realized all that goodness and joy was gone from my life forever. As my immunity started to wear off, I gratefully surrendered to the next attack, and the blissful relief it represented.
I knew I was on track to drop back into the funk that'd robbed me of the weeks immediately after they died, but I was still strangely numb in the parts that should have cared.
It seemed like I was on my third iteration, but it might have been the fourth or fifth. I was too detached to care. The knock on the door at least brought me back to myself enough to wonder how long I'd been on the floor.
My ankle hurt so bad, it was all I could do to get myself standing, and then hobble the fifteen feet to the door.
When I finally managed to get the door open and found empty space where there should have been a person, I almost swore. Then I saw the incredibly beautiful rose on our porch.
I picked it up, trimmed the bottom inch or so off with a knife, and got it into some water acting out of nothing more than pure habit. Dad had always kept at least a pair of rose bushes alive. He'd loved nothing more than giving mom roses.
Once I'd safely done my part to help prolong the future life of the gorgeous specimen, I got down to really examining it. I was far from an expert on roses, but I'd looked through pictures of hundreds of different kinds of tea roses, and never seen anything quite like this one. It was as big as some of the largest specimens I'd seen, and had at least fifty percent more petals than most of the 'very full' varieties I was familiar with.
That in and of itself was pretty amazing, but nothing in comparison to the petals themselves.
They were the purest white edged in a breathtaking purple. Equally amazing was just how velvety they were. They looked like the softest thing in the world, and cried out to be touched.
I expected to be disappointed as I leaned in. Most of the prettiest roses aren't actually very fragrant. This one proved a surprise. The normal scent I'd come to associate with roses was there, with the slightest hint of something new, something somehow better than anything I'd ever been exposed to.
I leaned in even closer in an attempt to drink in the fragrance, and heard the rustle of expensive paper as I brushed the note that had been attached to the rose with a simple green ribbon. My name was elegantly scrawled along the outside face in a script I'd only seen one other place.
After a moment's hesitation, I unfolded the parchment.
Your birthday should be a time of happiness. I've spent months looking for a name for this flower, and at the point of giving up, inspiration struck today. Lagrimas del Angel always come at too high a cost. Nothing so exquisite could be otherwise. Please don't despair.
--@
The hand-drawn symbol on the bottom of the page was so familiar it almost felt like a part of me now. He'd saved our house, got mom a job, and then given me the best birthday present I could've asked for.
I felt my insides clench and knot, but this time it was happiness that brought tears to my eyes. My wavering vision was just up to making out the outline of Rachel's present where I'd left it on the table.
Feeling incredibly ungrateful and thoughtless, I limped over to the table and tore open the delicate wrapping paper. It was a copy of the latest Les Misérables movie, complete with the score from the most recent Broadway production, and a signed picture of the entire cast.
Mom still wasn't home by the time it got dark, but I went to bed truly happy for what seemed like the first time in ages. Rachel was the best friend a girl could wish for, and Brandon had come through in spades.