"The color really brings out your eyes." my aunt's kind compliment seeped into my deep train of thought and shattered anything that was left.
I smoothed out the blue band tee and faced my reflection in the mirror hanging over the small dresser. "I don't really think I should keep-"
"Your mother would have loved for you to have it. This was one of her favorite shirts." she rested her chin on my shoulder and smiled at the image of the two of us, a longing clear in her eyes.
It was hard to stare at myself in the small mirror; I looked absolutely horrendous, like I'd walked straight out of zombie movie.
My hair was in a messy, tangled ponytail on my head, my cheeks drained to a point where little color remained. Even my body was slouched, as if all of my hopes and dreams had been taken and washed away.
"I'll let you get back to your boyfriend, I'm sure he's missing you." she patted my shoulder and ducked out of the room before I could deny what she said. I sat back on the bed Griffin and I had shared last night, the sheets and comforter a tangled mess thanks to the giant that had been sleeping beside me.
The second his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light. With his sleep he brought obnoxious snores, inches from my ear the entire night. There was already a chance I wouldn't get much sleep, but having a hog in your ear for twelve hours definitely doesn't help.
Forcing myself back up from the bed, I fixed the sheets and blanket before falling back on top of them, burying my face against the pale blue pillow.
"Sleeping Beauty, I know you're awake." Griffin's quiet voice echoed through the room, "I've got bagels."
I rolled over to face him in the doorway, frowning when I saw how soaked the light gray shirt he had on was, "What, did you run into a small rainstorm on your way into the shop?"
He laughed without emotion, "I jogged there, actually. I needed my morning run and felt it'd be great if I could get a reward for it."
I watched as he tossed the bag on the bed beside me, shrugging. I plucked a chocolate chip bagel from the bag and picked at it.
"You disgust me, Griffin." I stated loudly. He chuckled.
"Why is that?"
"Because you run every morning. Who runs every morning?" I gestured toward myself, "I seriously need to work out."
He crossed the room and threw himself on to the bed, "I agree. You know, a great way to burn excess calories is-"
"If you say sex, I'll punch you in the throat." I threatened, narrowing my eyes. Griffin smirked, stuffing another piece of his bagel in his mouth as he spoke.
"I was going to say running, but hey, I'm totally game if you want to burn some calories that way." he winked.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked once a few minutes of silence had passed.
"I'm not in the mood right now, if that's your question." he stifled a laugh. I sat up, staring down at the small piece of bagel in between my fingers.
"What's up, Alex?" he was serious again, propping his head on his hand as he turned to face me.
"Do you like me?"
"Of course I like you. I would have ditched you a long time ago if I didn't." He tried at a joke, but the tense air ate it seconds after it left his mouth.
"I mean. . . Griffin, are you in love with me?" I watched a dumbfounded expression fall on his face. I saw his jaw clench, a muscle twitching.
"Why would you ask that?" he whispered.
"I. . . I just want a simple answer to a simple question, Griffin." I stared at the boy in front of me, my lips drifting apart as I waited for an answer.
"I don't think now is a good time to discuss this, Alexis." my head whipped up in shock at his use of my full name. I couldn't remember the last time he'd used it.
"Now is as good of a time as any."
"I'm not going to ruin our friendship over ridiculous feelings that I don't even understand, alright?" Griffin launched off the bed, blushing furiously, "I don't give a shit about how you think you're going to react if I told you the truth, you're in too much pain to even understand your feelings right now, aren't you?"
I bowed my head, shrugging a shoulder, "I don't know, Griffin. I think Tobias might have feelings for me and I . . . I can't lose you both when I say there isn't really a chance at a relationship right now, possibly not ever."
Griffin was crouched before me when I lifted my head.
"Is there a chance anything will happen between us romantically?" He questioned, eyes hardening.
"I don't know." I responded honestly.
"Then there is a chance, Alexis. If there's a chance, then I'm willing to wait, understand that. I've been here with you since the beginning and I'll be here until the end."
I tangled my arms over his shoulders and buried my face in his chest, feeling him returning the action once he realized what was going on.
It was time like these that gave me a little hope, that when I got back home and finally settled with the fact of knowing I'll never meet my mother, things would go back to normal.
*
I watched in amusement as Lucas played peek-a-boo with Kaelyn. Watching my brother, it was hard to imagine this was the same guy that had once tied a guy to tree because he called me stupid. The Luke I knew was no where to be found, but had been replaced with a man that believed there was a sure future laid out in front of him. One with his daughter and maybe a wife along the way.
"Griffin, she's going after the ball!" Katrina nearly shouted when my niece rose and stood to grab Griff's football laying against his duffel bag. She stumbled a few feet away from it and stared up at Griffin with tearful eyes.
"You want to play football?" He asked the two year old as if she could understand him. He swooped her into his arms and sat her on his lap, reaching town to pick up the ball once she was situated. "Your Auntie Alex is really good at playing and I bet you will be too."
Kaelyn giggled, clutching Griffin's lucky football against her small chest, even tinier hands wrapped around the ends of it.
"You're so beautiful." Katrina's turned to me with a warm smile, "I remember the last time I saw you, you still had those braces and were growing into your looks. I always knew you'd turn out to be gorgeous though."
I returned the smile and shifted in the recliner, "Thanks."
Lucas took his daughter from Griffin before he could actually allow Kaelyn to toss the ball and hurt herself or someone else. "Alrighty, baby girl. Daddy has to go now."
Griffin and I exchanged a look before rising from our comfortable seats and grabbing our bags from the ground. My brother was cooing to the little rusted haired girl in pigtails, squeezing her small hand.
I felt Griffin's hand fall against my shoulder and wrapped my hand around it with a nod.
"You guys be careful and stay safe." Kat pulled me into a hug, rubbing my back, "It was great seeing you guys again."
"You be a good boy and protect this precious diamonds from all her brothers." she went on when she hugged Griffin, barely reaching his chest. He laughed, nodding as he fell back and leaned against the arm of the couch.
"I'll try my best, but Alex has a badass way of dealing with those morons herself."
Everyone laughed except Lucas on the loveseat. His attention was on the two year old currently grasping his hand, tears rolling down her rosy cheeks, blue eyes a mirror of his own.
"Luke?" Kat smiled sadly, "She's going to be fine."
My brother sent a sad look over his shoulder at the girl standing behind him, eyes pleading.
"Are you sure you can't move to California? I can get a second job and an apartment and-"
"Lucas, honey. I told you I'd think about it. I understand how much Kae needs her father, I'm not going to deprive her of that."
Kaelyn's eyes were on me as her parents spoke, curiosity replacing the tears in them. I offered a smile and a wave in return.
"I'll call as soon as we land." Luke pulled Kat into a tight hug, smiling into her shoulder. My heart tightened in my chest as a smile broke out across my face.
It had been years since I'd seen my brother smile this way. My selfishness of wanting him to stay with me was nothing compared to the hope I had of him being happy. He had a life outside of us, his siblings, now. I wasn't going to be cruel and have that taken away from him.
*
Boarding the plane again was a horrible experience in itself. I was exhausted, overly tired, and irritable. Griffin and Lucas tried to cheer me up as we awaited our plane, but it wasn't working.
All I needed was to curl up in my bed and sleep, knowing I was safe and home and pretend that everything was back to the way it was.
"Your aunt wanted me to give this to you." Griffin dropped a charm bracelet into my hand. I spun it around to see the charms attached. All had to do with the planets.
How strange it was to see it, considering my entire family was a solar system, me the sun.
"Shit." Was the next comment that left Griffin's mouth. I was about to ask what happened when Lucas cursed under his breath.
"What?" I questioned worriedly, "Is everyone okay?"
Griffin tore his eyes away from his screen with a sigh, "Yeah. I mean, other than the fact that Jason just got rushed to the hospital." I gasped, my hand gripping a fistful of his black v-neck.
"What do you mean? Is he okay?" I said. He nodded.
"Knowing Jace, probably." he paused and looked toward the planes landing on the runway, "I guess we'll have to wait five hours to find out, won't we?"
***AN***
Hope you guys enjoyed!
Let me know what you thought!
~ChasingMadness24