Dean woke up with a bad headache. He wasn't even able to recognise his own room. There were pink sheets on the bed, a pair of shoes with high heels behind the door, some photographs on the table with a computer and a woman's bag. Well, definitely it wasn't his room. He also noticed that he was almost naked, except for the pair of boxers he was wearing. Damn, he got probably laid with a girl and now he was in her house. It wouldn't have been the worst thing ever some years ago, but now it was.
So, he got dressed and then he went downstairs. There were plastic plates and glasses everywhere. He understood immediately that there was a party there, last night.
<< Where the hell am I? >> he asked himself, with hoarse voice.
<< Hey, stranger. >> a girl answered, appearing from the kitchen with a broom in her hands. Dean's heart stopped, when he recognised her and a sense of loss hit him in his chest. << You're in my house and we kind of have a moment, last night. If you know what I mean. >> she said, blinking.
Dean raised an eyebrow.
<< Since when you're so coquettish? >>
<< Excuse me? >> she asked, a bit angry.
<< Nevermind. Where's my brother? Did you see him? He's very tall, good-looking, long hair... >>
<< I don't know, there were a lot of people here yesterday night. >> she said. Then, she stopped to stare at him. There was something in the way he was clutching his jaw or in the faded spark in his green eyes, that reminded her of something. << I'm sorry, do we know each other? >>
Dean took a deep breath, before he could talk. Cas had warned him: he had to be very careful and very polite, if he wanted to tell her the truth. He only had one shot. He managed to control his voice, or it would have cracked down.
<< Yeah, Y/N, we do. >> he replied. She locked her eyes into his ones, so glossy, tired and a bit circled in red. Dean gulped, concerned. There was something about him that was slipping away from the tip of her tongue, like a memory that didn't want to come up in her mind and it literally gave her the urge to scream. She had met him somewhere. << A witch took away your memories from you a couple of months ago, when we were on a hunt. I've been searching for you since then, because that dumb witch sent you away from me. >> he explained. He took a step forward, his hands were trembling. << I'm your husband. We even have a kid together, Bobby. He's two years old and he's with Jody, our friend, now. She's taking care of him, don't worry. >> he said. She seemed shocked, scared and astonished. He thought she could faint right now. << Look, I know that this is hard to believe, but it's the truth. >> he continued. Her gaze was lost beyond the wall behind Dean. She didn't move a muscle. It was like she felt paralyzed. Dean understood her, he really knew how hard was managing to take all the pieces together, but he had to bring her home, so she had to believe him. << Please, say something. >>
She took a deep breath, feeling like her heart could break all at once and there was nothing she could do to help herself. That was not possible. That's what her mind was shouting, inside. The walls she had in her head were about to fall, but she couldn't allow it. So, she bit her bottom lip, looking at him. She wanted to go away, to run from him, but there was this melancholy in his irises, that kept her standing still.
<< I think you've made a mistake. >> she whispered. She knew that it was stupid to say, because how could he be wrong about his wife? Anyway, she had said it and she had to follow it. She had to do what was the best for herself.
He shrugged his shoulders, sensing this huge burden on his chest, this feeling of losing. The only feeling you can taste in your mouth, beside the blood, when you're about to die. Not for real, no. But he hoped, for a second, that the ground could swallow him alive.
<< No, listen... >>
<< Please, get out. >> she said, holding the broom tight, like it could take her on her feet. Dean remembered how she used to cling to him in the same way. It hurt somewhere between his stomach and his throat. << Please. >>
<< You're gonna remember. >> he said, in a low and controlled voice. << You're gonna remember me. I will remind you. I'm not giving up on you, ever. >> he promised, pointing a finger at her.
Then, he did what she told him and went out from the house. She looked at him walking, outside the window, before that she slipped against the wall, touched the floor and began to cry.
<< Are you sure that she lives here, now? >> Sam asked, closing the car's door.
<< Hey, treat her well! >> Dean replied, after the car made a high sound. Sam rolled his eyes. << Anyway, yeah, I do. >>
The neighborhood seemed so quiet, except for the rumors that came from the house she was supposed to live. Dean opened the door and the loud music hit them in their bones. There was a party, that night. The rooms were full of people, talking, drinking, joking, kissing, girls walking in a bikini (turned out that Y/N had a swimming pool).
They decided to split up, in order to find her quickly. Dean went to the living room, where some guys were probably stoned, a couple was kissing and one was smoking. He raised an eyebrow. It was like the Y/N he knew was gone and been replaced by someone who liked parties and drinks, but she was the opposite, in reality. She was the kind of girl who liked to stay home with him cuddling on the couch, she barely drank a glass of wine at dinner. It seemed like the spell made her party animal's behaviour to get out. Had she got it, in the first place? Dean was confused. And there, she was. Y/N was dancing, bare feet, on the table in front of the couch, a very short dress and without her usual glasses. She looked so beautiful and so free. He smiled, bitterly. That's when he realized: she didn't have that life, because she couldn't. She always had to look after him or Sam or Bobby. She had responsabilities she couldn't run from. She was doing it now. She was running away from them and from him.
He decided that it was enough, when a guy helped her to go down. He was looking at her like she was a piece of meat, but hell, she was still his wife, after all.
<< Hey, excuse me, excuse me, but I think that it is my turn. >> he said, moving in front of her.
She noticed his firm chest, his shoulders and his collarbones as first things that made her weak in the knees. Probably it was the fault of the four (or five?) beers she had drunk. Well, whatever, that guy was smokin' hot.
<< Hey, handsome. Did we meet somewhere? >>
<< That's a very lame pick up line, sweetheart. >> he replied, with an ambiguous smile.
She bit her bottom lip. That man was a challenge she was ready to accept.
<< Where have you been all my life, stranger? >>
He gulped, looking strangely hurt, but then he caressed her cheek and her heart skipped a beat.
<< Looking for you. >>
He went back to the bunker. He had to find something, anything, that could help her to remember. He called Sam, while he went to their bedroom to search for some stuff he could bring to her.
<< Dean, hey. >> Sam said, appearing behind him.
<< Sammy. Where were you? >> Dean asked, chechink the room out.
<< I got back here yesterday night. I thought you had every under control. >> he coughed, blushing a little. Dean smirked.
<< Well, it was. This morning she basically kicked me out from the house. She doesn't even recall that she had a family. >>
Sam put a hand on Dean's shoulder.
<< I'm sorry, brother. >>
He sighed, feeling so beaten even into his bones. He just hoped that she could hold the pieces together for a little longer.
<< You know that I hate chick - flick moments, right? Let's get to work. We have to find something useful. >>
Sam tried to think, but it was difficult: they could have called Rowena, but he had read that forcing a person to remember their whole life all at once was dangerous. Dean's plan was better. Still, what was enough powerful to bring back all of her memories?
<< Pictures. >>
<< What? >> Dean asked, searching in the drawers. << Could this be okay? >> he replied, showing Sam Y/N's red underwear. Sam raised an eyebrow. << She wore the night Bobby was... Nevermind. >>
Sam shaked his head.
<< Photographs, Dean. They could give her an input. >>
<< Yeah, good idea, Sammy. I'm gonna take a couple of them. >> Dean stated.
Dean moved to the desk in his old room and took a pair of framed photos: one of them at their first anniversary of marriage, in which they had a glass of Champagne in their hands, on the Miami beach; in the other one, he was holding Bobby for the first time ever, outside the hospital (she took the picture). But his gaze was caught by a piece of a thing that was getting out from the closet. He took it too, then he drove his car to her house again.
She blinked, taking his hand to bring him outside. Sam was nearby and he noticed them. She took off her dress and smiled at him, while the other guys were already in the pool.
<< Come on, mystery guy. Come and get me. >> she said, then she dived in the cold water. << Come on! >>
Dean smiled at Sam, then he undressed and dived in underwear like her. The water was really cold, he was scared to have a heart attack in the middle of the mission. But the temperature got hot instantly, when she approached him and gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek. He closed his eyes. Hell, he had missed her so much, it felt unreal.
<< I don't remember your name, mystery guy. >> she said. He quickly opened his eyes.
<< Dean. My name's Dean. >>
She whacked her forehead for a second, but just for one.
<< I'm Y/N. We're gonna have a lot of fun, tonight. >>
Dean made a thumb slip on her collarbone, looking at her lips.
<< I hope so. >> he said. Then he crushed his lips into hers and felt lost in the moment.
She felt every inch of her body burning up, when she heard a car stopping by. Her skin recognized him, even if he was still outside. She put her head between her hands, closing her eyes: it was like someone was playing with her mind. It was not funny at all. Here yes were so tired of crying. She was tired of laying on the floor, waiting for a sign. A sign that could show her that maybe it was a damn dream and she was about to wake up.
<< Y/N! >> he called. What was his name? Dean. A little voice in her head echoed within the walls. That was his name. Sweet and familiar for some reason. << Please, babe, open up. >>
She hardly got up from the floor to open the door. He tried to talk, but her eyes were so red and so swollen, that he had to stop.
<< Y/N, you cried. Go wash your eyes with some water, we're gonna wait for you here. >> Sam said, gently.
<< I'm sorry. >> she said, biting her bottom lip.
Dean's heart contracted. He thought that it could be a stroke. Damn, looking at her like that because of a dumb witch, made him want to punch someone straight in the face. He had lost two months of his life without her, two months that could never come back and now, he also had to see her suffering. It was unfair. She hadn't to pay so much.
<< For what? >> Sam demanded.
<< For not remembering. I can't feel anything, when I look at you. >> she answered, referring to Dean. He clutched his jaw. << I don't even remember giving birth to my own child! I don't know who you are! And perhaps, you're just messing with me! >> she shouted, frustrated.
Dean left all the stuff he had in a bag on the mat, then he took her hands into his ones and locked his eyes with hers.
<< Hey, look at me. Look at me. >> he said, softly. She barely could focus on him, but she did. << We're not telling you lies. You are Y/N, you are a Winchester and you are my wife. This is Sam, my brother and your best friend. You used to talk about books and to joke on me, because I'm scared of flying. We also have an angel as friend, Castiel. He's always so caring with you, because once you slapped him right in the face after he gave himself up to Lucifer and he learned not to make you angry. But this is another story. >> he explained, while her eyes were growing wide. << Listen, you'll try to remember what it feels like to be you. You'll try and if it fails... >> he was saying, but he had to stop for a second. He gulped. Saying that words, costed him a lot. << If it fails, you'll never see us again. >>
Sam opened his mouth to object, but Dean shaked his head. That was the deal. He had decided.
She nodded.
<< Okay. >>
So, she accorded their visiting. She went to wash her face in the bathroom, then she went back to the living room and listened to Dean. He was nervous, she could tell. Somehow, he was like an open book to her. Maybe there was something in the past between them, for real and that's why she felt so attracted to him the other night.
<< Well, let's begin with something simple, alright? This is a picture of us during our first anniversary. >> he told, showing her the picture.
She stared at it. It was authentic, not photoshopped, because it was made in a very good way. She touched it, making her fingers slip on thei silhouettes. They seemed so... happy. It was hard to believe that they were hunters, that they fought everyday for our lives. That was what Dean told her, anyway.
<< Does it remind you of something, Y/N? >> Sam asked.
She shaked her head.
<< I'm sorry. >>
Dean gulped, looking anywhere but her.
<< It's okay. It's not easy. >> Sam replied, then he gave her the other photo to her. << Try with this. >>
She looked at it. The little boy was supposed to be his son, probably. Her fingertips caressed his cheek and for a moment, it felt like she was sensing his skin, soft and warm. He smelled like babies, a weird smell, but that she would have recognized everywhere, because he was her son. They were connected and they would have been linked for a lifetime.
Like Dean and herself.
Then why she couldn't remember?
<< Do you feel anything? >> Sam's voice reached her, but she was lost in her thoughts.
Yeah, she felt something.
She felt like she was separated from her own skin, divided by a dam from the past Y/N and the present Y/N.
She felt like she should remember her little boy, the day he was born at least, because he was her own blood, her own love.
She felt like Dean meant the world to her, once. He was her support, her partner, in crimes and in hunts, her best friend for life.
She felt a hole in her heart. That's what she felt. A big, bad hole that threatened to swallow her alive, if only she could let it. But she couldn't and she couldn't tell them either.
So, she lied.
<< I feel nothing. >> she said and a tear went down on her left cheek.
Dean closed his eyes, blocking a sob that wanted to go up in his throat.
<< Y/N... >>
<< I respected my pact of the deal, Sam. Now, you're gonna respect yours. >> she replied, getting up from the couch, determined.
<< We're not giving up on you. >> Dean replied, fiercely.
<< You promised. >>
<< I promised to bring you back home! >> he shouted.
<< Get out! >> she exclaimed. << Get the hell out from my house or I swear, I'm gonna kick your ass out myself. >>
He stepped closer to her.
<< Try it. >>
Sam intruded in the discussion, before they could do anything. He took Dean for a shoulder and brought him outside. He was screaming that he couldn't abandon her, floundering, but Sam didn't let him go. She went behind the window to look at them.
<< You can't tell me you don't remember! >> he yelled, slamming the pictures on the glass. She held back the tears in her throat, without saying a word. << Who's lying now Y/N, uh? >> he asked, with a pair of shadows unders his eyes. He almost scared her. << Who's lying? >>
<< I'm sorry! >> she speaked.
Sam tried to take Dean, but he kept floundering.
<< Look at this. Look at his and tell me you know what this is. >> he said, taking a little thing from his pocket. She stared at it and something in her mind clicked. << Look more closely, Y/N. Look. >>
It was the 4th of July.
It happened to be Dean and Sam's best memory of them together, but it also was the day Dean proposed to her, some years ago. He had bought some fireworks for the occasion and now she was looking at their glow. They were really beautiful and sparkling, that night, on the hill behind the bunker.
<< They're glowing. >>
<< Nah, you are. >> he replied.
<< Oh, shush. >> she said, lying her head on his shoulder. << You do. You glow in the dark, babe. You're the only light I can see at the end of the tunnel. >> Dean said. Then he kissed her palm. The sweetness in his eyes was the only relevant thing she could focus on, in that moment. << That's why I would never forget about you. Even if we have our problems sometimes, I have always loved you. I really did. I still do. I forever will. >>
She smiled, biting her bottom lip.
<< I hope so, because you're gonna be tied up to me forever. >>
<< We're already married, babe. >> he replied.
<< But we're gonna be parents, too. >> she said. Dean's eyes grew wide and his smile with them. She laughed. << Looks like you're gonna love someone more than me. >>
He caressed her cheek with a thumb, a spark in his eyes. They were literally glowing.
<< I'm gonna love both of you equally. Dean Winchester has a big heart. >>
<< Oh, I know. >> she replied, putting her arms around his neck to kiss him. << He seems to be a good guy. >>
She went out from the house immediately. Dean stood in the middle of the road, looking at her with his beautiful green eyes circled in red. All the memories, pieces and pieces, were coming back to her.
The first time she held Bobby into her arms.
The night Dean confessed his love to her.
The day that witch took away her memory.
Everything.
<< I know what it is. >>
Finally, she felt it too.
<< Babe... >>
<< I love you, Dean. >> she said, before she could burst into tears.
He ran to hug her, to hold her tight and never let her go again. They fell with their knees on the street.
<< You came back to me. >>
She let her head to rest on his chest, trying to mantain her breath normal.
<< I did. >> she whispered. << I did. >>
________________________________________________________________________
Writer's corner:
Link for the FWC on Tumblr --> https://fandomwritingchallenge.tumblr.com
Link for the song --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qWqzeC3zc4
Link for crossieaus IG --> https://www.instagram.com/crossieaus/
Link for the pic --> https://www.instagram.com/p/BVShqGoHPH9/
Hope you liked it!
E.