I step outside of my math classroom and rub my eyes. Everyone in the hallway is cheering and laughing and talking loudly - the last exam, math, just ended. It's officially winter break.
Ethan is making out with Lacy against my locker. Lacy has straight blonde hair that spills down her back and long, red fingernails. I clear my throat as I glance around the halls. People are cleaning out their lockers and slamming them shut, airy conversations echoing through open doorways.
Ethan notices me and grins. "Hey, dude!" he says. He has a faint smudge of lipstick on his lip.
"Hi Cameron," says Lacy sweetly. She wraps her arm around Ethan's waist and he pulls her tight. "Are you excited for World Juniors?"
"Hey guys," I say. "You bet."
"He's leaving on Christmas Day," Ethan says, sticking his free hand in his sweatshirt pocket. "Disrespecting Jesus Christ on his birthday. How much lower can you get?"
Lacy looks horrified.
"Yeah, yeah," I say. "The tournament starts the 26th. I don't have a choice." Mom is kind of mad about it. My flight isn't until the afternoon though, so I'll be here to open gifts and stuff.
"Well," says Lacy, fluffing her hair and pulling it in front of her shoulder. "My family and I will be cheering for you."
"Please tell them I said thank you."
Ethan pulls out his phone and glances at the time. "Okay, we should go," he says to Lacy. "Cameron, I'll talk to you later?"
"Sure."
He punches my shoulder. Jesus, that hurts. "By the way, how do you think you did on the exam?"
"Eh."
"Yeah, same." He flashes a grin at me. "Okay, see you."
"Bye."
Lacy smiles and waves as they head down the hallway, and I rub my eyes again. I have a bad feeling in my stomach about the exam.
Outside, I dig through my pockets for my car keys, my boots sinking in the shallow layer of snow. The sky is a deep grey, and the air smells refreshingly cold and of pine trees.
"Cameron!"
I glance over my shoulder as I pull out my keys, swinging them on my finger. "Hey. Want a ride?"
Sam smiles and shivers, walking fast to catch up with me. "Okay," he says, his cheeks flushed and his eyes bright. "I'm coming over later anyway, right?"
"Oh, yeah."
"I told Hailey we'd make gingerbread cookies. My mom had this cookbook with a bunch of good recipes in it."
"Well, I'm excited to eat them."
Sam smiles, and I smile too. "When do you leave for World Juniors?" he asks.
"Four days. Christmas, remember?"
"Oh, right."
I unlock the car and slide in behind the steering wheel, rubbing my hands before twisting the ignition on.
Sam studies me from the passenger seat. "Are you okay? You seem quiet."
"I'm just tired."
"Why, was the exam bad?"
I check my mirrors. "Maybe. I don't know."
Sam sits quietly and waits for me to keep talking.
"I might've failed it."
"What?" Sam grins and shakes his head. "We studied together. You knew your stuff. There's no way you failed it."
"Yeah, I felt good studying. But once I got the exam, I barely remembered anything."
Sam's eyes soften a bit. "I feel that way taking big exams too," he says. "Like I don't know anything. But I do, and you do too. You did well, Cameron."
I chew on my fingernails as we sit at a red light, the blinker clicking. A light dusting of snow begins to fall. "If I failed it..."
"You didn't."
"But -"
"Hey, look at me."
I glance sideways at him. His blue eyes are big and bright, lined with long eyelashes. It's a nice shade, with little flecks of darker blue. A poet would compare it to an ocean. I don't.
"You did well," Sam says again. "Now it's Christmas time! And hockey time. You don't need to think about math anymore. Okay?"
"Okay," I say. I take a deep breath. A car behind me honks and I look back to the road, the light green. I press on the gas.
~
Olivia shakes out her curly dark hair and grins broadly at the camera, her lips lined with a deep maroon lipstick. "Good evening Channel 5 News, I'm here again with Cameron Beckett, Canada's teenage hockey extraordinaire. In just a couple days, Cameron will be playing for Team Canada in Finland."
I smile at Olivia, forcing myself to keep my hands still. Behind the camera, Mom, Veronica, and Hailey are watching me against the living room wall. It's three days until Christmas, and Channel 5 asked to do a last-minute news segment on me before I left for the tournament.
"So, Cameron," says Olivia cheerfully, her eyes sliding to meet mine. "You've recently just overcame an injury. Would you tell us a bit about that?"
"Sure," I say. "I sprained my ankle about a month ago during a game. Thankfully, I recovered pretty quickly."
"That's spectacular. Just in time for the World Junior Championship." She laughs lightly towards the camera. "How are you feeling about the Championship? Any nerves?"
"Maybe a little," I say. "I'm more excited than anything. The World Juniors are always so fun."
"That's great. You certainly will have millions of fans by the time you return to St. Anne."
I make myself smile. "Yeah, it'll be different, for sure."
"Lastly, Cameron, what are you hoping to achieve over in Finland?"
"Um, just improving my hockey skills really, and doing the best job I can in representing my country."
Olivia nods thoughtfully and turns to face the camera. "Thanks so much for speaking with us, Cameron. Our viewers can watch Cameron and the rest of Team Canada play by checking the schedule on the Channel 5 website. Back to you, Mark."
I exhale deeply as Walter, the boom mike guy, hits the record button and the red light goes off. They take the mic off my tie, congratulate me, and then are gone.
Mom brushes an invisible speck of dust off my coat shoulder. "That was nice," she says.
"Thanks, Mom."
She smiles at me. Up close, you can see all the wrinkles that line her tired face. Her short blonde hair is tucked behind her ears. "I'm so proud of you. I wish I could go with you to Finland."
"It's okay," I say. Money is too tight right now, and it's not like she could take over two weeks off work anyway.
"Will you call us when you're there?"
"Of course," I say. "I'm not leaving for another couple days, anyway."
"I know." She smiles weakly and smoothes my coat shoulder clean again. She takes a quick breath and blinks quickly. "Okay, go get changed. We're about to watch the movie."
It's a relief changing out of my suit and into a sweatshirt and sweatpants. I curl up on the couch beside Hailey. Every year, we watch It's A Wonderful Life together. I text Sam to come over, because I know he likes old movies.
Hailey rests her head against my shoulder and pulls the knit blanket up, her eyelashes fluttering sleepily. The Christmas tree is lit up brightly in the corner beside the television, and it makes the entire house smell like cinnamon and pine. Fire is crackling in the fireplace, and snow is lazily drifting down outside the window. I feel myself dozing off, too. Sam joins us as the movie starts and Veronica makes everyone hot chocolate, and we all watch the movie together.
"Hey, Cameron," whispers Hailey during the movie.
"Yeah?"
"Can I go with you to Finland?"
I smile. "Not this time."
"I'm gonna miss you."
"I'm gonna miss you too. But I'll call you all the time."
"Okay."
It's Christmas time. And hockey time. And family time. And I can forget about my math grade.
A/N asfhkerejflaksjfoiauwelrkjs hold onto your hats people. I really wanna write the next like 4 chapters tonight but we'll see how much I get done lol. Also, I'm really at a crossroads plot wise someone pray for me. I don't want to make it too dramatic and unrealistic ya feel?? yikes