An unused chapter from my story November. Enjoy.
***Mark's POV***
"Are you ready to talk yet?" I asked quietly, running my fingers through his thick green hair. He shifted slightly, turning his head so that it was facing the other way as he laid against my chest.
"No," he replied. I sighed.
"We can't avoid this conversation forever, Jack."
"I know, but can't it just wait a little bit longer? I don't want things between us to get worse."
"Who says they'll get worse?" He merely shrugged, unable to form an actual response. I rolled my eyes and sighed, running my fingers through his hair once again. He hummed in contentment, the low vibration sending shockwaves running through my chest. It was soothing to have him this close to me. It was like he was mine and I was his, and as much as I wanted it to be that way it just wasn't. And there was nothing I could do about it. I sighed, reaching up and running a hand through my own hair. Jack looked up and noticed how tired I was, his expression changing from curious to guilty. He knew it was his doing that made me like this and he knew how much I was affected.
"I'm really sorry that things are like this," he stated, resting his head back on my chest. "Maria is just..."
"Jack, you don't need to explain it to me. I get it. I just have to know one thing."
"I'll tell you anything."
"Are you just using me because you miss her?" He tensed up, immediately sitting up with a face of frustration and anger.
"What are you accusing me of?" he asked forcefully. I sighed, swinging my feet off of the sofa and onto the ground. I stood up and chuckled at his reaction, beginning to walk towards the hallway. He stood up and grabbed my hand, forcing me to turn and face him. "What's so funny?"
"I didn't accuse you of anything. I asked you a question and hoped you would say no and leave it at that. The way you acted proves me wrong."
"Mark, I'd never use you. I'm not like that. You just don't understand, my parents-"
"Save your excuses, Jack. I'm going to take a nap. Feel free to grab anything from the fridge." He grabbed my arm again, this time forcing me against the wall. He was a few inches shorter than me, yeah, but he was still rather strong for someone of his stature.
"My parents don't know I'm bi, Mark." I was silent. I wasn't surprised to know that he was bisexual, but more so that his parents didn't know. "They think I'm as straight as a ruler. They wouldn't approve of the way I am. They think that every guy out there has a lady for them and that liking people of the same gender is wrong. And Maria...she truly does love me. She's been a good friend of mine for the longest time and I just...I don't want to lose her. I did love her for a time, but after I left she just...she got a bit obnoxious. You need to understand why I'm doing this."
"Jack, I'm not going to deal with this friends with benefits shit. You have to understand, I'm absolutely in love with everything that you are. I can't just settle for what you seem to want." With me against the wall, his body hovering just a few inches away from me, he did what I never thought he would: he kissed me. It was unexpected and he knew how shocked I was. He pulled away and looked me right in the eyes, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.
"I'm in love with you too, Mark." The words I'd been waiting to hear for six months came tumbling out of his mouth as though it was nothing. His words, as blissful as they were, hung in the air. They seemed to taunt me. He may have said it but that didn't mean he meant it. Anybody could say the same thing and not mean it. He had a girlfriend, after all. He could just be playing me and I'd be none the wiser.
"Tu fais vraiment?" I asked bitterly.
"Oui." For a moment, I was surprised. Was he learning French just to find out what I was saying? It was sweet - I could admit that - but did it really mean that much to him to know what I was saying? I mean, saying yes in French is about as basic as it gets but he understood what I meant and was able to answer. When I was able to register what had happened, I couldn't stop a sad smile from forming on my face. He was being sweet but he still had a girlfriend. He was the only one that could change that, but he cared too much about hiding his bisexuality from his family.
"Jack, I can't do this if you can't."
"But I can."
"But are you willing?" He paused at that. I could practically see the gears in his head working. Surprisingly, I wasn't upset by his hesitation to answer. He had his relationship with his family and his best friend on the line. Only a truly awful person would be upset in my situation.
"I'll break up with Maria. But my parents can't know about us."
"I'm perfectly alright with that." The smile that spread across his face was one of pure relief. The tears that were resting in the corners of his eyes fell and he laughed slightly, leaning his head against my chest.
"I...I honestly thought you were going to tell me how wrong it is not to tell my parents or something."
"I was. But it seems that you already know that." I wrapped my arms around his waist and held his smaller frame against me.
"You just lifted a huge weight off my shoulders."
"I'm glad."
"Hey Mark?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm in love with you."
"I'm in love with you too."
><><><
Waking up the next morning with him in my arms was kind of scary. For a moment, I had been worried about what had happened the night before. Neither of us were wearing shirts, after all, but after a few seconds of panic, I could see that nothing was the matter. I smiled at his calm, sleeping face. His bright pink lips were slightly parted and his eyes were shut peacefully, and if it weren't for the slight rise and fall of his chest, he could've been mistaken for dead.
I pulled him against my bare chest, cradling his head with one hand and holding his back with the other. He stirred slightly, moving his legs so that they were slightly intertwined with mine. I smiled softly, content with the situation for the first time since meeting Jack. I began to play with his hair, running my fingers through the faded green locks. I twirled a few strands around my finger before combing them back in with the rest of his hair. For a moment I stopped, pulling him closer to me. I just wanted to relish in his warmth for a little longer before getting up, but he wasn't having it. He made a high pitched whining noise before reaching up and smacking my hand until I started playing with his hair again. I chuckled lowly, the roughness of my morning voice physically sending goosebumps across his precious skin.
"I haven't even said anything and you're already losing it," I teased, kissing his forehead gently. I looked down to see him blushing, obviously trying to hide the fact that he was embarrassed. "Oh what, is it my morning voice?"
"I don't know what your talking about," he lied, his words slightly muffled by my chest. I chuckled lowly again, bringing my lips to his ear.
"You're so vulnerable and innocent...I can change that." A shudder passed over him as my deep voice reverberated between us. He was obviously becoming flustered with the way I was speaking, and honestly, I found it both adorable and sexy.
"S-so, breakfast?" Jack stuttered, hopping out of bed and putting on his shirt. He had borrowed a pair of my sweatpants the night before and as much as it pained me to say it, he looked better in them than I did. I sat up and smiled at his flustered actions, watching him look at the ground as he played with the hem of his shirt. I stood up and placed one of my hands on his hip and with the other hand cupped his cheek and tilted his head up so that he was staring up at me.
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable," I said softly, moving my hand from his cheek to his other hip. His arms found their way around my neck, and for a moment it felt like we were dancing. I could imagine the music playing in the background, the singer's voice soft as they sung gentle, beautiful words. I could imagine the two of us swaying to the beat of the instrumental as it kept up a steady tempo. I almost started to sway before his voice brought me back to reality, taking away my little fantasy.
"You didn't make me uncomfortable in a bad way," he replied with a small smile. "If anything, it was more a romantic sort of uncomfortable. Like, I knew all you were doing was trying to turn me on and it may or may not have worked a little bit, but I felt awkward because I'd be uncomfortable if I heard you say those words to anyone else or if anyone else said them to me."
"I know what you mean," I stated, matching his small smile. I leaned forward and placed my lips against his for a short kiss, but he tangled his fingers in my hair and held me there. He moved his lips against mine and I was happy to reciprocate, moving my thumbs underneath the hem of his shirt to rub circles on his hips. He made a small noise, and for a moment I considered taking things further. But I refrained, knowing that it was my place as the mature adult to keep things from going too far. "So, breakfast?"
"Yeah. That sounds great. Could I, uh, take a shower?"
"Yeah, of course. You know where the bathroom is."
"Yeah. Should I worry about you sneaking in and showering with me?" A mischievous grin found its way into his face. I snorted at his comment.
"Yeah right. In your dreams, lover boy."
"I'd be blessed if I had a dream like that," he said as he walked away. I'm glad he left when he did otherwise he would've seen the blush that was left on my face.
"You're so lame," I said as I passed the closed bathroom door.
"So are you!" he shouted. I giggled, walking into the kitchen to begin making breakfast. I smiled as I gathered what I needed.
"We're lame together," I said quietly to myself.
******
This is the first version of a chapter I wrote for my story November. I had just finished the rewrite when I decided to go back and read over this. It's honestly really decent writing and I got kind of upset with myself for writing 1800 words and then bailing on it. So here it is. Enjoy. Go check out November to read the official version/to understand the plot/to support me in the Wattys.
Happy reading,
Allie B.