・・・ i ・・・
When he opened his eyes, it was already noon outside.
Fujiwara Ao blinked as his eyes adjusted to the dim light of his apartment.
His mind was a blank.
The entire room was filled with its usual silence.
He blinked again.
There was a blanket draped over his back.
He had been sleeping on the couch, his head resting on its seat.
For a moment, he was confused.
He couldn't remember what happened before he had fallen asleep.
Slowly, he turned his head around.
There was a piece of paper on top of the coffee table.
Without thought, he reached out to read it.
・・・ ii ・・・
[ I'm going out for a bit to buy ingredients for lunch. I'll be coming back. When I do, please open the door for me. Thank you. ]
He stared at the words on the paper.
Even though this was his first time seeing her handwriting,
without a doubt,
it had been a note left by Rie.
... Rie.
He closed his eyes.
In that second, Ao finally remembered what happened.
・・・ iii ・・・
A few hours ago, it had been the first sunrise of the year.
He remembered Rie's quiet confession.
He remembered Leo's pleading look.
He remembered his own silent tears.
—Ah.
That's right.
Ao had cried.
For the first time in two years,
Ao had cried without even realizing it.
He remembered what happened after that.
Of Leo's back as he chose to leave him once again.
Of Rie's warm body as she pulled him in a firm hug.
Of opening his mouth and spilling the words he had promised himself never to say.
Ao... had told her everything.
・・・ iv ・・・
His mother.
His father.
Leo.
Ame.
–Ame.
Ame.
Ame.
Ame.
Ame.
Ame.
Ame.
Ame.
Ame.
Ame.
The person he loved more than anyone.
The person he admired more than anyone.
The person he hated more than anyone.
... The person that he had killed.
・・・ v ・・・
Rie had listened to his entire story without moving away from Ao.
It had made things easier for him, though.
He had been scared.
Scared of seeing her disgusted face.
Scared of meeting her disappointed expression.
If he was being honest with himself,
Ao wasn't sure if he could have told her what he did while looking at her face.
He remembered his shaking, quiet voice.
His ugly, horrible sobs.
The lump in his throat made it difficult to speak.
Until the very end of his story,
Rie just quietly listened to everything.
・・・ vi ・・・
In the end, he couldn't remember when he had fallen asleep.
The last thing that he recalled was Rie gently squeezing him and murmuring only two words.
"... It's okay."
Now, Ao opened his eyes and stared at the note in his grasp, his fingers slightly shaking.
The same question repeated in his head.
... Why... did I tell her?
Why did I tell her?
Why did I tell her?
Why did I tell her?
Why did I tell her?
Why did I...?
・・・ vii ・・・
Ao wasn't sure. He didn't have an answer.
Shakily, he breathed out.
There was a weight on his chest.
There was a pain in his ear.
All he wanted was to fall asleep and forget about everything.
"Ah...
But is that really what we want?"
・・・ viii ・・・
The doorbell suddenly rang.
When it did,
Ao flinched in surprise.
He turned his head towards the doorway,
a small panic rising at the back of his mind.
For a moment he thought he was hearing things.
—The doorbell rang again.
Ao blinked.
He crumpled the note in his hand.
Very, very slowly, he stood up.
His legs felt heavy as he made his way towards the door.
In the apartment,
the doorbell continued to ring.
There was someone outside.
Ao knew who it was.
... Rie.
He stopped before the door while hesitating.
He reached out his hand, but stopped.
Ao was... scared.
He didn't know what to do.
He didn't know what to say.
He didn't know what kind of expression to make.
Once more, the doorbell rang.
He breathed out.
Finally, he gripped the handle, hands shaking.
Ao opened the door.
It wasn't Rie.
・・・ ix ・・・
He froze.
He stared at the person standing outside his apartment.
Someone he recognized.
Someone he knew.
You're...
Fujiwara Ao parted his lips.
"Monica...-san?"