Every night. Every single night. I'd catch her crying herself to sleep. It all still seems to haunt her.
It felt different. Somehow it felt like there was not that same kind of love between us.
Yes, I love her. More than anything but then its like she's pushing me emotionally away from her.
I love her. But right now, it feels like the love is gone. We barely talked.
I'm her boyfriend. She could tell me anything. But I don't even think she trusts me as much as I trust her.
This relationship has been dull. She was always isolating herself. She'd kiss me first thing when she wakes up and before she ends her day. But now, it was nothing like that.
It just went like a simple "hi" or "hello" Then the day just goes on.
Two years. We've been together for so long. It was the first time we didn't interact much. Before all this, we were inseparable.
We were so glued to each other, that you can't make us leave each other's side unless I or she had to go to the bathroom. We just lost it now.
It just disappeared like a tiny bubble.
Days just continued to pass. Same old. Nothing much.
"Why won't you just tell me?" It just blurted out off my mouth all of a sudden.
"Tell you what?"
"What happened with Alex. What he did."
Silence just went on. Her face was blank. The smile on her face fading away.
Maybe I shouldn't have asked her.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Why not?"
"I don't feel comfortable talking about it."
"But you can trust me!"
"No, not now."
"Why won't you just tell me!? I'm tired of waiting here. I want to know what he did to you. And I'm your boyfriend, you need to trust me." My tone raised all of a sudden.
"Just please. Leave me alone! You can't force me." Her eyes were watery.
"I'm sorry." I felt calm, as I moved closer to her. I held her hand.
"No....no, just please leave me alone. Let me think."
I kissed her. She didn't kiss back.
I made her upset. This is so wrong.
Why can't she trust me? I'M her boyfriend. She can tell me anything. I care for her. I always have and I always will.
My curiosity just got to me. Maybe I forced her. I'm such a jerk. I'm probably the worst boyfriend ever. She doesn't deserve this.
James went down the stairs. "Hey Kendall, what's up?"
I clenched my fists. "Brianna and I just kind of argued."
"Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not. I feel horrible."
"You know what, we should go out and have a drink. You should forget about everything right now."
"Fine. But what about Brianna? I can't just leave her."
"Scarlett will be here. She can be with Brianna. You need this."
"I'll go to Brianna first."
I went inside my room where Brianna was. Brianna was sleeping in my bed. My princess.
I kissed her forehead. "I'll be back soon."
"Let's go." James and I went out of the house.
Maybe he was right. I should take my mind off things for awhile. I really need this.
--*--
"This feels good." I took a sip from my shotglass.
"It really does. This is what I'm telling you. You need a break."
"Cheers." We said as we bumped our glasses.
We were interrupted by James' phone ringing.
"Oh hey baby. Yeah. Okay. Bye. I love you." James was probably on the phone with Scarlett.
"Kendall, I'm sorry. I have to go. I'll get back to you.. if I can. Scarlett needs me to go there."
"Are you sure you don't need me?"
"Yeah. I can do this."
James left and I continued to drink.
Hours passed, I was feeling really tipsy.
"Are you with someone?" A voice interrupted me.
A girl. I couldn't see her. My vision was blurred.
"Uh..... no I'm not. I'm alone." It just came out of my mouth.
"Mind if I drink with you?" She asked.
"No I don't. Take a seat."
I suddenly didn't notice. I fell asleep.