Dirty Laundry's Chapter One
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you," -Mama
2 years later, 2014
- Kimberly Mazent
I laid in bed, waiting for Malik's arrival. It's now going on five in the morning and he's been gone since ten last night.
This is nothing new, he always parties till' the break of dawn. I, being his property am to not speak on it. I'm hardly allowed to talk at all because "children are to only speak with spoken to," as he puts it.
My train of thought came to halt when I felt the other side of the bed dip. I know it's him.
The way he's breathing,
His smell,
And his body heat.
His muscular arms wrapped around my slim waist before his plump lips began pecking at my neck. His rough hands moving up my thighs, caressing my soft, caramel skin.
"Not tonight," I whispered into the dark, removing his hands only to have them exactly where he had placed them.
"Malik, please," I begged.
I was still sore from the previous nights. When Malik loved, he loved hard. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually.
Physically he us constantly beating my ass, "all out of love," he says.
Emotionally, after I gave birth two years ago, two months earlier than my due date, he was there.
Mentally, I honestly don't know where Malik is mentally. Sometimes he's here and sometimes he's there.
Sexually, yes he pleases me but he does it in all the wrong ways. He's always rough and harsh, never gentle and passionate.
"I swear bitches like you are something," he began his rant, "you never wanna give up the pussy and get mad when a man go get it someplace else!"
As long as you don't hit me tonight, I'm fine with your rant, I thought to myself before toning him out and drifting off to sleep.
***
Over the past two years, I've learned alot about myself.
Myself -I got myself in the predicament I am in. My father always told me to keep my distance of the drug dealers, druggies, and the gangbangers. Of course, I did the exact opposite and ran into the arms of Malik; the drug dealer and gangbanger.
Two years ago, I was blaming everything on Malik, Kimbella, and my mama. My mama for neglecting me, Kimbella for being perfect and Malik for turning everyone against me.
Malik didn't turn everyone against me, I did. He did not hop into their minds and say, "turn your back on Kimmy!" They did that all on their own. But they had reasoning. I started to act out and ignore the rules of the house. Even though I didn't like them, I being a child should have respected them. But, I didn't. I made some of the most idiotic decisions and now I'm paying for them.
Malik won't allow me to have a job, or speak to my family. Now that he's on the top in the drug game, he has the power to break me if I am to not do as he pleases. So because I love my son and want him to grow up with a mother, I will continue to be Malik's slave.
Tonight is date night, Malik and I will be attending some dinner a friend of his is having. He gave me his black card and is allowing me to shop for a dress alone.
I know it sounds silly but, I'm actually excited. Malik never lets me out of the house unless he's with me. I am allowed to go to the grocery store alone, as well as dropping and picking MJ up from school. But here's the thing, my attire must consist of loose jeans, loose T-shirt, or sweats.
"I don't want no man having a look at what's mine when I'm not around," he had stressed.
I got MJ dressed for our day out; he wore a red Polo tee, True Religion khaki shorts, and the latest Jordan's. He was only two, but Malik always had him looking fly.
I, on the other hand sported a London, floral print, skater skirt dress with a pair of Nude pumps. My accessories included a gold Juicy Couture watch, gold Aztec triangle earrings, and a Michael Kors Selma tote.
"Who you getting all dressed up for?" Malik asked as he walked into our closet.
Myself, nigga!
"Nobody," I answered quickly.
"Mhm," he grumbled pulling me into him -my backside to his front.
"Maybe when you get back, you'll take care of your man," he huskily whispered in my ear.
I nodded and then freed myself of his arms before picking up MJ and heading downstairs. I picked up a set of keys and made my way to the garage. I hit the unlock button and watched for whatever car that would beep.
It was Malik's red 2014 Cadillac CTS. I say Malik because I owned no vehicle.
"What you needa car fu'?" He'd asked before answering himself, "To take my son and leave me? Hell nah cuh!"
I opened the door and placed MJ's car seat in the middle leather cushion. He crawled inside and waited patiently for me to buckle him in. I drew the seat belt across his body and then asked if he was comfortable. He simply nodded and then politely asked for his iPad.
I hopped in the front seat and began backing out of the driveway. Traffic wasn't too bad, so we ended up at the mall in about thirty minutes. I sat MJ in his top of the line stroller and we began our journey.
I first stopped at the True Religion store to pick up something for Malik. I found a simple pair of ripped up jeans. Second I stopped at the Prada outlet to find myself a dress.
Just as I was purchasing my items, a familiar voice called out to me. It sounded like-like mama. I couldn't believe my ears. I stilled, my heart trying to free itself from my body.
"Kimberly, baby it's me," she said.
I slowly turned to face the woman who birthed me.
"Mama?" I asked my voice cracking.
I couldn't control the tears that escaped my eyes and cascaded down my cheeks. My mother pulled me into her warm body, engulfing me with love. My shoulder shook as I sobbed into her full chest. After a minute, I pulled away and laughed a bit.
"Your shirt is destroyed," I said, trying to suck up the constant tears.
"It's fine baby, I miss you so much! You could be shitty and I would still want to be in your presence, shitty and all," she laughed.
I smiled a real smile for the first time in years, I miss my family. I miss my life...
She noticed MJ sitting in his stroller and bent down to his level.
"You must be my grandbaby," she said smiling brightly.
He smiled back and nodded -answering as if he really knew.
"What's your name?"
"Malik, but you can call me MJ," He replied.
Mama's eyebrows shot up. She, of course didn't comment at the name Malik for MJ's sake, but I know she's heated. She gave MJ a wet kiss on the forehead and the rose from her position.
The clerk handed me my items and I sat them in the pouch of MJ's stroller. Mama exited the store with, making conversation on the way.
"You still with that devil of a man?" She asked viciously, rolling her eyes and balling her fist.
"Mama, he takes care of me and your grandson. Don't talk about him that way," I answered.
The usual reply would have been, "I love him." But, I wasn't going to say that because it would've been a lie.
I don't love Malik.
"I would have never thought that you would become the average housewife," she said sounding displeased.
And I thought you had changed, but I guess not.
"Well, mama-I've become it."
"You know Kimbella owns her own Spa across town, she owns her own house, and pays her own bills. It's nice too," she bragged as if I was one of her girlfriends.
I nodded, and continued silently walking.
"How about we sit and have lunch?"
I looked at my watch, reading 3:00pm.
"Make sure you home by fo' or I'ma have to come lookin' fa' ya' ass. Don't make me have to search fa' ya',"
Malik's voice sounded in my mind. Those were the words he had said before I left earlier.
"Sure mama, but I can't sit long. Thirty minutes at the most," I said, smiling weakly.
She nodded and gave me instructions to follow her to Amor's Grill & Bar.
We arrived in five minutes, MJ and I made our way into the crowded restaurant. Mama had reserved an outside table. I guess she was already planned on eating here. I took the seat across from her and placed MJ in the seat they had brought out for toddlers.
"Hello, I'm Amy and I'll be your waiter this afternoon. Let's start off with drinks?" The Caucasian waitress asked politely.
"I'll have red wine," Mama ordered.
"And I'll have a water with lemon, for the baby a kid's sweet tea," I said with a smile.
She nodded scribbling on her notepad and was on her way.
Damn, I should've went ahead and ordered our entrees.
"So, how's life been?" Mama asked.
"It's been good, I'm happy," I lied.
Mama nodded, I know she doesn't believe me though. Who would?
"Mama, why you hate my relationship so much? Why can't you just support my decision to be with the father of my child?"-I asked in an exhausted tone-"It's been two years, and you haven't changed your views."
"I mean if you didn't want me with him, why did you kick me out? You knew I was definitely going to run into his arms!"
"Kimmy, I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you..."
I sighed, rubbing my temples, "well explain it, so I can understand it," I demanded air-quoting understand.
"Kimmy, he's simply no good. Malik is controlling and manipulative. What else would a twenty-year old man want with a sixteen year old girl at the time? Not a damn thang, but to make you his pet! Two years later, you turned up pregnant!" She exclaimed in anger, slapping her hand down on the table.
"Mama, I'm sorry. But, I can't change the past -what's done is done," I replied.
Mama shook her head leaning back in her seat, "what time did he demand you be home?"
"Excuse me?" I asked -playing dumb.
"What is your curfew?" she asked.
I sighed putting my face in my hands, "four thirty," I answered.
"Well then you need to get going."
"Mama-"
"Don't do it, you need to go. I don't want to be the cause of you getting an ass whoopin'," she said, almost sulking.
"Can at least have your number, so I can call sometime?" I asked with a weak smile.
Mama thought a moment before asking, "Will Malik be okay with that?"
"He doesn't have to know," I asked, sounding like a child.
"Alright," she said hesitantly and then handed me her number.
I boxed MJ and I's food and we left the restaurant after Mama showered his face with smooches.
On the way home, MJ dozed off; it was time for his usual nap.
Oh shit!
I thought, looking at the on the dashboard. It read 4:30.
I began speeding, running red light, the whole nine. When I pulled into the four car garage, I took a peak at my phone seeing ten missed called from Malik.
Maybe if I carry MJ in, he won't hit me. I carefully picked MJ up out of his car seat and held him close to my chest. I walked towards the screen door, letting myself in.
Malik was seated in the living room, scaring me shitless.
"H-Hey Babe," I spoke before rushing to lay MJ down.
I don't want him to see this side of his father-the psycho, angry, and abusive side.
I dashed upstairs and into MJ's bedroom, closing and locking the door behind us. I could hear Malik's heavy feet not far behind. I laid MJ on his twin size bed, placing a small blanket over his petite body.
I took a deep breath, and turned to exit. I instantly regretted it. As soon as the door of MJ's room was closed. Malik pounced on me, yanking me up by my hair.
"Walk to the room," he demanded, harshly biting my ear.
"Ahh!" I yelped in pain.
"Shut the fuck up! You wake up my son and that's your ass," he threatened.
His grip on my hair was tight and overbearing. I silently cried as we walked the hall to our bedroom. Once we entered the unexpectantly picked me up and threw me on the bed in one swift motion. He whipped out his belt from around his hips, holding the ends together.
He really about to whoop my ass?
"Please--" I began before he cut me off.
"Please? Please what!" He yelled, before pulling his arm up and back down, slamming the leather across the skin of my arm.
I cried in vain, feeling blood flow down my arm.
"Stop! I'm sorry, I'll do anything! Baby, please stop," I begged, now on my knees at his feet.
He once again yanked me up by my hair. Malik snatched the top of the dress from my body. And began stripping me of clothing.
"You gon' take this ass whoopin' today," he'd say over and over again.
When I was completely naked, he sent another hit my way, this time slicing the top of my thighs. Just when he went in for another lick, our room door creaked open. Malik threw the belt down, knowing it was no one but MJ.
He rushed over to him and picked him up, blocking the bloody scene.
"Hey lil' man," he coo'd softly, "where you been today?"
"Mommy took me to the mall," he answered sweetly.
"Really? Well go play with your toys okay? Mommy isn't feeling well," Malik said.
He sat MJ on the carpet and he sped to his play room.
I trembled in fear, and I wondered if Malik could smell it. He walked over to the bed, and crawled on top of me. I was holding myself up by my arms, completely naked.
"See what you made me do to you?" He whispered kissing my ear where he had bit it.
"I'm sorry," I apologized -once again.
He roughly kissed my lips, slipping his tongue in my mouth. I kissed back, in hopes to get his mood back up.
He pulled away and demanded I go wash my cuts. I nodded and went to follow my given instructions.
Thirty minutes later I was out of the shower and clean. Though the cuts were still bleeding a bit. When I entered the room, on the floor sat a petite elderly lady. She stood and motioned for me to lie on the nicely made pallet. I did and she instantly began stitching up my cuts, after cleaning them with alcohol.
Of course, I cried but I had to push through it if I didn't want my arm to rot.
After she was finished, she cleaned up the mess and gathered her things. Once she was out of sight, I dropped my towel, noticing the note of the fresh sheeted bed.
I picked it up and read,
Dear Kimmy,
Hey baby, sorry about earlier. You know how I get. Anyway, I need you to get ready for our night out. Remember my friend is having a dinner? I've already purchased your dress. I'll have a Spa Team at the house at 6 --which should be now as you read this. MJ is spending the night with my mama up in the suburbs across the city, so we'll have the house alone tonight. ;) I'll be there at 8, look sexy!
- Love You, Malik.
What a phony!
I thought and went to answer the door. It had to be the Spa Team Malik had hired. About five women stood on the other side of the door. I escorted them to Malik and I's bedroom where we got down to business.
In one hour and a half I had a pedicure and manicure. My eyebrows had been arched, my legs had been shaved, my hair was done, and I had received a much needed massage.
Now all I had to do was slip on the Vera Wang dress Malik had got for me. The dress was red and held a plunging neckline between the breasts. It sparkled in the light and was drop dead gorgeous. I hadn't seen anything like it. The women helped me shimmy into my dress that fit perfectly. My perky breast sat upright and my wide hips evenly filled the dress out.
My hair was in a neat bun with a swooped bang. My long, nice structured neck held a diamond necklace and was arms held diamonds as well. I had on the wedding ring Malik had given me as a present after giving birth to MJ-even though we aren't married.
Malik stepped into the room, looking good as ever. He had a nice haircut; his goatee was clean and curly. The dark skin of his glistened and his right ear held a diamond stud.
If only he looked as good on the inside as he did the out.
He walked up to me, taking me into his arms.
"I hope those men don't have wandering eyes, cause' you are definitely a neck breaker," he said kissing my neck.
"You think?" I asked softly.
"I know," was his reply.
I wish that this side of him was permanent. He's sweet and gentle but later on he'll be a beast and I'll be the prey. And the sad thing is, I couldn't leave him, even if I wanted too.
I nodded kissing his plump, pink lips.
"Let's go," he said taking my miniature hand into his colossal one.
I nodded and he led the way.
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New Book! Whatcha' think? How about leaving some dope ass comments! Give me your opinion on this chapter and do you think I should continue? :)
xoxo, DymonSkies
MUCH LOOOOVEEE ✌