"Okay Billy, time's up. Let's get you back to your room. Come on." I say as I drag a hysterical 9-year old away from the ball pit. A 9-year old who will mostly never be 10. Because of cancer. But he didn't seem to be aware of that. Most of the parents don't tell their children what exactly was happening. They either thought it was too much for them to understand or they just wanted their kids to enjoy their last few months here on earth as happily as possible. Billy was one among them. It broke my heart to think that in a few months or even weeks I wouldn't be dragging this little monkey back to his room.
It's been exactly 4 months since I started volunteering here at BillRoth Memorial. And within this short span of time I've both met and lost so many beautiful souls. Thinking of all those kids who weren't here anymore always made me tear up. I distracted myself by play fighting with Billy. His loud laughter made my pensive mood disappear. As we neared his room Nurse Rhonda said she'd take him inside. I left him with her and wandered off to look for someone who might need some help. I did not have any specific job here at the hospital. I was usually just told to entertain or play with the kids. Apparently I was very good with children. I did not see that myself, because most babies cried whenever I tried carrying or playing with them. But the pre-teens were okay. The stories they would tell me about their classmates and school would make me wonder if I had lived my childhood properly.
I always knew I wasn't a social butterfly, but I also knew I wasn't anti-social. Up until one day, one of the kids asked me what I did when I hung out with my friends. That was when it actually hit me that........I didn't have any friends. There were of course people I waved to when I would see them outside school, but I did not have even one friend whom I could casually call and ask if we could go watch a movie or something. And don't even get me started on boys. I must be some kind of boy-repellent because none of the boys at my school even noticed my existence.
I knew I was kinda decent looking so it wasn't my face that was putting off the guys. I also wasn't rude or bitchy so it also wasn't my attitude. So I do not know why I had a huge deficiency in the love department. But that was not a huge problem for me, because I didn't mind being single. But there are those times when I could do with a cuddle or.....even a kiss. I wonder how kissing someone must feel like.
"Michelle darling, could you come over here for a bit?" I heard Dr.Rachel's voice call out for me. I walked towards the reception desk where she was standing.
"Hey Doctor. Anything I could help you with?"
"I do have a small request. One of our senior nurses is not available for a few weeks, and one of her patients doesn't have a second-in nurse. I will be looking after him and administering him directly but I will be needing a helping hand around. Could you possibly help me?"
"Well yeah sure. I would love to." I reply.
"Thanks a lot Michelle. I'll be off to the trainee wing now, but you can go meet our patient, George. He'll be in room 93. I'll see you later."
"You too." I reply and start walking towards the stairs. Room 93 was on the right end of the first floor and had a marvellous view of the park. I'd been in there only once when I was filling in for one of the volunteers. That was where I had met Sally. I didn't get to spend much time with her but I was devastated to hear when she passed away. Even though the chances were very slim I always hoped for a miracle that at least one of these kids would survive.
I knocked on the door of Room 93 and asked if I could come in. A deep voice answered saying I could. George's parents were probably there. I opened the door and walked in.......not to see a 7 or 8 year old playing on his bed, but a teenage boy, probably 18 or 19, doing something on his phone. I was quite surprised because I was usually assigned only to children and not older patients. But I will admit I did not really mind, because George.....he was one fine specimen.
He looked up to see me and he too had a look of surprise on his face.
"Hello there." He said in that same deep voice. "I was expecting Nurse Susan."
"Well...um...she's not available for a few weeks. I will be filling in for her, just lending a helping hand for Dr.Rachel." I reply.
"Oh okay. Hi! I'm George." He said with a cute lopsided grin.
"Hey, I'm Michelle. I'm usually assigned to kids, so this is a little new for me." I replied, trying to come up with an equally cute grin.
"Oh umm, well, what do you do with your younger patients?"
"Take them to the ball pit or the park. Rest of the time they tell me stories about their school and friends."
"Well we too could do that, but a little differently. Why don't you tell me what goes on at your school? I haven't been to school in the last one month so I don't have anything to tell." He said switching off his mobile and propping himself up with pillows, turning to fully face me. He cupped his chin with one hand and looked at me intently. I didn't want to disappoint him with my lack of interesting events. I was tempted to make up stories about wild parties and long lines of boyfriends, but I sensibly did not. I looked around for a stool to sit on and brought it near the bed.
I looked up at his face and told him the truth. "Even though I have been regularly attending school, I don't have anything interesting to tell either. You see, I'm not a very socially active person. I go to school, listen to my teachers and come back home. So unless you want to hear about what I learned in History today, I have nothing to talk about."
"How is that even possible? Given your beautiful face, I thought you would have countless guys waiting to date you, and girls inviting you over to their parties. I honestly thought you were the Queen Bee." He said with a surprised expression on his face.
"Haha, you think if I had that busy of a schedule I would even be here as a volunteer?"
His face kind of fell as I said that. He looked away and said "Yeah. People don't come here on their own accord. They come and meet all of us dying people because they have nothing better to do."
"That's......that's not what I meant. I...I..swear. I love coming here. I'm not doing it out of compulsion or anything. I swear. I'm so sorry, I really did not mean that." Goddammit! What the hell was I thinking? I've made him think that he is some kind of last option.
"No, it's fine. I like that kind of honesty." He replied with a small forced smile.
"No, that's not true. I don't know why I even said that. I'm pretty sure that now if I had an option between attending a party and coming here, I would choose coming here. Talking and playing with these kids is any day better than dancing among sweaty bodies in crowded halls. I swear." I said.
"You "swear" a lot." He said chuckling. I smiled politely back.
"But you know it's not always like that. I've been to a fair share of parties, and not all of them go as you said. We don't always get drunk, dance and end up in a stranger's bed. We do actual fun things like playing games......"
"What? Like Spin the bottle?" I ask interrupting him.
"Sometimes yes, but we also do play stuff like charades, pin-the-tail, musical chairs." He said.
"Well, I'll take your word for that. If I do ever attend a party sometime in the future, I'll be very disappointed if I don't get to play all that." I say smiling.
"You have a very nice smile." He said staring at my lips. I felt quite self-conscious of my chapped lips at that moment.
"Umm, thanks. You have a very nice smile too. And I'm not saying this just to be polite."
"Haha, thank you. So tell me, what do you do in your spare time?"
"I read, sometimes. I have a lot of unfinished books lying at home. I spend most of my time on social media, stalking people. And it never gets boring you know, because my schoolmates are a very interesting bunch."
"Wow. Creep." He said raising his eyebrows.
"I'm not a creep! I'm just trying to get to know my classmates better, provided they don't come talk to me on their own." I said my voice trailing off as I realised how lame that sounded.
"Okay okay chill. I'll take your word for that." He said winking at me. I could feel my cheeks heating up and prayed that he wouldn't notice me blushing.
"Aww, look at you gone all red. Am I making you blush?" He said laughing out loud.
So much for praying.
(A/N : Hey guys. Remember me? Haha. I'm sorry for disappearing like that. I don't have any excuses or reasons. Just the bare truth that I am lazy. I know this seems like I don't value you guys, but I swear that's not the case. I love connecting with you guys and hearing from you. It's like, for a period of time I'm on some high and I go on a chapter updating rampage. And other times I'm on a low where I don't even want to open Wattpad and see what's happening. I'm not gonna make any promises like "I'll updated regularly from now on." because I know that that's not gonna happen. See you guys next time!
Lots of love xxx)